Night the Third: On Death, Life and Love

My lover shook me, awakening me from sleep. Perhaps she thought I had stopped breathing, that you had come. I promised her you would. Death, do her bidding and take me from this waltz. Let her pass into the next movement without a change in step. This, I ask of you.


That night we awoke and the heavens were revealed to us. Above, more stars than could be imagined, spilled from one horizon to the other. The heat of a summer night had broke and our eyes were open to the universe. We lay in wonder: water lapping against rock, a loon's mournful cry, the splash of a fish. Then she spoke.

"I want you to promise me something, my love."

Of course. My promise was made long ago.

"I want you to die before I do."

My lover stared into the heavens. Her voice was lost somewhere in the night, swallowed by the blackness between here and there. I knew what she intended: she understood that I could not exist in a world without her. To wake, without her. To dream, without her. And I knew that she would suffer as I would, yet she would sacrifice herself for me.

Is there no other option than to die? Death is merely a technical problem, isn't it? One that can be solved with stem cells or transplants or bionics. We have cured every other problem, surely mankind can engineer our way out of this minor inconvenience. It needn't come to an end, not for us.

I didn't want Death to become my partner, to lead the next dance. She would be left behind, with Time.

"My love, death is not an end. Just as every breath you have exhaled has given life to these trees, they have in turn sustained your breath with their oxygen. Just as every letter you have written, every word you have recited, every idea and sentence you have composed has spurred emotion and inspired thought, and just as every note you have played or song you have sung has led someone to wonder or to love, each step you have taken is part of the great dance. And when the biology of your body ceases to function, the energy of your mass will return to the earth, the water in your veins will flow again in the endless cycle, the very carbon of your being will ascend to the sky. You will exist with me, with us, forever."

I felt her body shudder against mine as we stared into the vastness of the stars. From our bed of beach sand and pine boughs, my lover pointed to the sky and showed me the universe. I saw our planet as a single atom, a minuscule part of a vast, living organism, a solitary world that was a mere particle of the greater existence. Everything is alive, even in death.

"You see, we will finally be free from time, and our love shall truly be everlasting."


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