harry and louis have been together for a few weeks now. harry has done his best keeping his secret and half of the time louis was either at his dorm doing his classes or at work, so he didn't have any speculations about harry's double life. zayn almost fucked up and let it slip, but harry punched him in the nads before it got bad.

louis knew that his town had some crime involved, all towns do. he knew about the rumor of a gang being associated there, he knew of the drug dealings (he was a pothead, gotta find the right plug -- but zayn's his dealer so he doesn't stress over it anymore), and it wasn't until someone got shot that louis was blowing harry's phone up trying to figure out what the fuck was going on.

baby🍒: harry?

baby🍒: someone got shot. its all over the news. are you home & safe? xx

louis sighed in relief when he got a response from his boyfriend.

big sexy💦: i'm okay babydoll. what happened? i haven't heard anything about it :/ xx.

harry got a little too cocky and changed his nickname in lou's phone. so now, he likes to be referred to as 'big sexy,' because zayn was acting a fucking fool and said it in front of louis. louis could only laugh because he knew zayn wasn't being serious.

so yeah, now harry is big sexy.

baby🍒: idk the whole thing but they said someone got killed over some stuff. they believe its gang related.

harry threw his head back in his seat. "god damn it."

"what?" zayn asked, unbuckling his seatbelt. he turned to look at his best friend in confusion.

"louis knows."

"about us?"

"no, 'bout seth and devon," harry sighs. "they got it on the news."

"who the fuck watches the news?" zayn snorted.

"louis," harry replied and got out of his car.

the night before, harry had to go to work for evan. the job involved a man named seth, who was hiding from evan. he owed evan some money, and he either wouldn't cough it up or didn't have it. which was typical, but damn, they need something new. harry's getting tired of putting bullets in heads just because people don't want to do what they're supposed to do.

anyways, at seth's, harry tried getting the money and it wouldn't come up. so harry threatened him with his gun and seth's boyfriend, devon, tried attacking harry. which involved with multiple gunshots firing, and zayn killed devon by putting a bullet right between the eyes. seth was killed too, because he didn't have what evan expected.

"they said it's gang related," harry mumbled.

"haz, they can't do anything about gangs. it's literally as common as herpes nowadays," zayn walked up to the front door. "it's expected. do us wrong, we do you wrong. do us right and we won't have any issues."

"i know," the other gang member sighed again. "but.."

"did i not tell you that if louis walks away, he's a pussy?"

harry frowned and shook his head.

---

"harry?" louis poked his head in harry's room. harry looked up and stretched his arms out. guilt was eating him up. it shouldn't, he's been in the gang ever since he was eighteen. he used to not care that he was part of a monarchy, the conquest mob, but for some reason any time he pulled the trigger louis' face appeared in his mind.

louis was such a delicate being. full of light, almost a uni grad, a manager of a club and an art.

"zayn let me in," louis said as he nestled into harry's chest. harry held him close and louis could sense the uneasiness coming from the man. louis rubbed harry's shoulders and slid his hands down his inked arms.

"what's wrong?" louis asked softly, scooting back so that he could see harry's face.

harry looked at louis and then dropped his gaze down in his lap. "i'm so sorry," he whispered. "you'll think i'm nuts. you're gonna walk out of this room and never talk to me again-"

"did you cheat?" louis squeaked.

"no! no! never would i do that," harry shook his head and grabbed louis' hands. "i couldn't do that to you. 'm not a piece of shit.."

louis let out a soft laugh. harry was terrified that this could be the last moment he heard that laugh, his voice, feel his hands and his tiny figure.

was he overreacting?

"haz," louis pecked his lips, "tell me what's wrong. you can tell me anything."

"anything?" harry whispered.

"anything," louis confirmed and squeezed harry's hands. "that's what boyfriends are for..."

harry took a deep breath and looked away. "i did it."

"did what?"

"i shot those lads on the news," harry said weakly. here it goes. his wall isn't cracking, it's plummeling down like fucking pompeii. "i-i'm in a gang. like, a real fucking mafia thing with zayn and his dad and i sell drugs and i kill people and- fuck, i'm sorry i never told you because i was afraid you'd leave me," he whimpered. he released louis' small hands and covered his face.

he shouldn't be ashamed. but he is.

he can't back out. not now, not ever.

louis' breathing was uneven as he watched harry push back his emotions, watched him try to hide his sobs that were threatening to let loose. his harry, a gang member? his sweet, loving harry was in a mafia?

"if you hate me, i understand," harry mumbled. "i would too. i've done alot of fucked up things and i-"

louis collapsed onto him, holding him. he didn't want to believe it but suddenly everything made sense. harry working nights, harry having all this money, he and zayn having endless amounts of weed and nice cars and a nice house. he would have thought he was just an owner or a boss of a good paying company, but the dots were being connected.

harry told louis that he was at work when seth was killed. harry told louis that he had to go home early because he was feeling ill.

harry is in a gang. harry kills people.

but then again he probably couldn't help it? louis can't hate him but he can hate what he does. or he could. harry expected that one more.

"hazza, breathe," louis whispered. harry clung to him like a child who didn't want to go to school on their first day. he held onto him like a mother who lost their child and didn't want the doctors to take the dead body away.

right now, harry was the child and the parent.

"is that why zayn carries a gun?" louis asked after a few minutes of silence due to harry trying to even his breathing. he was stroking harry's arm with one hand and playing with his hair with the other. harry nodded, turning his head to look away. he ultimately believed that louis probably didn't want to be around him right now, probably thought he was some heartless sick fuck.

"i can't say i'm okay with it," louis mumbled. "but can i ask why you're in this..gang?"

"i was running the streets," harry shrugged. "my parents kicked me out when i was sixteen. i was still going to school but i was staying at a shelter. i met zayn, and he asked why i didn't get dropped off or picked up at home every day. i told him i was just visiting my aunt who was living at the shelter. zayn came there and found out i was living there and his family took me in..." he sighs. "one day someone tried to break in the house after i moved in and i uh..i shot them. evan, zee's dad, asked what happened and i told him and he kinda put me on watch over the house? i dunno what really started it. he found me intimidating and when i turned eighteen he told me he wanted me in the clique, gave me the ground rules. zayn's his running man. i'm zayn's right hand. so i guess i just blended in."

louis was now sitting on harry's tummy, straddling his torso as harry spoke towards the ceiling.

"i'm sorry," harry said again.

"don't apologize to me," louis said softly. his voice was gentle, with a tone that made harry melt. louis wasn't beating him. he wasn't trying to kill him, he hasn't left yet, and harry was starting to believe that louis may actually be okay with it.

"i can't stop you from doing what you..do," louis rubbed harry's chest gently. "but just..don't bring it around me? or the club. unless something goes wrong where one of us need to be protected, then i don't want anything to do with it."

"you're not mad?"

"i'm mad that you waited to tell me but i get where you're coming from," louis crooned. "you're scared. you don't wanna see anyone you love get hurt."

lou took the words right out of harry's mouth. he didn't want louis knowing because he didn't want louis hurt. he didn't want someone trying to hurt louis because of the things he had done previously.

"you don't hate me, do you?" harry finally looked up into louis' eyes.

"i could never hate you," louis replied, leaning down to where their foreheads were touching. "just be safe for me, yeah?"

harry nodded because, yeah, he could do that, or atleast try to. anything to make his louis happy, to keep him safe and sound. if that involves keeping himself safe then he had no problems.

"now gimme a kiss, big sexy," louis hummed and harry let out a small laugh, pulling him down and kissing him.

louis cuddled with harry for a while, holding him instead of being the one that is held.

---

did it seem like i pulled this out my ass? i did in some points but i didn't want to make it too dramatic to where louis is like no fuck you go die. louis is a rider. for sure. and you'll see that alot more in this fic. i have this whole thing planned out so far and when i say theres quite a few chapters, i mean it. this is chapter 8 and i have up to 40 more in my drafts! ive been pre-writing all summer long to the point i couldn't stop wondering how it would be to publish it. so here we are, nowhere near quarter-way in and 550 reads (: