✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: The Wind Within Me

Author: Lane2London

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (1/5): I like that you mentioned the title within the first couple chapters but I'm still a little at a loss for how it relates to the story. Is it referencing her thoughts? If so, it only seems to be relevant to chapter 5. I think it would be helpful to show more conversations with the voice in her head throughout the rest of the story to make the title more relevant.

Cover (5/5): The cover is very clean and entices readers to learn more. I really like the fonts used for the title! I'm not entirely sure how everything relates yet but the girl must be the nameless girl from the story.

Summary (8/10): The summary is very intriguing and definitely made me want to learn more. I especially liked the last part about how the stranger finds the phone and reads her story; that drew me in immediately. The person writing the text seems to be the nameless girl in the story but there's no mention of a phone in the story, so how and when does she write the text? Perhaps that comes into play later but I think it would help to make the summary more relevant if you mentioned the phone earlier on. I also noticed one typo in the summary: it should be "I charged it" instead of "I charged the it".

Plot (8/15): It was hard for me to gauge a score for the plot because although there are eight chapters, the shorter lengths of the earlier ones made me feel like I only read four so I don't know too much about the plot. There are a lot of stories about characters waking up in an unfamiliar place without any memories (hell, that's even a large part of one of my stories) so I think it's difficult to stand out in that space but I thought the language barrier was a nice addition. It's difficult to determine where the story is going to go from where you left off but you do a good job of adding new things to keep readers interested, like the map and the letter the man gave her. What you have so far seems to make sense so I don't really have any critiques right now other than an unsure footing on what the plot is, but perhaps it will shine through more after you post more chapters.

Characters (7/10): Like with the plot, it was also hard for me to determine the score for the characters because I don't feel like I had the time to get to know them as well, but I do like how you use showing, rather than telling, to begin to help readers get a sense for the male character. The scene where he rushes outside to paint the scenery, for example, allows us to start to see his character better. It's hard to get a feeling for the main character since she doesn't even know who she is, but her thought process and reactions seem natural and normal for the situation.

Organization (2/5): The story is clean and easy to navigate. I noticed a handful of spelling/grammar errors but otherwise it looks like you were pretty thorough. The biggest thing I noticed was that the chapters are really short. I think it would help the pace of the story if you made them longer by combining some of the chapters together. I think this would be especially helpful for chapters 1-5 since they all seem to take place at the same time. Chapters 7 and 8 were a decent length, so I'd refer to those.

Overall (31/50): The story is very beautiful and you've got some great descriptive skills! For a story about a girl waking up in a strange place with no memories, it was actually a surprisingly tranquil read. My biggest recommendation is to combine some of the earlier chapters together to bulk them up and then I think you'll have some sturdy bones for the beginning of a great story. You've definitely got me intrigued to see what happens next!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧