✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: The Perfect Harmony

Author: Maggie-Nary

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (3/5): From what I've read, I'm not entirely sure how it relates to the story but it does catch my attention. I'd recommend making its relation to the story more apparent right away, however.

Cover (3/5): The center part of the cover is eye-catching and interesting but the border around it is distracting, especially since its not even, there's green lines, and it says "comment" at the bottom. I'd recommend cropping the picture so that it's just the center and then I think you'll have the perfect cover!

Summary (7/10): The summary is a little long, although it does provide relevant information. In general, shorter summaries often fare better because readers looking for new stories to read often don't devote much time to reading summaries and may flip past it if it's too long. Taking out some details that aren't immediately important to the story (such as some of the descriptions of Melharmo and of the main protagonists) may help to shorten your summary.

Plot (10/15): Due to the length of the chapters, I was only able to read the prologue and the first chapter. I like the concept behind the story and I've already got some theories as to who I believe is who (For one, I think Shane is Obreon). The story seems to have a nice, natural flow and the pacing seems to be on the right track, although I think both of these slightly suffer from the length of the chapters and would be more apparent if you split the chapters up. The prologue does a good job of setting up the story, however there was so much information that I had to re-read through it a couple times to understand. I think it would help if you explained a bit more about the world and its general history, because I was confused about why Obreon believed Shantaire to be a traitor. For the present timeline, I like that you used Brian's perspective during the part where they're all taken (I'm assuming to Melharmo), however, I think the story would benefit more if you utilized Shane's perspective to explain the events leading up to them being taken, because the presence of Kian and Nick seemed to kind of come from out of nowhere. It would be nice to know why Shane was crying and what Kian and Nick were doing to give the final scene a little more impact. I also thought that the scene where Kerry asked Brian out was a little confusing and out of place. It seems that something was messing with Brian's head prior to this event, so was this also in his head or did this actually happen?

Characters (7/10): I don't know anything about Westlife, but you seem to do a good job of describing the characters without any need for prior knowledge. Utilizing different perspectives also helped me to learn more about each character's personality and helped to set them apart from each other. The relationships between characters was easily apparent from the beginning, and the dialogue seems to flow well. My biggest recommendation would be to differentiate between the personalities of the characters in the prologue a bit more, because you introduced so many at the same time and it became a bit hard to keep track of who was who.

Organization (1/5): The chapters are very, very long. I would really recommend breaking them up into several different chapters to make it easier to read. Many readers can start to lose interest in a book when there aren't intermittent breaks because it makes it difficult to pay attention and to keep track of everything. Especially since there's a lot of detail and information in your story. I would also recommend adding chapter numbers so that it's easier for readers to keep track of where they are in the story since numbers are easier to remember than titles. Otherwise, your pages are clean and the story is organized well. I noticed a few spelling/grammar errors but overall, it looks like you were pretty thorough.

Overall (31/50): You've got some great world-building skills and its evident that you put a lot of thought into this story! I like your descriptions and how you're able to translate something from real life into a fantasy setting. My biggest recommendations would be to split up the chapters so they're not as long (usually 1,500-3,000 words per chapter is a good ballpark for length, but go off the natural splits in the story), to trim the border off the cover, and to touch upon the things I mentioned in the plot section. Otherwise, good job and I'm curious to see where the story goes!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you for your patience! ☺