✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: Money Hearts

Author: mortaltendencies

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (4/5): The title seems to make sense for the story and catches the reader's attention.

Cover (5/5): I like the simplicity of the cover and the fonts are definitely eye-catching. You can tell that the girl on the cover is Eleanor and the darker colors help to represent the darker themes within the story.

Summary (10/10): The summary is a good length; not too long and not too short. It does a good job of luring readers in without giving too much away and provides a brief, but relevant, introduction to the main characters.

Plot (10/15): I had some initial confusion in the beginning of the story pertaining to the timeline and Eleanor's age. What happened in the six months between when Eleanor was rescued and the start of the story? Did she drop out of school for a while to cope with the kidnapping? I never saw it specifically addressed. I know the summary says Eleanor is 16, but I was confused because she's able to easily obtain alcohol - often from her dad and other adults - but she's still in school and her school has "recess" (maybe you mean something different or things are different at other schools but I only ever had recess in elementary school). Is she able to get alcohol whenever she wants and not get in trouble because she's rich? These are relatively minor things but they may be helpful to address. You set up the story well in the first few chapters and the pace seems appropriate but it still feels kind of slow to me, although I don't know how to recommend changing that so that may just be a personal opinion. I'm sure if I read beyond the ten chapters I read that it would start to pick up more, but maybe sprinkling in more flashbacks or information about the kidnapping/kidnappers earlier on would be helpful to keep readers hooked. Otherwise it looks like it's shaping up to be a very interesting and intriguing story!

Characters (7/10): I really liked how you showed Eleanor's flashbacks from her PTSD and emphasized her mental health throughout the story. I wasn't personally able to relate to any of the characters because I'm broke af and would probably never hang around people like them in real life but it seems like you've got a good grasp on their relationships with each other and their roles within the story. The dialogue seems to flow well between characters but the one thing I noticed was that Eleanor's dad calls her "pup" a lot (like Great-Gatsby-"ol'-sport" level a lot). It's a cute nickname but it gets to be a bit much when it's used nearly every time Eleanor's dad speaks. It's really not a huge deal, but personally it started to get to me. I also noticed that Eleanor and her dad's accents really started to show in later chapters but not so much in the earlier ones (I think it starts after you inform readers that they're originally from England). It feels a little inconsistent because you hardly use British slang or visually show their accents in their dialogue in the first couple chapters but then it starts to happen a lot in later chapters. Again, this isn't as big of a deal but I thought I would mention it.

Organization (4/5): The story is organized well and easy to navigate. I did see some spelling and grammar errors throughout the book but you did say it's a first draft so I'm sure you're aware of these. I like the little header pictures you add at the beginning of each chapter and they help to set the vibe for what we're about to read.

Overall (40/50): Your descriptions are HOLY CRAP. I was blown away by them throughout the story and they made it incredibly easy to picture what was happening. I don't really have any big or technical changes to recommend, a lot of it was minor or my own personal opinions (which you can take with a grain of salt). I guess I would just recommend clarifying some of the points I made in the "plot" section and fixing spelling/grammar errors when you go back to edit. Otherwise great work and I high-key love your writing style!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you for your patience while this shop was on hiatus! ☺