✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 I n f o 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Book: COLOURLESS

Author: loltales

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 『 R e v i e w 』 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Title (5/5): Works perfectly for the story!

Cover (5/5): I LOVE the cover! It's incredibly eye-catching and very well done! It definitely made me want to learn more!

Summary (8/10): The summary does a good job of reeling readers in without giving too much away and its a good length. The only thing I would recommend adding is that Ariel was born with several colors, as this is pertinent information to the plot. Also, I don't generally recommend adding quotes from the story to the summary but I think the last five lines of the second chapter would be perfect to start the summary with! That's just a recommendation, however, as the summary would stand strong without the quote too.

Plot (10/15): I thought the concept was really intriguing, as I haven't read anything like it before. I really like the concept of Ariel being born with additional colors while Ash is born with none and that she uses these additional colors to help him. I think the story gets off to a good start and sets a good pace initially, although I think the plot gets a little distracted by the fight between Ariel and Thane, however you seem to bring that back around to the main issue of Ash being colorless by chapter ten. The biggest recommendation I have is to explain more about the abilities and the world your characters live in. What I understood from what I read is that defenders are able to create shields, offenders are able to create weapons, and creators are able to create just about anything, but I never saw this explicitly stated. I think it would also be beneficial if you went into more detail with Ariel's powers since she seems to have three different ones. Is she a defender, an offender, and a creator? Perhaps you go more into this later, but do those abilities interact with each other? Can she use more than one at once? It'd also be nice to get an idea of what their world is like outside their school and home. You don't have to go super in-depth in the first ten chapters, but I think a little history would help readers to immerse themselves into your world more. Maybe you could use the setting of one of their classes to explain it a little more. My other recommendation for the plot is that it's a little confusing as to who won the fight between Ariel and Thane and why at the end of the chapter nine, and while you explain it in a disclaimer, I think it'd be beneficial to make it more clear in the story. Why was Maven unable to count correctly? Did she miss points, not know what counted as points, or was she purposely doing it so that her brother would win? Otherwise, I think you do a good job of explaining the school and how it functions and I thought the fight scene between Ariel and Thane was really interesting.

Characters (7/10): I would recommend introducing Ariel's name sooner, preferably within the first chapter, because aside from the summary, we don't learn the main character's first name until the fourth chapter and her full name until the tenth chapter. Otherwise, I thought the relationships between the characters were apparent and that the dialogue was fairly natural. I didn't get to know many of the characters very well outside of Ariel, but there was a lot going on in the first ten chapters and there's quite a few characters so this is understandable. Ariel is fairly relatable and she seems to have a good balance of flaws and strengths.

Organization (3/5): The book is clean and well-organized. I think the chapters are a good length, although they could be a little longer if you wanted them to. The biggest issues are that I noticed quite a few spelling and grammar errors and a lot of your paragraphs are only one sentence long. I would recommend combining like-sentences into the same paragraph and trying to aim for at least 3-4 sentences per paragraph (for most paragraphs; within books it is common to have 1-2 sentence paragraphs as well, it just shouldn't be the bulk of the paragraphs).

Overall (38/50): You have an awesome concept for the story and I think you execute it well! I don't know if this is necessarily what you were going for, but your story gave me major Divergent vibes and I think it would make for a really cool film or TV series! My biggest recommendations are to explain more about the abilities and the world your story takes place in, to introduce the name of the main character in the first chapter, to include information about Ariel's abilities in the summary, and to make your paragraphs longer. Otherwise, great job and I'm excited to see where it goes from here!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you for your patience! ☺