Book Title: Of Fire and Ashes
– A compilation of short stories
Written By: walkingnorth-
Chapters Read: 2 (up to current update)

Cover: 4/5

  I think the book cover is really neat! It shows off the title very well and has some nice background manip techniques too. Adding in a more... uh, vibrancy would've made it more eyecatching as it is, after all, a fantastical story about magic and its roots and how it affects people.

  Though in my opinion, it carries out that fantasy theme really well, and since this book is a compilation of short stories, I think it was really well made. Simple and neat.

  I do wonder how the title came to be though, since usually a short story compilation book correlates to either the first short story, or the overarching theme of what the short stories would eventually be about. Fire and Ashes just seemed like it had nothing to do with the current ones I've read so far, so I was curious.

Blurb: 5/5

  Personally speaking, short story blurbs would then be constructed differently from the normal novel or novella.

  While I think it's a fairly good idea to add short, mini-blurbs of the individual stories, they would probably end up accumulating to a strange length the more stories there are and would look weird.

  In my opinion, an oversight of what kinds of themes would the compilation of short stories  be about would be nice, too.

Description: 4/5

  From the first couple paragraphs alone, I was able to tell that this was gonna be a good read. There is an adequate amount of worldbuilding tidbit that allows us to understand what is necessary, but not so much of it so as to drown us in it. It was really interesting too, mixing in the rules of the magic as Astra travels along in the Night Market before she meets the woman.

  We get an introduction and an understanding of it all in a short span of time, and it just makes each sentence itself such a good, gripping read. The transitions to her thoughts, her actions, and her reactions are smooth as heck and I found myself thoroughly intrigued to read on.

  Actually, I kinda thought that the woman who ran the magic shop was gonna be revealed to as Astra's mother since she lost her daughter too — until I realized it wasn't by the description of her figure in the water. One thing I thought I'd mention here was the fact that it wasn't said how the mother died, though this one in particular is coming off from a personal taste.

  Overall, I genuinely enjoyed the first story!

  The second story talks about bargains and prices. While I liked the whole premise of it and the price she had to pay in order to get... uh, what she wanted, I wasn't quite as hooked in as the first story did. More about the characters in the Character section.

  Anywho, the emotions and descriptions as the character goes about holding the knife in her hand and actively trying to look for who she could kill was really beautiful though. (And no, don't worry, I'm not a serial killer myself.) It really showed her struggles and how she was so conflicted with what she else she could do when she realizes that she basically can't find it in her to kill someone off.

  The second story just didn't have that feel to it. It was a mix of urban and there were supposedly people around, and the last scene with her and the little girl and the witch was just confusing because there wasn't even the slightest passing mention of an actual setting. It's as descriptive as snow on a desert.

  I just realized that this would've fit much better if discussed in the plot, but since the book is a compilation of short stories, I decided to just not include that particular section altogether.

Grammar: 4/5

  Not much to nitpick on, more on typos and some punctuation errors along the way. The grammar and execution of the sentence structures are nice, and there were very little things grammar-wise that made me pause and stop for a moment to ponder about what was wrong.

  First off would be:

  This is probably just me, but when displaying texts that are supposed to work as titles for books and names of shops in a novel, Almost all of the time, it's just there, or either italicized. The quotation marks on either side of it are unnecessary, since that clearly isn't dialogue.

  Then there's that last sentence just tagging along the paragraph. I think this is unnecessary and should either be removed altogether or separated in its own paragraph. Astra was already glancing at the shop. The moment and the phrasing would've been better if the reveal of the name of the shop, stayed as the final line, and not the fact that she's headed inside.

  It would already be obvious, anyway, since the shop is the one thing with the most number of details in the setting, so of course it would play a relevant part.

  Next up would be:

  Yeah, I think you get the idea. It's missing a comma, and the first half of this sentence just looks really off.

  First off, turning, in here, should be changed to turned, instead, so it'll end up looking like this:

  "Astra, startled, turned around to see..."

  It's smoother to read that way. Another way to spot comma splices would be to read your own work aloud. Your mind is already too used to what you've written so it automatically cancels out and adds in things when you read them in your head. However, when you're letting your mouth do it, it's much easier to spot the more grammatical errors such as where and when to pause. It's a great way to see if the character lines are cringy, too.

  Third thing to point out would be:

  This is one of those smaller scale nitpicks. I personally think starting a sentence with Of is incorrect because it marks it off as an incomplete sentence. Even more so than the And and the But. Also it's just an unnecessary clutch word.

  Her mother's death, alone would've made just as impactful sentence as it is without that, if not more so.

  Separating that particular paragraph would be good, too. It gives off more of an impact than with lumping it with the paragraph that doesn't carry the same weight. You can gather up the ones that are used for buildup in one paragraph, but you separate them as soon as it hits.

  Also, it looks good like this. Gives the eyes a moment to breathe.

  The last one I would like to point out would be this one:

  Yeah... I believe this should've been 'concoctions,' instead?

  Anywho, that's mostly it for the grammar misses in the story. Some of it was around in the second part, though I didn't want to look like a repetitive person so I left it alone.

Characterization: 3.5/5

  I have very little nitpicks about the characters in the story. They were short and sufficient, and we were able to get to know their train of thoughts very well for a short story. There wasn't much time wasted and we jumped right into it, which is great!

  Astra is no doubt my favorite, along with her story, if I had to share which one stole my imagination the most. It was just so vivid, and seeing through her eyes and walking along with her was a smooth transition from the worldbuilding.

   Now, back to the second story, which is apparently a very... loose... retelling of the little mermaid?

  Her wish, which was to have everything, wasn't quite so elaborated on. Wealth, power, influence, love? I was hoping it one thing or the other would be shown to us more even as she wasn't able to speak or even as she was actively looking for someone to kill. It just... it just seems shallow.

  The description of the Corner Witch seemed a little too rushed, and while she wasn't as explained in the story and how she seems to just exist amongst the cityscapes, my opinion on her would have to be that there wasn't much substance to her in order to draw out the emotions needed in order for us to feel for her as well.

  In the end, our second main character dies, and while this seems to serve as an important lesson just as much as it serves to show how you're not to be greedy, I found it slightly disconnecting because of the said fact that there wasn't much to this. It had a fairly dark ending despite the whole sympathy thing, though that was it. It had a mythical feel to it, but without much to ground us in I just sort of felt like I was back to where I started, curious, and not all that satisfied.

  I mean... she turned into an inanimate object... what more could be there to explore. It's just that... there wasn't really any payoff in the end of it despite all the buildup of the price she has to pay for... uhh, everything, I guess?

  And that's what made the latter half of the entire thing dull.

Plot: — no score —

  Yeah... I think this is self-explanatory.

Realism: 5/5

  For the most part, even in the fantastical setting, there wasn't much to set eyes on about factors on realism. Everything was new, yet somehow seemed nostalgic at the same time. I guess magic just has that effect.

Total Score: 25.5/30

  Hello, Pai here! Thank you for requesting this review, I enjoyed the story and had fun reading it (until I realized it was already deadline and had to rush things through).

  This was a relatively short read, and therefore the review was fairly short as well. Good luck with the rest of your story-writing endeavors, and keep writing!

Total Word Count: 1697

  And to whoever is wondering... yes, I did skip a number.