Chapter 35: Date

"I love you! And it hurts that as time goes on, I am starting to realize that you've made this to yourself— that the love I felt from you was forced . . . it kills me that you look at me with those eyes filled with fear, you were trembling beneath my touch . . . and I can't do anything. I can't let go yet, love . . . please."

His green eyes mellowed as he looked at me and mentioned the word love.

I tried to open my mouth, but I closed it again. I took a step back and then Tobias looked away. I couldn't muster myself to utter a single word because every time that I tried to speak to him, every time that we were alone— it wasn't just the tension between us, the awkwardness, and even the invisible gap pushing between us, but the fear that I'd tell him something that I shouldn't have.

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na kalalim ang pinagsamahan namin ni Tobias at kung dapat ba akong maniwala sa lahat ng naririnig ko sa mga nilalang na nasa paligid ko, ngunit kung totoo ang sinasabi ni Rosh at ngayon ni Tobias, isang katanungan lang ang umiikot sa isip ko.

Bakit? Bakit pinili kong maging si Tobias ay kalimutan ko?

"T-two months, yes . . ."

Mariin siyang pumikit bago huminga nang malalim. Tumanaw siya sa palasyo na tila magagawa niyon tawagan ang kahit sino para palitan siya.

"I'll call Rosh to accompany you."

Nang tumalikod na si Tobias, hindi ko na napansin ang sarili ko nang humakbang na ako at hawakan ang kasuotan niya. "No . . ."

Tumingin siya roon sa kamay ko na nakahawak sa mahaba niyang kasuotan, yumuko ako at ibinaba ko ang aking kamay.

"I think you're more comfortable with him. You're afraid of me."

I gulped, tilted my head up, and looked straight at his face. I'd not deny that I happened to feel sacred about him, but it was more of an awkwardness between us. Paano ko pakikiharapan ang lalaking sinasabing mahal ako? That I was his wife, and I was a victim of a curse. Na nagmamahalan kami ngunit hindi ko maalala?

My first instinct was to protect and distance myself because I realized that someone wanted to hurt me which caused me to forget everything. Dapat ba akong agad magtiwala? At kung tama naman ang sinabi sa akin ni Rosh, at ngayon ni Tobias, hindi ba dapat akong higit na maging maingat? Because why would I choose to forget the love of my life?

"I am just trying to protect myself."

"F-from whom? Me—" muling umiling si Tobias. "I'll call Rosh."

Mas dumiin ang kamay ko sa kasuotan niya. "You are my husband, right? Are you comfortable that your sick wife is always with your brother?"

"If you feel safer with him, then yes."

"I want to look around," pagbabago ko ng usapan.

Now that the priestesses helped me to regain my strength again, maybe a little bit of walking outside the castle might help me to remember again. "Siguro naman ay marami akong maaalala sa labas ng palasyo. Maybe we spent more of our time together here?"

Buong akala ko ay isa iyong magandang ideya, ngunit nakita ko sa reaksyon ni Tobias na tila hindi iyon maganda. "We never had an experience outside the palace. Now I regretted it."

"Oh . . ."

Nagsimula na akong muling maglakad. Bumuntonghininga muli si Tobias, tumanaw saglit sa palasyo bago sumabay sa aking paglalakad.

Tobias kept our distance again. He clasped both of his hands behind his back as if he were restraining himself to touch me while he was watching me.

"Kung ganoon ay saan ako madalas naroon?"

"Inside our room."

Natigil ako sa paglalakad, saglit na tumawa, tumiwid sa aking pagkakatindig at napakamot sa aking pisngi. Ramdam ko ang biglang paghataw ng dibdib ko. "We clearly did the deed?"

He blinked. "What?"

"I mean we really had sex?"

When I first opened my eyes, it was my initial reaction— that I had sex with a stranger. Nalasing ako, hinaluan ng gamot ang iniinom ko o kaya'y naturukan ako ng droga. It wasn't really surprising given the world that I grew up with. Ano ba ang unang iisipin ng babae kapag nagising na iba na ang kasuotan sa kama ng hindi kilalang kuwarto?

His brows creased. "We made love, Kezalli."

"Oh . . ."

"Are we married? Legally? Did we have a wedding?"

Natigil sa paglalakad si Tobias at hindi agad siya nakasagot. That was his answer. We were never married, but he kept telling me that I was his wife.

"I am planning to have a wedding with you right after our mission, but this happened . . ."

"So, technically I am not yet your wife. Just a live-in partner?"

"What? You are my wife. You are my queen. You are my mate. You are my other half. Wedding is just a formality but it's already my plan to give it to you."

I bit my lower lip, looked forward, and took a deep breath. "It's just that everything is so unrealistic. This world, my relationship with you, how did this happen to me, and this feeling of constant doubt and fear . . ."

"I can understand."

Nagpatuloy kami sa paglalakad ni Tobias hanggang sa makaramdam ako ng pagyanig ng lupa. At first, we were experiencing an earthquake, but when I glanced at Tobias, he didn't even seem surprised.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"It's one of our castle's movements."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "What?"

Nang muntik na akong matumba ay akma na sana akong hahawakan ni Tobias, ngunit tumigil siya nang nagawa ko naman pigilan ang sarili ko sa pagtumba. Muli siyang tumuwid sa kanyang pagkakatayo at muling pinagsalikop ang kanyang mga kamay sa likuran.

Tumanaw na siyang muli sa harapan ng palasyo.

Tumama sa aking mata iyong tagiliran ng ulo niya. Today was the longest time that I had an opportunity to look at him in details, hindi lang iyong berde niyang mga mata.

"You have a very unique hairstyle, Tobias. A king na medyo fuck boy pala," natatawang sabi ko.

This time, Tobias looked at me again, and he was the first one who had that kind of impression with that remark— as if he was happy to hear it. Hindi ba dapat mainis siya sa akin?

Tumaas ang sulok ng labi niya. "You cut my hair."

I gasped, covered my mouth, and looked at him incredulously. "I cut the hair of the king?!"

And then he smirked. "You've done more than cutting my hair, Queen. Come, look."

Kung kanina ay ako ang sinusundan ni Tobias, ngayon ay ako na ang sumusunod sa kanya. Wala pa rin tigil ang pagyanig ng lupa hanggang sa makarating na kami sa harap ng mataas na gate ng palasyo.

The palace knights guarding on the gate bowed at us. Tipid rin akong yumuko sa kanila bilang pagbati, sa ginawa kong iyon tila sila pa ang natakot at mas ibinaba nila ang kanilang ulo.

"It's fine, Kezalli."

Mas lumapit na kami ni Tobias sa gate at tumigil lang ako sa paglalakad nang tumigil siya. "Open the gates."

Nagmamadaling sumunod ang mga kawal sa sinabi ni Tobias. Nanatili kaming nakatayo roon habang unti-unti nang binubuksan ang matataas na gate ng palasyo. Bawat hakbang ni Tobias ay sumusunod ako kaya nang sandaling makatawid na kami sa gate ay muli na iyong isinarado ng mga kawal.

"Where are we going?"

"The Gazellians call it a date."

"Oh . . . date."

Wala sa sarili akong napalingon sa likuran ko, ngunit natulala na lang ako nang makita ang palasyo.

The castle no longer standing on the similar ground that we had just been, instead, we were left on a circular ground with a hole between it, but what was surprising was the position of the castle as if it was at the top of the highest waterfall I've ever seen in my whole life because the sides of the ground had flowing water around it.

Wala sa sarili akong napasilip sa ibaba, katulad ng palasyo ay ganoon din ang tinatapakan namin, may tubig din sa paligid nito ang siyang bumabagsak sa ilalim.

"Ang ganda . . . it's like a waterfall."

Tobias nodded.

"Ilan palapag ang talon na ito?"

"Four."

"C-can we visit each ground?"

He nodded.

"Paano tayo bababa?"

"We can use my power."

I saw how he hesitantly offered his hand. Tumitig lang ako roon at nang handa na si Tobias bawiin iyon ay agad ko nang hinawakan ang kamay niya. I knew that Tobias was trying to put an effort and be careful at the same time.

"We'll have to get down and holding hands will not be enough, Kezalli. I know that you're not comfortable with my touch, maybe I'll call a Hontza."

"Hontza?"

"It's a huge bird for transportation."

Napangiwi ako. "I am an adventurer, but I think my body's still—" I was cut off.

Tobias frustratingly pinched the bridge of his nose. "I am sorry. I forgot—"

"Ano ba ang kailangan? Kung hindi lang paghawak sa kamay?"

"This," Tobias bent a little, and his left arm was about to loop around my waist, but he stopped midway. Suddenly, I forgot about the distance between us, our eyes met, and in that instant, I felt as if I could hear every breath, he took mingling with mine.

He was waiting for me to push him— to stop him, but this time, with my trembling legs, I took the courage to step closer, giving him an invitation to touch me.

Nang maramdaman ko na ang braso ni Tobias sa baywang ko, walang nakagalaw agad sa amin, walang nagsalita, at ang tanging naramdaman ko matapos ang ilang segundo ay ang magaang paglapat ng labi niya sa ibabaw ng ulo ko. "You smell so good, love . . ."

"H-hindi ko natatandaan na naligo ako . . ." nakangiwing sabi ko.

This time, he laughed.

"Let's go."

Akala ko ay hapit lang sa baywang ang gagawin ni Tobias nang bigla niya akong buhatin at nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang nagsimula siyang tumakbo kasabay nang bigla kong pagsigaw at pagtalon niya.

"Oh my goodness!"

Napayakap na ako sa leeg niya kasabay nang pagbagsak namin, ngunit ang inaasahan kong patuloy na pagbulusok sa mataas na talon ay napalitan nang unti-unting pagbagsak. "Open your eyes, Kezalli."

At nang unti-unti kong binuksan ang mga mata ko, kasalukuyan nang nababalot ang kalahati ng katawan ni Tobias ng tubig. He was still careful not touch my body with his power.

"I never showed you the beauty of Parsua Deltora before. Our kingdom is the most beautiful among the kingdoms of Parsua— or even this world, Kezalli. We have the land of music, arts, and beauty."

Bahagya kaming lumayo ni Tobias sa talon at nang higit kaming nakalayo, mas nabigyan ako ng pagkakataon makita ang kabuuan ng pinakamataas at malaking taon na nasaksihan ko.

"Napakaganda . . ." humahangang sabi ko.

The castle was on top of the highest waterfall I'd ever seen in my whole life, its colors were a mixture of greens, white, blue, and green as it shone brightly with the sunlight, floating serenely in water with waterfalls flowing down its sides, the wind blew with the white birds, singing gracefully and flying around in motion. The second ground was housed by the palace knights, warriors, and weaponry. Flowing down the third ground there were elegant infrastructures, grand libraries, museums, and shops, and the fourth ground was a huge garden filled with different kinds of blooming flowers.

"Ang ganda . . ."

"It's not just that, Kezalli," sabi ni Tobias bago kami tumalikod sa mataas na talon at nang higit ko iyong pagmasdan higit akong napahanga.

We were like in a floating city, filled with floating houses, flowers, creatures with masks and flowers, and small boats with decorations.

"Ang daming kulay . . ." nasabi ko na lang. Ibang-iba sa mundong pinanggalingan ko.

My life has been moving in a color of gray and red, but right now Tobias— a stranger in my touch was showing me colors that I'd never seen in my life.

Would anyone blame me? Despite every kindness, beauty in this place, and the warmth of his whispers was fear behind my heart . . .

"Saan mo gusto magtungo?"

"There!"

Itinuro ko iyong ikatlong palapag. Tumango sa akin si Tobias at hinayaan ko siyang dalhin kami roon gamit ang tubig na nakapulupot sa kanya. At nang tuluyan na kaming makarating sa lupa ay ibinaba na niya na rin ako.

"Let's go."

Hindi na ako muli hinawakan ni Tobias at nauna na siyang maglakad sa akin, nakarating kami sa harapan ng tindahan ng mga maskara.

The door chimed because of the small bell hanging on it as Tobias pushed it. Halos himatayin ang babaeng tindera nang makilala ang bagong pasok sa kanyang tindahan.

"K-King Tobias!"

"Give us our masks."

The woman gave us fancy looking masks, naunang magsuot si Tobias na puting maskara ng kuneho at sa gilid na pinta nito ay tila mga halamang ugat. Habang ang ibinigay naman niya sa akin maskara ng mga diwata dahil sa kulay berde nito na napapalamutian ng kumikinang na alikabok.

"Let's go."

Inilahad ni Tobias ang kamay niya sa akin, sa halip na tumitig doon ay dahan-dahan ko nang tinanggap iyon. We left the mask store with a green gem he left on the table.

The door chimed, our hands clasped together, but at the side of my eyes was a creature wearing a brown cloak who just entered a nearby bookstore. I stopped walking, Tobias looked over his shoulder. "Kezalli?"

I shook my head. "This is my first time to date someone."

He smiled. "Me too."