Chapter 27

My body stiffened like my feet stuck on a mud and I can't move my feet. Ang bilis ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Akala ko ay namamalikmata lamang ako pero hindi. He's here and showed up in my house.

And he looked different from the time I've left Japan. Napatitig na lamang ako sa mukha niya. Ang linis ng mukha niya dahil bagong gupit ang kanyang buhok. Nangungusap ang kanyang mga mata na halos isang buwan ko ring hindi nakita. Ang katawan niya ay nag-iba kumpara noong huli ko siyang makita. Halos pumutok na ang butok ng polo sa kanyang dibdib dahil sa hapit na hapit na ito.

Even though I wanted to be the one who come at him and give him a hug. He was the one who walked towards me. Inalis niya ang kamay sa loob ng bulsa at nang malakapit sa akin ay kanyang inangat ang kamay at inabot ang pisngi ko.

Our lips touched. Agad niya rin iyong binawi at pinalitan ng mahigpit na yakap. I rested me head on his head while his hands are on my head and one on my back. It was warm. It was something I've been longing for pero bigla rin akong napalayo sa kanya nang ma-realize ko ang nangyayari sa amin ngayon.

Napauwang naman ang bibig ko habang tinitigan ko ng mariin ang mukha niya.

"W-What's wrong, Lav?"

Napalunok naman ako ng laway. Parang biglang may batong humarang sa lalamunan ko. Should I shout Darna para naman magbago ang nararamdaman ko ngayon?

This is overwhelming. This is so unexpected.

Nakaramdam naman ako bigla ng pagtaas ng sikmura. Tinakpan ko naman ang bibig ko.

"Excuse me," aniko sabay iwas ng tingin sa kanya.

Umalis ako sa harapan niya at tumakbo ako papuntang powder room. Lumuhod ako sa harap ng bowl at naduwal na lamang ako. Mga ilang minuto ko ring pinalagayan ang sikmura ko hangga't sa pakiramdam ko ay maayos-ayos na ang pakiramdam ko. Tumayo ako at tumungo sa sink para maghugas ng kamay at magmumog. Then I looked at myself.

Para akong sabog na ewan. Walang suklay suklay ang buhok ko. Sinalok ko ang kamay ko sa umaagos na tubig mula sa faucet at sinaboy koi to sa mukha ko. I grabbed some paper towel at marahan kong pinunasan ang mukha ko. Kinuha ko rin ang brush mula sa shelf sa tabi at sinuklay ko ang buhok.

And why in the world nag-aayos ako? Just because Trent's here at nakuha ko nang mag-ayos sa sarili ko?

Bago ako lumabas ng pinto ay napahugot pa ako ng malalim na hininga. Kailangan na kailangan ko ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang taong iniwan ko na lang nang basta basta noon. Walang pasabi. Walang paliwanag o kung ano man. Ngayon ay nagi-guilty akong harapin siya.

Pero ang tanong ay paano niya nalaman na rito ako nakatira?

At masasagot ko lamang ang tanong na 'yon kung haharapin ko siya.

Inabot ko ang doorknob at hinatak ang pinto para tuluyan akong makalabas. Ngunit bumungad naman sa akin si Trent pagbukas ko pa lamang ng pinto. He looked so worried. Hinuhuli nito ang mga mata ko pero pilit kong iniiwas na makipagtitigan sa kanya. Pansin ko rin ang pag-igtring ng panga niya.

Ano kayang nararamdaman niya ngayon? Would he tell me na ang laking problema ang dinulot ng pag-alis ko ng walang paalam? Maybe he would pressed it to my face after a month-long away from each other.

"Are you okay?" he asked, I can still sense the worry and fear—not sure in his tone.

I nodded. "Yes. I'm good."

"Are you pregnant?"

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya. Nanlaki rin ang mata ko kasi hindi ko inaasahan na maririnig yon sa kanya.

Agad akong umiling bilang depensa sa kanyang akusasyon. "No. Hindi ako pregnant. Pa'no mo naman nasabi 'yan?"

"You just puke," he responded.

Napatango na lamang ako sa sinabi niya. "No, it wasn't like that. I'm not pregnant and I'm not in a relationship with anyone right now so imposible 'yon." Nang ma-realize ko na sunod sundo na naman ako magsalita at unti-unting nagiging komportable. But I need to hold back. I don't wanna hurt myself. I also don't want to hurt him. "I'm sorry. I was just feeling a lot of thing when I saw you. I didn't expect it. It just made me feel so nauseous."

"Alright," he said, taking a deep breath. "Was it wrong to be here? Should I leave now? If I made you sick, I think it's better for me to leave. I'm sorry... Lav." And he was about to turn his back from me when I held his hand to stop him from leaving.

"You don't make me feel sick," paliwanag ko. He looked at me. A kind of hope lingered in his face. "Please don't leave."

"I won't if you say so," aniya at muli niya akong hinarap. Hindi ko pa rin ibinitaw ang kamay ko sa kanya.

Napalunok naman ako ng laway. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko susundan ang magiging usapan naming dalawa. Hinatak ko na lamang siya pabalik sa living room at doon kami nag-settle. Kahit hindi ako gano'n kakomportable ay hindi ko ipinakita kay Trent iyon.

Our staff asked if we wanted some drink or food to eat. I just told them to bring some juice or water then some biscuits and candies. Saglit lang din naman ay bumalik sila pero hindi ko rin naman nagalaw.

"What happened, Lav?" he asked. Mula sa pagkakayuko ay iniangat ko ang tingin ko sa kanya. Muli ay nagtama ang mata namin. Those eyes who looked at me and made me feel special from anyone. Kung noon sinasabi kong hindi ko siya diserve and I do feel like na mas hindi ko deserve kung anong ginawa ko sa kanya. That's already out of line.

Finally, just to ease the tension, I grabbed the glass of water and drink some. Nanunuyo ang lalamunan ko. I don't feel fine at all. Maybe because I was just scared by the fact na magkaharap kaming dalawa ngayon.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked.

There was a long silence before Trent said something. "I was."

"How about now?"

"What about you?" he countered. "Are you mad at me?"

Umiling ako sa tanong niya. "I was never mad at you. I think I would never."

"I was mad," pag-uulit niya. "That was when you left me. Not even a word. Not a call. Or even a message."

"So you hate me now?"

"I did," he admitted. "But I do understand everything now."

My eyes squinted when he said that. Ako ang naguluhan sa kanya at hindi ko naintindihan kung bakit niya nabanggit 'yon.

"Paano?" taka kong tanong sa kanya.

Napangisi naman si Trent. "You were never in Japan to work for me, right?" he said, at napatango na lamang ako para kumpirmahin sa kanya. "Well, I had a guess but Sasa told me some things about you told to her. I hated your for leaving me alone that night and supposedly ever, but I also had to understand your situation so hating you shouldn't be my priority."

"I thought you would... that's why I'm scared of seeing you again."

He reached for my hand. "I can't hate you forever. You have to know that."

Napatango na lamang ako. It's like hearing his assurances na wala dapat akong ipag-alala made me feel okay pero hindi pa rin naman maalis sa saloobin kong malaking pagkakamali pa rin ang ginawa ko sa kanya noon.

"But I know what I did was unforgivable so I'll accept whatever may happen."

"I already forgave you. You just don't know that yet."

Napaanga ang bibig ko sa sinabi niya. "But I—"

"I don't think you have to explain more of yourself, Lav," aniya at mas lalo akong na-confuse.

Si Sasa na rin ang nagsabi na it's better if I explained myself to him at sa pagkakataong iyon ay maiintindihan niya kung bakit ako umalis. Just like what knew of my existence before we even met, gano'n din kaya si Trent?

"I—I... but why? Do you already know why? When did you find out?"

Napangisi naman ito at kanyang pinato ang pa sa kabilang binti nito.

"When you were still in Japan," he said. Hindi ako nabigla pero hindi ko rin naman inaasahan na sasabihin niya 'yon. "Tonton knew you before he even met you. He shared a few things that he knew from you, but I didn't believe him so I let it go until we went to Kobe where he said another things about you. I searched for you online and there I found out that you're not just a Mercondia. You are the Mercondia they were talking about."

"And why didn't you say a thing?"

"'Cause I don't wanna make you feel weird so I keep it to myself even know I already had the idea of who you really are. I respected you so I let it stay that way."

"I see. It made sense now," I muttered. "Pero paano mo nalaman na nandito ako? Paano ka biglang napadpad sa bahay namin? As far as I know, kasama iyon sa resume na binigay ko sa 'yo but I didn't put there my exact location so I'm wondering... paano mo ako natunton?"

"Someone told me."

"Fredrick?"

"Who was that?"

"Tonton?"

"No. He doesn't know where you live so why guessed it was him?"

I shrugged off. "Hula lang. Si Sasa ba?"

"She basically know who you are, but not where you live."

"If they're not who you were talking about? Sino naman?"

"You don't have any guess anymore?"

"You spied me? You hired private investigators? I mean, you can possibly do that anytime, anywhere so that must be it."

"You sure now?"

I nodded confidently.

"You're wrong," he smirked. "Do you wanna know it now?"

"Of course! Please, do tell," aniko.

"Your brother."

"Ha? Paano nangyari 'yon? Si Kuya Welbourne ba?"

"Melbourne?"

Umiling ako. "Not that the state in Australia. Wel. As in Welly."

"Oh, okay..." aniya. "But I do think he wasn't the one I met."

"Kuya Nico?"

"Zonico," Trent said. "I guess, he's that. Nico and Zonico's are the same person, right?"

I nodded to confirm it to him. "Yes... but how did you guys meet?"

"It was weird but he emailed my secretary from work and then he scheduled a meeting for me."

"He flew to Japan? Why didn't know that?"

"No. It didn't happen in Japan. When I figured out that it was your brother, I had to cancel all of my meetings and schedules last week and for this week. I was the one who flew here in Manila to meet with him. We talk before he flew to New Zealand to attend a wedding. That's how we meet and honestly, our conversation was stiffed and awkward."

"Kuya Nico always does that. Make everything so awkward."

"Good thing you were far more different than him," pagpuna nito sabay ngisi.

"So... anong pinag-usapan niyo?"

"He told me he was ashamed of how he treated you. That you felt caged from the way they cared for you. He was so disappointed of himself that he was the one who took your happiness away from you. I also told him you were so happy in Japan. It's like you were living your dream life. And you know, I don't mean to be rude he cried and I almost laughed because he's so ugly when he cried."

"I can attest that as well," tawa ko pa.

"He was just afraid that you'll end up like them or whatever he's talking about. I figured you know it. He was so sorry that he just wanted you to be happy and he thought seeing us back together would bring that joy to you."

"Do you really believe we can be together?"

"Don't you want that?"

"I didn't say I don't..."

"But you did before," he said. "You believed I didn't deserve you when you can't be sure of that so how can you say that yourself?"

I sighed. "Because... honestly... I don't want you to be part of my mess—my family's mess that's why I was so jealous when we're in Kobe together and seeing you with your family. You're a billionaire but you lived in Kobe as normal as you can be at iyon ang ginawa ko sa Japan. I left my life here because I was so done with what's happening."

"You could've told. I would probably understand it," he said.

"I wasn't ready to tell you anything about it."

"But you've told Sasa."

"She would understand..."

"And you don't think I won't?"

"No—" I defended pero napabuntong-hininga na lang din naman ako. "Hindi kasi gano'n kadali ang mag-open up lalo na't maraming nakakakilala sa pamilay ko at iiniwasan ko 'yon. I should've told you but it was all too late. I regret that I didn't because I would also say that you made me happy when I was in Tokyo. Ikaw ang dahilan kung bakit ako bumabangon araw araw. And it's not to do all my chores early, sige, isa na rin iyong dahilan but you're the reason why. If it wasn't for you, hindi siguro naging maganda ang pasok ng bagong taon ko sa akin."

"Would you go back to Japan with me?"

"To work for you?"

Umiling naman si Trent. "No. Be with me."

"Your girlfriend or your wife?"

"Eventually we'll get there but we'll take it one step at a time. If you're just ready..."

"I don't know..." I sighed. "At my age, I know I should be deciding for myself and not with what my family wanted me to do."

Tiningnan ko naman siya at napatitig na lang ako sa mukha niya. Bumalik lang din ako sa sarili ko nang matapon sa kamay ko ang juice na hawak ko. The staff immediately came to clean the area at umalis naman kami roon ni Trent. Nanatili naman kaming dalawa sa garden.

"So are you coming with me?"

I shrugged off. "I'll think about it. Kailan ka ba babalik ng Tokyo?"

"First week of March. That's next week."

Napatango na lamang ako. "I'll give you my answer next week then."

"So, do you have any other thing to do tonight?" he asked at umiling naman ako. "We're going out tonight, is that okay?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yes, of course... I'll be looking forward to it."

He then hold my hand. "I've missed holding you hand. Do you miss my sausage as well?"

Napadilat ang mata ko sa sinabi niya. "Stop, Trent. Don't make me leave you here alone."

"Again?"

"If you keep saying that I would."

He laughed and then he calmed down. Looking straight into my eyes. And with that, I didn't know what I was thinking but at this moment, my happiness seemingly came back when I saw him.

And I guess Trent is the new meaning for my happiness.

***

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know your thoughts! I would appreciate it so much!

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