Monday night

I gripped the wheel I sped across the road until the light immediately turned red. "Shit!" I stepped on the brake hard, I spotted the street camera on the telephone pole. I breathed out and rested my head on the wheel. Close one. I've been on the road for too long. My head was throbbing.

James was supposed to be awake by now. The doctor's news that there's a 30% chance he would wake up. To pile on more crap, my boss had sold the place to a corporate cash cow that's expanding in the area. "It's a huge payout to pay his debt," he had said and then lifted his arms up in a woo motion. Son of a bitch. We weren't getting paid.

I took out my phone, scrolling through the contacts quickly, Olivia's name was right there. I didn't reply back to her texts or calls. I still didn't even know where we stood. Add onto who I couldn't stop thinking about. Her face and voice has been an earworm, her lips imprinted on mine. I swerved into the oncoming road, I parked in the front.

I knocked on the door. Scruffing my hair as I waited for Pat to answer. Hearing the door unlock and open, in a black tank top and boxers, he rubbed his eyelids. "What's up, man? He asked, squinting and rubbing his eyes.

"You still have more of that pot?" I asked bluntly.

"It's too late for this shit, I'll see you in the morning," he grumpily said.

"I need it now." He sighed, shaking his head and gestured for me to come in. I entered and stood in the middle of his living room.

"I got Oxy." He shut the door, it slammed quickly.

"No Oxy." I removed my jacket, throwing it on his couch, "it's just weed I want." There was no way I was risking oxycontin in my system again.

"Salvia, not weed," he told me.

"Whatever the fuck it is. Give it to me."

"How much do you want?"

"Whatever you got," I shrugged.

"Jesus, I'll be right back." Pat headed into his room, disappearing through the hallway. I felt my phone vibrate, pulling it out of my pocket. Olivia's name was shown on my screen. I pressed the ignore button. Pat came around from his room, with a ziplock baggie in his hand and tied it up with a rubber band. Before handing it to me, he said, "it's not free, man."

I huffed. "How much?"

"30." I got my wallet out, slamming the bills in his palm. I thanked him as he handed me the baggie and sat on his couch.

"Any races this week?" I asked him, taking a pinch with my fingers, and sprinkled it on rolling paper.

"Ray wants a rematch," he said, sounding sleepy.

"Fuck him. Anyone else?"

"Some blonde frat boy from Delta." He took it from my hand, adding more. He rolled it up and brought out his lighter.

"I didn't know I was sharing."

"It's my shit. You came to my house, disturbing my sleep." He looked up to me, licking the end of it. The click of the lighter was music to my ears. He lit the end, taking two hits before passing it to me. I inhaled deeply, holding in the smoke to let it fill my chest. I'm risking so much for smoking this, but shit, I couldn't care less.

"Did you say Delta?" Didn't Olivia mention about a party?

"Wanna tell me what's up with you?" Pat asked as he took the joint from my index finger and thumb.

"Everything," I answered.

"Everything is not ok, I'm guessing?"

"Nah." The smoke hit my chest, making me cough.

"How's Olivia?"

"Olivia's all right." I coughed twice, clearing my throat. My vision blurred, my head was light and my body was feeling too calm. I stared at his blank TV and asked if he could turn it on. I heard three knocks. "Is someone at the door?" I sat up alert.

"No?" I could have sworn I heard knocking. It stopped. He frowned, holding back his laugh.

"What the hell is in this?"

"I already told you. It hits differently." That's the last thing I remembered before I passed out.

Tuesday Morning

How did I get home? I'm sitting in the same position. I stretched out the ache in my neck and stood up. Pat came out of the kitchen, holding a gigantic bowl and scooped cereal in his mouth. "Morning," he said with his mouth full.

"What the hell happened?" I asked in a groggy voice. I'm thirsty.

"You fell asleep while you were stoned," he said with his mouth full. I grumbled, walked past him, into his kitchen, grabbed a glass and turned on the tap. "You know you talk in your sleep?"

"I don't talk in my sleep," I said, gulping down the whole glass.

"Last night you did. More like babbling," he stated, nodding his head.

"What did I say?" I wondered, please tell me I didn't sound like a dumbass.

"For the record, I don't say I love you to a lot of dudes, but I care about you as a friend." He tried to hold in his chuckles behind his hand. "And you went on and on about Olivia."

"Fuck you. Wait, what?"

"Olivia. You like her?"

"I do," I admit. "And it will be a problem. What time is it?"

"8:44," he answered calmly, while looking at his phone.

"Shit, I'm late." I headed back to the living room, wearing my shoes and took my keys before leaving. Driving at a semi speed, I groaned silently, running my hand over my face as I saw the traffic. I hit the back of my head on the seat. The cars were moving faster, thank fuck. I made it inside with two minutes to spare and sat at the back of the room.

"Morning, class," the professor proclaimed as he entered. He placed his briefcase and coffee cup on the table. "Hopefully you all read the latest chapter, if you haven't we can still review before the quiz this Friday." He took off his black sweater and placed it around his chair. Wait, quiz? There's going to be a quiz? He didn't say that? I probably fell asleep. It's just one, anyway. Chemistry has been easy for me.

"Make sure your phones are on silent before we begin." The rest of the class I spaced out, I think the Salvia was still in my system. I felt sluggish. Fuck, my urine testing wasn't today, right?

***

My urine test wasn't today, thank fuck. It was enough for the week to get it out of my system. As I listened to Hank speaking to Pam, I laid my fist under my chin. I tuned in and out blinked slowly. I turned to Olivia, her eyes were on him taking in every word. She pulled her sleeves all the way to her knuckles. She still wouldn't look at me since I didn't text her back.

A boy raised his hand, he spoke on his take on Valentines day. Valentine's day was made up by corporations to sell merchandise that wouldn't sell on any day.

"I'm glad to hear all of your thoughts and opinions on it. Personally, I love this day! I think everyday should be treated as such." Everyone else nodded. The day was coming to an end. Pam dismissed us with another gratitude mission statement and quoted Gandhi.

"HI," Olivia said when she walked next to me.

"Hey," I said, she smiled as we exited the classroom. The feeling was coming back from my dream I had. My fingertips were numb, my head was tense.

She tugged my elbow and pulled me back. "Are we ok?" she asked with a confused look.

"We? Were a 'we' now?"

"You know what I mean. You're avoiding me. Was it because we kissed? Or my texting? Did I text you too much? I wanted to know how you feel." Her eyes became big and doleful, she licked her lips waiting for my answer. It wasn't because of her, it's me. Her kisses almost made me go too far, I didn't want to lose her like the other girls I slept with.

"No, no. It wasn't because of you. Or the kiss."

"Then what?" Olivia asked, biting her bottom lip, giving puppy dog eyes.

"I have shit to deal with."

"Like always?"

"Always." I shuffled my feet, scrapped my shoe on the sidewalk.

"I mean, if you need more space-"

"I have to go," I admitted in a rushed out tone and left the spot.

"Ok, bye." Her voice was in the distance when I walked away. Her voice sounded small and hurt. I couldn't look back. Picturing her face when I turned ran chills up my spine. I shouldn't care about her. She shouldn't care about me.