Chapter 14:

October

It's the first weekend of the month. I had to be here. Every first month. I threw my bag over my shoulder when the bus halted in front of my brown and red house. It was good to be home, and only if it was just two days. I pulled out my keys from my purse, stepped off the bus. As I entered, the smell of fried chicken and jollof rice wafted in my nose. The coziness of home warmed me inside and out. I saw the same blue crayon stain on the wall near the foyer I drew fading away. I had to get used to it, being on my own for now. 

"Mom? Daddy?" I yelled out, mom appeared from the kitchen. She was wearing her stained red shirt and flowy black skirt. Her curly hair was in a ponytail and was holding a silver spoon smothered in the rice.

"I thought your dad was gonna pick you up," she stated confused, stepping toward me.

"I texted him that I was taking the shuttle bus." I took off my shoes and dropped them on the floor.

"You should have let him get you."

"I wanted to take the bus, it's fine." She shook her head with a sigh but smiled and walked closer with open arms. She pulled me into her chest for a tight hug, I met her halfway and wrapped mine around her shoulders. She smelled of her regular scent of peach body splash and a hint of pepper because she was cooking.

"Welcome home, sweetie," she said softly.

"Thanks, mom," I said and we let go. The front door opened and slammed shut, guess dad was back.

"I just finished cooking. Come eat."

"I had a big bag of chips and a turkey sandwich," I defended meekly and rubbed my tummy.

"Is that food? That's probably all you eat, huh? You lost too much weight. Come and eat real food!" I winced at her loud voice. I avoided saying anything else since arguing was unnecessary. I followed her to the kitchen. I felt my phone vibrate, I took a quick glance at the screen. It was an email attachment from Ms. Donavon. I looked up to her holding the plate of food.

I placed my phone back in my pocket. "Sorry. Thank you." I smiled.The plate was full of rice and two pieces of chicken, it was too much for me to eat. I opened my mouth to protest the quantity.

"Make sure you finish it." She stated sternly before I could. I sighed while taking the plate and sat at the dining table. Mom refused to let food go to waste or any of us go hungry. Taking a big spoonful of the rice soft and flavorful, heavy footsteps came as dad entered the kitchen. He planted a kiss on my cheek and ruffled my hair. I smiled and crinkle my nose. He approached mom and dropped a plastic bag of groceries on the kitchen counter.

"Hi honey," dad said to mom, his tall frame matched hers. She was turned off the stove and kissed him on the lips.

"Did you buy the potatoes?" she asked, heading to the sink and turned on the faucet.

"Yes." He handed her the bag and she took it. I bit into the moist chicken and chewed slowly.

"How's school, baby?" Dad asked sitting across from me with a plate of food in front of him.

"Good," I answered simply.

"Are the therapy sessions going well?"

"Mmmhmm."

"Taking your medication?"

"The doctor is prescribing me with something else." I hated the side effects of the Gabapentin. It helped with my nerves, I couldn't sleep, I had these throbbing headaches, and heart palpitations. I threw it in the trash before I told my doctor about it. I think he might prescribe me with something else.

"Why?"

"The last one weren't working for me. It didn't help."

"Okay." Good thing he didn't push for more questions. "Is your roommate nice? She's not pressuring you into anything?" Dad questioned, wiping his fingers with his napkin.

"She's sweet. And no," I answered with a smile.

"Any other friends?" mom asked, taking a bite of her chicken wing.

"Yeah I met a few. We even exchanged numbers."

"Boys?" Dad asked.

"What about them?"

"Are any of your friends boys?"

"Yeah," I answered with a shrug. "We met at group."

Mom and dad have a rule to focus on school not boys, they did say to have fun but not too much fun. Meaning not to come home pregnant. It was for me and my sisters. He didn't question me anymore, I saw his nostrils flare. He grunted, shaking his head.

I was almost done with my food. I ate the last bite and took my plate to the sink. I washed them clean. My phone vibrated again, reaching into my pocket to check. It's only from Penny. It was a Gif Spongebob making a funny face. I already told Penny I was coming home for the weekend, she said that she will miss me. I had a feeling she's loving the alone time with Isaac. 

I chuckled, texting back with a hearts gif. She then reminded me of the Halloween party next week when I came back. I loved Halloween because of the free candy, not the pranks. We didn't celebrate it as much at home, me and my sisters went trick or treating twice until our parents said it wasn't safe in our neighborhood. They were watching late night news about kidnappings and stranger danger.

Both dad and mom placed their dishes in the sink, I washed them too. Drying my hands with the hand towel, I announced that I was going up to my room. I felt familiar again, getting all in my surroundings. I opened the door. Mom moved my bed to the window. It used to be near the wall. They took my posters and pictures down. The paint was still the same white as it chipped. I sat on the edge, taking in all the space. If it were up to mom and dad, they would have let me stay home and commute to school. I wanted to go; I wanted to see if I could do it. Maybe I could, maybe I couldn't. It's only been a month. I could do seven more. Hopefully. Possibly. I got my bag, pulled out my laptop and opened my Spotify app for my playlist. I had a few assignments due before Monday. The music helped me from any distractions. After I finished, I brought out the journal, flipping through the empty pages. I wrote my name on the back of the front cover, wrote the date on the first page. The first line came: I miss my uncle. I closed my shut, pressing the ink on my page. Don't cry, don't cry. I blinked again, swallowed hard, and began writing all of my feelings down. I felt a bit lighter.