Harry's POV

Crap.

I was hoping she'd forgotten so that I could tell her about it under a different context along with all the 'for' reasons I had to go to back it up.

Damn Gemma and her drunk mouth.

"I did," I finally answer when she prods me again for a response, suddenly feeling very ashamed of my actions.

I feel her pull away from me which I know is not good.

Not good at all.

She sits up and looks at me and before I can even register, I'm on my knees desperately reaching for her hands, only for her to pull them from my grasp as she gingerly climbs out of the bed and steadies herself.

I watch her with bated breath as she walks over to the window and looks out, still not saying anything.

I don't know whether to say anything or just wait.

Will me talking first make her angry?

Will me waiting for her to talk make her angrier?

Shit, shit, shit.

"Beth..." I finally decide I can't take the silence anymore and I decide to try and get her to talk.

I mean, how much worse could it get?

"Just..." she waves her hand at me to stop talking.

Okay then.

I know I'm trying to get her not to bottle up her feelings and talk to me when things go wrong, but even I can see that I just have to wait this time and let her speak first when she's ready.

So I sit on the edge of the bed and wait.

She shakes her head and I can see she's having an internal conversation with herself and I wish she'd have the conversation with me instead.

But I sit and wait.

Beth sighs heavily and slowly turns around to face me and the glare on her face has me swallowing nervously.

"Why?" she finally asks, "no, what gives you the right to even go behind my back like that?"

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

"I wasn't going behind your back-" I try to tell her, but she cuts me off.

"Well you weren't upfront with me about it so yes, you did go behind my back!" she snaps back, "I can't believe you!" she says as she starts to walk back and forth in front of me.

"If you'll just let me explain-" I start.

"What would you do if I had done this?" she retorts, "what if I had gone to your management and asked things about you?"

"I probably wouldn't mind," I shrug my shoulders even though I realise she has a point.

She just looks at me, saying nothing.

"Okay, maybe a little bit cause I'd expect you to come to me..." I finally admit, knowing she's right because I realise I was caught up in the excitement of it all and not really thinking of how she'd react.

"What happened to always being honest Harry?" she suddenly says, "what happened to that promise we made?"

I know.

My head shoots up to meet her gaze and I feel like a schoolboy at the principal's office awaiting punishment.

Unfortunately, a simple after school detention is not going to help me out here.

Fuck I'm so stupid!

I can't help it, my eyes start to well up, so I hang my head, wiping my nose with the back of my hand, hoping she doesn't notice.

"I just..." I finally whisper, trying to sound normal, "I just don't want you to go..."

Christ, how pathetic do I sound?

"But you know I have to Harry, we've been through this..." she says, and I feel like she's talking to a child.

Just because I know it doesn't mean I have to like it and that I can't try my best to stop it.

"I know, I know," I run my hand through my hair in annoyance before looking up at her, "but I want you to come back...sort everything out at home and then come back."

I expect her to agree but she just looks at me and shakes her head.

Then it hits me.

Maybe we're not on the same page as I thought we were.

Maybe I'm trying to make something work that just isn't going to no matter how much I want it to.

Because we both have to want it.

I look down and sigh, realisation flooding through me when I suddenly hear her gasp a little.

Looking back up at her, she's staring back at me but her breathing's becoming rapid and she's wide-eyed with what I think is panic.

She's going to have a panic attack again.

I stand up and slowly walk over to her, not wanting to startle her, and when I reach her I hold her gently by the arms, hoping to calm her down.

"I'm sorry," I say, "I wasn't trying to deceive you, or lie, I just...just wanted to make it easier for you, show you that you have options..."

She continues to stare at me, so I decide to lay it all out there.

"I love you...all of you," I sigh, "I just love you and I want you to stay."

She continues to stare at me and again I can see her waging an internal battle with herself.

What if she's trying to think of a way to let me down gently?

"Please say something," my voice finally cracks, "you're starting to scare me."

"Irrevocably," she whispers.

I'm...what?

I don't understand.

I frown in confusion and shake my head slowly.

"I...I don't follow," I reply.

"I told your mother last night when she asked me," she suddenly says.

What the hell did my mum say to her?

"What...what did she ask you?" I'm almost afraid to know.

"She asked me if I loved you," she says.

I inhale sharply, not expecting that.

Actually, I don't know what I was expecting to hear.

Beth just stares at me and I don't want to sound needy and ask her if she loves me even though I want her to tell me so.

But what if she's changed her mind and she doesn't anymore?

"I love you," she suddenly blurts out, "that's what I told her, I love you...irrevocably..." she trails off.

She loves me.

She really does fucking love me and she's not hiding behind anything, no excuses.

I just continue to stare at her, letting her words swaddle me like a warm woollen coat on a cold winter day.

"I really love you Harry," she continues, "more than I've let on and more than I've wanted to admit because I'm just plain scared...I'm terrified actually."

So am I.

But we can do this, I know we can.

Ever since I met her...I just...

She's just it for me.

"Really?" I let my breath out that I've been holding in.

I wonder if I can get her to say that again?

"I'm still angry with you though for going behind my back," she points her finger at me, "but yes, I do."

Okay, maybe not right now.

Actually...

Oh good idea Harold.

She goes to speak again but I ask her to wait before I run over to my side of the bed and pull out one of the blank vouchers she gave me for Christmas.

Genius Harold, genius.

I go back over to Beth and hold it out to her, hoping she'll see the humour in it as well as being truly sorry for what I've done.

She takes it from me, almost shyly before reading it.

I watch as a small smile plays on her lips before she looks up at me and gives me her signature eye roll that I've come to love before she suddenly throws her arms around my neck and snuggles her face into my bare chest.

"Don't ever do that again," she says quietly.

"I won't, I promise," I reply, knowing I'm probably close to using up all my chances with her.

"I mean it Harry, don't..." she repeats for before sighing loudly.

"Come on, come back to bed and rest," I suggest as she sounds tired and without waiting for her to reply, I walk backwards holding onto her until we reach the bed and I lay her down gently before resting my body next to hers.

We lay there together in silence and I know I should just be grateful she's still here right now but part of me is of course dying to know what her actual response is to the email.

Will it help her to stay here with me?

My heart is beating so hard I feel like it's going to pop right out of my chest, but I decide I may as well bite the bullet and ask her.

She's already pissed at me; how much worse could I possibly make it?

Well...

"So," I decide to go ahead and ask her.

"So?" she repeats my own question to me.

"So, now that you know you can work here, if you choose to," I hastily add, "what are your thoughts?"

She's silent for a minute before she finally replies.

"Whatever I think, this is something that I need to discuss with the kids," she says, "you're also asking them to uproot their lives to come and live here too..."

"Of course," I reply, knowing it would be a massive ask, "and if they say they want to?"

Again, she doesn't answer, and I can see the wheels turning in her head and her eyes taking on that panicked look again.

I recognise it now that she's scared.

I hold both sides of her face within my hands like she is the most precious thing in the world to me, my own face inches from hers.

"Put aside your fear," I whisper, "what are you left with?"

"Are we crazy?" she suddenly asks, "is what we're thinking of doing so bloody crazy Harry?"

It is.

But I've never felt something so right in my whole entire life and that it seems to seep right through to my very bones.

And I know that I am so in love with her.

"Love makes people do crazy things," I reply, "but love also makes you want to do absolutely anything for that person as well, they become your whole world...you," I whisper as I kiss her cheek, "are my whole world," I smile before I kiss her on her lips.

"You're playing dirty," she replies, a smile playing on her lips as she pulls away from me, "playing on my emotions."

"So it's working?" I grin.

Please say yes, please say yes.

"Possibly," she gives me a bigger smile before moving closer and snuggling in to me, "quite possibly," she yawns as her warm breath begins to even out into a slow and steady rhythm against my chest.

I lay there and hold her, occasionally kissing her forehead or nuzzling her hair with my nose as she sleeps, and I realise that I want this most of all.

To have her in my arms.

Always.

~~~~~~

I wake before Beth does, finding her still sound asleep, her arm wrapped around my waist and her legs tangled with mine.

I debate whether to wake her or not when my phone starts to vibrate from my bedside table.

I quickly snatch it up to see that it's Jeff and I answer it, so it doesn't wake her.

"Hang on," I whisper as I slip out of bed and make my way down to the kitchen, perching myself on one of the stools before replacing the phone to my ear again, "how are you?"

We launch into an easy conversation, catching up on what we've both been doing and how our families are.  He asks how my birthday dinner went and I relay some of the funnier moments of the night and leave out some of the things that might, no, will definitely embarrass Beth.

It's a need to know basis and he doesn't need to know.

"So are you able to come to LA in the next couple of days?" he asks, "there's a few things we need to go through..."

"I would say it's more likely to be next week sometime," I reply, wanting to spend a few more days with Beth before I jet off and leave her.

"A week?" he replies, "are you sure you can't come any earlier?"

"I could," I tell him, "I'm just choosing not to."

"Harry..." Jeff trails off just as I see Beth tiptoe into the kitchen wearing one of my hoodies that swamps her small frame and it makes me smile.

"Next week should be fine," I cut him off, not ready to have my mind changed, "I'll just double-check but-"

"Man I've never seen you quite like this," he muses, "you've always been ready to pack up and go at moment's notice-"

"Well I have another person to consider now, that's why," I cut him off as I watch my hoodie slide up revealing the back of her thighs as she searches though the cupboard.

"So you're really serious about her?" he says, "I didn't know it had reached that kind of level."

"Well now you know," I reply with a smile.

"How serious is it Harry?" he asks, "official girlfriend status?"

I smile at the label.

"Yes, it's very official," I reply.

He chuckles at my response.

"You may want to think about how we handle that then with your fans," he reminds me, "some of them are pretty happy for you, around thirty percent from what I'm told."

"Do I want to know about the rest?" I sigh.

"Honestly? Around another thirty percent are dragging her through the mud, the usual decorum we've come to expect from those that dislike any female you're seen with."

"And the rest?" I wonder why I'm asking him.

"Are adamant you're with Louis," he sighs.

Of course.

"So when do I get to meet this lovely lady of yours?" he asks, "he she coming to LA with you?"

"She's not, but sometime soon," I reply, looking forward to Jeff meeting her, "anyway, I have to go, I'll confirm later though okay?"

"Sure thing Harry, talk to you soon," Jeff replies and we both say our goodbyes.

"How are you feeling?" I ask as I watch her begin to make some dinner.

"Flat, mortified and hungry," she replies.

Oh my poor girl.

"Well we've all been there love," I reply as I get up off the stool and walk over to where she is, "that was my manager Jeff on the phone, he wants me to fly over to LA next week..."

"Okay," she shrugs her shoulders, seemingly uninterested.

"Still don't want to come?" I ask, hoping she might change her mind.

"Not really," she replies, "you go do your thing and I'll be here waiting when you get back hey?"

I can see I'm losing the battle here and decide not to push the matter any further.

I'm sure there'll be other opportunities for her to travel with me.

Chloe suddenly appears out of nowhere as she runs into the kitchen, greeting Beth with a big hug and the exciting news that she's staying at mum's tomorrow night.

Beth's face flames with embarrassment at first as she apologises again for her behaviour from the night before, which I brush off as I know no one had a problem with it.

She looks at me curiously though after Chloe mentions the sleepover.

Well Harry's going to finally get his hanky panky that's what.

I roll my hips slowly so she gets the idea and the way her face blushes again tells me that she has.

The boys wander in and we all sit down to eat, chatting and joking about the night before, much to poor Beth's embarrassment again.

As we sit and talk, I gaze over at Beth and see she's no longer eating, but staring at her plate, a death grip on her fork.

Overthinking again.

"I don't know what's going on in your head but breathe," I whisper, "and ease up on your fork."

She gives me a small smile before clearing her throat.

"So, um, are you still enjoying our holiday here?" she asks the kids.

Where is she going with this?

"Well I kind of have a question for you," she continues as they all look at her, "what would you say if we were to move here permanently?"

Holy shit.

"You mean live here for good?" Nick asks.

Beth slowly nods in agreement.

"We wouldn't see our home, or school, or friends again?" he asks.

"Probably not," she replies, and I hold my breath, waiting.

"What about Rosie and the sheep?" Chloe asks.

"We would sell them sweetheart," she replies, "unless whoever buys the farm wants to keep them..."

"What about the rabbits and the dog?" Chloe's voice rises with panic.

"They can come here," I quickly say, not wanting to upset her.

"Do you want us to stay?" Nick suddenly turns his attention to me.

"Of course," I reply, "but you all have to want to, I can't force you to stay..."

"Can we talk about it first?" Nick says.

"Absolutely," Beth tells him.

"Okay," he says, "come on," he stands up and motions for Jamie and Chloe to follow him.

"What now?" Jamie says, "I'm still eating."

I stifle a laugh at how much this kid loves his food.
"Bring it with you," Nick rolls his eyes as he walks off to his bedroom, the other two following behind.

"I was not expecting that," Beth says as it's just the two of us now.

"Me neither," I reply, wondering what will come of the conversation and wishing I could be a fly on the wall, "me neither."

~~~~~~

Nick's POV

"So what do we want to do?" I ask.

Chloe says nothing, and Jamie just keeps on eating.

Typical.

"Harry makes mama happy," Chloe finally says.

We all nod in agreement.

"But leaving our home..." I trail off, "I don't want to leave my friends..."

"Me neither," Chloe agrees and again we fall into silence.

"Jamie?" I look at my brother, wondering what he thinks.

"As long as we can bring the dog, I don't care," he says, "we wouldn't have to work on the farm anymore."

He does have a point.

I hate helping out with the sheep and fixing everything.

"Remember that mum says it's not actually our house though," Jamie suddenly says, "she always said it was where her and Dad would live forever and that we'd all leave and buy our own house anyway..."

This is true.

"Mum only moved there because it's what Dad wanted," I say, "she just said as long as she had Wi-Fi she was happy."

We sit in silence again.

"So we don't care if we don't live on the farm anymore?" I ask the other two.

"Nope," Jamie says.

"Not really," Chloe says, "but what would we do with all our farm animals?"

"We'd sell the sheep," I tell her, "I think we'd be able to bring all the other ones though, Harry said so."

"But can we really leave our school and our friends?" Chloe says, "I don't want to leave them."

"I don't either," I agree.

Jamie just hums in agreement.

We just look at one another, not knowing what else to say.