Beth's POV

Harry's mouth freezes, his lips on my shoulder when I ask the question before he slowly pulls away and rests his forehead where his mouth was just touching, letting out a sigh.

I had hoped it was some stupid figment of my imagination or that Gemma was just that drunk and happy when she yelled it into my ear.

Seems like it was neither.

"Harry?" my voice is muffled because of how he is leaning on me and I feel him sigh again.

He pulls back, his face serious as he bites his bottom lip, his gaze finally meeting mine.

"I did," he replies, his voice barely above a whisper.

If I was in a more coherent state I'm sure I'd be yelling at him right now, but I don't think my body or my head could take it.

I slowly extract myself from him and pull myself up so I'm sitting up in the bed so I can look at him properly.

Harry scrambles up onto his knees, panic on his face as he reaches for my hands, but I pull them out of his grasp, instead opting to throw the covers back and gingerly climbing out of bed.

Satisfied that I'm capable of standing and not falling over or needing to throw up again, I start to walk towards the window, my hands running themselves though my hair as I look out.

"Beth..." Harry's voice is strained from behind me.

"Just..." I wave my hand for him to stop.

I can't believe he went behind my back...he had no right.

I look down below and watch the people as they walk on by, going about their business.

Slowly, I turn around and look at Harry, who is now sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Why?" I finally ask, "no, what gives you the right to even go behind my back like that?"

"I wasn't going behind your back-" he starts.

"Well you weren't upfront with me about it so yes, you did go behind my back!" I cut him off, "I can't believe you!" I start to pace around his bedroom.

"If you'll just let me explain-" he says.

"What would you do if I had done this?" I retort, "what if I had gone to your management and asked things about you?"

"I probably wouldn't mind," he shrugs his shoulders.

I say nothing and raise my eyebrows at him.

"Okay, maybe a little bit cause I'd expect you to come to me..." he reluctantly agrees and looks down at his feet shamefully.

"What happened to always being honest Harry?" I remind him, "what happened to that promise we made?"

His head snaps up, guilt clearly written all over his face before he looks forlornly at me.

He bows his head again and sighs shakily, sniffing loudly before wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

"I just..." he whispers, sounding like he's about to cry, "I just don't want you to go..."

My heartbeat starts to pound so loudly that I can feel it though my entire body as I just stand there dumbly looking at him.

"But you know I have to Harry, we've been through this..." I say exasperated.

"I know, I know," he runs his hand through his hair in annoyance before his glossy eyes meet mine, "but I want you to come back...sort everything out at home and then come back."

I shake my head in bewilderment.

I'm not coming back.

I can't.

There's too much at stake for me to.

You're an absolute bullshit liar Elizabeth.

Great, now I'm using my full name against myself.

The only thing stopping you is fear.

Everything else is completely doable.

You of all people should know how both short and precious life is Beth.

Yes but.

No more 'buts.'

He said he would catch you if you jump, now stop looking over the edge and fucking jump.

Harry slowly stands up and walks slowly over to me, his lips set in a thin line and it's not until he gingerly reaches out and holds me gently by the arms do I realise I'm breathing rapidly, almost in a panic.

I look up at him, tears filling my eyes and I'm trying my hardest not to let them fall.

"I'm sorry," he says, "I wasn't trying to deceive you, or lie, I just...just wanted to make it easier for you, show you that you have options..." he trails off, "I love you, all of you," he sighs, "I just love you and I want you to stay."

There's nothing but honesty on his face as he looks at me.

And at this moment he's the most fragile I think I've ever seen him.

It also dawns on me that I'm the one who could break him.

As we stare at each other I suddenly see Anne's face in front of me.

And I recall myself telling her how I loved her son.

Without hiding behind any pathetic excuse.

I inhale a little shakily as the memory comes back to me.

I feel like I'm going to vomit again but I'm not sure if it's from the alcohol or the sudden realisation I'm having that I've tried to squash down for so long and ignore it if I don't think about it.

"Please say something," he pleads, "you're starting to scare me."

I realise we're both just as scared at what we stand to lose here, what we could also possibly gain.

There's so much more to gain from us.

Just say it Beth.

Say. It.

"Irrevocably," I whisper.

He frowns and shakes his head.

"I...I don't follow," he replies.

"I told your mother last night when she asked me," I blurt out, suddenly realising I'm having a whole other conversation in my head that he's not privy to.

"What...what did she ask you?" he asks hesitantly.

"She asked me if I loved you," I tell him.

The silence which I'm sure is only a few seconds seems to stretch out for minutes between us.

"I love you," I blurt out, eyes wide as I look at him, "that's what I told her, I love you...irrevocably..." I trail off.

He doesn't say anything, he just stares back at me so I keep on bumbling on.

"I really love you Harry," I tell him, "more than I've let on and more than I've wanted to admit because I'm just plain scared...I'm terrified actually."

I see the recognition on his face as my words sink in before relief washes over him and a smile breaks out on his face.

"Really?" he breathes out.

"I'm still angry with you though for going behind my back," I point my finger at him, "but yes, I do."

He's practically beaming at me right now like it's Christmas Day all over again.

"Wait!" he holds his finger up before quickly running over to his side of the bed and opening his side drawer.

I can't see what he's doing but I can hear the scratching sound of a pencil upon paper and a minute later he's back standing in front of me, holding out the piece of paper for me.

I take it from him and bite my lips to hide my smile as I unfold it and read where he has filled in the blank space.

'This entitles the bearer to: ask the recipient to put her anger on hold, for the absolutely stupid thing he did but it was only because he loves her, whilst the bearer obtains unlimited hugs and kisses because she told him she loves him, irrevocably.'

I look up and see a boyish grin on his face as he waits for me to respond.

I roll my eyes at him and close the gap as I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, my face burying itself in his chest.

"Don't ever do that again," I remind him.

"I won't, I promise," he replies as he squeezes me tightly.

"I mean it Harry, don't..." I say with firmness in my voice before I raise my face up to look at him.

He bends down to kiss me, but I turn my head to the side.

"Cheek for now, no lips for you," I tell him.

He pouts at me and reluctantly kisses my cheek.

"Come back to bed and rest," he says and without letting go, he walks backwards holding onto me until we reach his bed and he pulls the covers back so we can hop in.

Admittedly it feels so good to lay back down after last night.

Harry pulls the covers over us as we lie down, facing each other.

"So," he says.

"So?" I question, having a fair idea of what's coming next.

"So, now that you know you can work here, if you choose to," he adds quickly, "what are your thoughts?"

"Whatever I think, this is something that I need to discuss with the kids," I remind him, "you're also asking them to uproot their lives to come and live here too..."

He nods in understanding.

"Of course," he acknowledges, "and if they say they want to?"

The thought of such a massive change has me feeling panicky again, even though I'm trying not to feel it.

Harry moves his hands up to hold both sides of my face, his own face inches from mine.

"Put aside your fear," he whispers, "what are you left with?"

Well I'm...

What am I left with?

Has anyone else in the world jumped so quickly into something like this?

"Are we crazy?" I ask, "is what we're thinking of doing so bloody crazy Harry?"

"Love makes people do crazy things," he replies, which doesn't make me feel all that relieved, "but love also makes you want to do absolutely anything for that person as well...they become your whole world..."

I smile at his sweet words.

"You," he whispers as he leans in and kisses my cheek, "are my whole world," he kisses me gently on the lips.

"You're playing dirty," I reply, pulling away, "playing on my emotions."

"So it's working?" he grins.

"Possibly," I return his grin before moving closer and snuggling up to him, "quite possibly," I murmur as I listen to the steady rhythm of his heart.

~~~~~~

I wake up, my mouth dry and sticky and I groan as last night comes flooding back to me again.

How the hell am I ever going to look Anne in the eye again.

She's going to think I'm such a tosser.

My stomach starts growling and I feel the sudden urge for a massive bowl of pasta.

I reach out for Harry but find the bed empty.

Well that's just rude.

I decide that I must eventually join the real world again and I crawl out of bed, pulling one of Harry's hoodie's over me before I walk down to the kitchen.

"Next week should be fine," I hear Harry say as I walk down the stairs, "I'll just double-check but-"

He glances up at me and smiles when I walk into the kitchen and head over to the pantry to look for some pasta to cook.

"Because I have another person to consider now, that's why," he pauses, "well now you know," he says with a smile in his voice, "yes its very official."

I place a pot on the stove after I fill it with water and wait for it to boil, hoping he doesn't think I'm intruding on his conversation.

"Sometime soon," he says, "anyway, I have to go, I'll confirm later though okay?"

Harry says goodbye to whoever he's talking to on his phone and places it on the bench.

"How you feeling?" he asks.

I throw the pasta into the boiling water and concentrate on stirring it.

"Flat, mortified and hungry," I reply.

"Well we've all been there love," he says as he gets up off his stool and walks over to where I am, "that was my manager Jeff, on the phone, he wants me to fly over to LA next week..."

"Okay," I shrug my shoulders and keep on stirring.

"Still don't want to come?" he asks.

"Not really," I reply, "you go do your thing and I'll be here waiting when you get back hey?"

"You're sure?" he asks, "I don't mind if you decide to come along."

"Harry," I pat him on the chest, "if I'm there you'll probably spend half your time worrying about what I'm doing or not doing," he opens his mouth to protest but stops, "this way you can concentrate on what you have to do."

"Yeah...okay," he relents, "but next time you're all coming along okay? Agreed?"

"Maybe," I smirk as I look back at the pot.

"Please?" he cuddles up behind me, placing little kisses on my neck.

"Mum you're up!" Chloe yells as she comes bounding into the kitchen.

Ouch.

Well I am now.

"Hey," I greet her with a hug as Harry lets go of me.

"Oh mum you were so funny last night," she giggles, "but you really can't sing though...you need to leave that to Harry..."

I feel my face start to flame as I recall some of my least finer moments from Harry's dinner.

"I ruined it didn't I?" I say, "I'm so sorry, Harry, what your family must think..."

"Harry's mum said she was happy you got drunk," Chloe chimes in.

Wonderful.

"We're going to stay at her house for another sleepover tomorrow night!" she says excitedly, "Gemma's gonna come and stay too!"

I look at Harry questioningly and he simply does a slow rotation of his pelvis and smirks at me.

Dirty bugger.

I concentrate on cooking and tune those two out who are having a lovely chat and a laugh at my expense.

"You know she fell into a bush last night?" Harry says.

"No!" Chloe gasps, "I'm so glad I wasn't there when that happened...I would have died!"

I wish I could, I think.

I dish the pasta into a few bowls as Harry calls out and asks the boys if they want any and they bolt out grabbing a bowl each, not even caring that I've emerged from my hibernation, only focusing on the fact that there's food waiting for them.

I join them at the table and eat in silence, watching as they interact with each other as well as Harry.

They seem so comfortable and at ease with him and he with them.

They look happy.

They're happy with Harry.

Maybe this will be good for them, if we do decide to move over here as a family.

What if they say yes?

What if they say no?

What if they don't all agree?

What do I do then?

I'm overthinking.

I don't even know.

Harry nudges me and I look at him.

"I don't know what's going on in your head but breathe," he whispers, "and ease up on your fork."

I look down and see I'm squeezing my fork so hard that my knuckles are white.

Harry rests his hand on my thigh and runs his hand in a soothing circle on it and I do start to feel myself calming down.

I suppose I might as well ask them now while we're all here together.

"So, um," I clear my throat, "are you still enjoying our holiday here?"

Mumbles of agreement between mouthfuls of food come from all three of them which causes Harry to look at me, excitement in his eyes as he keeps his cool.

"Well I kind of have a question for you," I continue as the three of them all look at me, waiting for me to ask, "what would you say if we were to move here permanently?"

They stare at me, then at each other.

"You mean live here for good?" Nick asks.

I nod my head at him.

"We wouldn't see our home, or school, or friends again?" he asks.

"Probably not," I reply, knowing this is a tough ask for any kid.

"What about Rosie and the sheep?" Chloe asks.

"We would sell them sweetheart," I reply, "unless whoever buys the farm wants to keep them..."

Selling the farm.

That's the first time I've really thought about it.

That's...

"What about the rabbits and the dog?" her voice rising in panic.

"They can come here," Harry quickly interjects.

"Do you want us to stay?" Nick suddenly turns his attention to Harry.

"Of course," Harry replies, "but you all have to want to, I can't force you to stay..."

"Can we talk about it first?" Nick says.

"Absolutely," I reply.

"Okay," he says, "come on," he stands up and motions for Jamie and Chloe to follow him.

"What now?" Jamie says, "I'm still eating."
"Bring it with you," Nick rolls his eyes as he walks off to his bedroom, the other two following behind.

"I was not expecting that," I reply.

"Me neither," Harry says as he squeezes my thigh again, "me neither."