Nickel: I hate you. 

Balloon: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue. 

~

Balloon: Slash gamemode creative. 

Nickel: Dude, this isn't Min-  

Balloon: *starts levitating*

~

Nickel: You... you saved me. You're not a beast at all. YOU'RE A HERO, AN UGLY UGLY UGLY HERO! 

Balloon: Call me ugly again, and maybe I will eat you.

~

Nickel: The universe is cold and unfeeling. The only constant is chaos. 

Balloon: Was that place out of chocolate-chip pancakes again?

~

Nickel: How petty can you get? 

Balloon: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Haha season one Balloon flashbacks go brrrrr

~

Balloon: I couldn't do this without you, Nickel. 

Nickel: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

~

Balloon: I love you. 

Nickel: Me too.

~

Balloon: *texting* Hey can you pick me up I'm drunk. 

Balloon: Oh you don't have to anymore. I'm home now. 

Nickel: Yes, I'm aware of that after dropping you off at home. 

~

Balloon: Holy shit, Nickel, do you know what this means?! 

Nickel: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean. 

~

Nickel: Who hurt you? 

Balloon: *snorting* What, do you want a list? 

Nickel: ...Yes, actually.

~

Nickel, confused and exasperated: Balloon, how do you plan on telling a bear to go vegan? 

Balloon: Politely

~

Balloon: Ah, Hello again. We really need to stop meeting like this. 

Nickel: Maybe we would, if you would sTOP BREAKING INTO MY FUCKING HOUSE!!!

~

Balloon: Can you cut me some slack, Nickel? I'm sort of in love. 

Nickel: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem. 

Balloon: I'm in love with you. 

Nickel: *blushes* Oh. That brings me in the loop a little.

~

Nickel: Bro, I had a dream we fucked. 

Balloon: Bro, relax it was just a dream. 

Nickel: Huh, gay, I wouldn't fuck you.  

Balloon: You wouldn't? 

Nickel: I mean, unless you want to-

~

Nickel: Balloon, is that my mug you're drinking out of? 

Balloon: No, it's mine. 

Nickel: It... looks just like the one I have... 

Balloon: You don't have one like this anymore.

~

Nickel: What's gone wrong, Balloon? 

Balloon: Hey! That's one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I'm calling doesn't mean there's a crisis. 

Nickel: That's technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling? 

Balloon: Well... There's a crisis.

~

Nickel: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!! 

Balloon: Nickel- 

Balloon: It- it was just an ant-

~

Balloon: Are you reading fan fiction? 

Nickel, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. 

Balloon: Oh, is it on Wattpad? 

Nickel: This is CNN.

~

Balloon: Nickel, you need to react when people cry!

Nickel: I did. I rolled my eyes.

~

Nickel: *fast-forwards all the way through the movie* 

Balloon: You can't just skip to the happy ending! 

Nickel: I don't have time for their problems.

~

Balloon: I'm sorry. Please talk to me. 

Nickel: 

Balloon: Hello? World's most amazing person?? Sweet pea? Precious cinnamon roll that's too good for this world, too pure? 

Nickel: 'Sorry' doesn't bring back my fucking M&Ms.

~

Balloon: I drink to forget but I always remember. 

Nickel: You're drinking orange juice.

~

Balloon: Nickel, you're testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you'll present yourself on the stand. 

Nickel: Why? I'm fine on the stand! 

*flashback to Testimony #1* 

Nickel: Look, I'll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand. 

Nickel, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME. 

*flashback to Testimony #2* 

Nickel: I'm sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face? 

Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: ...Crying? 

*flashback to Testimony #3* 

Nickel: And when this is over, I'm gonna find you and I'm gonna break those little fingers. 

Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?

~

Balloon: That's illegal, right? 

Nickel: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop? 

Balloon: No- 

Nickel: Then shut the fuck up. 

~

Balloon: I've been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the "power nap" button. I don't set up alarms, I set up timers, Nickel.

~

Balloon: I just wanna be called cute 21/7.

Nickel: Why no 24/7? 

Balloon: Snack breaks. 

~

Nickel: Hey, Balloon. What kind of flowers do you prefer? 

Balloon: I like sunflowers. 

Nickel, pulling out a bouquet of Venus Flytraps: Well, shit- 

~

Balloon: I can't tell if you're a genius or just incredibly arrogant. 

Nickel: Well, on a good day, I'm both.

~

Nickel: What should I do? 

Balloon: *holds out hand* May I suggest dinner with a friend? 

Nickel: Well, none of my friends are available, so I guess I'll have to go with you.

~

Nickel: Are you drinking enough water? 

Balloon: Sometimes my tears get in my mouth.

~

Nickel: Guys, there's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly. 

Balloon, on the bottom bunk: Honestly, fuck you.

~

Nickel: Wow, this parking is as straight as I am. 

Balloon: I know I should be focused on the fact that you just came out, but HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY PARKING!

~

Nickel with a gun to Balloon's head: What happens if I pull this trigger? Heaven? 

Balloon: Bold of you to assume I'll go to Heaven.

~

Balloon, texting Nickel: *sends a voice message* 

Nickel, texting back: I'm a little busy, is it urgent? 

Balloon: No, don't worry, just listen later. 

*later* 

Nickel: *presses play* 

Balloon's voice message: THERE'S A FIRE- 

~

Balloon: Oh, fiddlesticks. 

Nickel: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.

~

Balloon: Why did you leave Wrestlemania on for Cinnamon and Box? 

Nickel: They need to learn how to protect us.

~

Nickel: Where have you been all day? 

Balloon: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

~

Balloon: Hey besties- 

Nickel: Die. 

Balloon: What did I do to you-

~

Balloon: Sorry I'm late, I was doing things. 

Nickel: Hi, I'm 'things'.

~

Nickel: What the fuck is wrong with you??

Balloon: What? No good morning? 

Nickel: Good morning, what the fuck is wrong with you??

~

Balloon: Are you ever going to listen to me? 

Nickel: Yes. Absolutely. 

Balloon: When? 

Nickel: When you're right.

~

Balloon, walking into the new Thinkers' cabin: Who's in charge here? 

Nickel, shrugging: Usually whoever yells the loudest.

~

Balloon: You have any sunscreen? 

Nickel: You can't get a sunburn from a bonfire— 

Balloon: It's for my marshmallow ya dummy.

~

Balloon: Bonjour, Nickel. Voulez–vous coucher avec moi? 

Nickel: No, I don't want to sleep with you. 

Balloon: Is that what that means? Oh, man, I had a really gross tennis instructor.

~

Balloon: Why are you like this?? 

Nickel: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

~

Nickel: Don't stay up all night, Balloon. Last time you got this sleep-deprived, you tried to eat your own shirt.

~

Balloon: Here comes the lightning! 

Balloon, whispering: You've got to imagine it coming out my fingertips, wherein I am an almighty wizard. 

Nickel: Ok, currently imagining that. Hmm, not bad. Not bad at all.

~

Balloon: Nickel likes to win. When he was 8, a little Club Scout friend of his bragged they could sell the most cookies. 

Balloon: Damned if Nickel didn't walk the neighborhood till he got blisters on his feet, and won by 10 boxes. 

Balloon: Best part is, Nickel wasn't even a Club Scout.

~

Balloon: Are you a cuddler? 

Nickel: I'm a machine of death and destruction. 

Balloon: 

Nickel: ...Yeah, I'm a cuddler.

~

*Nickel is speaking on the phone* 

Nickel: Yeah, I'm with Balloon. 

Balloon: Im fucking dying- 

Nickel: Yep, he's okay.  

Balloon: I have a knife in my chest!  

Nickel: No, he can't talk right now. He's sleeping, sorry. 

Balloon: I'M BLEEDING OUT- 

~

Balloon: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. 

Nickel: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*  

Balloon: That one. I want that one.

~

Nickel: I wish I had more enemies. 

Balloon: I'm sure you will someday, honey.

~

Ok that's it for now! Hope y'all enjoyed lmao