I can't do this.

There is too much I want to do.

Tons of Wattpad stories and chapters.

Lots of games to record on YouTube.

Things I want to do.

I want to do all this, but every weekend, no matter what I do, I feel like I'm accomplishing nothing.

It's worse when I wake up 6 hours late. I feel discouraged and weak and pathetic.

I feel like I'm letting everyone down. The people who love these stories, the 3 people who watch my videos, my friends on Skype and Discord who deserve someone less pathetic than me...

Don't tell me to take a break. I don't need a break from Wattpad or YouTube or Skype or Discord. I need a break from everything else. School. Homework. Shit that takes me away from doing this.

Winter break is coming up soon and I'm hoping it will give me the chance I need to start accomplishing things.

I wanted to finish my Danganronpa 1 and 2 series by the end of the year so I could roll right into V3. But I'm still only on Chapter 2 of DR1. Sure, V3 will take a while to get localized, and it might not even come out on Steam, but if it does, I want to play it blind. I want to experience V3 blind MYSELF. No watching NicoB or a fan translation or someone else, I want the official localization and I want to play it. I'll be avoiding Tumblr like the plague.

There are games I really want to play, and I have them, but I want to play them blind on YouTube, but I can't bring myself to do some of this because I can't let the readers down. But I can't ignore Wattpad either. It's just...

I have a system. Yesterday, I recorded a video and planned on updating some or a lot of my books while the video processed and uploaded. I managed to do ONE update. "The Love Of Tigers". That chapter took my HOURS to write. Is this writer's block? Is this a lack of motivation? Am I stressed? I don't know.

I want to use this system more. Writing while videos load. But, I need two things in order to do that.

1. Motivation and inspiration to write.

I won't be able to write unless I have ideas. My Discord friends can testify that I have many ideas for the stories I'm planning and doing, but sometimes I'm lacking motivation. Or energy. I need to be in the mood to write or else it's going to be crap. I don't want that. I want to make you guys happy! To give you quality content!

2. Time.

I need more time. Less school, less homework, more weekends, and I'm arguing about sleep.

On one hand, I talk to my friends, go to bed late, wake up late, and not have much time.

On the other, I sleep early, wake up early, have the time I need to fulfill my daily agenda, and get to sleep on time.

School is not affected by this. This is my schedule for Friday and Saturday nights.

The solution should be obvious, right? Just sleep early and talk to your friends during the day, right?

THEY AREN'T ON DURING THE DAY!

I wake up at 5 in the morning for school. This is what I'm comfortable with. I go to sleep at 11, though I really should be going at 10. But, After 10 is when my Skype friends are most active. And my Discord friends are all over the place.

I DON'T WANT TO JUST STOP TALKING TO THEM FOR A WHILE! I love them all with all of heart and soul! Haji, Kat, Carlos, Aki, Amara, Ollie, Chi, Rin, Mel, Rairai, Em, Jacob, Peko, EVERYONE!

And Fluffy, too... I miss her so much...

I love these people with all of my soul, some more than my real life friends. I don't want to leave them. I want to talk to them any chance I get!

I'm stuck... All I need is more time... I just need more...

I need motivation... I need energy... I need... I need my friends...

That's all I need...