a/n: Yes I know the title is dorky. I'm a dork. Buckle up for the major angst and my weak attempts at lighting the mood with my dorkiness lol

His arms wrapped around me as I lay next to him and I sighed, smiling. He kissed my forehead. "Did I wake you from your nap, Sleeping Beauty?" He teased.

A sleepy smile fell across my face and I pulled him close. "Yeah, but I don't mind."

He looked at me, an eyebrow raising. His curly hair was falling in his face and his dark eyes were tired. "You don't mind?"

I chuckled sheepishly. I was very serious about being able to get my sleep. I'd always been that way. But now, with my boyfriend having been gone so long and having missed him so much, I was ecstatic to be awake. "Not for you."

The dark of his eyes softened into pools of melted milk chocolate. "Missed me that much."

Pulling him even closer, I buried my face in his chest. "More than you'll ever understand."

Nick smiled lightly. "I understand perfectly." And he did. He missed her just as much.

-

When his eyes landed on the girl, Nick Jonas didn't know what to think. What to say. What to do. His mind went blank and a weird kind of wanting rose in him. She laughed and his chest ached. She touched her arm or her face or hair and he wished that he could touch it for her. His hands twitched, itching. Her lips curled and he couldn't help but remember how it felt to kiss those lips. She looked up, feeling eyes on her, and their gazes locked. His heart dropped so fast and hard into his stomach that it dragged his stomach into his toes. His empty chest constricted, threatening to cave, and he couldn't look away.

She was just as beautiful as when they were together. She'd even matured some the last year. Gotten even more beautiful. As impossible as that seemed, it was undeniably right before him, her living proof of the fact.

Her smile faded a bit and she seemed more confused. He must have had an odd expression on his face. He finally ripped his eyes from hers, turning sharply and racing out of the room. He was at a party with his brothers and of course she had been here. Looking like that. Tantalizing him. Teasing him and dangling before him. Taunting him.

Nick slipped into the men's restroom and closed the door behind him, leaning his head against the door, closing his eyes.

It had all started with simple things after she left.

One time, her favorite band had come out with a new music video and he still had her YouTube logged in on his phone, since she'd been showing him her suggestions and music and such without messing up his account. He hadn't minded. Until... Until he'd gotten a notification and had clicked it, confused. The song started playing and he recognized the song as one she'd played again and again, ranting about how amazing it was for hours and days and weeks on end. One of her favorite songs. He got excited and went to call her, but then realized he couldn't. She wouldn't answer him, even if he did call her. She would be startled and weirded out and probably angry and they'd just argue. He remembered feeling weird all day, knowing the music video was out but not having her by his side to remind him about it and give feedback on it.

Another time, he'd woken up half groggy and thick with sleep and for some reason he thought that she'd spent the night and was next to him. She had before, plenty of times, without them doing anything of course. In his mind, he pulled her close, burying his nose in her hair. But no. This wasn't her scent. This was something else. He opened his eyes and all he could see was white. His pillow. The white of his pillow. He'd pulled it close, lying to himself that it was her. He'd stayed in bed until past noon, staring at the wall and wondering where the daydream of her sleeping next to him had even come from. They'd been broken up for months now...

So many little things he'd never even though of being a problem... were a problem. Finding her shoe under his bed while he cleaned and remembering her walking out of his house after that last fight with one foot bare, settling on finding it. Finding her favorite cereal in the cupboard still, untouched not only because he hated the taste while they were together, but because he hated it even more now that it only reminded him of her. Finding little habits he had - hair ties on his wrist, making room in a backpack or a suitcase for if she needed any extra space, packing an extra water bottle, setting an extra plate for meals - and realizing it stemmed from being with her and making changes to accommodate for her presence and needs.

Now all he could do was hide in the bathroom because if he saw her again...

Not here. Not now. Not when all of his was hitting at its worse, claws out and sinking into his brain, clawing him as it etched her face behind his eyelids and her touch into his skin; her memory into his mind.

Unable to be in the same building even as her without feeling his self control slipping along with his sanity, Nick left the bathroom and stamped the night a loss.

-

Joe sighed, sitting back and folding his arms. "What's wrong with you?"

Knocked out of his stupor and shaking away his thoughts that had him so captivated and quiet, Nick looked up. "Hm?" When he saw his brother's expression and finally registered what he'd been asked, he put up the mask and the facade, smiling. "Nothing. Why do you ask?"

Obviously not convicted, Joe rolled his eyes. "Nick. What's wrong?"

There was a long silence here nothing changed. And then suddenly Nick broke, sinking into his chair as his face twisted with agony. "I miss her, Joe. I miss her like someone sawed off my leg or arm. I'm... this... it sucks."

The older Jonas grew quiet, his expression softening. "You regret letting her go. It's been months, Nick."

"And she's moved on," Nick agreed.

Joe cocked an eyebrow. "You think so?"

Nick shrugged. "I'm pretty sure. It's been months and she seems happy every time I see-"

"Key word: seems." Nick grew quiet as Joe spoke, listening. "Nick, do you love this girl?" He looked at his little brother, crossing his arms on the table and getting serious. At first, Nick wanted to say no. Then he wanted to lie when he realized that yes, he did. Instead of lying to Joe or himself, Nick just nodded briefly, a terrified expression hooded in his eyes. "Well, she loved you too. It's only been four and a half months. Maybe you guys needed to grow up. I'm not-" Joe paused, thinking. "I'm not saying go back to her and rush or push into a relationship again. I'm saying... reconnect. Reach out. If you love her, fight for her. Take it slowly, as you're good at. She's said plenty of times that the relationship with you was pleasant, even if the breakup wasn't. She's taken the blame for the brutalness of it. So, obviously, she thinks very highly of you. I think that if you really do love her, it would be ridiculous to let her completely get away."

Nick was quiet for a long time after his brother stopped speaking. "Do you think... we'll ever get back together?"

A long sigh left Joe's lips. "I think there's a possibility. Nothing's totally impossible."

Nick lay his head on the table. "I'm such an idiot for letting her get away."

"Yeah," Joe agreed. "You really are." Nick sat up and smacked his brother and Joe laughed, half wincing. "A strong idiot."

An almost animalistic groan came from Nick, and Joe only laughed harder.