It was a dark and stormy night.  Suddenly, a shot rang out.  Somewhere, Tommy Hawk fainted as the captain fell to the ground.  Scott Darling was somewhere in the locker room, laughter ringing all around him.  A loaded gun fell to the ground near the penalty box.  

Meanwhile, a meteor crashed into the Scottrade Center and ruined the St. Louis Blues season for many years to come.  

END OF PART ONE

At a concession stand deep within the United Center a cook made a startling new creation to share with the rest of the loyal Hawkers.  Patrick Kane ran around like a maniac, not knowing who his next victim would be.  The athletic trainer was wondering who would be next.    

And Corey Crawford was trying to find Jonathan Toews before it is too late.

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"Seriously, Tommy, why did you have to faint in the story???  You're the author for crying out loud!  And I thought I couldn't write about the annual NERF Gun battle!"

Scott Darling was laughing at Tommy, because these two were on a team together as the Nerf battle raged all around them.  This was the fifth annual battle, and for some odd reason, they decided to do it in pairs this year.  For example, Jonathan Toews partnered up with Patrick Kane (this would turn out to be the deadliest combination in years to come), Artemi Panarin was with Corey Crawford, and Scott and the mascot were paired up with one another.  

They heard someone sneak into their sacred hiding place and yell "I GOT YOU SCOTT AND TOMMY!!!" 

Patrick Kane quickly pulled the trigger on his Nerf Barrel Break IX-2 and shot the two down to the ground.  Patrick swooped in and snatched Scott's Nerf N-Strike Elite Mega Magnus Blaster just as the duo "died" in the round.  

Right before they 'moved on to the next world,' Scott yelled out, "CURSE YOU PATTY!!!"

Patrick laughed at his goofy teammate and the mascot before they rested on the ground for the final time (at least until the next round started).  He then heard a Nerf Maverick REV-6 being fired near the penalty box, and a loud 'THUD' followed.  

Patty raced onto the ice, hoping it wasn't his lost partner-in-crime Jonathan who fell on the ice.  There were only a few survivors in the first of many rounds of the Fifth Annual Battle of United, and Patty secretly wished that Jonny and him would be the last two survivors.  

The rules of the first round were simple enough: pair up and survive.  This was the time to show the team everything any player had.  The team, of course, wanted to make sure they could remember you in the first place.  

In the middle of the United Center, there was Jonathan Toews, laying there next to his fallen Nerf Furyfire with a single Nerf bullet right above his heart.  

Who shot Jonathan Toews???  It didn't matter if they took Patty's life with Jonny, but they only had each other.  It was just the two of them against the world.  Patrick didn't have to look far for the so called 'murderer', as Jordin Tootoo held his Nerf Hyperfire close to his right arm.  Jordin's right hand was on the trigger and his index finger sat on it, just waiting to pull it once again.  

"JONNY!!" Patrick Kane shrieked out as he slid to his captain's side.  

Exhausted, but elated to see his partner again, Jonny had a sad smile on his face as he laid there, 'dying' after a long battle.  Jonny whispered into Kaner's ear, "You'll be.....better off now....Patty."

Patrick starts to tear up as if Jonny was actually dying and remembers that HE DITCHED HIM!  Patrick asked Jonny as he holds his hand, "Am I the one who did this to you?"

"No.  It was my choice to go away now.  Better that, than to do nothing...and let Jordin have his way.  I belong with the others now.  And now, I am going back to be with...," Jonny hesitates and sheds a small tear as if there was an actual bullet in his heart, "them.  Patty, I need you to do me a favor.  All those people that I shot down for the Authority, for Crawford, for Q, I need you to find their hearts and free them."

Patrick looks at his brother, "Those hearts, almost like Kingdom Hearts, set them free?"

Jonny sighs and nods at the forward, "It's too late...for me to undo my mistakes.  But you can't let Jordin and the Authority have Kingdom Hearts.  You can't.  Goodbye, Kaner.  See you again, and I'm glad I got to play on the ice with you.  Oh...and of course, Artemi too.  You're both my teammates, my best friends.  Never forget.  That's the truth."

Jonny closed his eyes for the last time (in the round at least) and laid there as tears hit his face.  

"Jonny....I.....never got to say I love you......." Patrick whispered.  

Jordin Tootoo looked at the two brothers (who knows, maybe they're more than that...) and smirks.  At least he would have an easy time killing Kaner.   

All of the sudden, BANG!  Jordin was on the ground, dead as a doorknob.  

"What the fook happened, Pat-Pat?" Artemi Panarin killed Jordin Tootoo with a Nerf Secret Strike AS-1.  He didn't mean to, or did he??  Did he????

Patrick looked at Artemi and said, "You killed Jonny's killer.  Who else did you kill?"

Artemi looks around, "Me think you're the only one left, Pat-Pat.  I stop bad guys."

Patrick embraced Artemi but said, "We're on different teams though.  I....I have to shoot you."

Artemi retorted, "Bye-Bye Pat-Pat!  Cookies and bread in locker room!!"

Artemi skipped off the ice, heading towards the sweet treats.  A voice boomed over the United Center stating, "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the winner of the first round of the Fifth Annual Battle of United: Patrick Kane."

As if everyone was healed, all of the 'dead' people rose up and headed towards the locker room to reload and refresh before the second round.  Patrick felt a hand on his shoulder, and there was a smiling Jonathan Toews greeting him.  

"You really mean that you....loved me?"

Patrick could only smile and nod as he and Jonny walked into the Blackhawks' locker room.  A few minutes later, all of the players were standing on center ice with their various Nerf guns locked and loaded.  

That same voice rang out again, "Ladies and gentlemen, let the second round of the Fifth Annual Battle of United begin.  And may the odds be ever in your favor.  Ten...nine...eight...seven...six...five...four...three...two...one...."

And the next round began, and Patty immediately ran to Jonny's side.  

"Guess we're allies?"

"Forever and always, Kaner."

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A/N- Wow!!  Who knew a Nerf battle could be so intense???  This one was a fun request inspired by a lot of people who enjoy certain players on the team, but might not like the team in general.  Let me know if you like it!!  

-Kristina