Percy Jackson

I mean, of course he did. So we sat down and as I ate lunch, I explained some stuff to him.

"So when I was gone, Hera had taken me and a Roman kid and basically like, swapped us our with no warning to consideration." I told Leo as I started to eat my soup. It was good. "so I was in California. But she wiped our memory clean so that was rough and eventually I found the Roman camp and there was a little quest which was fine and during it I got my memory back. Or, like 90% of it. Some details of stuff were slower to come back, but still. That was when I called home, I was in Alaska and then we'd have to head to Greece."

"Okay."

"After that, going to Greece, we made stops because of refuelling or just resting, attacks, whatever," I went on, sighing. "And we stopped to get Annabeth, another demigod, good friend of mine, from a side quest she was on for her mom and she had a broken ankle but before we could get her on deck, we were on a flying ship that I still don't really understand, this massive hole broke out under us and she managed to get my ankle and I grabbed a little tiny footcliff essentially and it was a whole thing and it was either let her tell and potentially die alone and go at it with a broken ankle or go with and hope and so my grip gave out and we fell for a long time."

I paused for a second because it's a story I haven't told much and I still don't know how much I want to tell. Or how often I do.

"And I haven't gone into this with my parents for their sanity and slowly easing them into it." I clarified for my coach. "especially for Paul, who just seems to go with everything but not quite get it. But we fell and landed in Tartarus, and with glass on land and poison in the air and I drank lava to survive I think gives you a good enough idea of how it went. But we survived and closed the doors of death, which is why the hole opened up and there were a few instances that I'd like to never happen again, but... Yeah. After that it was Epirus and just finishing up and then the fucking Romans hate us and wanted to destroy our camp after we just rebuilt it and yeah. It was a lot and I haven't gotten that far beyond a super general, not Tartarus inclusive story for my parents. I've told my mom a little more but Paul just... It's weird. I know he tries, but it doesn't seem like it."

"Aw, I'm sorry," Coach Leo said, looking like he felt bad for me. "I know that I can't really do much, but I mean you can always text me or send me a voice message rant if you need to. But you've been hanging out with Wilson a bit, right? He's a good kid, he's Apollo's kid but he doesn't go anymore."

"Yeah, I know, I found out like right after I got back," I assured him, nodding my head. "uh, yeah, we've hung out. Um, I don't know how much word has spread at school or even just on the team, but we're like, dating, so that's a big reason as to why we hang out a lot."

And that excited my swim coach. Like, a lot more than it probably needed to.

The support was nice, though.

Kind of wish it'd be more from Paul or my dad, but it works and I appreciated it none the less.

I know that Paul tries and I get that and I'm happy that he at least cares. He cared enough to ask for my permission to like, marry my mom, which was cool of him. I wasn't going to say no, I thought I was going to be dead in a year's time.

But we just don't... Click? It's weird. I feel like I can't talk about Dad stuff with him. He's just like, there. Another person. Like the cool uncle maybe?

If they have a kid... I know that they've talked about it a little. Now that Mom is like, feeling a lot better because I'm safe at home. I'm alive and she knows that. She's working and getting money and I heard them mention it once.

I don't know how I'd feel about that. I've always wanted a little sibling that's like, around more than Tyson is. Also younger. They're still young enough to kids. I mean, Mom is 37. I think Paul is 39? They're super close on age but he's a little older, I think. He might be 38.

Either way, they're still young enough to have a kid or two if they wanted.

Leo wasn't around for super long, he has to get back for practice and everything, but Paul got home not long after he left, Mom was grocery shopping and as nice as coach was, the nightmares just sort of ruined my mood and drawing to visualize it wasn't doing much today besides making me think about what happened in July.

I still don't get it. How I haven't died yet.

To be fair, I kind of cheated death in the war. Last year. That... Felt weird.

I don't like invincible. It feels wrong.

"Hey, how was your day at home?" Paul asked and he didn't mean to sound like... Rude, but it just rubbed me wrong. He just wanted to know.

He wants me in school, but he knows it's not good right now so he's asking how I'm doing with the other option: being home.

I just shrugged.

"Fine," I figured. "Had some food, took a nap, had a nightmare. Leo stopped by for a little bit to see how I was doing between his class and practice. Yeah."

"You had another nightmare?" My step dad asked, which like, it happens every night. It shouldn't be surprising, but it sounded like it worried him. So I just nodded my head. It happens. "What about?"

"Just..."

I don't know why I can't do it. Why I can't just tell him or Mom about what happened. About Tartarus. About Misery or even Phineas.

About how I can't sleep because of what happened down there. Misery, as I always mention. But even just watching Bob (Iaptus) go and... Knowing that it was because of me and...

"Demigod stuff."

As if he expected my answer to change in the last two weeks.

No wonder people think I'm stupid.

"You do know that you can talk to me about demigod stuff, right?" He went on, and I knew that he was saying it because he's my step dad. He cares, to some extent. And this demigod thing just makes this gap between us and I don't know how to close it besides talking about it but I don't even know how to do that with him. "I don't know everything but... I can learn. I have the basics. I've met some of the others. Your mom's told me a little."

It was silent for a moment.

"You were gone for the better part of a year, Percy," Paul insisted as he leaned against the wall across from where I was sitting. "that's a lot of demigod stuff, and I know you've talked about a little of it and I don't want to rush you into telling me or your mom every little thing but... Nightmares usually change every so often. Demigod stuff can be a lot of different things."

"I guess."

It made me feel like such a shitty person. Tartarus did. And Annabeth hasn't said anything and she seems to be fine with me as a person still.

But it feels... It makes me feel gross. It exhausted me.

"Are you feeling alright, kiddo?"

But I didn't know what else to tell him. How to put it into words that would make sense to somebody that wasn't there.

"I'm tired."

"You're tired?" He responded, but he didn't get it. "If you need to lay down again, I know your mom has some lavender that helped her a lot when—"

"No, Paul," I told him as I could feel the tension rise in my chest that seems to build at an astonishing rate for what I've done since my last panic attack at school. "It's not something a nap is going to take care of. I'm exhausted all the fucking time. I'm drained, mentally and emotionally."

I paused for a moment. Because it's true. I'm fucking exhausted and I can't even get decent sleep to see if that could even help.

"I know that you and Mom are worried and you want me to just like..." But I struggled to even explain that. "feel better and tell you when stuff isn't going right and to tell you about what happened when I was gone but but it's not like... When the stuff that isn't going right isn't even going on anymore..."

Stopping again, it was the only thing I could manage.

"I'm just tired."