Quinn

I only have one night left here and this is not how I planned on spending it. In the hospital, again, while I wait for Rafe in the waiting room to see if he's okay. The fucking music isn't helping my emotions either.

What hospital plays Sign of the Times by Harry Styles at a time like this. If I wasn't already violently sobbing before, I sure am right now. It's been around an hour since I got us to the hospital and I have been a wreck.

Probably three or four people have tried to comfort me, including a few nursing staff, but nothing is working. I've been told that they are going to be performing surgery at any moment to try and get the bullet out.

Gosh why does it feel like I'm always in this goddamn hospital. I feel like they think I'm the cause for this at this point and I wound't blame them. What are the odds that I was here with Sofia a few days ago and now Rafe.

Gosh I just hope he's okay. I feel like I'm going to throw up everything that I have eaten this whole week. I want to call Genevieve but I wound't be able to get any words out no matter how hard I tried.

Plus I don't even have my fucking phone since it was a no phone day or activity. Whatever the fuck you want to call it. I have more important things to worry about right now.

Like the fact that I called Rafe my boyfriend or that said boyfriend is going into surgery all because I put him in this situation.

If I never came to the Outer Banks, Rafe would have never been injured and everything would go back to how it was before. I said it once and I will say it again. The Outer Banks is not paradise on Earth.

It's my personal hell hole and I hope everyone in it burns to a crisp, never to be seen again. I can't stand that I feel the way I do either. Literally just last night he said I love you and I didn't even say it back.

Mostly because I was sleeping, but I didn't know if I meant it or not. Well now I know my answer. I love Rafe Cameron and I don't think I ever stopped even after all these years. If only I said something beforehand.

Maybe if I said it back, I would feel a little better but I don't. I feel like a broken record just telling myself I hope he's okay, but I just hope he is. It's so hard to even sit still right now. I feel so antsy and visiting hours are going to be over soon.

I'm pretty sure they are already over actually because I'm the only one in the waiting room, but I don't care. They will have to drag me out of here before I leave. And even then, I would find a way back in just for him.

Call me crazy, but I would do anything for him because I knew he would do the same for me. Maybe in my own twisted way I would kill for him just to prove my love for him. I will do whatever it takes for him to know how much I truly love and adore him.

𓇼𓇼𓇼𓇼

Rafe

The surgeons just finished getting the bullet out of me and wanted me to stay for at least a day, but I said no. I needed to see Quinn. Our back and forth took around fifty years off my life. It was all worth it though when I got to see her.

Laying across a bunch of hospital chairs, sound asleep. This is going to hurt like a bitch but I just need to get home and take a shower. I scoop her up bridal style and make my way out to the parking lot.

I know we came here by boat but have no idea how Quinn got me here. I was losing so much blood that everything up until right now has been such a haze. Thankfully I know how to get to the ports from here and make my way over.

It took around ten or so minutes to get onto the boat without hurting my arm trying to get Quinn down. Driving down the marsh, I park the Druthers and spend a decent amount of time getting Quinn out and into the house.

I bring her up the stairs and into bed while I find an oversized shirt for her to sleep in. I bring her and the shirt into the bathroom with me and clean her up a bit before putting her back to bed. How she hasn't woken up yet is beyond me.

I guess today and all the stress really tired her out. After my shower, I get into bed, but face away from Quinn because of my arm. Gosh I hate not being able to see or touch her at night.

I toss and turn all night, not getting a wink of sleep. I just keep reliving the same scene in my head all over again. How it was my fault that Quinn almost got shot at. I'm just glad it was me and not her.

I hear a whimper from beside me and immediately I break out into a sweat knowing that she's having a nightmare. Tossing and turning, I don't want to touch her in case that triggers something else in the nightmare.

But I don't know what else to do. I take a hold of her shoulders to try and steady her while her legs keep thrashing around. "Hey, hey Quinn," I say, trying to get my voice to get to her and stop whatever is going on.

Between her now crying and thrashing I really have no clue on what to do now. I promised myself I would never do this to her, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I steady her as much as possible and slap her.

Suddenly everything stops. What have I done? I see her take a deep breath and gasp as she flies up from under my hold, coughing like a lunatick. I run her lower back in small circles as she just continues to cry.

"Hey it's okay," I coo, trying to calm her down the best I can. I hear her start to dry heave so I bring her to the bathroom.

Between this and my arm, it's going to be a long night.

𓇼𓇼𓇼𓇼

Quinn

I don't know how I ended up back home, but here I am. Throwing up in the toilet as Rafe holds my hair back. This is not how the night should have gone one fucking bit. I should still be at the hospital worrying my ass off.

But instead I'm here all because I had a nightmare. I just felt so real and I didn't want to relive what happened today at all. I think I need to stay away from boats and being on boats with dudes because every time I'm on one, something happens.

First the kiss, and then I got shot at because of that 'kiss'. I would like to say it's probably four in the morning right now and I'm finally back in bed with Rafe and Theo. "Do you want to talk about it?" Rafe asks me and it sorta catches me off guard.

He normally isn't like this ever and it's throwing me off. What happened to the guy who lowkey had anger issues and was killing everyone. I don't know if I should say this or not but I miss that version of Rafe.

Now don't get me wrong I like this version of him a lot, but there is just something missing. I think the thrill of everything now is just gone. I still like him and all, but I really liked him back then. Just not when he went to jail for killing everyone.

I'm willing to look past that.

I shake my head and just cover myself further in the blanket. "Can we talk about it tomorrow before I leave," I mumble into the blanket. Like that is gonna hide me. Rafe doesn't know that tomorrow is my last day here.

Well he does now I guess. "Wait, what do you mean before you leave?" Gosh who knew this would be kinda hard. "I was only supposed to be here for a week to face some shit which I really don't know what that means and all that has done is solidified why I don't come back here."

Might have been a little harsh but whatever. "You can't just leave me. I just got you back!" Rafe starts to raise his voice at me and I start to get angry. "You don't get to tell me what I can or can't do Rafe."

"I can when I love you!" He yells and gets out of bed pacing around the room. If he keeps this up, he's going to wear out the floor. Running a hand through his hair, he starts to tug at it, seeming to go back and forth with his emotions.

"Yes I can," He goes to point at me. "You don't get it Quinn. I would do anything for you alright? ANYTHING!" He full on screams, scaring Theo in the process leaving me all alone. I go to open my mouth but I get cut off.

"I'm obsessed with everything about you. I put a tracker on you before you left for fucks sake so I could know if you were okay. I would burn the whole world down if it meant just getting to spend one more moment with you."

Now wait just a minute. "You put a tracker on me!" I yelled, standing from the bed and going to face him. "I did," He says a little too calmly which makes me a little scared and I go to take a step back but he follows.

"You just don't get it do you?" Rafe tsks and gets closer to me until I hit the foot of the bed. "My sweet precious Quinn," He strokes my cheek as I fight the urge to cry. "You won't ever leave me. EVER! Do you understand?" I nod my head and he backs away.

"Now get some sleep because tomorrow morning we are canceling your flight in the morning," He says like that whole thing just didn't happen.

When I said I miss the old Rafe, this wasn't what I had in my mind.

𓇼𓇼𓇼𓇼

Gus

Quinn might have shot me in the leg and caused me to almost bleed out on the fucking boat, but I was able to get some help.

I know she didn't intentionally mean to shoot me and if she did we were going to have some problems. The first is that little boy toy of hers. The moment I find him, he will be dead meat. Nobody comes between me and the love of my life.

She only shot me to make it seem like she doesn't want me. Yeah, that's why she did it. The moment I get fully healed and back up on my feet, I'm coming for you Quinn.

You might be leaving the Outer Banks tomorrow, but I know your every move. You can run but you can't hide from me.

For I will find you even if it kills me.

For her, I would kill anyone.

𓇼𓇼𓇼𓇼

Dear diary,

    It's been a little while since we have seen one another. To say I'm confused is not the right word. But then again, I don't think I know what word that is.

I still love Rafe even if I can't say it to him right now but I do. I know he was yelling at stuff but it's been one hell of a day so I don't blame him. I would be the same exact way I think.

A part of me doesn't even want to go home and just play house with this man for the rest of my life. I want to get married, have a bunch of cats and maybe a mini me and Rafe running around our yard.

Whatever happens tomorrow, I hope I make the right decision.

I'll keep you updated as soon as I can.

I just hope everything will turn out fine.

Love,
Quinn