Comment Topic: Comment on the mood of the chapter by describing how you felt while reading it. Then explain how the Author was able to evoke those feelings. Be as detailed as possible.

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Author #1: DawnStarling

Book: I am in Love with an Invisible Man

Chapter: 2

Author's Note: This is my problem chapter. All readers somehow disappear after this chapter and I want to know why. What are your thoughts and where I can I improve to entice the reader further?

 Winning Comment:  "First reaction was I wanted to see what happened as a result of him trying to appear in the crowd, and felt a bit cheated that you didn't write that through to an end, because it was a really dramatic scene. I'm definitely interested in the dynamic between the three of them, and still curious to see what happens next. Your pacing is good, and I didn't feel like skimming at any point. I did feel Josslyn was being a bit passive about things, and I was surprised that Wyatt didn't hang up or call for help after what she told him, and very am interested to find out if he has ulterior motives for helping her."-  eprosper

1st Runner Up:  GreatGustav

2nd Runner Up: teamcontract

Author's Final Notes: It was very difficult to choose the winning comment but I felt eprosper really provided me with the insight I've been wanting to confirm.  She never had to (and none of you ever have to) but she still took the time to go back and read chapter 1. She commented on something I've always been curious about - that I had somehow stolen an experience readers were suppose to have from chapter 1. In all honesty, the reason why chapter 2 may be so confusing  is because chapter 1 ended so abruptly, so climatic, readers may be completely turned off that I didn't continue that suspense into chapter 2 - as though I did in fact, steal an experience they were suppose to have. I've always been afraid that I've done this but I never thought anyone would pick up on it but she did and that was really shocking for me. Thank you eprosper

I really like GreatGustav 's comment because he took the time to analyze Josslyn as she is - not what she ought to be. I think we as readers - myself included - look at a character and judge too soon what the character should do/ought to be instead of taking the time to analyze why the character is a certain way. He was able to understand Josslyn  so well, it's as though she was his creation. If you can get GreatGustav to read your work, I think you'll be very much blessed with his insight.

I loved the comment by TeamContract . Not only did they explain where I needed to improve, they provided a detailed example of how I should I do it. They didn't help me just on the surface (fix this and that) they provided me the tools to do so. I thoroughly enjoyed their comment and I intend to use their advice.

Thank you for all the awesome participation. You guys rock! I've learned so much, not only about my book, but myself as well. Keep up the great commenting.

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Author #2: sarah0715000

Book: Is This Possible?

Chapter: 10 - Restless Sands

Author's Note: Looking to know what you like about it and if you do, then read from the beginning :)

Winning Comment:  I picked this because they told me what I messed up on and they said my book "brings out what you want to hear in a relationship". They also noted my book was not like the other sappy teen love stories, the romance between Sarah and Edward sounds more like a "reality in some cases". They also took notice of the title of my story and told me about how it is hard to find one that captures the whole story. This shows that they went above and beyond the standards for this contest by providing their experience in this genre. Remember this all comes from someone who does not like reading romance so in my opinion won my vote.  - A7Smarts

1st Runner up: ariel_paiement1

2nd Runner up: AnimeLoveSickness

Author's Final Notes: I had to go through 50+ comments and it was hard to go through them all and you all had good constructive criticism to provide me. Thank you all and a special thanks to dawnstarling for having me as one of the first contestants in this contest! Thank you all once again for great experience!

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Author #3: butterballporkbun

Book: Alpha and Omega

Chapter: Chapter 6 - Page 5 (may contain slight violence)

Author's Note: I'm looking for Constructive Feedback and where I can improve.

Winning Comment: "Interesting concept and setting. I'm sure much of the confusion I felt when reading the chapter was because I had just jumped into your story without reading anything before this chapter. So yes, to me it was a little confusing as I don't know what the characters look like or if they are even good guys or not. That's no error of yours, though, as you don't need to explain everything that happened in previous chapters in every chapter. It has been said by others and I have to agree. Stick to third-person perspective when dealing with multiple points of view. After immersing into a first-person story as a reader you don't want to have to readjust your mind to another character's first-person perspective. Third-person perspective makes that transition smooth and effortless. I would suggest switching to third-person or having one chapter for each point of view if you wish to keep it first-person. There could be a little more description here and there but overall it was well-written. The action was quick but somewhat emotionless. I can understand this might just be because your character feels nothing when killing someone so changing that is up to you. The radio scene was well done but unless the characters know who is talking (which they might as this is the only chapter I've read) I wouldn't label who is saying what. Again, your characters might indeed know The Doctor and The Captain's voices which would makes sense but if they have no idea who is talking it would be best not to say who they are (unless it is a video in which case that works because they can see who is talking). Great chapter, interesting story, and as a Canadian I must say it has me guessing what is going to happen in Canada. :) I just might keep reading on. ;)" - GreatGustav

1st Runner Up: Swiftiegirl1010

2nd Runner Up: TheJarheadWars

Author's Final Notes: The reason I chose GreatGustav is because that user pointed out a problem I hadn't even noticed myself which was a couple too many POV changes, they also included a way that I could keep the POV changes if I still wanted it in first person. I decided to follow their advice because I know I can barely write good stories in Third Person which is my opinion. And now that I've taken their advice all I can say is that my book is that my book does look better :)

I like to thank everyone who commented, even though I knew my story was good they without a doubt gave me information on how it can be wonderful. And that's what honestly made it so difficult to chose only a few out of all of them.