Hey, Newt,

My mom wants to go on a small vacation before I go to college, but I don't think I'm going to go. Not only will I not be able to give you these letters, but I also don't think it'll be very fun. No matter how much my mom tries to convince me that the vacation will be good for coping mechanism for me. I'm not sure though. At least I have about a week left until she leaves so I have a few days to decide whether I'm going to go or not.

Speaking of dropping off your letter, all I can think about how you looked before they closed your casket. Your eyes were closed and you were peaceful. It wasn't until they placed your casket in the grave did I realize that I won't have anymore nights just staying up talking. I'm certain that I'm going to slip into my secretive self again.

I'm not sure if I ever told you this, but you're the first person I've opened up to. Ever. Something about you just interested me. I'm not sure how to explain it. Maybe it was the fact that you were the first person who told me you were gay.

Do you remember the first time we talked? I do. You ran away from home because you were scared of how your parents would react to you being gay. Luckily it turned out good for you. It would have probably been perfect if I hadn't been stupid. I know I apologized already, but I truly am sorry about that day in the bakery. I should have grew a pair earlier and just told her I was gay. You telling me to made me realize how much you meant to me and how much I needed you.

Did I ever clarify that when I was in the hospital for "trying to kill myself" I didn't actually? I was vague when I explained it, but my dad, who was taken away right after, beat me. This was one of the times when it was more than just verbal abuse. Honestly, you were the only boy in my contacts. Everyone else was girls that my parents tried to set me up with. One night when my dad was drunk, he took my phone and went through it. He saw our messages and was furious.

You can figure out what happened next, right?

It's funny, you know. You're dead and I still open up to you more than anyone else. Something tells me that that may never change. Not that I'm complaining about it. I just can't believe that this is actually who I am. Must not have realized it before now, I guess.

--Tommy ❤

A/N: Guess who's going to be in Colorado in a few hours!!! With that being said, I'm sorry if I don't upload. I'll only be here for a couple days so I'm trying to get as many chapters prewrote before I actually get there.