I'm not the same little kid I was all those years ago ...

I've grown in ways you'll never understand ! I've found someone who loves me for me and not for who or what I do in the world .

You choose a new husband over your daughter ... You choose the man who gave you diamonds and not the child who gave you love .

I've seen things mama ... And nothing you do can change it ...

And I'm no longer that little one I was 16 years ago ...

I've fallen into depression and I have anxiety attacks when I hear my alarm go off .

I have to chew on my straw so I know it's there unlike you .

Mama , I can still hear the crying . I was holding my little brother on a night like this one when you and daddy where fighting .

It was either money , or the boys ! You always said that daddy don't do no good and you should have stayed in Oregon but you didn't .

You followed him because you were 19... Pregnant and you were unmarried . Daddy married you in a heart beat so you could have a life . But you've taken daddy's.

Now you can go ranting and raving about daddy's new wife but I'm a fan . I like her ... She's been more of a mom to me than you have ever ...

Why did you hide this from me ? Why did everyone know but me ?

Your pregnant? Your having another baby with Mr. Perfect ?

You have two older sons , then me then my little brother . Why did you keep it from me ? And the worst part mama ...

Mr. Perfect wants to name the baby after his grandparents... Who share the same name as me ...

Mama ... I have to tell you something ...

I won't accept you or Mr. Perfect into my life ever ! Or your baby !

It's like you were satisfied with me ... And that's fine ... But he is ...

Daddy and his wife call me one of their pride and joys ...

Daddy and his new wife bought me a car , and give me more freedom than you would have ever ...

Did you get pregnant because I left ? I choose to live with daddy and his wife instead of you and Mr. Perfect?

Where you trying to replace me ? If you were mama , here's a news flash ... I'm irreplaceable... Like Beyoncè said !

With much teenage angst ,
Cruthie .

( I needed to vent )