Review from second judge!

INTEQAAM
By Crazy_Sidhantian

First of all, an amazing cover....simply splendid work on it. Both the description and the cover speaks a lot about the story and increases our curiosity to read all about it. The prologue was simply spot on yaar....it just took my curiosity to the next level, simply amazing.

Okay, so the topic or main plot, that is love, misunderstanding, revenge, realisation is a pretty common one but the way these things were moulded was pretty different and rare too. And the way the story was narrated, it was pretty strong and intense. Kudos to the writer for especially the narration, the way the words were arranged and the way some of the scenes were described made the plot really a strong and intense one, but there was incompleteness in the story. A lot of questions regarding many things were left unanswered and some mentioned in the story weren’t clear too. The reason of Sanskrit’s revenge, that was pretty confusing actually, just b’coz he saw Sanskar carrying Swara from there how can he think that they betrayed him, especially owing to the fact that he knew Swara doesn’t knw abt his twin brother ? What abt Sanskar’s reaction when Swara gained consciousness ? And main question, from what i have gathered after reading the fire incident, Sanskrit had died righht, then how come he was very much alove in the present ? Did he survive, if so then how ? Swara’s revenge could be still considered as valid, as she lost her child, so in the sense of a wounded mother, but then why didn’t she think more about the change in Sanskar, his bipolar behaviour and what abt Sanskar himself, didn’t he think deep abt his forgetfulness coz it’s mentioned in the story that he wasn’t drugged all the time. Many mentioned scenes weren’t properly described and many of the scenes, especially the first and the second half weren’t quite linked....a lot more questions are there and for sure, something was indeed missing and coz of all these that incompleteness had come. On the emotions and feelings side, it was very well described and mentioned, all of it were upto the mark according to the scenes.

The plot was really a good one, a rare one to be precise. It was a strong and intense storyline, could have been conveyed in a better way. Character exploration was not upto the point for me, it was only partial. I didn’t expect this reaction from Sanskrit after realising the truth....the way how strong the plot was shaped up, this wasn’t definitely the one I expected, or not even close to the one i expected. Description of the scenes was one of the main reasons of the story having the incomplete feel, many of the scenes if detailed, and many if included, then this would have been a best OS. The way some scenes were described were perfect, while some were incomplete. In the first half, I didn’t feel the consistency, or the flow but it was there in the second half, the consistency. Dialogue delivery was pretty good, but could have made better. The introduction was absolutely amazing, started off in a strong note, all the descriptions in that scene was mind blowing. But I expected a little more string ending, it was an incomplete ending to be honest. Swasan’s talk after Sanskar regained his consciousness was mind blowingly described.

Overall what i felt was that, this was a strong story. It started off on an intense note but lost its flow due to the lack of descriptions on scenes, inclusion of some and the link between some scenes. If those were taken care off, then this would have been a splendid and mind blowing story coz I seriously felt so it could be. The narration was a really amazing, especially some words used, and the descriptions on feelings and emotions, those were perfect. By the way the inclusion of the mashup song in the second half was a pretty good idea. I m really sorry if i have been a little harsh on judging, but this is honestly what i felt.

DENIGRATED
By aliya598

First of all, an extraordinary and eye catchy title, perfectly suits the story. The cover was also simple and a good one....goes pretty well with the plot, even the lines on the cover too gives an insight of whats in store for us.

The chosen plot was really a different and quite interesting one, though i have read stories with plots similar to these but I haven’t read any which was like this. Really loved the way the story was narrated. The plot was pretty strong one and needed careful moulding and you handled it really good and perfect. The way the plot was moulded was really appreciatable. Addition of many scenes highlighted the story, especially the court room ones, Sanskar showing his pain to Ragini nad a lot more....all of it were perfectly portrayed and conveyed. Some transition of scenes especially the flashback lacked a little smoothness, a little clarity was missing there....would have been better if it were a little more polished. Some grammatical errors were there as well, which would have been best corrected. And mainly the ending could have been a little more polished, that is the confession and union of RagSan, a little polishing was really needed in those scenes and it could have been made a lot better, especially RagSan confession.....I really expected a different one owing to the way the story was shaping up but it did reach my expectation, wish it had coz then this would without any doubt would have been one one of the best OS of this competition.

The character exploration was amazing and upto the mark. Not only the main leads, but most of the supporting characters were very well shown and highlighted, except for a little bit of Tara....she is the negative role over here, the villian, so if one or two more of her scenes especially her link with that politician would have been shown then it would have been good, especially the scene of how Myrah got the tape of them talking with each other...if that scene would have been shown in a little detail, then that would have balanced the fact that Tara’s character was shown less. Initially, i thought Mk’s character might be a slightly negative one but i really loved how u positively ended his scenes, especially those with Ragini. All the descriptions of the scenes were fantabulous, especially the court room scenes and the way Sanskar’s pain was showcased, that really gave me goosebumps. Sanskar’s entry could have been a better one but Ragini’s entry was spot on. Also the descriptions on Shekhar n Sanskar scenes were really good, especially highlighting Shekhar’s trust on him, there was scenes which were humorous as well, especially opthose with Ragini and her friends and of Ragini n Sanskar’s. I really loved all the scenes of Sanskar’s and Ragini’s, especially those of their childhood n teenage ones, how you showcased them although showing enemity in the outside, they still enjoyed those inside and I really loved how you portrayed especially with the song in between. The descriptive thoughts as i already said were mind blowing and really appreciatable. All the emotions and feelings were amazingly showcased and conveyed, simply spot on. Dialogue delivery was outstanding, you really did highlight some major portions of the story with just the dialogue and that’s really commendable.

All in all, I really loved and enjoyed this story. As i said, although there were some drawbacks in the story but at the same time u dominated the story with a lot of positives and pretty impressive points.so a phenomenal job on that.

Desi chhori ka videshi chhora
JaanviSinghania

I really loved the title, it was really an interesting one. Although the title is a at times used one, but i loved it since it screams a lot abt the story. I m in love with the cover, it is simply perfect for the story.

The plot was a simple and pretty good one. Although this is a mostly used and pretty common plot, but your way of narration made it a little different one. It was a simple one and i really loved how the story was moulded. I especially appreciate you for the using of the village language, that addition highlighted the story a lot and if two three dialogues on Sanskar’s tooti phooti hindi was also hiven, then it would have been really really good, coz from what is given , his tooti phooti side of hindi wasn’t there, would have really loved to have it. 

On description of scenes, there was incompleteness. I expected a magical or a little more loving meet of Swasan, coz u had given a strong build up in the beginning and the description of them first meeting or rather seeing each other was given but then how it was when they first spent time without elders was a needed one. More scenes showing their childhood strong bonding would have been a really good and needed addition. That small scene of their childhood was a really beautifully narrated and i also loved how their confession was shown that was realy beautiful, sven some humorous scenes were there, especially that pani puri scene, Sanskar and dog scene and Swara being the sherni scene, I really loved those. A little lacking on the emotions part was there....in some places it was perfect, in some it wasn’t there and in some it was incomplete. If these emotions and feelings were upto the point then a more clear picture on Swasan’s love story would have been conveyed....if u had added a pov on Swasan feelings after meeting each other before the confession, then it would have been perfect, that addition alone could have covered up or corrected many of the incompleteness for sure. Character exploration on Swara and Sanskar were good but a little more on the other characters would have been really good, especially Sanskar’s parents. 

The dialogues were all good, especially as i said Swara’s hindi ones, they were pretty good, but u know u could have added something on the emotions side as well, that would have really highlighted the story, atleast during their confession. I really loved the opening of the story, it was quite a good and pretty enjoyable one. Ending could have been a little different one. I mean this ending was nice and good but atleast a scene showing their parents acceptance would have been nice, that would have even covered the scene for supporting character’s character exploration. I really loved the way Sanskar answered when Swara said abt she being worthy of him or not....that answer was quite a different and rare one to be honest, i really loved that you added that one instead of the typical ones.

Overall this was a nice story, some additions did make it different from the normal plots and would have made it a lot more different and interesting if some more detailing and additions were there.

Justajoo
Sally_Blr

The cover was a nice one, but if some more effects was given to it, then it would have been perfect. I really liked the caption ‘kirdar wahi kahani nae’ on the cover. The title was absolutely apt for ur story.

Coming to the plot, it was a good one....a different way of giving a final closing for ur story. The reincarnation and rebirth was a very good idea, but if a summary of ur story was given in the beginning, then this could have been a stand alone one. I really loved the way the story was narrated. Character exploration was perfect to some extent but could have made better. An insight of Aditya and Zoya’s character in their past would have been a good addition. Coming to descriptions, it was absolutely amazing but there was a lack in a couple of scenes, especially Aditya and Zoya, u just showed a scene in their past, a little more backdrop regarding it was needed, atleast in one of their pov’s. And the continuation to the scene of their meet was not there, coz surely from the past scene, they were very much in love with each other, so that wasn’t the after meeting scene expected. I really loved the way u described Arjun n Aditya’s banter, it was superb and simply perfect...then later Ragini too joining them was really good...u described all of those perfectly. Flashes Aditya had regarding his past life was perfectly described. Dialogue delivery was simply superb, perfect and upto the point, dialogues of all the characters were amazing, especially Sarcasm n humour. Intro was outstanding. Ending was again an outstanding one, bringing back the genie showing Shehryaar n Ryah n then their rebirth...all were good.

All in all, it was an amazing one, except for some lack of scenes and descriptions here and there. 

Faasle-The distances
GS_Stella

First of all, a beautiful cover, simply apt for the story. I really loved it, n sort of gives a hint of what is inside. The title perfectly suits the story and it was very well justified throughout the story. The lines on the starting of the shot were simply beautiful. 

I m lacking words to describe what i am feeling right now.....i m simply speechless. Beautiful story and it was even more beautifully portrayed especially the way the story was narrated, first half in Swara’s flashbacks and present scenes and the second half the continuation of it. The way u chose to portray the story was a really good one and u portrayed it outstandingly. The plot u chose was a rare one and it was portrayed amazingly. U really highlighted Swara’s life, a widows’ life with proper descriptions, even the harsh reality of her life and the one she had with Sanskar, and also the one she wished to have with their Mahi. Character exploration was almost perfect. Swara’s character was amazingly portrayed, even Kavita and Sahil’s also but Sanskar’s character had a little lacking, a little more of him if was shown through Swara’s thoughts, then it would have been perfect. Description was simply outstanding. I especially loved Swara’s letters to her unborn, Swasan’s life, Swara missing Sanskar....those were the highlights for me. It was beautifully portrayed, and not to mention the serene, heart touching and love feel those scenes carried.....it was just mind blowing. A little description regarding Sanskar’s accident and about his family, especially of how they were to Swara after Sanskar’s death was needed and if it was there, then it would have been up to the point. Descriptive thoughts were perfect and up to the point, especially naming the baby as Amaya. Dialogue delivery was perfect to the point given in the story but some more parts in the plot had chances where dialogues could have been added. Intro was absolutely amazing and the ending was quite extraordinary.....it was really different from what typicaly happens and that made the story different, coz first I thought Mr.Maheshwari was Sanskar but later only realised it wasn’t. 

The journal was really a highlight and the way each and every thing was revealed, step by step, in the story was pretty appreciatable. All the emotions and feelings were really really kept up throughout the story, be it of love, of loss, of pain, of fear, of loneliness or whatever it may be...it was absolutely perfect and really upto the point. It was kept up throughout the story and the story really went in a flow and the transition of scenes along with the change in an emotion was all smooth and perfect. I really loved the way the story was presented, its really appreciatable.

Overall it was an amazingly amazing OS and if those slight errors cleared would have been the best one in the competition. I really loved the story and had a great time reading it.

Dreams come true
kitkatraglak

First of all, the title and the cover was good, but could have been a little more different one, nevertheless liked this one too. Rape and Prostitution were the two strong topics u had chosen n pretty much justified it too. The storyline was a strong one and amazing work on it.

The chosen plot was an amzing one and the way u moulded it was also pretty appreciatable. All the scene transitions were perfect and everything was step by step. Character exploration was good but would have been way better if u had explored the other characters, especially Ragini’s parents. One of the strong drawback of ur story was lack of descriptions on the second half. It was going really fast and in a rush, due to which some of the most needed descriptions weren’t there. You just mentioned abt Ragini’s being reluctant first and then accepting her but descriptions regarding that would have been really good, how Raglak’s parents accepted their relation. A POV on Laksh n Ragini would have given a little more insight on the feelings and emotions side, although emotions n feelings were mentioned, but it wasn’t upto the point. Would have loved to read a lot more abt their love story. Really expected a lot more descriptions n descriptive thoughts in the story, owing to the fact that it is a strong plot and started off strongly as well. The first half was written absolutely flawlessly, it was simply amazing....all the needed elements were perfect and upto the point there. Dialogue delivery was good, although it was less. Intro was absolutely amazing. I loved ur way of narration. Ending was an amazing one but felt a little rushed.

All in all, this story had great potential and it demands for a lot of things too which weren’t given or u can say added. If those needed things were added then this would, without any doubt would be one of the best OS of the competition.

Pyaar :ek lamba intezaar
AngelGoldieReal

A beautiful cover, simply beautiful. The title was perfect and very well apt for the story. 

The plot was the continuation of the show but it was amazingly portrayed, although there were certain confusions. The major twist and shocker was Sanskar being Sanju. But there are some confusions, like if Sanskar was not real, then what abt his past life with Kavita, did Sanskar say him to take revenge or something or why did he do that...i think if a description regarding that was given, atleast at the end when he confesses, this would have been a perfect OS. The emotions and feelings, be it of fear, of love, of pain or of anything was perfect and upto the point in it. All the descriptions were upto point and perfect, especially Swara missing Sanksar, her humourous reactions to it and the last scene were really really good. The lacking was family’s reaction on knowing abt Sanju, i felt that was needed as that is one of the strong points of the plots and a backdrop of why was he revenge minded if he wasn’t Sanskar, then it would have been absolutely perfect and a different plot. Character exploration was good, especially of Sanju’s. Descriptive thoughts especially of Swara’s fear was amazing but there was an incompleteness in other ones. Dialogues were awesome, especially Sanskar’s (or Sanju’s) in the end...that was bang on. And in some places much of dialogues weren’t used. Into was nice, could have made better and the ending was absolutely perfect, really loved it.

All in all a good one, with a little more working and descriptions, could have been a best one