It had been a mere few hours since my chat with Yunho and Yeosang and their words kept playing on my mind, conflicted probably isn't the correct word to use with how I feel about this situation.
Somehow I keep finding myself weighing up the pros and cons of this whole thing, yet keep finding myself confused.
Returning home at this stage would be dangerous, I have no idea how I'd be treated.. whether or not guards will overlook my disappearance or if they'd just execute me on the spot. Part of me doesn't wish to find out either.
Staying here however also had its own risks, I'd be classed as a Rebel, a thug.
Stealing food and god knows what else just to survive, then again I suppose it holds a greater purpose in the end.
Getting our lives back.
San telling me I can be as free as I wish whilst I'm here is probably one of the only things swaying my mind. I know realistically I can't go back, nor do I wish too.
My family however, I'll miss them.
A sigh escaped from my lips as I span my feet off the bed, rubbing at my eyes before finally getting up. Making my way over to the door, better go get that letter to my family issue sorted out.
My hand reached for the door to the planning team but before I could knock one of the guys from earlier opened the door,
"Oh, hello" he chuckled before give me a smile,
"Y/n right?" He tilted his head ever so slightly,
"Ah yes, I was told to come here-" my voice cut off by the other guy I met, Wooyoung i believe,
"Family letter is my guess" his eyes locking onto me as he shot me a cheesy grin,
"You guessed correct" I laughed, he seemed like a fun guy, matter of fact everyone ive met so far seems so down to earth, I'm struggling to understand how anyone can call them thugs.
"Thats no problem, what was your building number? I'll finish it up before we call it a night" a gentle smile forming on his lips,
"13" nodding his head as he wrote it down,
"Got it, I'll be sent tomorrow for you, have a good night!" His body sliding past me as the door slowly closed behind him.
My eyes darting around, it was getting late and alot of people seemed to be heading to their rooms. There were a mere few people left.
I couldn't help but want to find San, he was the only person I really knew here yet I hadn't seen him for hours. Only one place came to mind so I made my way to his area in hopes he would be there, my hands pushing the door open slowly.
Sure enough there he was.
In the corner of the empty room, working out.
He'd changed into some grey sweatpants and a black tank top, his muscles bulging from the weights he was holding. He didn't even seem to notice my presence in the room.
The beads of sweat glistening over his skin, he truly has an impressive body, I raised my hands up, holding my fingers up as I attempted to size him up.
His head turnt to me within seconds, my hands dropping instantly.
"If you wanna see how big I am, all you have to do is ask doll" his eyebrow raised at me as he popped the weights back on the rack,
A large gulp strained at my throat, what on earth did he mean by that.
"I wasn't checking you out" a slight stutter to my words made him laugh,
"I don't remember saying you were, seems like that's exactly what you were doing though" he made his way over, slightly bending down in front of me to be at equal eye level,
"Your ears are a little red" he smiled as his fingers trailed my ears.
"I was not" I turnt my head away, in hopes to calm down the ever growing burning sensation I was feeling all over my skin.
He stood back up straight grabbing a towel from his shoulder, wiping the sweat off of his face.
My eyes ever so slightly glancing back at him, his eyes locking back onto mine.
How does he catch me everytime.
"Was there something you needed" he perched himself onto a nearby seat as his breathing steadied.
"Not really, I just got bored"
"Ah bored? You should probably get some sleep, I'm not going easy on you tomorrow" another playful wink was shot as I awkwardly coughed it off.
"What exactly does the training entail?" I perched myself on the floor in front of him, eagerly awaiting his response,
"Well, tomorrow I'll just be grading your current physical abilities, then it'll be muscle training, a lot of work outs. I won't start you on hand to hand just yet" he closed his eyes, leaning back in the chair,
"Ohh got it, you should get some rest too, you look exhausted, see ya!" I pushed myself up from the floor in an awkward hurry before pushing the door open,
"I'll be up soon" he calmly said before the door closed behind me.
He'll be up soon? What on earth did he mean by that. I made my way back upstairs and flopped into the bed, staring at the ceiling just waiting for my body to fall asleep.
I found myself struggling to drift off, its like my mind was overflowing with information.
What really had me thinking was the way everyone wants to take out the rulers. Did they mean kill them? I can't picture what they mean at all.
They're all so heavily guarded that if you even step too close to someone higher up you'll be killed on sight.
They all train so hard though, maybe it's something they've been planning for a while? The first time I ever heard about the rebels was around 4 years ago, 1 year into the city becoming a prison.
Rumours of young people running and hiding away made its rounds pretty quickly, now seeing it firsthand.. part of me wishes I left then too. Would I have been a stronger person now if I had?
Now's not the time to reminisce the past I suppose, when I've just had a huge door to my future be unlocked.
Maybe if I work extra hard I can make up for all of my lost time, work hard for my family too.
Freedom isn't impossible, these people here believe it too, so why shouldn't I?
The eye candy everywhere isn't a bad bonus either.