Y'all got me dead.

Like going threw about 40 notifications for 10 minutes. Highlight of my day 👌👌👌
GUYS WE'RE LIKE 9TH PLACE AHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The book in first place is one of my favorite stories so if we passed that I would go crazy. Y'all got me dead for real though. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Trigger Warning: abuse (verbally/and/physically)

I hadn't been able to talk to Alex a lot lately. Finals are coming up soon and we've had a lot of football practice also. We still pass notes in class but it's not the same.

The bell started ringing. When I got to class there was a note where I sit.

'Meet me at the football field after class'
-Alex

I stuffed the note in my pocket. Last time I got a note like this no one showed up at the football field.

Once class ended I slipped on my letterman's jacket and went to the football field. I could see someone already there but it certainly wasn't Alex. Maybe football practice was supposed to start? No that can't be it. I'm on the football team, I would know if we had practice.

As I got closer I noticed Francis, and he defiantly noticed me.
"You actually showed up" Francis chuckled
"I'm here to see Alex." I said rolling my eyes
"Aw baby, you really think Alex wrote that note? I got Veronica to forge it" he smirked
"Don't call me baby." I muttered coldly
"Am I not aloud to care for my boyfriend?" He questioned
"I'm not your boyfriend dickhead"
"Hm, and Alex is?" He snapped
"Yes. Exactly."
"Is that why he cheated on you?"
"I forgive him......"
"Face it John. He doesn't love you. No one will love you except me."
"No..that's not true!"
"Yes it is!!"

Tears streamed down my face. Alex loves me! He said he loved me!

"Come on baby. You don't need him. I love you" He said smirking
"Ok..." I mumbled looking down.
"Great!" He held my hand

We walked together to lunch. Alex eyed Francis suspiciously before coming over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He snapped
"Walking my boyfriend to lunch. Is that a problem?"
"He's my boyfriend." Alex said protectively
"Oh no, he's defiantly my boyfriend. Right John?" Francis said turning to me. Alex looked at me expectantly. I didn't say anything. I looked down.

"Come on John" Alex said but Francis yanked me back. I yelped in pain.

"Let go of him asshole!" Alex shouted punching him in the face. Francis threw a punch but missed. Alex pinned him to a locker threateningly.

"Leave my boyfriend the fuck alone" Alex snapped
"You leave my boyfriend alone" Francis snapped back earning a punch to the stomach. This didn't bother Francis much seeing as he punched Alex in the face.

Francis grabbed my hand and started walking away. I glanced back at Alex before reluctantly following.

"Don't hurt Alex again." I said firmly
"I won't as long as he doesn't try to take you away from me" Francis spat. He kissed me forcefully not letting me pull away. I tried to push him off. Francis pulled away and slapped me.
"Don't try and push me" he snapped. I yelped in pain earning another slap to the face.
"Shut up" he muttered. I put a hand over my cheek in pain. The bell rang and I practically ran to class to escape Francis.

I sat down in my seat next to Alex. I saw Alex's eye was a bit bruised underneath.
"Alex are you ok?" I asked
"Are you ok? You're cheek is red.."
"Oh..um...I'm fine"
"Is it true? Are you really his boyfriend....?"
"Y-y"
"Why??" He cut me off "you promised me!"
"I know. I'm sorry" I mumbled tearing up
"What happened?" Alex asked
"He said you didn't love me and that he was the only person that would ever love me. Then he kind of forced me to walk with him..I'm too scared to argue with him. He'll hurt me" I explained as tears rolled down my cheeks.
"I'll hurt him." Alex said coldly
"No! He's dangerous! You have to trust me on this one. He can do a lot worse than just a black eye"
"Alright..you'll still see me right? And come over?"
"Of course I will. But Francis can't know about it" I said holding his hand under the table

~~~~

So people had seen me around with Francis and Alex and they certainly had something to say about it- but of course instead of saying anything to me face to face it's overheard whispers and notes in my locker. Alex saw one of these notes once and he was pissed.

*cool flashback scene*
"Alex really, it's fine" I mumbled stuffing the note in my pocket
"No John! It's not fine! You're not a slut."
"No no, I get it. It's fine"
"John will you stop! What has Francis done to you?" He asked lifting my chin so I faced him
"Francis hasn't done anything!" I snapped pushing him off of me. I was sensitive when it came to Francis.
"I'm sorry John" Alex sighed "but you're not a slut and I will hurt anyone who says you are."
*cool flashback scene over*

I went to me and Alex's locker. I quickly shoved the notes in my pockets so Alex wouldn't see them and get pissed off.

"Hey slut" Francis said leaning on the locker next to mine
"Let me take you on a date tonight" he offered. He can be sweet....at times I guess..
"Not like I have a choice.." I muttered under my breath. He slapped me.
"Answer me." He said firmly
"I'm sorry..I'll go..." I mumbled as tears rolled down my cheek
"Movies. I'm picking you up at 7" Francis said before walking away

"What a dick" Alex muttered under his breath as he got his stuff out of our locker
"Hey, he can be sweet" I shot back
"Key words: can be"

I didn't respond. What was there to even say?

"Come over afterwards?" Alex asked
"Yes! Of course..!"
"John, I'm not going to hurt you if you say no. I wouldn't do that to someone I love"
"I'll come over" I agreed

~~~~

I was dressed in a white button up t-shirt and jeans. I hoped Francis would like it.

I heard a honk from the driveway. I went outside and saw Francis's car. I got in the passengers seat.
"I-I got y-you this" I stuttered handing Francis a stuffed cat
"A stuffed animal? Do you think I'm some child?!" He snapped
"No no! That's not what I meant! I just knew you liked cats..." I mumbled tearing up
"Cute" he muttered "thanks baby"
"Mmhmm" I mumbled wiping away tears

Francis got to the movies. He grabbed my hand walking inside. I saw Peggy and Eliza. Peggy hated Francis and I didn't really want her seeing me and him out like this.
"Aw baby I forgot my wallet" Francis pouted
"I can just pay.." I sighed knowing he would do this. I paid for the tickets and popcorn. Of course.

We watched the movie. About 5 minutes into the movie I got up.
"Where the hell are you going?!" He snapped
"Bathroom" I replied

Once I was in the bathroom I texted Alex

~~~~~~~~
John: I miss you :,(
Lexi<3: I miss you too love
John: Alex, am I a slut?
Lexi<3: no.
John: what about a whore?
Lexi<3: still no.
John: really?
Lexi<3: really.
John: I love you..I'm sorry....
Lexi<3: it's ok. I remember you saying you broke up with Francis once. How did you brake up with him? Can't you just do it again?
John: I broke up with him the first time cause he cheated on me
Lexi<3: ...
John: gtg before Francis comes looking for me
Lexi<3: bye! Love you! ❤️❤️❤️
John: love you too :3
~~~~~~~~

I went back to Francis. He put his arm around me. As much as I wanted to I didn't move away. I knew it would result in me getting hit.
"Francis" I mumbled "do you really love me?"
"I'm the only one that ever will" he said in a matter-of-fact kind of tone
"Then why do you hit me?" I asked prepared to get slapped for even asking that
"Because baby, you need to learn." He explained
"But it hurts and Alex said-"
"I told you not to listen to Alex!" he snapped
"Sorry!" I squeaked hiding my face in my knees so I didn't get slapped in the face.

I know he says he loves me but this isn't love. Alex loves me. At least he says he does...