13. CEO of kissing the boys
a/n i got bored and i have 0 impulse control so double update 👀
ALSO DID YALL SEE KAIRIS TIKTOK AND HIS AND MATTIAS COMMENTS?
💀
20/3 8:41pm
jersey bois
slomo king:
Nah she ain't that cute
edgar allen HOE:
didn't know you were BLIND
robo the hobo:
amen 🙏
big boi:
eh
edgar graduate:
married boys don't get an opinion
cutest wasian:
oh cool you're all online
coolio
cool
big boi:
you good kai?
cutest wasian:
good minus the "ood" and add the "ay"
robo the hobo:
ayg?
edgar allen HOE:
ayyyy youre g?
cutest wasian:
im gay
big boi:
me too but only for you 🥺
edgar allen HOE:
SHES FINE AF WHAT ARE YALL ON
robo the hobo:
don't worry alv i gotchu bro
slomo king:
If that's "fine af" then sign me up for homiesexual with mattia
edgar graduate:
jfc
kai i guess i gotta murder the whole crew
cutest wasian:
brb.
robo the hobo:
why are you murdering ussss it's just an opinion and franKLY she's hot and that's that on that
edgar graduate:
shut the fuck up, rewind and go read kai's message before i hop over to kick your asses
slomo king:
Oh shit
Actually?
edgar allen HOE:
actually what?
robo the hobo:
???
big boi:
oH
wait
OH
@cutest wasian fr?
cutest wasian:
👍
slomo king:
I gotchu Kairi I support you
big boi:
me too obviously 💕
cutest wasian:
thx
edgar allen HOE:
ok maybe im dumb
robo the hobo:
me too??
edgar graduate:
he just came out to you morons
now say something nice before i gut you
edgar allen HOE:
OHH
robo the hobo:
OH OKAY
edgar allen HOE:
KAIII COME BACK ONLINE IM SORRY I LOVE YOU
robo the hobo:
PLEASE FORGIVE US FOR BEING STUPID MEN
cutest wasian:
all g
big boi:
love you kaiii
cutest wasian:
❤️
robo the hobo:
okay but why did it take me so long to get that. when you and mattia start dating i'll get it straight away i swear
cutest wasian:
wym???
robo the hobo:
you've kissed like tWICE
cutest wasian:
ACCIDENTALLY
edgar allen HOE:
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY KISS THE SAME PERSON TWICE
edgar graduate:
you be mattia and kairi ig
big boi:
it is what it isss
cutest wasian:
as if you guys haven't accidentally kissed someone before
slomo king:
Okay poll time: Alvaro, how many of the boys have you kissed
edgar allen HOE:
fat zero, as hard as mattia tries to change that
roshaun?
slomo king:
None as well
Robert?
robo the hobo:
nil over here 😔✊
slomo king:
Alejandro?
Ale???
edgar allen HOE:
uM @edgar graduate ??!
edgar graduate:
no comment
cutest wasian:
no comment
robo the hobo:
👀 EXPLQAINAN
big boi:
wait what the FUCK
when did this happen?????
edgar graduate:
like last year
cutest wasian:
okay but actually it doesn't count bc the question is about accidental kisses
big boi:
WHAT
edgar graduate:
kai ily but did you have to mention that,,,
cutest wasian:
🤡
edgar allen HOE:
HELLO??? CAN WE GET AN EXPLANATION
cutest wasian:
SOME OF US are DUMB and can't figure out their sexuality until getting help from a bro
edgar allen HOE:
"bro" oof rip ale ig
slomo king:
This happened last year? And you didn't know till now??
cutest wasian:
IM "SOME OF US", IM DUMB!!!
robo the hobo:
how did that even HAPPEN like "hey bro kiss me or youre gay"
edgar graduate:
it was more like "ale i'm confused" and me being a good friend
big boi:
we've kissed before how come you didnt ask me to help!!
cutest wasian:
maybe i got sick of kissing your crusty ass
big boi:
take that back 🥺
edgar graduate:
chill you're still the #1 kairi smoocher
#1 kairi smoocher:
DAMN RIGHT
slomo king:
Kairi's the CEO of kissing the boys
CEO of kissing the boys:
and what about it
#2 kai kisser:
i'll take my place as second then
#1 kairi smoocher:
bow down to your king bitch
edgar allen HOE:
@CEO of kissing the boys quick accidentally kiss me three times to make mattia look like a fool
robo the hobo:
me first 🔫
CEO of kissing the boys:
fam lemme book yall some appointments damn
#1 kairi smoocher:
say sike right now
CEO of kissing the boys:
mattia you know you're my main hoe
everyone else is my side piece
slomo king:
Everyone went from "imagine kissing your homies" to thirsting over Kairi real quick and honestly? I can get behind that
#1 kairi smoocher:
STAY IN YOUR LANE
#2 kai kisser:
sorry mattia but kairi's on the market and we're all swerving
#1 kairi smoocher:
not for LONG
robo the hobo:
do it. you won't
edgar allen HOE:
we've waited too long and now it's our turn! i want my accidental kisses
slomo king:
Why travel when I'm right here
Pros: Mattia doesn't beat you into a pulp
Cons: socks must be worn at all times from now on
#1 kairi smoocher:
when me and my bb kiss the socks are OFF
CEO of kissing the boys:
ale wore socks he's safe
for now 👀
#2 kai kisser:
keep joking like that and i won't be bc mattia will slit my throat
#1 kairi smoocher:
🔪
robo the hobo:
hm if only there was a way to claim kairi all for yourself
edgar allen HOE:
yeah imagine if there was something you could do to make you and kairi exclusive
slomo king:
Guess we'll have to keep kissing Kairi!
#1 kairi smoocher:
you guys are BULLIES who dont understand ROMANCE and yall need to stfu
it's a slow process
robo the hobo:
🐌
#2 kai kisser:
*flirts for months* mattia: wHY WE GOING SO FUCKING FASTTT
#1 kairi smoocher:
if it were up to me-
edgar allen HOE:
kairi really be pulling another "no comment" huh
CEO of kissing the boys:
no comment
edgar allen HOE:
ale we might need to plan another intervention
#1 kairi smoocher:
oh hell nah you guys are banned from "intervening"
#2 kai kisser:
it's not my fault that you can't make a move!! im just trying to motivate you!!
CEO of kissing the boys:
intervening? motivate? what
edgar allen HOE:
hey kairi lets go out sometime-
#1 kairi smoocher:
jfc FINE
kai bb. you, me, arcade?
CEO of kissing the boys:
ye sure!! also alvaro when did you wanna hang out?
robo the hobo:
phat F
slomo king:
F
#2 kai kisser:
F
edgar allen HOE:
f
kairi dw about it, mattia's finally stopped being a little bitch
#1 kairi smoocher:
GUYS I DONT KNOW HOW I CAN BE ANY MORE FORWARD THAN THAT
#2 kai kisser:
ig you could accidentally kiss twice-
slomo king:
Make a few tiktoks about being gay for each other-
robo the hobo:
make comments about how he's your baby-
edgar allen HOE:
have you tried asking him on a date-
#2 kai kisser:
huh okay
edgar allen HOE:
maybe kairi's the real little bitch?
robo the hobo:
oh, so kai was the dumb one all along!!!
CEO of kissing the boys:
dumb? 🥺
#1 kairi smoocher:
ignore them bb. see you tomorrow?
CEO of kissing the boys:
see youuu <3
#1 kairi smoocher:
<3
#2 kai kisser:
my job here is done
-
a/n im making kairi a dumb bitch bc when girls flirt with me i need to consult 7 different lesbians and compile a 100000 word report listing evidence and discussing possible theories for why they said that thing
don't you just love young love? hehe it'd be a shame if something were to happen to it- 😏
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