TURWAITHIEL

I couldn't speak. I felt the need to say something but no words would come out as we all continued to stare at Laralen in silence. She stood there, her blank stare glued to the blood that dripped down her arms.

She was shaking and yet I felt afraid of going near her. I wanted to, but my body would not budge. What was I afraid of? She was still Lara. She was still my friend. Her eyes flicker up briefly as Elrohir made a move to approach her. Legolas held him back.

Ari was staring, her hand pressed against a wound that needed healing. She was staring as if she had not understood what was happening. What happened. Her mouth opens like she is about to speak but doesn't. My mother, it feels weird saying it, but she stares as if it wasn't surprising. She knew the extent of Lara's powers and she knew what she could do. I tried to ignore the dead bodies around us and the blood around her but I couldn't. Because for a moment, she wasn't Lara. She was someone else. Someone who held great power and was hurt deeply.

"Lara," my mother calls out to her, taking one step after another as she got closer. Lara backs away, her hands were shaking clearly now. Her emerald eyes swam in fear and sadness. She was afraid. She was afraid of her own self.

"Child, do not be afraid, you are alright," my mother continues but every step she takes, Lara backs away even further. Confusion flashes across her features and Elrohir finally moves towards her, faster than my mother.

"Don't!" Lara warns, she puts her hands before her and most of the soldiers of Thranduil's army flinches. My mother's face flashes panic but she quickly conceals it. Elrohir does not stop but continues towards her as she backs away, practically begging him to stop.

"Please, don't make me hurt you!" She says, hands trembling and tears flowing. She stops backing away and lets Elrohir catch up to her and my heart swells and sinks at the same time. Why was I afraid of her? I felt ashamed of my fear which quickly vanishes as Legolas reached out for my hand. I turned to him, he had the same worried expression like all of us. Elrohir finally comes close enough to reach and touch her face. She flinches, but does not back away. She starts mumbling but she was too far away for me to hear but I knew it was not good by the way Elrohir's expressions shifts on his face. She shakes her head and turns to run away but Elrohir takes a hold of her. I make a run for her then, knowing that she is about to run away again but stop dead when she practically shoves Elrohir away, too strong to be merely called a shove as he stumbles backward and falls on his back. Elladan runs for him as Laralen cries a lot harder. My feet move and Laralen sees me, her eyes lock with mine for the briefest moment as she mouths an apology, her eyes were greener than they usually were and then she was gone.

No one ran after her.

I couldn't run after her. I stare at Bleon's body then stare at Mantheniel who was silently sobbing on Thranduil's chest.

"Will she be okay?" Legolas asks and my mother looks at him her own tired face making her seem like she had aged years.

"She is more powerful than any of us- she will be okay, but for now, let her grieve. Let her be alone," she replies sadly as Ari starts to lift Bleons body up.

"We shall bury the boy," Ari suggests as she looked around for a spot. I sometimes forget that Bleon was just a child. A boy. He had so much life in him. It was taken for some selfish purpose. My eyes flicker towards the direction where Laralen had run off. I could no longer see her or her golden hair. Part of me feels so much guilt, it was suffocating.

If I hadn't met her. If I had not...Bleon would still be alive.

---

We finished burying him by a river. For a moment, the world seemed empty. Like we were the only living creatures there. Even the river sounded so far away and unrealistic. The Sun was already at its highest, sprinkling little lights on the water. I stare at the skies reflection on the water and wonder for a moment were men and other races go to when they die. Do they have a haven of there own?

Do they reunite with each other on those lands as well? Will Laralen be able to see Bleon again? Something about it makes my heart constrict and I have to close my eyes to stop the tears from escaping. I was not going to cry again. I have cried enough. I had to find Laralen.

I stand up, turning around to find Elrohir standing by the river as well, holding a bright yellow flower in his hand. He was by Bleon's grave and we were, strangely, alone. He stood there like I was not right beside him. He was mountains away, with his eyes reflecting the soft flow of the river. I wonder what he feels right now? I take a step towards him as he bends over and places the bright flower on his grave. Almost like a silent promise, just between them.

"Elrohir?" I say his name almost too quietly, not sure if I should disturb him or not. Then he does the oddest thing. He turns to me, a small smile on his face.

"Turwaithiel, why don't we go back and join the others?" he says, and walks away before I can even begin to respond. Odd. I walk after him, sparing a glance back at the grave. We would have to come back and create a tombstone for it. I wish we could have done better. Elrohir and I walk in silence for a while, me a few steps behind him. We later join the others, already preparing to leave. Ari get's on a horse facing the direction where Lara had run off to.

"Well, it is time I go look for her," she says but was stopped by my mother, a hand on her arm.

"You should not venture on your own," she says as her eyes flickered nervously around us. "Take someone with you."

"I shall go with her," I say before anyone else could speak. Not everyone seems pleased with the idea. "She is my friend. I have to."

"Then allow me to go as well," Legolas offers and I hesitate for a moment. We almost lost him. We should not risk it. He has barely rested enough. Thranduil voices out my disagreement.

"You will not, you are barely healed." He says, shaking his head. A firm no. Legolas starts to argue when Elrohir speaks up.

"I will go," he says and no one argues. We all know nothing would change his mind. I give a small nod of understanding towards him which he returns. We all get on horses as Thranduil pulls Mantheniel closer to him. She was frighteningly pale. She even seemed to have difficulty in keeping herself up. Thranduil notices my concern and gives me what I would like to think a reassuring smile.

"I will take care of her," he says and nothing has sounded more true. My mother on the other hand looked torn. She eyes me for a moment before her eyes fall on Lindethiel, still wrapped in the arms of Falasdir.

"I shall travel back with them for now," she says as she turns to me. "Someone with our gifts must stay with them." she says, and I was not sure who she was trying to convince. She reaches out to me, a hesitant hand on my own.

"I shall await your return," she says. "I have much to say. We have just reunited and yet here I am again, leaving you."

"It is my turn to return to you, then." I say with a small smile. Despite the heaviness in my heart of all those years she had missed. All the years I had felt so alone.

I turn away from her, noticing the flicker of hurt in her eyes. I wanted to turn around and say she should not blame herself but I barely know her. I barely had enough time. I grew up thinking she had left because she was dead inside. Because she could not find a reason to stay anymore. Then she shows up out of the blue and just expect us to be a happy family again?

"I will see you soon," Legolas' voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I turn to him almost ashamed that I was leaving without saying goodbye. I give him a soft nod and his hand clasps mine. "Promise me."

"Legolas..." I say, not really wanting to promise such a thing.

"It will give me a bit of comfort," he explains as he runs his thumb across my fingers. I nod, " I promise to return to you. Always."

This makes him smile and then the next thing I knew we were off until he nothing but a small dot that disappears into the wilderness. The three of us, wander around the woods. Calling for Laralen and hoping she was not captured. Hoping we do not find her dead.

We travel around aimlessly until the skies turned dark that we had to stop and make camp. Everyone was quiet. Not really knowing what to do or say to each other. I wonder if Laralen is alright. She had always been afraid of the dark. I realized we could not longer hear the river.

Elrohir stands up then, and excuses himself. He wished to be alone. We don't argue. He walks off, until I could no longer see or hear him.

"He loves her," Ari says as she tosses a rock in her hand. Her eyes reflecting the fire between us.

"Yes," was all I could say. The curse was still here and I knew exactly what Ari was thinking. What a curse love was.

"He should not be so reckless," she continues and I turn to meet her gaze. "He does not know the extent of Laralen's powers or what she can- or accidentally- do." I knew she was talking about the power Laralen had showed earlier. The blood running down her hands. I shake the image away and picture Laralen by the fire, learning to read and write. My heart drops at the thought. She does not deserve such a faith.

"I hardly think Laralen would do anything to hurt him," I say, in defense of my friend. Ari gives a snort.

"Love is a mysterious thing but it is never enough to stop the corruption of a soul," she argues and I practically want to kick the fire right at her.

"You do not know Laralen-"

"You are right, I do not but I know what years of pain and suffering can do to a person." She says quietly and I close my mouth for a while. I was both angry and sad at how little she trusted Laralen. How little she trusted in Laralen's kindness and strength.

"Not to someone like her, she is strong and she will not give in." I say as I get on my feet and walk away from her.

"We should not be separated," she calls but does nothing to stop me. I keep walking. I had to get away from her. I wonder where Elrohir had gone.

---

ELROHIR

I could not do anything but wait. Wait until everything was better. But when will it get better? When will all these fighting stop? I was sad and infuriated at the same time and my heart...well, let us just say my heart is not where it is supposed to be. All alone in this god forsaken lands. I had to find her. She was obviously scared. 

I had known the pain of loss. I had known the pain of watching my loved ones suffer but with her it felt different. It felt as if my every being was ripped apart when I saw her expression. When I saw her face fall and her eyes lose their color. I felt like the world itself had no reason to be beneath my feet because I felt her pain. I felt her need to just be gone. How do we harbor such feelings for centuries? How do we learn to let things go?

Sometimes I forget she was raised as a human. She grew up with loss and pain. She grew up thinking there would be an end to it someday. The she will grow old and die and value the life she had been given. Now, it is different. For she is still human who gets to live forever. And I do not know what to think. Is it good that she gets to have more time to try and heal the wounds of years of torment had done to her? Or she is cursed with having to live the rest of eternity with a hole in her chest. A hole my father  knows all too well. 

I am afraid I would not be enough to convince her to stay. I shake my head, banishing all those selfish thoughts away. She is out there somewhere dealing with her loss and I am here thinking of ways to make her stay. When did I become so selfish? She is not even mine to keep. 

"Elrohir?" A voice wakes me from my musings and I turn to find Turwaithiel standing a few steps away from me. She was wrapped in a cloak and looked like she had aged within moments of travel. Her eyes still held with them the tranquility of the oceans and yet they felt so heavy. Heavy with guilt and sadness. 

"I used to think humans were lucky," I begin turning towards the direction of the River I had not lost track of. If Laralen could be anywhere, she would be near a river. "They would not have to be burden with years of pain for the rest of eternity."

"And yet we were raised to not become so attached to our emotions that we often forget what loss feels like," she adds. 

"And yet there is such a person who has such a human heart, that would have to deal with it for eternity," I continue and she goes quiet for a moment before I hear her approach me. 

"We must find her quickly,"  she says as she stands beside me. I give her a nod and point out the direction of the river. Where I think she might be. Especially now that it is dark. 

"The river," she comments yet does not make a move to walk towards the direction. Instead she stands beside me, unsure. Like how I have been for the past moments. 

"Why have you not approached the river yet?" she asks, almost as if she was afraid to. Like she was in doubt. I could understand her. She has not been exposed to the harshness of the world yet. Things like that still frighten her. I have seen worse. I have seen things I wish I could erase all knowledge of. And that is why I was not afraid of seeing Laralen. I was not afraid of holding her. What I was afraid of is what if she would not let me? 

Elves often die because of such heartache and I do not think I can bare the pain of letting her go. Was this what my father had foreseen? Was this the reason why he had his doubts of what I had felt for Laralen? 

Three seconds. It took him three. It only took her emerald eyes. 

"Well, it is now or never. Shall we?" Turwaithiel turns to me, a hopeful expression on her face and I am reminded of the days she was still a little thing, walking around Imladris and talking non-stop. I had a responsibility to protect her. I give her a small nod and we both walked towards the river. 

---

When we reached the river, she was there. Crumpled up beside the river bed, her arms outstretched and dipped into the soft flowing waters. Her hair glowed lightly under the moon, she did not seem to hear us as we approached her. 

"Lara?" Turwaithiel calls behind me. Laralen does not acknowledge her call. Something about it felt odd somehow. 

"Lara..." Turwaithiel calls the second time. This time more firmly. Still, Lara does not move. Her hand just keeps going back and forth in the river. When we got closer, I noticed her shaking. Her face had been blocked by her hair so we could not see her expression but I knew she was crying. It was a gut wrenching feeling, to watch her in such a state. 

"Oh Lara, we were so worried-" Turwaithiel starts, almost running towards her. 

"I am so sorry," Laralen's voice was barely a whisper. It was cracked and muffled by her crying. "I am so, so sorry." She turned then and a gasp escapes Turwaithiel's lips. On her neck were marks just like the ones on Mantheniel and Lindethiel and yet she seemed to be okay. She did not seem to be in any kind of pain. 

"I cannot risk any of you any longer," she continued, standing up and taking a step away. "I love you too much to put you in such danger. Please, I beg of you to let me go." 

"Don't say that," Turwaithiel cries beside me. She approaches her but stops when Laralen creates a ball of green fire in the palm of her hand. 

"Let me go, if you know what is best for you," she says as the fire grows bigger. Turwaithiel shakes her head and I am speechless. My voice has betrayed me and so has every part of me for they feel like they do not wish to go on. Laralen shakes her head and motions us to step back. 

"You do not understand, you have no choice. You must let me go," she says and that is when it finally hits me. The strong feeling of sadness and anger all rolled into one.

"That is not fair, Lara," I start and this seems to surprise her. She had not expected me to speak. "You do not tell people what they should and should not do. What they should and should not feel. We have a choice. We always do and when will you understand that no matter what I will always choose you. Have I not made it clear enough? What you are asking me to do right now is impossible. Might as well slice my own throat." 

She stays quiet but her eyes betray her. She is hiding something. I take a step to approach her and her eyes flicker briefly behind us before she  steps back. 

"Elrohir, please."

"Don't ask me to let you go," I tell her and she does not speak again. This is obviously not what she wanted. Something is making her say this. 

"Lara," I start when I hear a sound like an arrow being released. Turwaithiel turns first and stops the arrow from reaching the target with a dagger. Laralen's expression turns into panic as she shakes her head and looks at me with the same emerald eyes that took my life completely. 

"I am sorry, it is I that has no choice," she says and with that she throws the green fire towards us black fire surrounded us. There was that menacing laughter of the shadow queen as Turwaithiel and I are surrounded by the green and black fire. Then she appears out of nowhere as both fires connected. 

"I guess your faith in her is but a loss," she says and a carriage appears with the creatures walking behind it. 

"Come now, Lara, you have much to learn," she says and reaches a hand towards her. Laralen looks at us and holds my stare. I notice her hands moving slowly, almost as if she did not want to be caught. 

"Good bye," she says almost quietly when someone throws a dagger out of nowhere and slices right through her cheek. She stumbles backward and I step towards her only to be held back by Turwaithiel. I end up burning my hand with black fire but as soon as the black fire had touched me, the green fire flickered briefly and wrapped itself around my burned hand for a moment. A coolness washes over where it touched and it felt as if I had not been burned at all. I stare at her on the ground and her eyes finally reveal what she was feeling inside. She really did not have a choice. 

Out of the darkness, Ari came, she was more than angry. 

"Lara, I had high hopes for you," she says as the green fire continued to dance with the black. Laralen was not trying to hurt us, she was protecting us. But the shadow queen does not know of it. Lara, what is going on? Ari keeps throwing daggers at her and she keeps blocking it with her own magic. The Shadow queen watches them with a bored expression on her face. 

"I am not in the mood for games, Kill her," she orders and two of the dark creatures begin their approach until Laralen gave out a cry and green fire surrounded Ari. I heard Ari scream and panic rises inside me as Turwaithiel kept screaming for Laralen to stop. 

"Let us go," I hear the shadow queen say and climbs up the carriage with Laralen behind her. She gives a look of pain and regret before she climbs in with her and I have never been more confused. The dark creatures disappear one by one until we were left alone. 

"How do we get out of this?" Turwaithiel asks in panic and I look around us, inside our fire cell and notice that there was a portion wherein the green fire had taken most of the space. Big enough for a person to fit. 

"Follow me," I say and approach it but Turwaithiel holds me back.

"No one will be able to heal you! Have you gone mad?" 

"Trust me," I say even if I could not even trust myself. I trusted her though. I trusted Laralen. So I stepped through it without the slightest bit of hesitation and found myself unscathed on the other side. 

"How?..." Turwaithiel asked and I reach out a hand for her. She takes it and closes her eyes as she passes by.

"She had no intention of hurting us," I say and we both turn towards the flames that engulfed Ari who was no longer screaming. 

"Ari?!" Turwaithiel screams, running in full circles around the fire. "Ari??" 

She reaches a hand but the fire repels her, almost send her off her feet. 

"What kind of fire is this?" she asks me and I could not answer. Just how many things can Laralen do? Turwaithiel pushes through it but the fire keeps acting like a barrier. 

"Ari are you still alive? she would not kill her, would she?" she turns to ask me and I knew for a fact she would not but why trap her in such a state. Turwaithiel tries again, her palm against the raging inferno. Laralen's fire does not burn. 

Then something happened. From the palms of Turwaithiel's hands a warm bright glow shimmered briefly before the fire seemed to get sucked into her palms. I almost forget she is one of them too. Yet her gift is different. The fire practically goes inside her and she stumbles backwards with a loud thud. She was conscious only for a second before passing out. Ari was there, crumpled on the ground yet she was unscathed. Yet something about her seemed off. Especially how Laralen seemed to have trapped her inside a fir cell in such a way. 

This is getting more and more confusing and frustrating each day. 

Now I am stuck with two unconscious women while the woman I love left me with nothing but riddles.