Breaking my promise to Mady, the greatest friend in the world. I knew she would be pissed but hopefully understood why I waited to call. Leaving in the wee hours in the morning because sleep was not an option for me didn't mean that she wouldn't be sleeping. That was a few hours ago but since I had been on the road for a good 6 hours it was time for a much needed washroom break and maybe something to snack on since my stomach started to untwist.

Mady answered on the first ring. "Are you leaving? Do you have everything? When will you be here?"

Chuckling at Mady's mile-a-minute banter. I really missed her "Good morning Mady. How are you this fine early morning? Oh, I'm good thank you," I replied with the first humour I had felt in days. Weeks. Maybe even months.

"I'm sorry, just wound a little tight right now," Mady sighed.

I could picture my best friend as if it was yesterday: eyes closed, shoulders beginning to ease, while concentrating to slow down her speech and breathing. The image puts a true, but small, smile on my face. It had been five long years since we had seen each other, and I had to admit I too was just as excited to see her.

"Umm...I already left. Been driving for about 6 hours now." Admitting and waited for the lecture.

For a moment I thought we lost cell reception because there was nothing but dead air. Finally I heard Mady take a deep breath. "So you are going text me at every stop from here on in. And when you hit a hotel that you will be staying at. Make sure it's a decent hotel not one of those sketchy ones that you can pay by the hour." Was that a question or statement? Who was I fooling, this was Mady I was talking about. It was clearly a demand.

"Yes mm...yes ma'am," God it was still hard for that word to come out of my mouth without my chest feeling as if it was going to rip in two.

After a long tense quiet moment, Mady said, "You drive safe doll, and be safe. You hear me?" The concern in her voice was heavy over the phone.

I had been in a bad place for a long time now, but I pulled myself out of the worst of it. There was no way anyone was going to know just how bad I truly was. The problem was I was pretty sure Mady did know to some extent, no matter how much physical distance was between us. No one knew me better or most of my secrets like Mady did. Fortunately I don't think she knew just how close I was to hitting rock bottom. If it weren't for my own stubbornness, and the silent promises I made, I had no doubt I would have giving up on life a few months ago. Maybe Mady did know, hence the reason why she finally convinced me that moving was a good thing. Another reason why was because I needed my best friend. I needed Mady more than she will ever know.

Anxiety level rises, I stared out the window, wiping my exceedingly sweaty palms on my jean-covered legs. "You know you are going to give yourself an ulcer from all this worrying. I have my GPS locked and loaded, plus a map just in case. I also have places marked out for my stops...As you strongly suggested I do. I'm going to be fine so stop worrying that pretty little head of yours…Hey, why don't you tell that husband of yours to get busy with his husbandly duties to keep your mind off things till I get there?" Taunting her was always easy. Mady laughed, more so out of comfort while letting the underlying issue alone. For now.

"Yeah, yeah I know...um...promise me you will get here safe," Mady's concern and desperation rolled from her voice.

I didn't bother to hold back the sigh. "I promise...I will talk to you soon."

There was a pregnant pause, the kind before someone wanted to say something but does not really know how to bring it up without pissing off the other person.

"Whatever you want to say just say it, because if you don't it will eat at you and you know it," I started a little harsher than I meant.

Mady asked hesitantly, "Umm...Sam, how are you doing?" Then quickly added, "Please, don't get mad for me asking."

No matter how badly I wanted to snap my automatic response, being the most frequent question that people had been asking steady for the better part of the year (since the accident) it was my version of nails on chalkboard, annoying. I really did understand why Mady was worried, and her guilt for not coming down after the accident, even when I insisted not too. The thing was I could barely stand the sight of myself. Keeping my shit together in front of other people was a challenge, but doable. Keeping it together in front of Mady was a whole other story. Plus, there was the selfish factor, I did not have the energy or willpower to emotionally support her. I couldn't support myself and I was the stronger one out of us both. So I chose myself. Not letting anyone in to see me fall apart night after night. It was not an acceptable situation. I failed enough people and would not, could not fail her too.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, doing the very best to keep that calm, reassuring voice, but still firm to get the point across, "Madelyne Cathrine Malone," pausing more for affect, "I will answer this once and only once," softening my tone once even I realized it sounded to harsh, "I will be fine. I am fine, getting better, I swear. You know how the saying goes 'time heals all wounds. I will text you when I reach my next stop. Talk to you soon." I needed off the phone and out of this conversation now.

"Be safe and talk to you soon. And Sam...I've missed you, and can't wait to see you."

"Me too Mady, me too. Bye"

"Bye."

Signing off, taking a deep breath while pushing my hands through my hair, trying not to pull it out before jumping out of the car for that very much needed bathroom break.

* * *
Nate

Laying there quietly beside my mate and listened to the phone conversation with the famous Samantha McDowell wishing I could take the grief and pain away from Mady.

Mady and Sam had been friends for years and I was looking forward to finally meeting her. The stories that Mady had told were interesting at the very least and with that twinkle in Mady's eyes every time she told them I doubt I got the full version. Knowing my Mady I got the PG version. She had never held someone so highly like she did with her long-time friend. At times, I had to admit to that there was a bit of jealousy there. Not that our relationship was not close to being perfect, it was, but the way she seemed to idolize Sam was almost unnerving.

I met Mady in Toronto where she worked as an assistant for a company we were setting up a new account for a security system. As soon as my eyes landed on her, I knew she was the one for me. The confidence she had with her job with the underlying shyness when it came to anything personal was the sweetest thing about her. In my eyes, the most enduring quality about Mady. Within a month of spending every spare minute with her, I convinced Mady to leave her job and move; two months later, we were married and living in my town. With everything happening so fast, Sam was unable to take time off work to make it up for the wedding.

While his Madelyne grieved with and for Sam, all I could do is sit by and watch, and console her when she allowed it. Nothing I could say ever made her feel any less adequate for a situation that was completely out of her control. I really hoped that Sam's presences would help Mady understand and believe that she is that good friend that she no longer believes she was.

"Hun, come on back to bed, we don't have anything to do today," I tried to coax her back as soon as she hung up the phone.

Mady's smile was sad, which cracked my heart even further as she tried to pretend everything was fine just for him. That was my Mady, always worried about everyone else's feelings and not her own. Another reason why I loved this woman with all my heart and soul.

"I can't sleep. So I'm just going to get up and start my day," she said, walking across the room to the bathroom. Looking over her shoulder she added, "You go back to sleep," then closed the door.

Twenty minutes later when she came out of the bathroom. "Hun, come sit with me for a minute, please," there was no way I could have fell back asleep even if I wanted too. Her worry and guilt seeped from the bathroom.

Mady walked over and sat, "Why don't you get some more sleep? I'm fine, really." Avoiding all eye contact she towel dried her hair.

Smiling sweetly, placing a hand under her chin, lifting it so she had to look at me, "Mady baby, I love you and I hate seeing you like this. She will be here soon, please try to stop thinking so much. If everything you told me about Samantha is right, then I'm pretty sure if you don't forgive yourself for things that were not in your control, she is going to kick your sweet little ass and then. I will have to kick hers," I added with a teasing smile, the one that she fell in love with.

Mady's eyebrow arched up and said with a teasing tone, "I thought you got all hot and bothered watching chick fights."

"Well, only if there is mud and bikinis involved," wiggling my brow adding to the teasing.

She laughed; placing her hands on either side of my face before placing the ever soft lips on mine, then whispered, "I love you 'O' hubby of mine. Now go back to bed and get some more sleep."

I grabbed her by the waist, flipping her flat on her back before rolling top. Letting out a squeal of surprise out of her, she gasped. "What do you think you are doing?"

Tugging at the towel wrapped around her naked body until our chests were touching skin to skin, kissing her neck up to her jawline, "I'm doing my husbandly duties if you must know."

"You know eavesdropping on my conversions, Luv, is rather rude," Mady stated. When I reach that sensitive spot right behind her ear, she let out a tiny giggle.

"Well, Mate, you should know better to have conversations in the same room with someone with...extraordinary good hearing. Now since we are both up and I do mean both," pressing my lower region against hers.

"Oh, that you are," she said seductively.

"I can think of only one thing to do to pass the time," shifting my body between her legs. Moving slightly against her sweet opening so there was not doubt of my intentions.

"Oh my, Mr. Malone do tell what you have in mind." Seductive smile lingered on her lips and the heat in her eyes replaced all the pain that was just there minutes ago.

"I can do better than that Mrs. Malone, I will show you," kissing my way down her body, leaving not an inch untouched.