Chapter 11 - Alone Where Shadows Lie
It was not lost on me that Link only promised to find us, not that he would return unscathed or unhurt or even all in one piece. But for now, we fled. It was all we could do.
It was also not lost on me that I had no idea where I was going, nor how far I would need to go until we were effectively safe. But for now, we continued into the forest. It was all we could do.
It was, of course, not lost on me that everything was out of my hands now. I was not fighting because I could not fight, so all I could do was run. Link's safety is on him and him alone - no help, no assistance, not even his horse to ensure he was as mobile as he fought mounted units...
I never felt more useless. Actually, I felt worse than useless, because I had taken with me his only method of being on equal footing with those monsters. I mean, fighting monsters was one thing, but fighting those on horseback was another, even with a steed. So without one, how could he possibly...?
Hylia, this was awful. With each stride further into the forest, towards safety yet away from Link and any possibility of offering him help, the pit in my stomach grew deeper and deeper. I felt sick, almost physically so, though I knew it was all just anxiety, ripples of doubt and lingering worry merging together and coalescing into this awful miasmic mess localized entirely in my stomach.
But maybe... Maybe I could salvage this, somehow. I could not fight, at least not yet, or at least not effectively, but I could at the very least stay close, close enough that even after a long fight he could reach us, yet far away enough to be safe in the event he had to flee the monsters or had unknowingly led others to the site of the battle.
The fighting was not in my hands - but that did not mean that nothing was left to me. It wasn't much, but I would do something, anything, all that I could do.
"Alright, girl," I said to Epona, tugging back slightly on her reins, urging her to slow. She did so willingly, snorting a little as she did. "I think we've gone far enough, haven't you?" I chanced a glance behind us as I sat up straighter in the saddle. "No, perhaps not. Just a little further, Epona."
She continued trotting along, the bouncy, rhythmic gait falling away into little more than a simple mindless sensation I acknowledged only in the very back of my mind along with nearly everything else. In all my ruminations, in my planning for what I wanted to do and my lamentations for all that I could not do, I could not focus on the scenic nature of the woods we were in.
Necluda's lands were, of course, gorgeous. I knew that while living in Hateno, but as far as these new, beautiful areas - I never knew any of this existed. Looking at a map was nothing compared to the real thing, because a map was flat paper, noting only tiny details - "important" details, to a traveler. But far more important, far more interesting, was this: the reality.
And damn, if this wasn't breathtaking, and it was only a forest, one of Hyrule's many. But it was unique, because only this forest had these trees, these animals, these worn paths crisscrossing through it. That patch of flowers, hiding tucked beneath the underbrush, was one that I had never seen before and likely never would ever again - and still, I could not focus on it. I couldn't, in all my worry.
There was only one thing I could do as I focused on a point far, far to my left - a thunderstruck tree, bare of bark and naked of leaves - and that was to ensure I knew what I could and would do. I was forced to settle for that, just for now.
So, I would do well. I would make damn sure of that.
I did notice, barely acknowledging the fact that my focal point was now obscured by a denser grouping of trees, that beneath the thick canopy of trees, it was gradually growing darker. The sun was starting to set, and with it, all sunlight was being seeped from the land and would soon be replaced with shadow and for the land that was lucky, moonlight.
"This seems like as good a spot as any," I mused, pulling back on Epona's reins, guiding her to a stop. When she was still, grateful for the rest, I dismounted easily, more easily than I'd have anticipated, and that was probably because I wasn't exactly focusing on it.
I looked around the small clearing we'd settled in, and set my hands on my hips. Yes, this was as good a spot as any, but maybe better. It was rather well hidden among the densely grouped trees here, and all was quiet. If danger did find us here, we would hear it. The underbrush about the clearing was thick, so any dopey monsters would trip among it, surely. There was certainly no sneaking up on us here.
Because of the fact that evening was very closely approaching, and nightfall would soon follow, I decided not to push my luck too much when it came to looking for things to forage. Scrounging up a meal in the dark wouldn't be a good idea, so I figured I could check what I'd stored away this morning to scrape something together.
Before worrying about myself though, I approached Epona. "Thank you for getting us here safely," I said to her, reaching up to pat her neck. Brown, intelligent eyes met my own and though I wouldn't ever know for sure if she did understand me, she did a damn good job at acting like she did.
I took a length of rope from her saddlebags and found a tie had already been made about it; and knowing already what Link used it for, Epona bowed her head towards me. I smiled as I looped it around her neck, ensuring it was snug yet breathable before leading her over towards a tree on the edge of the clearing.
"We'll get this looking like a real camp in no time," I told her as I tied off the other end of the rope around the trunk of a tree.
Satisfied that she had enough room to walk, graze, and rest, I reached up and removed her bridle, hung it on a nearby branch, then carefully removed her saddle and all her tack. Replacing it all with a blanket, she nudged me with her nose as though to thank me before lowering her head to the grass so she could graze.
I crouched down to search through the saddlebags, though not without a distinct sense that I shouldn't be searching through Link's things, but I needed to find something for her to eat. After finding a satchel filled with horse feed, enough to last several days if supplemented with fruits and vegetables of which there were plenty of, it would surely be enough to last her until we all reached the stable at the foot of the Dueling Peaks to be replenished. So, I fixed her a meal, then left her to it to start setting everything up for Link and myself.
I cleared the leaf litter and twigs away from the center of the clearing, collecting loose stones and rocks and tossing them towards the center of the cleared area. When that was done, I gathered up anything and everything that could possibly be used as kindling for a fire. I circled the pile I made with stones, then realized with a start that it wouldn't be enough. I'd need to find wood, and lots of it.
Well, I was in a forest, so that should be easy enough... right?
I returned to the saddle and all the bags bound to it. Epona really must have been a strong, capable mare to have carried all of this and two grown Hylians upon her back without complaint. I noted this to her, and she seemed to take that as a compliment before continuing to eat. Happy with that at least, I searched among the mess for the source of metallic clanging I'd heard upon hefting it all from her back.
"Ah," I said, finding a leather bag that seemed to be the source of the sounds, "there we are. Whether what's in here is what I think there is, there's only one way to find out."
Epona watched as I unbound the bag, then opened it. My thoughts had been right - inside, there was a store of weapons, everything from an extra bow to loose arrows and all manner of things between, and... perfect! Snugly inside the bag was an axe.
"He needs to store these better, I think," I muttered as I pulled the tool out. Epona snorted, and I took that to mean she agreed with me. Taking the wooden handle in both hands, I stood and lifted it up. I had to adjust my hold about its handle, for the weight of the blade was more than I expected it would be. Actually, I adjusted my hold several times, finding that there was no comfortable way to hold it. It was heavy, yes, but surely I wasn't that weak?
I suppose an entire life without using a tool like this would do that to me.
Well, it wasn't like Epona could cut a tree down, so I crossed the clearing to the other side so I wouldn't bother the mare with my work. I looked down at the blade of the axe as I came to a stop before a tree - an oak that seemed to be rather young, for how small it was. Still, it was a sizable tree, its branches not quite reaching the canopy above it, but if all went well here, it might not ever get there.
I drew in a deep, steadying breath before lifting the axe up further. Because I'd never done this before, I didn't know how to stand, how to hold it, or what the most efficient way to do this was. But I stood with my feet about shoulder-width apart, angled my hips away from the tree and my shoulders further, and prepared myself to swing.
And then... I swung.
I suppose that, if anything, I could be grateful for the fact that I hadn't missed the tree. After prying the axe from the tree, I set it down only briefly to look at my hands, for they stung all in that moment and I nearly hissed aloud if not for the shock flooding my system. My palms, normally soft and unblemished... now with inflamed skin, smoothness roughed away by the handle of the axe and the force of the impact with the tree.
It hadn't hurt terribly badly though, and even if it did, this needed to be done.
Emboldened by this, I lifted the axe back up. On my second swing, I missed the mark I made the first time entirely. On the third, my aim was true, but the cut was shallow and weak.
This would take some getting used to.
But there was nothing else to be done. Link was fighting. His safety was in his own hands - but I'd be damned if I would fail at this and require him to build camp for us after fighting such threats.
So... I continued.
—
I was just tossing another log to the fire and was about to re-pile the set beside me to give my chilled fingers something to do and my fretful mind something to focus on when I heard a noise. It was only notable because it was not a natural sound - it was a branch snapping in half. Those didn't tend to snap in half on their own, so it was either that something or someone stepped on it, or the golden goddesses themselves were altering reality to make it so that twigs did snap in half by themselves.
One was certainly far more realistic than the other, so my entire body instinctively tensed as my mind tried to catch up. Hylia, my mind tried surpassing my instincts, trying to reason that it was just a deer, or a rabbit, or maybe even a wild horse - anything but a monster.
I hadn't even considered for a moment the possibility that it could have been Link as I took the axe - which I had left nearby - in hand and stood. My movements were slow and measured, and I dared not make any noise, not until I knew what had caused the sound. There, nearby, was the sudden rustling of a bush, and then...
Link stepped into the warm, golden light of the campfire, having to step over one of the sizable piles of underbrush that I'd cleared away before starting the fire. He was looking down at his slate, and didn't seem to notice me, not yet, and certainly not the fact that he'd made it to the camp. He'd have walked right through the fire if I hadn't called out to him, and at long last, he stalled mid-step, and his eyes met mine.
They were tired. No, worse. They were exhausted.
"Link," I said once more, "you're back."
It was a useless statement, this I knew. And yet, it made him smile, and so I smiled, too.
"I am," he said, and his voice was distinctly rough, dry with exertion and low with exhaustion. "And... you made camp."
"I did," I replied, recognizing his own useless comment.
It was obvious I had done it, because Epona couldn't have and of course he didn't, but all the same he looked... proud? I couldn't quite tell, but his eyes were alight now, filled with some measure of joy, and I couldn't help but feel my heart warm at the fact that I had contributed to that, at least somewhat.
"I figured you'd be tired after your fight," I told him, gesturing to the fire. "So, I... set up a camp."
"It looks great," he said, and for his part, it sounded genuine. He set his hands on his hips, and strangely, he looked not at all like he just fought for his life, but more like he'd just woken up, with a spring in his step.
Goodness, this guy was strange. So strange.
"And you found my axe, I see. One of them, anyway."
"Well, I had to... wait, what?" I laughed at the absurdity of it all. I didn't imagine he was lying about this of all things, but I looked at him incredulously all the same. "What did you just say?"
"I typically keep this one on me," he said, removing from his back an axe that looked about identical to the one currently in my hands. I laughed once more, because honestly, I couldn't keep up with him. I just couldn't. "And actually, it came in really handy during that fight!"
His eyes practically sparkled as he spoke the words aloud, and he spoke with such excitement about something undoubtedly so incredibly taxing that I found it hard to believe he was talking about fighting monsters, of all things.
"So," I said, "how did it go? You don't look... Hylia, Link, you're hurt!"
To think, I was just about to comment on how he looked uninjured, but here he was, clearly injured! And he was just standing and talking to me, while still bleeding from a wound in his arm?
"Huh? Am I? Oh, I guess I am," he said, finally locating his own injury.
"How did you not realize? Did you not feel it?"
"I think I remember getting it," he said, shrugging, "but it was kinda towards the start of the fight so I didn't have time to do anything about it."
"So, what are you going to do about it, then?"
"Erm... Nothing, I guess."
The axe fell from my hands with a clatter to the dirt below, and I was crouched at the pile of my various packs within the very next moment, rummaging through them to find where I'd stashed some medical supplies. I had a feeling that someone would get hurt on this journey, brief though it is and close though the destination was, but I hadn't figured that it would be him.
"What're you looking for?"
"Something to help you," I answered simply, finally finding a roll of bandages. I then stood, approaching the fire with the bandages. "Come here," I said, gesturing for him to join me by the fire with a gesture of my head as I knelt before the fire. Hesitantly, perhaps due to the credit of his confusion, he followed, but didn't sit down beside me, not yet. "What's wrong?"
"What are you going to do?"
"Do you always ask so many questions?"
"Will you always answer my questions with more questions?"
"Alright, alright," I conceded. "I'm going to patch you up, as best I can."
"How?"
"I'll figure that out once I see the wound," I said, meeting his eyes surely. "I can't know for sure unless you let me see it." My eyes softened, for he still stood so defensively, holding the wrist of his injured arm gingerly, as though the pain of sitting down and letting it get taken care of was worse than the pain he was already feeling. "You seem nervous, Link. What's wrong?"
"I... Um... It's going to hurt, isn't it?"
I couldn't help it. I smiled.
"It might," I told him honestly, "but I'll be gentle, I promise. If it really starts to hurt, just tell me, and I'll stop."
After a quiet moment's hesitation, one in which I looked back at the bandages in my hand and the canteen looped to my belt, the only things with which I had to help him at the moment. I gave him the time to think, and decided not to pressure him further. If he really was that adamant about refusing my help, then who was I to push? We'd only just met, and I had no idea how he handled his own wounds when inevitably he got them.
So... oh, goodness, this was embarrassing. What if he could handle them just fine on his own? What if I was just being pushy? What if I had just ruined any chance of us becoming friends, becoming close-
Suddenly, but incredibly gently, as though I was going to back out, Link was settled beside me in front of the fire, looking away bashfully and holding his injured arm towards me.
"You're sure, Link?"
He nodded and, without needing more permission than that, I got to work. I rolled the sleeve of his undershirt up, but not without first pulling any frayed threads out of the way and out of the wound. It was a thin cut, but deep enough to have gone right through his sleeve and into his skin. It wasn't terribly long, and likely wouldn't scar, and it looked less like an intentional wound granted by an enemy and more like an accidental graze against something.
I didn't think to ask, and it wasn't like it mattered. For now, all I needed to focus on was helping him, and so that's exactly what I did. I held loose cloth in one hand, poured some water over it with the other from my canteen, for it was the cleanest water I could hope to have at the moment, then took his arm in hand.
I pressed the cloth to his wound with a gentle touch, but knew already that it would sting. And it did, clearly, because he hissed with pain, recoiling away with his entire body except for his arm, which stayed perfectly still in my hand.
"I'm sorry," I said genuinely. "But it has to get cleaned. Letting it get infected would only make things worse for you."
"I know," he pressed, "but ouch!"
I smiled indulgently at his childishness as I cleaned the wound as best I could, then set the cloth beside me to be replaced by the roll of bandages. He was still and quiet as I dried the wound then dressed it, winding the bandage around his arm until it was good, snug, and perfectly covered. I cut the bandage to length, tied it off, then sat back.
"There, now," I said. "All better."
"Thank goodness," Link said through a grateful sigh. He seemed to deflate then, and that is to say that he seemed to relax entirely.
"I'm only sorry I couldn't be more help," I said, looking towards the fire.
"Huh? What do you mean?"
Distinctly, I could feel the sensation of eyes trained intently on me - but for now, I chose not to meet his gaze. I watched embers fly up into the air, and listen to the crackling of the wood burning, and somewhere far off, the chorus of crickets all singing their tunes.
"If I could only fight," I murmured, "I'd have been there to face those monsters alongside you.
"No," Link said firmly. "I'm not... I refuse. So long as we're traveling, you're not fighting."
At that, I looked at him incredulously. I all but balked at him, because how silly a thought was that? For me to not fight at all... did he mean for me to remain defenseless?
"Link, what? What if I get caught alone, and don't know how to fight? What if monsters had found me here?"
"Run," he answered right away. "Never fight. Hyrule is dangerous, and you acknowledged this before coming with me. I'll not have you-"
"-I'll not be complacent and defenseless and useless my entire life," I argued right back, my eyebrows pinching together and my eyes narrowing. Our body language mirrored each other; angry, defensive, unwilling to back down.
But... there was also hesitation here. I did not want to upset him. And... if I was reading his gaze right, he didn't want to hurt me, either. Through all that though, it seemed that he felt so strongly about me not having to fight that the fear of hurting me - his current traveling partner - was forgotten, or at least pushed to the side.
However, I was not going to back down. Not now. Not about this.
"I want to be able to fight, Link," I pressed.
"I want you to stay safe," he countered. "Is that why you didn't run right away? You thought I'd let you fight them with me?"
"It shouldn't be about letting me do anything," I nearly spat. "I risked myself for my village with no fighting experience. If I only had some training, then-"
"No," Link cut in. "Absolutely not. If I train you, and you get hurt..."
"Will that be better than if I run then find more trouble? Or get chased? Or get caught somewhere without you to help?"
"You are here to accompany me to Kakariko, then back to Hateno, and nothing more," he said, and I was taken aback by how well his eyes caught the firelight, illuminating them not with the fire of courage that I was by now accustomed to seeing, but rather of anger, of... of trepidation, of fear.
What he had to fear, exactly, was lost on me. Link was strange, that was obvious. And it was also increasingly obvious he was hiding something. Waking up somewhere with strange technology, being trained as a knight despite the order being completely wiped out a century ago, now being so adamant that I don't risk myself unnecessarily despite us having just met...
Despite it all, I was determined not to give in. But there was something in his eyes, something hidden away yet also incredibly obvious...
I didn't know what it was. Just as I was determined not to give in, and to be able to fight, I was also determined to get to the bottom of this, to the bottom of who he was.
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