Chapter 11

I took a look at myself in the mirror and felt beautiful. I didn't need my affirmations to tell me what I now believed was true. I woke up feeling refreshed. Going out on my own was scary yet it felt exhilarating. The group of girls that danced with me seemed to have known this wasn't my element as they stuck by me the entire night. A few of them I even went to school with.

I came home and slept like a baby, but not before texting Vincent and Meg briefly telling them about the fun I had.

Now I felt that after the night I had it was time I faced the bigger setback. I felt strong in the situation.

Did my heart still ache? Of course. But I was okay.

"Mom, I'm going for a drive, do you need anything?" I yelled up the steps.

"Can you stop by Betsy's and pick up a pineapple cake?" She yelled back.

"Got it!"

"And honey?" Her voice was softer now as she stood at the top of the steps. "Don't let that boy dim your light again." She said with a knowing smile. I wasn't sure what she was talking about, but I nodded my head and grabbed my keys.

The whole time I've been back home all I really wanted to do was see the city one last time. I've been riding around taking in everything, not stopping in just one place. It was nice. I drove around for another ten minutes before I made it to the lake. It was one of my hiding spots. Not much of a secret but I felt it was my little safe place. I often came out here with Malcolm and just sat. The lake was beautiful at night. The stars shining on it like a giant disco ball and the water was the dance floor.

I climbed the small hills until I got to our spot. I took out my phone and snapped a few pictures of the scenery, how vibrant my phone made the colors look. I thought back on all the memories I had with Malcolm here, and only felt the sadness of the lost time. Saddened that such a beautiful place was almost tainted by horrible actions.

With Malcolm on my mind, I didn't feel the anger or pain that accompanied his name. I was truly okay with how things turned out. I grew into a stronger, more confident woman. One who didn't see herself as being a control freak, only one who takes precaution. With the help of Lenny, Megan, and Vincent I came to the skin I'm in. I took one last look and got back into my car, ready to face my reason for this drive.

Yet that didn't stop every possible scenario popping into my head. Even though I felt like I was ready, that feeling could shatter the second I lay eyes on him. Before I climbed back into the car I pulled out my phone and dialed the one person I knew would be able to help me through this.

"Hey Sweets, what's up?" Vincent asked, sounding really happy. It helped to lift my mood even more.

"Hey you." I laughed. "So, I'm getting ready to face the biggest part of my past and I wanted to hear your voice beforehand."

"Well seeing as how you rarely talk about anything in your past besides your mother, I would say this is a huge step for you. How are you feeling about it?" He asked genuinely curiously.

"Honestly I think I'm okay. I don't feel that hurt anymore, or the sadness, or the pain. I just feel like me. Whereas a month ago I couldn't think about it and didn't want to cry my eyes out. The night of your set had marked a year that I was supposed to have gotten married. The songs you sang just brought back everything." I felt okay with telling him this now. We were friends and he always listened with a reasonable ear. Megan would make serious jokes about the whole situation, but right now I needed solid ground.

"Well, then I agree. I think you are ready to finally put that part of you to rest and continue on this amazing journey I see you're on."

"Thank you, Vincent, for always listening. I promise to tell you the whole story when I get back."

"Any time Sweets. Whenever you're ready I'm always here. You enjoy the rest of your day and I'll see you bright and early at the airport."

I hung up and finally headed to the place I was supposed to have called my home. It was a nice house that Malcolm and I purchased a week before the wedding. It was our gift to each other, something we could grow a family in. Because of the wedding, I hadn't had the chance to move any of my things inside, and right now I was really grateful for that matter.

I was told he now shares that home with Joelle. They had made their relationship public three months after I fled. She was moved in a week later.

I took a deep breath before giving a solid knock. I looked down at the message Vincent had sent me earlier this morning.

'"I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen." – Ernest Hemingway. I'm always here for you.' I wasn't sure why he sent it, but it was certainly what I had needed waking up.

"Emory." My name was a whisper on his lips as he stared with a shocked look.

"Hi." I waved now feeling nervous. He stood there not really knowing what to say. "May I come in?" Malcolm quickly nodded his head stepping aside so I could enter.

"I love the decorations." I said honestly. It looked way better than what we had thought to decorate it. I expected nothing less, Joelle always had an eye for things of this nature.

"Babe, who's at the door?" I hear Joelle as walking down the steps. She stopped midway when I came into view. It felt like time stood still as everyone stood around staring at one another waiting for the bomb to drop.

I was okay with coming here, and now that I was here I didn't know what to say to either of them.

"So what brings you by?" Malcolm finally asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. I tore my eyes away from Joelle and really took in his appearance. He seemed to have aged slightly since our last encounter.

"Honestly, I don't even know anymore." I said truthfully. They didn't deserve to hear what I had to say, and I no longer needed an apology from Malcolm to move on.

"I'm surprised you even showed up unannounced." Joelle said. The tone in her voice gave off the sense she was trying to pick a fight.

"Yeah well, I'm full of surprises nowadays." I shrugged my shoulders. "I thought I wanted an apology from you, or to at least hear you out. Yet, as I stand here I realize I don't need any of that."

"Apology?" Joelle looked confused. "What exactly is he apologizing for? You let him on your wedding day, with not so much as a goodbye. You disappear for an entire year with no form of contact and then you show up with the audacity to ask for an apology?" She was on defensive mode now. Taking a threatening step in my direction. Nothing she did anymore phased me. Before I would have felt bad and apologized for no reason.

As I thought of her words, I then realized she was right. I did leave suddenly and spoke to no one but my mother. I had made her promise to not speak on the infidelity Malcolm brought into our relationship, or the betrayal Joelle threw at me. I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me or give me pitying looks. It was unwarranted and uncalled for.

The fact she's defending him this way tells me either they know I had found out or they honestly don't know why I left.

"Yes Joelle, I would like to hear the man I had considered my best friend give me a verbal apology. The man I had wanted to pledge my life to at one point apologize to me. I want Malcolm Gaven Richards to apologize for how he treated me." I stood tall with my spine straight and shoulders back.

"Then when he's done I want you Joelle Sims to apologize too. Then I want you both to apologize for ruining the happiest day of my life." I wasn't sad or hurt anymore. Standing before them, at this moment, I was angry.

"Em, what are you talking about? What are we apologizing for?" Malcolm finally spoke up.

I gave them both confused looks. They couldn't be serious right now?

"Where do I start? First, you never loved me from the beginning, only putting up with me because we had such a history together. You were feeding into my fantasy of being high school sweethearts. You never truly wanted a relationship with me. Then you only stayed when you found out what my inheritance was. You were just buttering me up for the kill. A kill that wouldn't have been successful, if you had taken the time to even pay attention to me."

I couldn't control my words any longer. The hurt and pain were quickly turning into anger and I knew I needed to let it all out.

"As you for you." I pointed at Joelle. "You only continued to hang out with me to get to him. You never wanted to be my friend after I introduced you two right? You saw an opportunity to snatch what wasn't yours and you took it. Using me as your little sidekick in your games."

"Neither one of you really gave a damn about me! You both were only using me for your own selfish reasons. What made it even worse was the fact that you were both so good at playing your rolls I was too blind to see what was really going on right in front of me."

"Neither of you can stand here and say you don't know the real reason I left. There's no way in hell I'm buying that." I stood silent for a moment awaiting an answer that I knew wasn't coming.

"I freaking saw you two ON MY WEDDING DAY having sex! What else was I supposed to do? Stay there and marry him like an idiot knowing what I saw. You two were scheming behind my back in the dirtiest way any friend could. It rusted both of you with my life and that was the kind of thanks I got for it?"

"Witnessing what I saw at the wedding broke me in ways I never want to be broken." Tears now threatened to spill, but I held them at bay. "Malcolm, instead of brushing me off and treating me like a leech, you should have been trying to find ways to help me get through my struggles. I tried my hardest to be okay with everything but after my father, I just couldn't do it and you treated me like a burden."

"I'm not broken! I'm not a control freak! I'm not scared of life. I was scared of failing! If you were truly my friends, my partner, you should have seen that. You should have tried to understand that but no! All you two wanted to go was--"

"I'm pregnant!" She blurted out, effectively stopping me in the middle of my rant. I just stared at her as her words echoed in my mind. Did she really just say that? All thoughts of what I was saying was lost in the air. Floating away like a feather drifting away with the wind.