~With Arata; May 23, 2020; 3:30 AM~

I was sleeping away in my dreams, just wanting to live another day.

However, I was woken up by a text from mom and it seemed alarming, so I opened up my phone to my messages, and I saw the one message that I thought I would never see.

Mom: 荒田電話してください。 緊急です。 (Arata please call me. It's urgent.)

I then called mom and I had to know what was wrong.

Me: ママは何？ (Mom what is it?)

Mom (voice cracking): 病院へ行かなきゃ。ハナだよ！ (You gotta get to the hospital. It's Hana!)

I thought it was a joke, but I had to know because she sounded serious.

Me: 何？！ (What?!)

Mom (voice cracking): 息子よ。病院に来てください。家族は今あなたを必要としています。 (Son. Please come to the hospital. Your family needs you right now.)

Instead of staying in bed, I got out, put on some clothes, ran to my car, and started driving,

When I finally got to the hospital, I immediately ran to the ER, where the doctors were, but I was not ready for what I'm about to witness.

As I talked to a doctor, frantically trying to find my family...

Me: アレクはどこだ？そして私の娘はどこだ？ (Where's— where's my family? And where's my sister?)

I then looked over his shoulder and I saw Alek and mom, around Hana, but Aleki, laying his head on my sister's legs, I heard a whimper, but then Alek just wailed as loud as he could go.

I didn't need any context to know that Alek's wailing just told me that my sister has died. I couldn't hold it in as I came over and just started having tears down my face, as I oversaw my sister's lifeless body.

I was just in disbelief and so upset about it all that I wish she wasn't dead.

Me: 彼女が死ぬはずがない。そんなことはありえない。私自身の妹です！ (She can't be dead. She can't be. MY OWN SISTER!)

I then started hitting the concrete wall this time with a closed fist, just with tears coming down my face as my mom tried to calm me down, but she couldn't as I took a chair and just threw down, not caring if I was making a mess.

Eventually, mom hugged me from behind and shushed me, trying to soothe me as I just bawled my eyes out.

I really couldn't believe that Hana had died. I really thought she was fine because I always talked to her, every single day, but she never said anything about what she was going through, even when I asked her if she was okay, Hana never said a word.

Then, I picked up my phone saw news reports about my sister passing from all over the world and tributes were FLOODING across social media, including my sister's best friend and mentor, Kaori Hosako, AKA Kairi Sane in WWE.

She reached out to me and said...

Kaori: ごめんね、アラタ。こんなふうに終わるとは思わなかった。私は今、あなたとあなたの家族のことを考えています。 (I'm so sorry, Arata. I didn't think it would end like this. I'm thinking about you and your family right now.)

I really couldn't believe that Hana's gone. She really is gone and I know for a fact that she's been getting hate for NO REASON, telling her to commit suicide and just off herself from the world.

I then looked on social media to see the tributes pouring in, and there were three I saw...

Translation: There is nothing more sad than this.
I still can't believe it, I still can't accept it.

I appreciate Masami for tweeting that, along with many others, but it was the worst feeling in the world. My sister's gone, who happened to be Aleki's fiancée. I was going to become his brother-in-law, and we all loved Hana and to know that she's gone, it's something that I don't know if I can live with myself.

I wanted to call Natsumi and let her know about what happened to Hana, but I think she already know from the report.

~June 21st, 2020~

My sister's memorial show was tonight and I was really torn on if I wanted to be there or not, but I know that Hana would've wanted me to be at the show.

My mom told me that I didn't have to come to the show if I didn't want to, considering how hard it was for me to realize that I won't see my sister ever again, but I'm going because Hana would want me to come to the show, even if it's gonna be hard for me.

Even before the show, I visited Hana's grave for strength as I know that it was gonna be hard for me. I mean, I love Hana and to know that she's not here anymore, I don't know if I can handle it.

When I arrived, I started getting emotional because I saw so many pics of my sister all over the place and I was given a backstage pass, courtesy of Mr. Ogawa since he knew how much my sister meant to me and I got to know the girls thanks to Hana introducing me to them at that point.

As I got to the locker room, my sister's friends, Kaori Yoneyama, Kyona, Konami, Rina, and Ruaka saw me as they were surprised to see me here, even if they understood if I didn't come.

Rina: アラタ！ (Arata!)

Rina was the first one to hug me because she was very close to Hana in her days with Oedo Tai. She knew how much I loved Hana and we got to know each other through her.

Rina: 元気にしてますか？何か必要ですか？ (Are you doing okay? You need anything?)

Me: 大丈夫。彼女がいなくなってしまったことがまだ信じられません。 (I'll be fine. Just still can't believe that she's gone.)

Kyona: 私たちはあなたと一緒です、アラタ。あなたは一人じゃない。 (We're with you, Arata. You're not alone.)

I hugged all of them as I saw Natsumi coming around the corner and she was walking towards me.

I mean, it was really hard for me to process all of this and when Natsumi came close to me, she immediately hugged me as I just couldn't help myself anymore.

Natsumi: あなたは何が必要なのですか？ (Do you need anything?)

Me: 皆さんから何か必要なことがあればお知らせします。皆さんがここに来てくれてありがとう。 (I'll let you all know if I do need something from all of you. I appreciate you all being here.)

Konami: 私たちはハナに代わってあなたの様子を確認することを約束しました。話し相手が必要な場合は、私たちのいずれかに電話してください。 (We all made the promise of checking up on you, on behalf of Hana. Just call one of us if you need someone to talk to.)

?????: アラタ！ (Arata!)

I turned around to see my mom and Aleki walking towards us and she hugged me with tears coming down her face.

She kissed my cheek and just smiling at the sight of me being here but Aleki was just still inconsolable. He loved my sister, he was going to marry her, but she's gone.

Mom: ここにいる必要はありません。 (You don't have to be here.)

Me: わかってるよ、お母さん、でもハナは私がここにいてほしかっただろうね。私は彼女をとても愛していましたし、そのように彼女を軽視するつもりはありません。 (I know, mom, but Hana would've wanted me to be here. I loved her so much and I'm not gonna disrespect her like that.)

We kept hugging as my mom cried while I was at peace. I didn't want to look weak in front of everyone because if I did, I would've looked like a baby.

I always hide my emotions, but this one night has changed me because in the main event, I was asked if I could do a speech.

And my answer was...

Me: ぜひそうしたいです。 (I would absolutely love to.)

It was gonna be on the fly because I didn't know that I would be asked if I could do a speech, but I'm hoping to do my best because tonight is for Hana.

~Main Event~

[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Soon after my mom made herself known and tearfully talked about Hana and how much she meant to her, a tribute video was made, from her childhood to her early career, to Tokyo Cyber Squad.

Not to mention it showed Hana and I hanging out, taking selfies and just having fun, including one where we were just having fun and her hugging me as she left a kiss on my cheek.

Not only that, it showed the pics Hana and Aleki had taken together, including the one picture that almost made me lose it: a video of Aleki proposing to my sister.

Obviously, I couldn't bare to look at it because she was my best friend and we did everything together, from watching wrestling, to watching our mom wrestle, to me playing baseball for the BayStars, to the final pic we took together, where she gave me a hug with her signature smile.

When it moved on to Hana hanging out with her friends, it was even more emotional to where we never bothered to get moments from Terrace House where she would be depressed.

I obviously never watched them because if I did, I probably would've left and started chanting something, vowing to kill them in the most violent and gruesome way.

When it showed the graphic:

I didn't want to hold it in anymore, I wanted to cry, but for my family's sake, I kept myself strong.

Once it was all done, the announcer had said...

Announcer: 紳士淑女の皆様、木村花の生涯を祝うために、ベルを10回鳴らしながら立ち上がってください。 (Ladies and gentlemen, to honor the life of Hana Kimura, will you please rise as we ring the bell ten times.)

Every single person in the arena, including the commentary team, stood up as the bellman did his thing.

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

Everyone applauded as they honored my sister's life as Natsumi, who soon changed into regular clothes after competing and showering, side hugged me as she had tears of her own, which made me feel less embarrassed when my tears started flowing down my face.

Aleki, he was just bawling, but as quiet as he could be. I wanted to join in, but this wasn't the time or the place, so I had to wait until it was time.

Speaking of which, when it was time for me to do the speech, I went up into the ring, but I was given a hug by Natsumi beforehand to prep myself as I was not expecting the amount of support from Stardom and the fans themselves.

I wanted to start crying, but I stayed strong and started talking.

Me: ハナは私の人生の光でした。どんな状況でもいつも笑顔を絶やさない人でした。妹ではなく親友だと思っていました。彼女が亡くなってしまった今、これは少し陳腐な表現かもしれませんが、その光が消え去ったように、私の一部も彼女と共に死んでしまいました。亡くなるちょうど1日前、私は彼女に電話をしていて、彼女はこう言いました。一言一句覚えています。「アラタ、私が出演したすべての場所や獲得したチャンピオンシップの中で、あなたが私の兄でいてくれたことは、私のキャリア全体で最高の部分だと思います。あなたが思っている以上に、私はあなたを愛しています。」 (Hana was the light of my life. She was someone who always had a smile on her face, no matter the situation. I wouldn't think of her as my little sister, I thought of her as my best friend. Now that she's gone, I know that this is a little cliche, but a part of me has died with her as that light is now diminished. Just one day before she died, I was calling her, and she told me this, I remember it word for word, she said, "Arata, out of all the places I've performed in and the championships I've earned, you being my older brother is what I consider the best part of my entire career as I love you more than you know.")

The entire audience and the wrestlers of Stardom applauded and I saw my mom just crying, same with the others and Natsumi, she was touched and I'm sure everyone else was.

I then had to continue as I had to bring this up. I know it's not the best time, but this is related to Hana and how I want to remember her.

Me: これはレスリングとは関係ない話かもしれませんが、ここ数日、自分の将来について考えていました。ピッチャーとしてフィールドに出て活躍するのはとても楽しかったのですが、自分の将来について球団と話し合い、現時点ではチームと野球そのものを辞めることにしました。 (This may not be wrestling related to some, but over the last few days, I've been considering my future. I did have a lot of fun being a pitcher and showing out on the field, but, I talked to the organization about my future and, as of right now, I've quit the team and baseball as a whole.)

The crowd was shocked by what I said, including my mom at ringside, same with Hana's friends who were tearing up.

Me: そして、私が野球の代わりに何をするつもりなのかと思っているなら、それ以上の何かがあります。ご存知のとおり、私の妹は亡くなる前から天才肌でした。ソーシャルメディアでのいじめがなければ、彼女はもっと大きなスターになっていたかもしれません。彼女がいなくなった今、誰かがその役割を果たしました。 (And if you're wondering what I plan on doing instead of baseball, there's something more than that. You see, my sister was a prodigy before she died and she could've been a bigger star if not for those bullies on social media! Now that she's gone, someone has fill those shoes.)

They were all confused, but I made up for it with this proclamation...

Me: そうは言っても、私の人生の光である妹、木村花の思い出に...。 (With that said, in the memory of my sister, the light of my life, Hana Kimura...)

I finally said it, with my eyes watering...

Me (voice cracking): 私はレスラーになることで彼女の記憶を引き継ぎたいし、母に私を訓練してもらいたいと思っています。 (I want to carry on her memory by becoming a wrestler and I want my mom to train me.)

I was nearly finished with my speech and I wanted to start crying after all of this, even though it's okay since this is a memorial show.

Me (voice cracking): ハナは私にとってすべてでした。彼女のようなかわいそうな女の子を死ぬまでいじめて生きているろくでなしどもに彼女の記憶を汚されたくはありません。同じ経験をした人は、自分は一人ではない、あなたの話を聞いて助けてくれる人がいることを知っておいてください。そしてネットいじめっ子の皆さん、もしこの番組を見ていて私に同じことをするつもりなら、母親の地下室で暮らす怠け者の怠け者ども、世界中のどこでも、私のケツにキスしてあげてください！ (Hana was everything to me, and I don't want her memory to be tarnished by assholes who live with themselves by bullying poor girls like her to death. Anyone who's been through that, just know that you're not alone, and there are people who are willing to listen and help you. And cyber bullies, if you're watching this program and you plan on doing the same to me, you lazy no-lifes who live in their mother's basement, every part of the world, you can just kiss my ass!)

When I said that, the crowd applauded as my mom and Aleki entered the ring and hugged me with tears streaming down her face as the same as me while Hana's friends were touched by my proclaimation.

It's true. After what happened to her and the story she left off, I want to continue it by transitioning from baseball to wrestling.

Sure, I've been watching Hana compete and she was a natural, but to try and pursue the career and being in the ring, that's a different story, and I'm willing to do what I can to prove that she didn't die in vain.

Mom: アラタ、プロレスしなくていいよ。 (Arata, you don't have to wrestle.)

Me: いいえ、お母さん。私はこれをやりたいんです、花のために。お母さんはいくら私に参加するなと言ってもいいけど、私はもう決心したの。レスラーになりたいの、お母さんにトレーニングしてもらいたいから。 (No, mom. I wanna do this, for Hana. You can try to tell me to not take part in it all you want, but I already made the decision and becoming a wrestler is what I wanna do, as I want you to train me.)

She smiled and said...

Mom: それがあなたが望んでいることなら、私はあなたを訓練します。 (If this is what you want, then I will train you.)

Then some of Hana's friends and Natsumi entered the ring and group hugged me as I was tearing up from what I just said in the ring.

Backstage, every one of those girls came up to me and asked me if I ever needed anything, I'd call them up.

And Natsumi, she was staying right beside me in case I needed a shoulder to cry on. She is just so sweet.

I really couldn't be more grateful to her for standing by me as my training to be a wrestler was going to be tough.

However, the worst that was yet to come.

~July 6th, 2020~

I was just hanging with Natsumi, but then, I saw something on social media that I thought I would never see.

The entire cast of Terrace House post a picture of themselves partying about Hana, just three days before we put her to rest, and they pull this shit!

I called Aleki because I know he would wanna see this.

Aleki: アラタさん？ (Arata-san?)

Me: そうだ。ツイッターでこれ見ただろ？テラスハウスの出演者が、ハナの死を祝ってパーティーをしている自分たちの写真を投稿したんだ。 (Yeah. You see this shit on Twitter? The cast of Terrace House posted a picture of themselves partying about Hana's death.)

Aleki: 何だって？！ (THE FUCK?!!)

It sounded like he was finding out if I said was true because he got back to me as quickly as he could.

Aleki: 冗談だろ？アラタ、俺たちは奴らに教訓を与えてるんだ。 (Are you fucking kidding me? Arata, we're teaching them a lesson.)

Me: 私もあなたと同じ気持ちです。信じてください、私もあなたと同じくらい憤慨しています。だから、あなたは一人ではありません。 (I'm with you. Believe me, I'm as outraged as you are, so you're not alone in this.)

Natsumi, she saw the picture and she looked PISSED.

She looked like she wanted to kill someone!

Natsumi: 本気ですか？！ (Are you serious?!)

I then looked at my phone, put it in my pocket, and said out loud, walking out of the apartment...

Me: この人たちは死んだ。 (These guys are dead.)

Natsumi: 確かに。 (For sure.)

Once I got to my car, I drove over to Aleki's apartment, picked him up, and we were gonna wreak havoc on these assholes.

Me: 我々はただ彼らを倒すだけだ。 (We're just gonna beat them.)

Aleki: 男の人達？ (The guys?)

Me: そして女の子たち。 (And the girls.)

Aleki: 何だって？アラタ、そんなことできないよ。そいつらより強くなれないよ！ (What?! Arata, we can't do that. It won't make us better than them!)

Me: だから何なんだ？彼らが軽蔑しているのはあなたの婚約者で、たまたま私の妹だったのに、あなたは紳士的な戯言を言うつもりなのか？彼らを許してやりたいのか？ (So fucking what? This is your fiancée, who happened to be my sister that they're disrespecting, and now you're gonna pull that gentleman bullshit? You wanna let them get away with it?)

Aleki: 君の言う通りだ。とにかくそこに行って奴らをやっつけよう。 (You're right. Let's just get over there and kick their asses.)

Me: 右。 (Right.)

When we finally got there, I saw that Kai Kobayashi, Hana's "love interest", even though Aleki and her were engaged at the time, unknown to the producers and creators, especially Fuji TV, and we'll deal with them later on, came down and looked to talk to us.

I can tell that Kai was weak, but he wasn't in on the partying. He was forced by the show's cast and the producers. He was their scapegoat in all of this to make my sister the villain when she was clearly the fuck not, so I plan on letting him off since he's done nothing wrong.

What I mean is that one episode, he was told by the producers to touch Hana's chest area and he straight up refused to do that, even though he would be fined 10,000 to 100,000 USD if he didn't do what they asked of him.

And from what I heard, Hana's ring gear being destroyed in the washing machine, those assholes set it up for Hana to be hated and driven to suicide a few months ago and Kai had not part in the plan. I'm willing to forgive Kai because he's innocent and I'm also willing to let him come with us since he doesn't deserve to have friends like them.

He opened the door and he knew that we meant business.

Kai: 皆さん、何を計画しているかは分かっていますが、今はいい時期ではありません。 (Guys, I know what you're planning on doing, but it's not a good time.)

Aleki: カイ、車に行って。後で教えるよ。 (Kai, you go to the car, we'll tell you later.)

He did what he was told and walked out before we walked into the house, where one of the cast members, being an asshole, had to come up to us, and Aleki called him out.

Aleki: だから、あなたたちバカは、あと3日で婚約者が亡くなるというのに、婚約者を嘲笑するのがいい考えだと思ったんですね！ (So you idiots thought it was a good idea to mock my fiancée when we're just three days away from putting her to rest!)

Actor: そうだね！それで、どうするつもりなんだ？ (Yeah! So, what are you gonna do about it, huh?)

Aleki: 被害者の正義。 (Victim's Justice.)

Aleki then clocked the bastard in the jaw as we started fighting all the males, but I was gonna go for the girls so he doesn't have to, knowing his morals.

Me: 私の妹をからかいたいのか、クソ野郎！(YOU WANNA MOCK MY LITTLE SISTER, YOU SICK PIECES OF FUCKING SHIT!)

As soon as I screamed that, Aleki threw a male member through the glass window, into the pool!

I then threw another one onto the floor, kicked him the face, grabbed a vase, threw it at the cast members, actually hitting one of the female members, I then punched a male cast member who was trying to calm me down.

A female cast member who was trying to break her boyfriend away from me, I grabbed her, and slapped her so hard that her friends joined in and ganging up on me, but I didn't care, I took them out one by one.

And a cameraman, who was innocent in all this, Aleki grabbed the camera and threw it down on the floor, smashing it into a million pieces.

Another cast member, male, tried to get up, but I kicked his face without showing any ounce of remorse after what they've done.

The females were crying, the males were groaning, I was in such anger that we didn't care if we went to jail. They mocked my sister's death and I'm not gonna stand for it.

I then kept beating the males to a pulp as Aleki focused on anyone who was going to report us to the cops, but one of the females took out her phone, to call the cops, but Aleki, being a badass, wiped the phone out of her hand...

Female 2: いやああああ！！！！ (NOOOOO!!!!)

...and threw it far away to where we heard a distant crack, telling us that the phone was destroyed.

Me: もし誰かがまたこんなことで私たちのハナの死を嘲笑したら、私たちはあなたを殺します！ (IF ANY OF YOU MOCK OUR HANA'S PASSING AGAIN WITH THIS SHIT, WE'LL KILL YOU!)

I grabbed a male member and punched him so hard that he was out cold.

Female 1: 出て行け！！！ (GET OUT!!!)

Aleki: SHUT UP, BITCH!!!

We walked out of the house, I drove us away, and from that day on, I personally never came back.

Kai was crying and he told us everything from how he quit social media after Hana passed away and how he was forced into doing all the stuff he didn't want to do, like touching Hana's chest area and putting her costume in the washing machine.

Aleki, he was still pissed about what happened, but he seems to forgive Kai K for what happened and not the producers and the presidents of Fuji TV.

However, another problem was yet to come.