:::::
L U M O R N E L
:::::

"Seems she has a visitor," Balo muttered, leaning closer to his fellow guard. He stood from his post and went to greet the guest.

"Who?" I asked, jumping up to a sitting position. "Who is it?

A few weeks had passed without anyone coming to see me, other than the guards. Obviously, they were now enforcing my isolation. So why would someone come to see me now?

A shot of ice jolted through my veins. Is it my executioner?

I stood, light easily coming to my palms. After weeks of forced isolation, I had managed to gain some command over my strange abilities. That, at least, I was able to control. My memories were still dissipating like water on a hot summer day. Legolas was unable to see me—and therefore unable to help restore my past. I wasn't even sure how much of my memories I was losing. Without my notebook, it was impossible to tell.

For now, I pushed myself up against the barred door, trying in vain to get a peek at my visitor.

A flash of brown hair, a strip of hunter's garb.

I hurriedly pushed away. Just in time for the hunter from command to step before the bars. He nodded at the guards then saddled up to the barred door and leveled his steely eyes at me.

He didn't say anything. Just stared with examining eyes.

I squirmed under his scrutiny. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, just to stand."

I stared blankly at him, confused.

Finally, he smirked, shuffled his feet, and spoke. "Lucky for you, Fairiel is insisting on your release. Unfortunately for me, she has Lady Galadriel on her side."

Something like hope surged through me, clear and invigorating. "Fairiel? Who is she?"

"Lorien's representative, the Command member we've been waiting to show up."

That hope suddenly fled my system. In its place was ice-cold fear. I clenched and unclenched my sweaty fists and looked behind the hunter for a familiar face. Legolas, Aragorn, Elladan or Elrohir. Only the guards stood behind the Command member.

"So," I wet my suddenly dry mouth, "am I still scheduled for execution?"

The hunter only smiled. His silence was almost too much to handle. This man, this arrogant leader, hoarded the words that I desperately needed to hear. And he knew it.

Fine. I lifted my chin. "Who are you?"

He blinked at the sudden change. Then seemed to weigh my words, considering whether or not he should answer.

"Orhallon."

I took a step forward, then another, right until I was an arm's length away from the barred door.

"Why are you here and not some other member?" I eyed him again. "You don't seem experienced enough to deal with a notorious prisoner."

He ignored the barb. "I'm here because I am the most intrigued by you."

I bit my cheek. "Why?"

"Because," his eyes flashed, "you are a commodity. You are a gamble. You can either unite the whole of middle earth with just your presence or you can shatter us even further. You, my dear, are an investment. And one that can either be utterly crippling or completely strengthening."

I stared at him. "So... you're deciding my worth based on... on... economic value?"

My voice should have risen to a shrill shriek, yet it stayed level and hard. My ears instead warmed, no doubt turning their elven tips pink as uncooked meat.

Orhallon huffed a laugh. "I'd say 'practicality,' but 'economic value' isn't far off."

I gritted my teeth and stared at him, waiting for him to stop looking at me like I was some prized animal.

He squinted his eyes as if he was seeing more than just my body, but my thoughts and motivations too. A few seconds later, he tugged on his jacket and turned his eyes to my room of occupancy.

"We—those against you and for you—have come up with a solution. We have recently acquired information on the whereabouts of Alagosson. Come with us and prove that you are who you say you are and that you are on the side of Middle Earth."

Despite my efforts, my heart jolted with pure electricity, hope. But I clenched my hands, unfurled them.

"How do you know I won't turn on you?"

He quirked a smile. "We have something of yours," he crooned.

My journal.

I wouldn't have turned on them anyway, but the thought of being used, like an easily disposable weapon, made the light in me stir angrily.

It seemed like an almost waste of my time, going out to find a skirmish. My time should be spent studying my past, gaining myself back.

But Sûlmae, all those who would starve—including those here... they need me.

I nodded to Orhallon. "So..."

"So what? So very brilliant of me to use your little book against you? So very cold it is down here?"

Despite my rising irritation towards him, I nodded, rubbing my arms. It was indeed cold.

"So..." I tried again, "when am I getting out of here?"

He held out his hand to one of the guards and a key, lonely on a ring, was placed in his hands. Lantern light glittered and fractured on that small, little key.

"I could let you loose now."

I lurched to the door. "Yes."

"So eager to get out."

"Why wouldn't I be," I nearly snarled. It came out more like an anguished moan than anything near menacing.

He shrugged. "If I were you, I'd call those bars your friends. They're the only thing keeping you from an angry mob."

I froze, my hands loose on the door. "What?

"You didn't stop to think that the people here would want to hurt you? You killed their friends, hurt their families. You took hope from them when you slaughtered our soldiers. You, my dear, are a walking, talking target."

"That's not true." The words were a whisper.

"The killing part or the target part?"

He laid a hand on the bars. "Look, I don't hate you. But I don't trust you either. The truth is the people fear you. They may not chase after you with pitchforks and torches but they tremble at the mention of you. Morale drops every time a sighting of Gwaraith circulates. Chatter in the dining hall becomes low with mutterings of the Great Betrayer, fewer people join our ranks, children stay with their parents instead of going to school. Occasionally, trade drops. People are too afraid to risk even trading necessities when there's mention of you.

If you are truly wanting to stay here, then you must change the way they view you, the way they think of you. You may be able to convince a few members of Command, but changing the hearts of the people is going to take a lot more than proving your memory loss and a few stated words of testimony from your friends."

The key twisted in the lock. The door squealed open.

"Now get out of that cell before I change my mind."

:::::

"Lass!" The dwarf moved only as quick as a fumbling dwarf could, his not-quite-full beard swaying with his steps. "Aragorn told me everything. I—"

"Get her to her assigned quarters."

Gimli shot daggers at Orhallon. "In—"

Orhallon's gruff hand, which had held my arm captive the entire walk here, pushed me forward. I stumbled, nearly tripping over Gimli. "Quick, before someone gets a glimpse of that white hair of hers."

I pulled the brown cloak around me tighter. A hood could only do so much. If anything, it drew attention. And it only took a single glimpse to see the white that framed my too green eyes, my scarred throat.

If I was to be shown to the people tonight, before them all under the true veil of my winter hair, then I would need to be hidden away now before a wandering eye caught me.

My palms tickled with the thought. I could already feel the weight of a million, frightened stares.

"Snuff out that light, Miss Candle. Now go sequester yourself away. A maid and tailor will see to your needs so behave yourself."

Quickly, I pressed my glowing palms to my sides as he began to walk away, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

"What about Legolas and Aragorn?" I called after him. "Will I be able to see them before tonight?"

He didn't turn around, but he didn't need to. I already knew what he was going to say. I knew just by the stiff set of his shoulders, the air that radiated close around him. "If they so wish to see you."

As if they had no bother nor interest to see me.

"Come now, Lumornel. Best to carry out his wishes before he plunders us with a trade."

My brows furrowed. "What? What do you mean?"

"He's a river boatman, and a good one at that." He raised his brows, one full and the other interrupted by warped scars. "Before the battle of the black gate, he traded and smuggled anything worth the shine of gold. I've heard tale he had conned a mother-bird into giving him her prized eggs."

"Then why is he here if he was so skilled at what he did?" Shouldn't he be rich enough to settle down in a cottage far from any orc or manipulating lord?

Gimli glances down the hall, but Orhallon had already turned the corner. "Because he's got a wee brother, lass. He'd run himself through with his own pike before letting his lad be harmed. It's why he's here! He believes the Western Hope is his brother's best chance at a growing old."

I went quiet. It seemed everyone, even the seemingly heartless, had something that made them humane, something innocent to protect.

Like me, I thought. Gimli had said that I had protected the innocent.

I couldn't see any lie in his words. Even now, years after my death and left with a broken memory, something in me mourned for those who could not help themselves.

I wanted to scream at Command, hurt a too-handsome elf with my presence just to regain who I was, but I also wanted to help a child. To feed a starving man, protect a family, wipe tears away.

I wanted to remind people to hold fast to hope.

It hit me hard, the fact settling into me, becoming one with my bones. As if I had somehow known it all along. Like the very fiber of my being opened up and told me this truth.

I couldn't have been a murderer, a 'great betrayer'. I was Lumornel, prophecy-written, protector of the people and symbol of hope. I didn't let people die, I saved them.

The words that had been told to me, that Sauron had controlled me... I believed them. Felt the truth of them.

I may not be able to remember those I saved and loved, but I would live to protect them now.

Just like that, within a few quiet moments, I decided that I didn't need Orhallon to persuade me into helping fight against Middle Earth's foes. I would gladly do it.

My memories... they come second.

The people of Middle Earth... they are first.

::::

I had been left alone.

After a tailor took my measurements, that is, keeping so silent I almost thought she was mute. Her fingers shook as she held out the tape.

And then a maid by the name Andranna, showed me to a bathing chamber. It was a large underground pool where both sexes bathed using only a limestone wall as a barrier. Luckily no one was there to see me turn beet red as I told Andranna and the guards to turn around.

When I had asked why I was forced to bathe right then, Andranna averted her eyes and shuffled anxiously on her feet, the tailor having left her side long ago. "The Heads want you to look pristine when you are presented to the people—"

She paused, glanced up, then away. "Miss."

Presented.

"Heads?"

"It's what we call those in command, miss."

"Oh."

She smiled awkwardly, still not quite meeting my eyes. I bit my cheek and turned towards the large armoire. While I had been bathing and having my hair combed by her, the tailor had worked some magic on an outfit. Apparently, Command took my presentation quite seriously.

The outfit was distinctly elven and yet... not. It seemed human too. It had green swooping sleeves that all too easily showed my scars. The fabric flowed as if it was a delicate stream, winding tightly around my chest in a twist, then coming to a trickle just below my knees. The front seemed to fold over itself to create the illusion of a robe, the bottom open in such a way to allow for running, horse-riding, any activity that a practical lady should not be doing.

Yet, despite the elegant elven-ness, there was a brown corset-like belt that covered the entirety of my waist. Andranna had to tug the back until it cinched my waist into perfect form. It was something I never knew elves to wear, but somehow I knew that the human women of middle earth knew this fashion accessory very well.

It was a blend of the human that I had been and the elf that I was now. The elegance of it made me look almost noble-like, yet the wide swatch of corset gave me the rugged look of a working woman, especially with my old, mud-splattered boots.

The leggings though, were bizarre. They were made out of the softest material and completely impractical for outdoor trekking. But...

"These are amazing!" I ran my hand over my black-clad leg.

Andranna bit back a smile—hey I was getting somewhere—and picked up a brush. "Do you mind if I arrange your hair, miss?"

I hesitated. "Okay."

When she was done, my winter hair was braided away from my face, the damp tresses falling in waves down my back, on my shoulders. Soft downy hairs fell by my eyes. Looking in the mirror, I felt beautiful. I felt elven. I felt like a village woman.

I represented two worlds. Two lives. Two peoples.

The dress and fabric showed my station. The mud and belt showed my work, that I wasn't a pampered noble. Despite knowing that my appearance had been cultivated by the Heads, that I had been tailored to what the people would want, I loved it. I smiled and ran my hand over the green fabric once more.

:::::

Despite my earlier thrill, I felt near ridiculous now. I should be wearing a tunic or—or trousers! My shoulders felt bare without the weight of a cloak, my back felt too exposed. And my leg! There wasn't the steady beat of a sword when I walked, no comfortable press of a knife in my boot.

Who am I kidding? This isn't me!

But I gritted my teeth, following Aragorn through the cavern halls. They glittered with veins of silver and something red.

We came to a stop before enormous wooden doors, inlaid with shining iron and carved with images of an enormous man leading a people out of the wilderness. A dull thrum escaped through the massive barrier, the clinks of metal on plates.

Just how many people are in there? I thought with growing horror.

My stomach turned over for about the fifth time. And then my eyes found the guards stationed there and their eyes found me.

There were four of them, all armed with weapons and decently sized muscles. And with faces that seemed to have been drained of blood. A mere breeze may have knocked one of them over.

One of the guards went for the weapon at his hip.

Aragorn held up his ringed hand. The guard stopped short.

"Hold your weapons, she is here as a friend."

Then, Aragorn turned to me and seemed to see straight through to my racing mind. "Have faith. You may be facing a people who don't trust you, but they aren't the enemy. I'll be by your side the entire time."

I gulped, nodded. "Where's Legolas."

Aragorn's easy smile faltered. So, he knew the elf hadn't visited me since my new-found "freedom."

"In the dining hall." He motioned to the doors. "He's doing his best, Lumornel. Just give him time."

"He's had two weeks." I understood that all visitations to my cell had been halted but... couldn't he have found a way? I shook my head, angry that my memories were still not a part of me.

"Love is odd. It can unite people and force them apart. For Legolas, his love for you hurt him. These past nine years he has struggled with the pain left in his heart and now that you are here, after he thought you had passed on, he's left confused. He sees you and knows he should be overcome with joy, but all he's reminded of is his loss and the pain in his fea."

I remained silent.

"You should know that he was fading—" the air in my lungs stopped "—I'm not sure how he managed to hold on. That pain he felt, it made him commit some irrational actions. What matters now is that you are here, but you cannot blame him for his reservation."

"Okay," I whispered. My hand drifted up to my chest, to wear my fea resided deep, deep down.

Aragorn nodded for the guards to open the door. Except they hesitated.

"My lord..." he glanced at me. "Perhaps she should be taken aw—"

"No, she is Lumornel, not that being that was before Mordor all those years ago. Now, if you would, open the door and join us."

A muscle flexed in the man's jaw, but he nodded briskly and heaved open the door.

The chatter of hundreds of mouths buzzed to a dull roar within the enormous chamber, their voices traveling up, up to the high, natural ceiling. Stalactites reached towards the ground, lanterns hanging from rope glowing happily between the multitude.

Long dining tables lined the room on the left and right. Men, women, children all sat at the tables, smiles on their faces as their forks scraped their plates. I recognized the members of Command sitting in the space in the middle.

Huh, I thought, they're right in front of the doors. If a danger were to enter, they'd be the first ones to be attacked. Legolas sat at that table, his entire attention focused on me. His eyes seemed to hold a well of emotions, his brows twisted together to form a grieving frame. I flushed and looked away.

To our left sat even more full tables and beyond them, an open space. Aragorn led me towards it just as the big doors began to close behind us—

Someone screamed.

I flinched, as if struck. Cries began lifting throughout the cavernous space, entire benches screeched back from their resting spots as people stood, yelled, and hid their children, swords were drawn—

I gripped my forearms before me and ducked my head, using Aragorn's sturdy and unwavering form as a shield. Their cries, their fear, it all felt so... so tangible. It was suffocating, it was heavy, like heavy cotton being shoved down my throat. My very core shuddered and recoiled.

Betrayer!

Monster!

Kill her!

It was a mistake, it was such a terrible mistake to come here. I should have left, I should have curled up in some forgotten foothill of Arda until I was swept from everyone's mind—

"Order!" Detrius roared. "Order! I will have ORDER!!"

The old man's voice was frail at such a voluminous level and a few of the Command members joined, their voices a rallying cry against the utter chaos of terror.

All towards me.

Oh Valar, oh Valar.

My nails dug into my arms under my billowing sleeves, brilliance radiating from my skin.

"Lumornel," Aragon rumbled softly. "I know this is hard, I know that right now you'd rather bow to their screams, but you must stand tall and show them that you are not those horrid names they are accusing you of being. Frightened people attack when they see weakness, but hesitate when they see strength."

I clenched my teeth, feeling the weight of a thousand and one angry thoughts push down on my shoulders, bowing me until I hunched. I nearly stopped in place, my feet moving as if through sludge. And then I nodded, a barely imperceptible bob of the chin, and all my muscles bunched at once as if they were a spring compressing under a sudden weight—and then released. A cord, frail and unsure, that seemed to run through my spine and up through my head until it reached the sky high above pulled taunt.

My back straightened, my head held high, and my fists—my fists uncurled around my forearms, coming to rest stiffly at my sides.

As I reached the empty space beyond the tables and the dais that rested there, the chaos in the room settled into a rumbling murmur. My eyes made the mistake of looking at the people. Seeing their angry and frightened stares and glares, I quickly averted my eyes and burrowed my fingers into the fabric at my sides.

The enormous cavern seemed too dry all of a sudden, like the air had turned to sawdust. I could taste it on my tongue, could feel the ache in my chest.

Aragorn's hand touched my back as he guided me to the dais. He bounded up the few steps, joining Dervorin—the man who had been so angry with me at my first meeting with Command—before gesturing for me to join them.

Taking in a deep breath, I centered myself, as if getting ready for a fight. I lifted my chin and pushed the crowd's suffocating presence behind a wall of indifference, muting their submissive effect.

And then I took those few steps onto the dais.

:::

So.... happy quarantine? With all this extra time, I've already written part of chapter 19! Yay!

Also, I'm stopping the little letter fragments at the tops of the chapters. Again. They won't come back I promise. So I'm the next few days, if you see me "updating" New Dawn, it's just me getting rid of the quotes.

Anyways... I hope you all are safe and healthy!

God bless!

~phoenix