Warning: This chapter contains graphic sexual descriptions.

Lydia

Score: Fire Meets Gasoline - SIA

I lie under him, his body pressing mine further into the soft leather cushions. My hand travels down to the hem of his shirt and I push it up, tracing the hard muscles of his abdomen, as I make my way up...

Suddenly, he grabs my wrist and pulls away, as if he'd been struck by lightning.

"We can't," he growls, out of breath. He climbs off of me and sits on the couch, gripping his hair with both hands.

"We shouldn't. You're drunk."

What?!

Tears of embarrassment and anger sting my eyes as I sit up next to him.

He turns to face me, reaching out to put his hand over both of mine, which are lying in my lap.

His eyes burn into mine with something raw and almost painful.

Desire.

Yet, he's holding back.

"I am sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"It's OK." It is not.

I don't want to listen to whatever reasons he has lined up in his head as to why he doesn't want me.

Again.

The sting of rejection settles in my heart next to the myriad of nasty feelings, bleeding through the dent he's cracked open there. Next to feelings I have been suppressing, towards Colin, Patrick, and myself even. Betrayal. Resentment. Hurt.

To hell with him! I pull my hands away from his.

"No, Lyds, listen to me. I told you before, I know how you feel. I feel it too. Believe me, it drives me crazy. You drive me crazy. I...I cannot be around you anymore, because I want to cover your mouth with mine every time I see you...and it's not healthy, Lyds. It's not good, for either of us. I have no self-control when it comes to you. Can't you see that? I want you so much, I want to take you right here, on the sofa. But you are not mine to take, Lyds. You have Patrick and you two love each other. I know you guys have issues, but you will figure it out. I just... I don't want you to do something you'll regret, just because you're drunk and you're pissed off at him right now. I know you feel this... this pull, when we are together, but we shouldn't...just go find Patrick, fuck his brains out...it'll all work out..."

I stare at him, not comprehending the good part of what he's just said. I can only focus on one thing.

I have no self-control when it comes to you. Can't you see that? I want you so much, I want to take you right here, on this couch.

He wants me. He wants me. Yet, he is decent enough to turn me down, because I am drunk, and out of respect for my relationship?! What does it say about the other guys I know, that I am actually surprised by that?

"But...why didn't you just tell me? Why didn't you tell me to fuck off tonight, when I called you if you don't trust yourself around me?"

"Because... I couldn't just leave you, when you were in trouble, Lyds...And...and, as much as I cannot be around you, I cannot stay away from you, either."

His stare is so intense, it is almost painful on my face.

A thousand thoughts explode in my brain, which is still aching from the wine.

"But...I just want to forget about everything, Mark. I want to forget about how I failed Chemistry, how I will probably not go to Edin, how I don't know if I want to be in a relationship with Patrick anymore..." I say and this is the first time I say it out loud to someone. Saying the words makes me realize they are true. I really don't want to be in a relationship with Patrick anymore. "That's part of the reason I got so drunk tonight...I just wanted to forget..." The fact that Colin is trying to force me into an engagement with Patrick because the Casterlus have money and power sucks! I feel the lust and desire that were sizzling under my skin mere minutes ago transform into anger.

I've been angry way too often lately.

"It is not fair..." I say, shaking my head. "It is not fair..."

"What's not fair, Lyds?"

"It's not fair for everyone else to be telling me what I should and shouldn't do or want. It's not fair of you to tell me it's not OK to want you, Mark. This is not about me and Patrick...This is about us, Mark. And drunk or not, I know what I want. I want you..."

What did I just say?!

He must have seen the shock from my own words take over my face because his brows pull in.

There is no coming back now, and for once in my life I decide to stand up for myself, for what I want. To face my choices, my desires, and not be afraid to reach out and claim them. I am sick and tired of reacting to other people's actions. The feeling that I don't own my life like I don't have control over it creeps back inside me. And that, apart from my dream of going away to Edinburgh, which is slipping through my fingers with every day that I wait for my A-level results to come out, I never really have.

"I want you!" I repeat, louder, and nod my head, in affirmation, mostly to myself.

"And I want you...more than anything...," he says. His eyes flicker quickly from my eyes to my mouth.

It is time that I own up to what I said. It is time that I take control. I reach for his chin with my hand and turn his head toward me so that he is facing me completely. I lean forward and plant a soft kiss on his lips.

That's all it takes.

The fumes from our earlier passion, still filling the room, combust into an unquenchable fire. He grabs my hips, his fingers digging into my flesh with enough power to leave marks.

"Come here, Caramel!" He commands, leaning back and pulling me onto his lap again. I grab at his shirt and he lets me pull it up and over his head this time. I claw at his bare chest, as I lean forward to kiss him.

"Lyds...," he groans in my mouth, making my face turn red with heat. "I can't stop...Not now," he purrs in my ear, as I move on to kiss his neck. I whimper on his skin as he squeezes my thighs viciously under my dress. "Let me know if you really want this, baby, that you are sure because I don't trust myself, Lydia."

"Don't stop," I whisper in his ear.

He reaches for the zipper and peels the dress off my body with just two swift movements.

I sit there, on his lap, only in my knickers, pressing my palms against Mark's bare chest. His eyes rake down my body. When his gaze reaches my bare breasts, he licks his parted lips.

I can hear my heart pounding frantically in my ears. My head is spinning with the realization of what we are about to do.

I want this so badly...I want the distraction, I want release from this pressure, throbbing in my belly...I want him.

"Let's go to my room," he says and lifts off of the sofa, taking me with him. I giggle, wrapping my legs around his waist. His steps are haste and eager, as he carries me through the living room door and into the hallway. My head and shoulders hit the opposite wall, as he presses me against it and covers my body with his to devour my mouth with his again. I shiver from the battling sensation of the cold wall against my bare skin and the heat, radiating from his body. My hands shoot up and I tangle my fingers in his hair, as our tongues battle for control over the kiss.

He squeezes my thighs more firmly, peels me off the wall, and starts walking down the hallway, his mouth never leaving mine.

As we reach the last door, he presses me against it for support and drops one hand from my thigh, to open the door. I chuckle in his mouth as the door flies open and we nearly fall back. He carries me further inside and, before I know it, he drops me and I fall onto something soft.

His bed.

I am in Mark's bed! As, I am in bed, with Mark. And we're almost naked.

The soft light, coming from the bedside table on his nightstand, softens the features of his face, as he climbs on top of me, moving both of our bodies up towards the headboard.

This is really happening!

As my head hits the headboard, I reach down to unbutton his jeans, but he has other plans. He flips us over, so that I am on top of him, and pulls me down by the hair to kiss me. His hands move to the small of my back, pushing me forward. My hips roll over his and I can feel him through his jeans, hard and ready for me, and the sensation sends heat, like hot sugar syrup, welling up in my throat. I almost choke on it.

I reach for his jeans again, unbutton them, and slide them down his legs. He props his upper body up on his elbows, to watch me undress him. I climb back on his thighs, both of us only in our underwear now. I grind against him, savoring the feeling of him through his boxers. He sucks in a sharp breath and reaches across from me to the nightstand, to grab a small crackling packet.

My mouth runs dry, as I watch him rip it open.

Oh my! We are really doing this!

He gently pushes me back, kissing me on the forehead, before sitting up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, and pushing his boxers down his legs to his ankles. I cannot help but stare at him, as he is sitting on the bed, his feet on the floor, rolling the condom on.

The anticipation is sending electricity down my spine. I have only been with one man in my life and being on the verge of having sex with Mark is so new, so exciting. It feels so different than with Patrick, a little dangerous and...wrong...

God, I know it is so, so wrong...

He looks at me, and I realize I am staring at him with my mouth open. He smiles and reaches for my arm, gently pulling me, until I stand in front of him.

"Not that I don't like these," he says, running his fingertips under the lace of my black panties, where my thigh meets my hipbone. It tickles and I shiver. I thank Agent Provocateur silently for making lovely lingerie, and Alex for booking those Brazilian waxes today. It was all supposed to be a treat for my romantic weekend with Patrick, and certainly not for Mark to see, my subconscious interferes.

Now she is coming into action?!

I don't think so.

I push her back into her closet and turn the key.

"But I think you don't need them anymore." He pushes them down my thighs, his eyes never leaving mine. I put my hands on his shoulders for support, as I step out of my knickers, leaving them lying on the floor. He takes a moment to look at my body in admiration before pulling me on top of him.

A groan falls from his lips, as our bodies connect. He places his hands on my hips and pushes me down, and at the same time, he lifts his off the bed so that there is no distance between us. No space. No telling where his body ends and mine begins. Just us.

I screw my eyes shut, and gasp for air, holding onto his shoulders for support.

It feels so good.

But then, I am suddenly shy and self-conscious. I have only been with Patrick before. I have only known him, I know his body so well, I know how to please him, how he likes to be touched. Mark's body is new and unknown territory. What if he doesn't like it? What if he doesn't like me?

My thoughts are turned into nothing but smoke when Mark speaks softly in my ear.

"You feel soo good, Lyds," he lifts his hips off the bed to meet my movements again. "I have wanted you for so long, baby!" One of his hands is on my lower back, guiding me as I roll my hips on top of his, and the other is pressing on the mattress behind us, supporting the weight of both our bodies.

"I don't know what you are doing to me, Lydia, but I am so close, baby," Mark hisses in my ear.
His encouraging words are making me feel more confident and sexy and I start to move a little faster. He groans and the muscles in his jaw tense.

Suddenly, he falls back on the bed, taking my body with his. He wraps one arm around my shoulders and pins me firmly on top of him. His movements grow faster and sloppier and I can feel his body tense under mine. His loud groan fills the air, as he thrusts one last time inside me, tightening his grip around my shoulders, keeping me from moving. He is breathing heavily against my ear, and his grip loosens a little, as his body stills.

Did he...?!

I try to move my hips against his, but his hold grows firmer again, holding me still.

Oh!

He kisses my temple as he lifts me carefully and moves from underneath my body. I watch him as he sits up and rolls off the condom, tossing it to the floor.

I suddenly feel high on the power I clearly have over him. I am sure my smile looks as smug as it feels, but I don't care. Even though I didn't get my release, I feel like an absolute goddess!

He leans back next to me and pushes away the sweaty mess of hair from my forehead. His gaze into my eyes feels so warm, so full of...what? Content? Yearning?

"Sorry, Lyds, it's been so long since I last got laid." He pulls me to his chest. "How are you?"

"Fine," I smile in his chest and an involuntary chuckle escapes my still drunken lips. His eyes turn on me and I can feel his gaze turning intense and much darker.

Uh-oh!

"Did you just laugh at me?"

"No," I lie, but I chuckle again.

My laughter is cut short, as Mark literally jumps off the bed, grabs me by the ankles, and pulls me to the edge. He squeezes the undersides of my thighs with his large hands, lifting me up from the bed, and with two long strides, tosses me on the desk next to the large bay window. Before I can say anything, he kicks the chair next to the desk away, presses me down on the cool, lacquered mahogany surface with a little too much force, and kneels in front of me, burying his face between my thighs.

I gasp as his mouth connects with my warm skin and he groans against me, the vibrations sending shivers down my spine. He moves in slow circles and my entire body feels like it's been set on fire. I cannot speak, I could not say my name, to save my life. I have never experienced this kind of pleasure before. My core tenses powerfully and my back lifts off the desk on its own to meet Mark's mouth.

"Apologize," I hear a soft, warm command and Mark's mouth is no longer on me. I whimper at the sudden loss of contact, not quite able to comprehend what's going on. He turns his head to the side, planting soft kisses on the inside of my left thigh, then my hipbone, my stomach...

"W-whaat?" I snap out of my bliss, propping myself up on my elbows.

"You heard me. Apologize for laughing at me and I will give you what you need." He lowers his head to my most sensitive area again, planting a soft kiss where his tongue was doing its magic seconds ago, just to prove a point.

"No way...," I say, laughing. Is he joking? He better be joking...

"You're laughing again," he says, lifting himself up and looking me in the eyes, challenging me.
I gulp and stare, as he gets to his feet, threatening to leave me there, laying on his desk, desperate.

There's a playful smirk on his lips, telling me that he's enjoying this immensely.

Oh, God!

"OK, OK,..." I cry.

"OK, what?" He lifts an eyebrow, that playful smirk of his growing wider.

"You know... I apologize...just...please..."

"You apologize for what?" His long fingers are gently stroking the skin just below my belly button.

"For...for laughing at you...earlier..."

"Good girl," Mark coos, as he drops to his knees between my legs again.

"Oh, God!" I cry out and my legs jerk, as I feel his mouth connect with my body again.

Mark's tongue swipes over my hot center once, twice, and, I feel like I am going to fall apart at the seams at his next stroke. He moves his head slightly to the side, adjusting the angle, and I can't hold it together anymore. In what feels like mere seconds, months of abstinence and weeks of pent-up sexual tension are swept away by a wave of pleasure, so powerful, that it leaves nothing behind, but a puddle of warm, melted sugar on Mark's lips. I hear myself cry out his name, as I instinctively push him away, the sensation suddenly too much.

I am falling into a bottomless pit, and there might be nothing good awaiting me in there, but the feeling of free fall and the view of the stars from here is worth every foot that I fall.

When I finally climb back to reality, I see him standing beside the desk, looking down at me, smiling.

He takes my hand into his and gently pulls me up. I stand up to my feet, steadying myself with my hands on his shoulder. He leans down to kiss me. I can taste myself and latex on his lips. It's a heavenly combination.

I look into his eyes, trying to preserve the euphoric feeling. Dark thoughts and worries are already creeping in the shadows, outside of the circle of light, filling up my soul. I want to hold on to the light for as long as possible, and his eyes are my beacon.

"I'm so happy I left prom," I smile, lifting up on my tiptoes to kiss him.

"Me, too, Lyds." He says on my lips. "Me, too."