Xander

Never in my life had I met any guy who actually enjoyed shopping. That was until I met Cgc, of course. I think rich people like shopping because they know they can buy what they want. Unlike me who can't stare at a pair of shoes I want for too long because the huge dent that'll be made in my bank account will come back and bite me in the ass. When we finally settled on L.A. for spring break, Cgc said he needed new clothes. Spring break isn't for another couple of weeks, yet here we are.

We've only been here for about an hour but Cgc carries eight bags with him. Valdez, Rhys, and I only have one. I wasn't thinking about coming here today and wasting that much money anyway, so I don't mind. I don't know why Cgc needs new clothes though. He can barely fit his clothes in the tiny closet space he has. He uses our laundry racks for some of his clothes. He calls it impulsive shopping, I think it's a slight obsession.

He picks up chain number seven and shows it to us. "What about this one? I think I like this one the most." He admires the silver chain in his hand. "You said that about the last four," Rhys points out. Chris shakes his head. He's not wrong though. "How much is it?" Chris muses. Cgc motions over a middle-aged man. "How much for this one?" he asks for the again, seventh, time. This guy must be sick of him. The jewelry store is pretty busy today. "$509," he tells him. He doesn't budge, but Chris' eyes widen. "Yeah, no."

"I'll take it," Cgc smiles at the man and hands him the chain in his hand. He leaves to go pack it for him. When he turns to look at us we all have a different what the hell face. He's been super impulsive lately and not just with spending money. His smile fades and he tilts his head, "What?" We all say nothing, just like always. "You can pay over here!" The man motions for Cgc across the shop. He looks at us one more time before heading over. "I'm not the only one worried about him, right?" Rhys asks. Chris is entranced by his phone, so I answer. "No, but what can we do? He's said before that he's okay," I tell him.

Just like me, Cgc is a damn good liar. Only I'm better since my friends seem to believe me. We all don't believe Cgc. He's been like this ever since we lost the Orange Bowl. It was our chance to go to the National Championship game and we lost. Cgc threw an interception with only a couple of seconds left and I can tell he hasn't forgiven himself yet. He doesn't know how to deal with it other than being impulsive. Which is terrible because he's already spontaneous as it is.

The guys and I have had to deal with it for weeks now. Over a month actually, now that I think about it. He's having more sex than usual and does not give a fuck if it bothers us. The walls are kind of thin, so we hear everything he's doing. He's partying more than I do now too and he's spending a lot of money. I think his parents are letting him just because they know how badly he feels for losing us the game. His words, not mine. It's everyone's fault. If anything, I could blame myself too. He threw the ball to me but the cornerback covering me caught it instead.

He was also holding my arm, but the refs that game were fucking ass. They didn't call any flags for either team. We probably got away with one too many holding calls as well though. Regardless, I'm fucking over it. I'll just focus on getting ready for next season.

"They're at the food court already," Chris says, finally picking his head up from his phone. Cgc is already walking over to us. I nod, "Alright, let's go." We're having lunch with Novalee and Maddy. They both got hired at Saks Fifth Avenue about two weeks ago and have been working ever since. Cgc puts the smaller bag into one of his bigger ones, "Where are we eating?" he asks. "Wherever you want, stud," Chris says. "Dope," he replies.

We make it to the second floor and both girls already have their food in front of them. I decide to skip the food part and just order a soft drink since I'm not that hungry. I woke up earlier than all of them and made a big breakfast for myself. Valdez kisses Nova on her cheek and she hugs him as he sits on the chair beside her. He sets down his bag near her, "I'm gonna go get something, I'll be back." He kisses her forehead. Rhys and Cgc are still waiting on their orders at the pizza place. "I can't believe he bought something from Gucci," Nova says, shoving chow mein into her mouth. She eyes Cgc's bags on the ground.

"He's going crazy." I roll my eyes and drink the Pepsi out of my straw. He bought a bracelet, belt, and a shirt. I walked away before I could hear how much he wasted on just that store alone. Anything over 70 dollars is too much for me and I know for a fact the bracelet itself was at least $300. When he got here, both girls' eyes widened at the sight of his bags. He has eight, but they almost all have more than five items, making them bigger bags than the usual ones. "I'll try and knock some sense into him." Her eyes narrow as she says this. I laugh—only a huff— and shake my head. "I'd love to see you try. God knows I have," I tell her.

"Nova knows him better so maybe it'll work," Maddy chimes in. I ignored her so far, simply for the fact that I didn't want her to start with me and ruin lunch. She'll say I'm the one who starts with these petty little arguments, but I'll argue it's her. It's definitely her. I get a kick out of it though, so I can't complain. Sometimes arguing with her is the only thing I look forward to. That's kind of sad, but the honest truth. I like getting her mad.

I turn to face her. "No, he just won't listen to anyone. Simple as that," I say nonchalantly. "No, it's probably just you. I wouldn't listen to you if I was him either." She shrugs her bony shoulders. Her arms are super thin, just like the rest of her I've noticed. I look up from my arms to her face again. I decide to change the subject, "Still going to the gym, Mads? I haven't seen you." She glowers at me and I can't help but smile. I know I pissed her off the last time I saw her there. She acts like it's my fault we ended up going to the same gym.

"Yes, actually, not that the knowledge pertains to you though. I make sure you're not around when I'm there obviously."

"Why's that?" I push.

"I don't want to see you there, duh."

"I could help you, you know," I scan her upper body which is all that's visible to me right now "it doesn't look like you're making much progress still."

"I'd rather die actually and stop looking at me."

My lips curve into a smirk, "There's nothing to look at."

"Okay! So how's your guy's day going?" Nova cuts in. We both look at her, Maddy's death glare still sits on her face but she focuses it on her best friend now. Nova's eyes widen a bit and she looks down at her plate instead. "I'm still prettier than all the other girls you've ever been with." I laugh almost immediately, which I can tell pisses her off even more. "Nice try, but no. Got anything else?" I tease. "You're a prick," she says. I shake my head, "That's your weakest insult." She rolls her eyes with heavy annoyance.

Before she says anything, Chris joins us again with his food. Nova looks relieved that he just interrupted Maddy and I's bickering. She loops her arm through his momentarily and kisses his cheek like saying thank you. "So, how's work so far?" he asks. "Boring," Maddy answers quickly. "It's fun! At least we get shifts together!" Nova says. Maddy rolls her eyes, "Yeah, but it's still boring. All we do is fix clothes when people put them out of place." Cgc and Rhys finally return. "And hand out shoes when people need sizes," Nova adds.

The last time I had a job was when I was sixteen in high school. I worked at McDonald's since they're the only place that would hire me that young. I worked there for about two years before quitting. It was good money for a high schooler so I didn't really complain. "Sounds boring as hell," Cgc says, blowing on a slice of his Chicago-styled pizza. Nova frowns, "It's not!" she argues. I'd agree with Cgc though, Nova likes making any bad situation better than it is so that's why she shares a different opinion than the rest of us.

"I'm glad you're having fun," Valdez says, putting his arm around her waist and pulling her in to kiss her cheek. She smiles, "I am." She works fewer hours than Maddy since she doesn't really need the job so maybe that's why she's probably not as miserable. "I forgot what working felt like," Maddy says, popping a grape from her fruit bowl into her mouth. "Hey, at least you finally have a day off on Saturday! I say we get drunk Friday," Nova says, wagging her eyebrows at the moody brunette. Her eyes lighten up at that suggestion, "We should!" she agrees.

"Are you guys down?" Nova asks us. Rhys and Cgc both give her a thumbs up with full mouths. "Always," Chris says. Just like the rest of the guys, he's been taking advantage of this time off. He only gets drunk like twice during the season and saves the drinking and partying for the off-season. We start training again after spring break, so we're all trying to make the most of our time.

"Perfect," Nova says.

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The guys and I decided to cut Cgc off after lunch with the girls. Luckily, we didn't need to convince him to and he just agreed. I think he might've realized that he actually did spend as much money as he did. As soon as we got home, I got into my car and came into the city again.

About two weeks ago, Chris had to remind me that my dad's birthday was coming up. I typically go home for his birthday but with my mental health being as bad as it is, I don't think going will make it any better. I told my mom already and she said that it was fine as long as I keep seeing my therapist. I have been, but the sessions aren't helping me as much as I hoped they would so far.

We've talked about my dad's birthday coming up every time I've gone and it's just a constant reminder that it's another year that I'm not celebrating it with him. He would've been 45 this year. I sigh at the thought and get out of my car. Since I'm not going home, I decided to get him something regardless. I enter the flower shop and am greeted immediately by an older woman. "How can I help you, darling?" I glance around the shop, still seeing things from Valentine's day.

"Yeah, I just wanted to get a couple of flowers for my father's tombstone. Preferably a lightish blue color," I tell her. "Okay, sure, follow me." I follow her further into the store and she shows me a couple of choices of light blue, fake flowers. I don't want to get him real flowers since they'll die eventually. I point to the ones I want, "Those are perfect. Maybe you can arrange them in a vase? Any kind doesn't matter to me," I say. She nods and picks up the flowers. "Of course, anything else?" she asks.

"That's it. I also have an address to ship them off to," I say. She nods and grabs a pen and paper. "Go ahead," she announces. I give her my mom's address and she puts it away in a drawer. "Okay, hon, that'll be $95." She smiles at me. I hand her a $100 bill and she gives me my change back quickly. "Thank you," I say. She smiles again and waves. "Have a nice day!"

"Likewise," I reply before exiting the shop. Getting flowers for my dad gets harder every year instead of easier. Shit, it hasn't even been that long either. It still feels like just yesterday we were playing football in the backyard. Me, him, and my younger brother, Darren. I know this is the reality of life but it really fucking sucks. I think some people should be able to live forever and my pops was that person to me.

I just hope he's still proud of me.