Maddy

The semester project for one of my classes has just been assigned and I don't think I've ever been more excited to start working on assignment in my life. Being a fashion major is exciting but also difficult. Nevertheless, I make it fun for myself. Designing clothes has been a thing of mine since I can even remember. My mom always told me I would be designing different outfits in her closet, picking out dresses, shoes, pants, and shirts I think fit well with each other.

I've been making sketches for clothes since I was in high school. Since then, I've send my ideas to different designers, but I haven't heard anything back. My designs are unique, but trendy so I'm surprised I've never heard back from any fashion design company. I don't let that tear me down though. I still have a lot of work to do to get better. This has always been something I've loved to do and I won't let anyone tell me what I'm doing is not good enough or even mediocre at most.

I love clothes almost as much as I love living.

The assignment we have is designing ten different swimsuits. Five for men and five for women. I may be overly excited for the women, but men's swimsuits can be a little tricky. I don't know whether I'll make them trunks or briefs. I think I'll have to focus on the women's ones first. Maybe I'll get some kind of inspiration for the men later.

I wanted to go to the store now to buy some fabric but I have another class to go to, sadly. I start taking the shortcut to class, fast walking to get a good seat. My professor is a total drag and speaks like she's gonna get killed if she talks an octave higher. I stop in the empty, outside alley at the sight of Xander.

"I told you yes, ma. I'm fine."
"What? No. Stop asking, please. I can't believe you don't believe me."
"You don't know what I go through so don't act like you do."
"I'm doing fine. If I wasn't we wouldn't even be having this conversation right now don't you think?"
"Whatever, I have to get to my 1 o'clock. I'll text you later."

He hangs up and then shoves his phone into the front pocket of his sweats. I see his body turn so I keep walking towards where he's at with my head low. I'll try and act like I didn't just hear him raising his voice at his mom. I see his feet walking this way and I try hard to act stupid. I'm not stupid, so it's hard to do so. "She-devil," he says. I roll my eyes, but lookup. I fake smile, "Waste of space." He rolls his eyes this time. "Hilarious," he says dryly.

I flip him off as we walk right past each other. "I told you not to speak to me and I meant that," I shout slightly, not turning around. He doesn't say anything else. When I turn around, he's already gone. My mind reverts to that conversation between him and his mom. What was that about?

Wait. What? I don't even care.

I roll my eyes at my thoughts and wrap my jacket tighter around my body. I still have to look fashionably acceptable despite how cold it is. Can't it just be summer again already? The cold weather and I aren't best friends. The only good thing about the winter is the cute outfits I can put together, that's about it, really.

"Nice legs." I look up from my boots at the voice. Cgc. Just my luck. I haven't seen him since earlier this week when I.. touched myself to the image of us. Maybe we could do it again- No! I hate how flirtatious he is. I hate how it doesn't even faze him that it's me he's flirting with even more. "Thanks," I say. He shoots me a wink and then walks into his class. I hate him.

I walk faster to get to mine on time. Damn Xander and his stupid conversation with his mother that made me later than usual. Now I'll have to get through another lecture where I can't hear a single thing.

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"Maddy!" I turn around and see Nova and Cgc. I forgot they have that class together. She fast walks towards me and loops our arms together. Cgc's long strides don't fail to catch up with us. I avoid him completely. "I'm going to buy some fabric for a class of mine, do you want to come?" I ask Nova. She nods quickly, "Ugh, yes. I need a distraction." I furrow my brows.

"From what?" I ask her. She throws her head back dramatically as we exit the building. "Dalton said they'd let me know this weekend whether or not I got either of the parts." I raise my eyebrows in shock. Novalee auditioned for a Netflix show in November that's supposed to be a huge hit once it airs. She hasn't gotten word yet if she got any of the two parts she's auditioned for. She's been very, very anxious to say the least.

"Okay, we have to get your mind off that," I say. "Have sex with your boyfriend. Sex is always a perfect distraction," Cgc adds his two cents into our conversation. I almost allow myself to blush, remembering that's something he told me when we were hooking up. Then it hits me. Nova told me Cgc's been beating himself up about losing the Orange Bowl game. The way he's coping? Sleeping with any girl he sees. Literally. I don't think that's healthy.

At least now I know why he's been so flirty.

Nova's face turns light pink. She's not very open about her sex life. Especially not with one of her boyfriend's best friends. "Leave her alone, Cgc. I'm sure she's done that countless amount of times since she auditioned. It's obviously not helping," I shrug. Nova's eyes widen and she squeezes my arm with hers. "Maddy!" she says. "What?" I argue. Even if she's not open about her sex life, I know she's getting it a lot now. Men are horny motherfuckers. Especially athletes.

She doesn't say anything else to me. "See you later, C?" she tells Cgc. He nods, throws up a peace sign, and walks towards his car. I breathe out when he finally leaves us. We inch my car and Nova looks at me suspiciously. I unlock the car quickly and we both get in. "What?" I say again. She continues to look at me. "Why were you so tense around Cgc?" She says curiously. I roll my eyes and start the car.

"What are even you talking about?" I act stupid, not looking at her as I pull out from the parking lot. "I felt you get all relaxed once he left. You were so tense before and I want to know why," she says. She gasps, not allowing me to say anything. "Are you two? Again?!" she exclaims loudly. My eyes widen, "No!" She sinks into her seat. "Then?" One thing about Nova? She doesn't stop prying until she gets an answer from you. Especially me.

Whatever, I know she won't say anything anyway. "He's been flirty and well one day I just started thinking about our past rendezvous's in the shower while I was touching myself." I shrug like it's nothing but my best friend gasps, covering her mouth with her hand. And she calls me dramatic. "Ohh, do you think he still might be having sex with anyone with a pulse because of losing?" Nova says. "Nova!" I say. Her eyes widen a bit at my response. "Yeah, it's probably that," I add.

"I can't imagine how he's going to act on his birthday," Nova groans. I furrow my brows, "When's his birthday? Soon?" I look at her for a second before turning back to look at the road. She nods her head. "February 4th," she tells me. I raise my brows slightly. That's in a couple of days actually. "Are you considering sleeping with him again?" Nova whispers like he's actually in the car with us. I shoot her a look, "No," I say confidently.

I told myself I wouldn't, so I won't.

"What if he asks you?" She questions. I think about it for a second. "I'd reject him nicely," I say with a smile. I think I consider Cgc a friend. He's nice to talk to and I don't mind his company either. Even if we did sleep together again, I think we'd stay friends but I think it'd be too weird for us to give it another shot at being friends with benefits.

Nova smiles. "Okay, cool. Just asking."

One of the only fabric stores in town is unsurprisingly empty when we get there. I skim through all the fabrics, looking for the right ones to make my swimsuits out of. Nova is being touchy-grabby with all the things in the store. "What are you getting fabric for again?" she asks, finally standing still next to me. "I have to design some swimsuits for a class of mine. I need to get some fabric to sew them," I tell her. Her eyes grow bright. She likes when I tell her about my major. She thinks it's cool that her best friend can design and sew up clothes. I've made her a shirt before actually. She wears it all the time.

"That's so cool. You have to make me one!" she says. I smile, "If they let me keep them, I'll give you your favorite one," I say truthfully. Her smile never leaves her face as she starts flipping through a catalog on the table. Once I get the fabric I'm using, I get a couple of the supplies I need to make these bathing suits. Luckily, the supplies are cheap. The fabric though, is a bit more expensive.

"Chris is so clingy," Nova says. I look over at her in the passenger seat and her eyes are focused on her phone. "In a bad way?" I ask. I doubt it. She wouldn't have that huge smile on her face if it was in a bad way. She shakes her head, "No, I love it. Football has kept him so busy in the time we've been together so I'm glad I'm spending more time with him," she admits.

I don't think I could ever have a boyfriend. As touch-deprived as I get, having a constant man in my life does not sound like any fun. At least not for right now. Attending a university has allowed me to have the ultimate amount of fun without feeling bad about myself. Everyone here does it. I call it self-care. It's how I stay afloat sometimes and I'm not just talking about sleeping with men. Partying as well and still acing my classes makes me feel good about myself more than anything.

"Oooo, want to come over to Chris' later? We're drinking. Only the six of us, no party," Nova waggles her eyebrows at me. "Did Chris just ask you?" I tell her. "Yeah, they're picking up football again in March remember?" she says. March is about a month away which is still a lot of time. Being friends with Novalee has given me a chance to get to know the guys and I know that they love drinking. They'll take any weekend as an excuse to have a couple of beers. Then again, they also drink on weekdays.

"Will he be there?" I ask. Nova rolls her eyes, "Yes, it's his house." I roll my eyes too. I knew the answer to my own question but I still had to ask. Even with a slight buzz, I can't always ignore Xander's presence. "I'm fine, we'll hang out another day," I tell her. She groans immediately, "Maddy, no! You can't do this to me. I need my girlfriend there. It's tiring being around four boys all the time, please. I need to take my mind off this audition crap." I look over at her and she's pouting, her huge eyes basically begging me to come.

I flip her off with my free hand. "Fine, I'll come."