Xander

I'm upstairs in my room when Chris sends a group text to Rhys and me to come downstairs. My eyebrows furrow at this only because Cgc isn't involved. Maybe it's because he's currently out doing whatever the fuck Cgc does. Actually, it's Monday so he might be in class.

When I make it downstairs, I see Rhys already there and Novalee sitting on the same couch as him on her phone. "Nova part of house meetings now?" I joke, furrowing my brows slightly. She looks up at the sound of her name and smiles at me. Valdez stands up now, "This isn't a house meeting and we're waiting on Max and DJ." As if on cue, the doorbell rings two seconds later. Valdez rushes to get it and I look to Rhys. "What's this about?" I ask. He shrugs, "No fucking clue."

Max and DJ come in and Max immediately comes towards me. He's a lot bigger than me even though we both play wide receiver. He's 6'5, even taller than Cgc. He slaps my chest with his large hand and I can't help but grin. "You look cute." He rubs my chin with his hand and I push him lightly. He sits down next to me and I handshake DJ before he sits down too. "Where's Cgc?" Max asks. "Class," Rhys says. We all look towards Valdez since he's the one who called us all here. The four of us including Max and DJ are all in this inner circle we like to hang around so I begin to wonder. They're not coming with us on the trip to LA, so this isn't about that.

"Alright, hear me out. Let me fucking finish before you say anything too," he starts. We all look confused as fuck, not having a clue at what he's about to say. "So obviously I didn't wait for Cgc to get home because well, this is about him. I've been putting some. . . thought into this for a while. I talked to coach earlier and told him that I think, no matter how much it means to me, I might wanna hang up the captain title next year," he says. My eyes widen a bit. Is he declaring for the draft? Is this why he called us here? Wait. He said this was about Cgc though, so it can't be that.

"I told him that we should name Cgc as captain. He's already my co-captain and I know he wanted the captain title this year, but you fuckers gave it to me. Plus, he's QB 1 so it's fucking fitting for him to be captain," he shrugs. I had a feeling he was gonna say this. "I think he fucking deserves it. We've all seen how he's been dealing with that fuckup from the Orange Bowl. He cares about football more than he leads on. I'm going to the league after senior year, Cgc won't. I'd like for his last year on the team to be as team captain. Obviously, I wish that for all of you but it's not possible."

He's willing to give up being captain for one of his best friends. The reason Cgc got named co-captain was because he had the most votes by our teammates behind Valdez. "Coach said it wasn't up to him and that we'd all have to vote for him if we want him to fill that position. I can count on you guys to give him your vote?" he asks us. Nova smiles up at her boyfriend, intertwining their fingers together. "He's got mine," Rhys says first. "Mine too, brother," I say. "You sure about this, Valdez?" Max adds. My best friend only nods his head. I know he's sure about it. It's written all over his face. "Alright then hell yeah," Max says. We all look at DJ, Valdez's favorite teammate.

He's only a sophomore and Valdez took him under his wing when he first got to Oak Hill. He plays safety like our captain and is almost as good as him. He hesitates, having loyalty to my best friend. "If he's got your vote, then he's got mine, Cap," DJ finally says. Valdez smiles and nods once. "He's got my fucking vote. We'll tell the rest of the boys later, towards the end of the summer. Don't let this get back to Cgc though," he grins "I want that fucker to be surprised when he realizes he's going to have to bust his ass." Hell yeah, he is.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶

Believe it or not, I'm fucking terrible at keeping secrets. Why? I have no clue. If someone ever tells me something I have to at least tell someone else or I'll go crazy. My mind is already full of shitty thoughts so when someone else's secret is in there too? I start to panic. So maybe it wasn't a good idea that Cgc wanted to do something with me tonight. Christian and Nova both stayed in tonight to study and Rhys was over at some girl's house, so I was the only person left for Cgc to invite.

I'm close to all the guys I live with. Valdez is my best friend and I'm close to Rhys because we play on the same side of the ball. Receiver, running back, we both practice the same drills a lot. Cgc is my quarterback and we've always had a natural connection which makes me his second-most target. Rhys is number one, obviously. The chemistry Cgc and I have on the field was always there though, we didn't need to practice a million times for it.

So, I'm not as close to him as I am with Valdez and Rhys. We don't fucking despise each other or anything, I've just never been close with him as much as he is with Rhys and even Chris. He's still my best friend though and I love him, our relationship is just a little different. I hate to be this person, but I take shit to heart. I know it makes me weak but honestly, I don't give a fuck anymore. A life without weaknesses is a life I don't want to live. I rather feel than be heartless as fuck. I hurt every day and complain about it but maybe it's better than feeling absolutely nothing.

Anyway, Cgc has a big fucking mouth. He says anything and everything on his mind. He's like Valdez in that way, but he's worse. Cgc and I tend to argue more than I argue with my other two roommates. He pisses me off a lot and says stupid fucking shit. Sometimes I get so mad that I think about hitting him. I don't of course because, despite all the shitty things he's not only said to me but my other two best friends, I do care about him and love him.

I know his life isn't as perfect as people think it is. It's hard for him to open up and he never has, to any of us. I don't fault him for it because I'm exactly the same. I think Valdez and Rhys are too. I think we're all secretly hiding a piece of our lives. I know that no one's life is perfect and the way we live? It seems like ours is. But I only know mine and the fact that it's shit. I don't wish that kind of life for my best friends but you honestly never know until you actually know.

"Hey man, you doing better?" I say as we're currently stuck in some light traffic. No matter what day of the week, Oak Hill is always busy. He turns to look at me, his dark brows furrowed. "What do you mean?" he says. We all ask him this quite frequently and he always says the same thing. What do you mean? "You know what I mean," I say, rolling my eyes. He looks away from me again, focusing on the road full of non-moving cars. "I'm fine, Xan. When are y'all gonna realize that?" he deadpans.

At this point, I might believe him. He hides his emotions well and I don't think I'm good at reading him. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's okay. I know he's not though because Rhys complains about it every day. I never thought I'd see the day where Rhys Adler complains about going out to drink as much as possible. The other day, he complained to Valdez and I about how Cgc was still asking him to go out almost every night. "He acts like I'm his only fucking friend, I don't know why he doesn't invite you guys. Or Max," Rhys said yesterday.

Valdez and I laughed at his misery. The real reason Cgc doesn't invite us? Chris spends a lot of his time with Nova, Cgc thinks they're an old married couple now. And me? Well like I said, I'm never his first choice when it comes to hanging out with someone. Rhys is always available.

Rhys explained to us that he's still not over the game. It's already March 1st. The game was on New Year's Eve. I don't know why he's still beating himself up when all of us are over it. Even Valdez. Maybe if I tell him he's most likely going to be captain next year, he'll quit his shit. I almost blow out the secret, but Valdez would kill me, so I don't say anything.

"You suck at lying, man. Fix your skills, then we'll talk." He scoffs, rolling his eyes. The cars finally start moving a bit but he doesn't say anything else. I say, "Where are we going anyway?" He turns the volume up to the Drake song on the radio a little bit. "We're meeting Max, D, and Maddy at the bar," he says. Great. The bar. Again. Now I know how Rhys feels a bit.

"Shit, sorry I forgot Maddy and you fucking despise each other," he says whenever I don't say anything. I was about to answer, the silence wasn't because of Madison. "It's fine," I tell him quickly, shaking my head. I don't mind her company. She might mind mine though. My lips rise at the thought. I wonder if she knows I'm coming tonight.