#NewClassicNRO

Chapter 8
Game

My mind was elsewhere for the whole duration of our afternoon classes. It couldn't function properly. The lectures of my teachers sounded like gibberish to me. I couldn't understand a single thing even if I tried hard to focus.

Jirro effortlessly occupied my brain like he already decided to live inside my head. All I could think about was him and his unexpected confession which caught me off guard.

Honestly, I couldn't seem to bring myself to believe that I was living in reality. Being confessed to by the man I truly like was as close as chasing the stars. It was like living inside a beautiful dream where an impossible dream of mine just came true.

"Sino kaya ang hinihintay ni Jirro?"

Natigil ako sa pag-aayos ng aking gamit nang madinig ang sinabi ng aking kaklase. Agad kong nilingon ang malaking bintana sa aming silid upang makumpirma kung totoo ngang nasa labas si Jirro. And to my surprise, the moment I turned to look out the window, his eyes were already piercing at me.

The air got stuck on my throat as I gasped. Looking away, I covered my mouth and coughed to release the trapped air. Nagmadali ako sa pag-aayos ng aking gamit pagkatapos. Hindi nga lang ako makapagdesisyon kung haharapin ko ba si Jirro o tatakbuhan.

We didn't get to talk during lunch. I was speechless and dumbfounded. Nothing could get through me. Pinapaulit-ulit ko lang ang mga sinabi ni Jirro sa aking isipan na parang sirang plaka. I couldn't get enough of it. Nanatili akong tahimik hanggang sa tumunog na ang bell na hudyat na tapos na ang lunch break.

Honestly, I was scared of how our confrontation would go. I had a lot of questions running inside my head. What if he didn't really mean what he said? What if he was just playing with me? Those were just some of the questions disturbing me.

However, even with the urge to run away, I knew I couldn't just ignore him. I wanted a solid assurance that I wasn't experiencing a delusion. We needed to settle it once and for all.

As I had already made up my mind, before I could even turn away, I went out of the room and stood straight in front of Jirro. Umayos siya agad sa kanyang pagkakatayo at isinukbit muli ang isang strap ng backpack sa kanyang balikat.

"Can we talk?" His voice didn't sound good.

My heart fell when I saw regret etched on his face. Pakiramdam ko ay tama ang mga hinala ko kanina. Maybe he was just really playing with me. Maybe I hoped too much for it to be true.

Walang salita akong tumango sa kanya. Si Jirro ang nanguna sa paglalakad. I tried hard not to be noticed that I was walking with him. Tahimik lamang akong nakasunod sa kanya at naglagay ako ng tamang distansya sa pagitan naming dalawa.

It didn't take long for us to reach the benches near the prayer room. Luckily, there was only one student around the place. He didn't even notice our arrival as he was drawn reading his book.

Wala masyadong tumatambay sa parte na 'to ng campus dahil bawal ang maingay. Only those who wanted to be alone often spent their time hanging around here. May mga nagsasabi ring may mga multo rito dahil malapit ang gawi ng campus na ito sa sementeryo ng simbahang katabi.

I might be afraid of ghosts, but I couldn't care less about it when I was more terrified of the conversation I would have with Jirro. In all honesty, I'd rather get spooked by a ghost than experience a possible heartbreak. I can deal with freaky spirits, but I can't deal with a broken heart.

"Is it okay with you kung dito na lang tayo mag-uusap?" mahinang tanong niya nang maupo kami sa bench na medyo malayo sa lalaking nag-aaral.

"Ayos lang kahit saan," kalmado kong sabi kahit na napakalakas na ang pagkabog ng aking puso.

I placed my backpack on my lap and locked it in my embrace. I felt much comfortable having something to hold on to. With that, I had an excuse not to look at him all the time.

"About what happened earlier..." He didn't bother beating around the bush and went straight on point.

The anxiety I was feeling heightened once he began to speak. I gripped tightly on my bag to help me keep my composure.

"I'm sorry." His voice was hoarse when he apologized.

It felt like my heart was pricked by a sharp icicle. The pain spread all over me right away. But still, I nodded my head, acting like it was okay for me―like I could understand.

"I understand," I told him, amazed that I didn't even stutter. "Naisip ko rin naman na baka sinakyan mo lang ang biro ng mga kaibigan ko. Naiintindihan ko naman."

Really, Cloe? Talagang naiintindihan mo ba?

"What are you talking about?" Jirro sounded confused.

Heaving a deep breath, I finally encouraged myself to look up to him. His brows were almost knitted together. He was frowning.

Bumuntonghininga ako. "Ang sabi ko, naiintindihan ko kung bakit napilitan ka kaninang sabihin 'yon," paglilinaw ko. "Alam ko namang hindi mo ako talaga gusto. Sinabi mo lang 'yon para matigil na sina Jasmine at Martha sa pang-iinis sa ating dalawa―"

"Woah! Woah! Woah!" He looked genuinely surprised as he slightly held both of his hands up. "How did you come up with that?"

Napakunot ang aking noo. Ako naman ang naguluhan. Pakiramdam ko ay hindi talaga kami nagkakaintindihan nang maayos.

"I meant what I said earlier," he cleared it out. "I really like you."

My lips parted. For the second time around, I was rendered speechless being taken by surprise.

"I will never play like that, Cloe," he said. "I know it's not something to be taken as a joke. When I told you I like you, I mean it. No bullshit."

His curse rang in my ears. I just didn't know why instead of getting turned off, I couldn't help but to look at him with amusement.

"I'm apologizing because I feel like you're still not ready for it," he explained. "Alam kong may pagkakamali rin ako. I just said it out of the blue. I didn't plan to let you know about my feelings that way. Pero tama ka rin siguro. Nadala rin ako ng emosyon ko kanina."

I could tell how much he had been pondering over his words. I could see the feeling of dismay on his troubled expression. It was like he was repenting over his impulsive actions. He was disappointed with himself.

"I was feeling frustrated because no matter how much I tried to show it, you still couldn't see nor feel that I like you," he expressed his feelings. "Naisip ko na baka manhid ka lang talaga. That's why I tried to be even bolder but unfortunately, you still couldn't sense it."

While he voiced out his frustrations, I found myself swimming into his eyes which were filled with genuine emotions. The water got deep as the ocean and as warm as the tropical weather. I suddenly wanted to stay inside his eyes where I discovered some kind of paradise.

"I can also feel that you're trying to push me away," he admitted. "I'm a bit hurt that you immediately surrendered my camera to Ivory that day. I really want you to be the one to film me that time. I was looking forward to it. It's the real reason why I brought my camera with me."

I stopped myself from daydreaming. He was obviously talking about the foundation day! I felt a pang of guilt.

"Ngunit naisip ko lang na baka totoo ring sumama ang pakiramdam mo," sabi niya. "But when you started avoiding me, I realized that Ivory has got something to do with it."

Medyo nag-iwas ako ng tingin sa kanya. Kahit totoo man ang kanyang hinala, I didn't want to drag Ivory. Pakiramdam ko ay sisiraan ko ang kanyang matalik na kaibigan sa kanya. It wasn't a good feeling. Ayokong masira ang kanilang matagal na pagkakaibigan.

"Ivory is a sweet friend, but spoiled. I know that she can also be rude," he told me. "I'm sure that she must have told you something, making you want to stay away from me. She already did that to some girls who tried to express their feelings to me. I just didn't mind it before because I also didn't want their attention. I didn't want them to hope for me."

I was surprised to know about that. Kung ganoon ay hindi lang pala ako ang binalaan niya nang ganoon. If I was right that Ivory really liked him, I was sure that she did that because she felt threatened.

"But since it's you..." He licked his lower lip, fixing his gaze on me. "It has become my problem now. A very huge problem at that."

Para akong hinaharana ng kanyang mga salita. I could feel myself falling for him deeper, even though I was still trying to stay afloat.

"So, I tried to be straightforward earlier and asked you what she told you," he explained. "I can ask her but I want to hear it from you. I want to know."

Biting my lower lip, I shook my head. "Hindi na importante 'yon," sagot ko na lang. "I think she did that because she likes you."

He cocked his head on one side, staring at me with his curious eyes. "If it wasn't important, why did you choose to avoid me then?"

"Uh... Wala lang."

His brow shot up. "Wala lang?"

Kumunot ang aking noo dahil sa kanyang mapaglarong tono.

"I'm sure there's more."

"Oh, sige!" pagsuko ko para matapos na ang kanyang pag-iinteroga sa akin dahil baka kung ano pa ang masabi ko. "I also thought that you like her back. Ayokong makagulo kaya naisip kong umiwas na lang."

He pursed his lips, nodding his head. However, he still didn't look satisfied enough. Para bang mayroon pa rin siyang hinihintay na marinig mula sa akin.

"So it's a good thing I already confessed to you, huh?"

I wasn't sure if he really meant to ask me that question or if he just unconsciously spoke out his thoughts.

"You know now it's you that I like," he muttered.

Napapikit ako nang mariin. "Oo, alam ko na."

"And I told you that Ivory only do that to girls who tries to express their feelings to me," he clarified once again.

"Oo nga. Narinig ko," sabi ko na lang.

"So does that mean you like me too?" he casually blurted out the question.

Sa sobrang gulat ay nabitawan ko ang aking backpack at dumulas pababa sa lapag. Mabilis ko iyong pinulot. Sinubukan pa akong tulungan ni Jirro. Buti na lang at naunahan ko siya.

"Sorry," muli siyang humingi ng pasensya. "Nabigla ba ulit kita?"

I irritatingly turned to him. He was surprised when I glared at him. He laughed then raise his hands like he was surrendering.

"Ang lakas mong sabihin na manhid ako, pero kahit ikaw pala ay hindi mo rin maramdamang may gusto ako sa 'yo?" dire-diretsong kong sabi dahil sa iritasyon.

It was too late when I realized how honest I was. I bit my lower lip hard and turned away from him, feeling embarrassed. It felt like my cheeks were about to burst because of intense heat.

"Talagang gusto mo ako?" tanong niya, naging masigla ang tono ng kanyang boses.

I didn't answer. It seemed like he was doing it on purpose. I had a feeling that he was really aware of my feelings. He was just trying to play dumb because he wanted to hear coming from my lips.

"So what are we now?"

Sinipat ko siya ulit ng tingin, nagulantang sa kanyang tanong. "Ha?"

"You like me. I like you, too," he made everything clear for the both of us. "Does that mean..." he trailed off, wanting me to finish the sentence.

"That means manliligaw ka muna," sabi ko, pinal at walang pagbabago.

Pakiramdam ko ay ang kapal ng mukha ko para sabihin 'yon. I like him since we were in first year high school. I should be taking this opportunity to make everything official. But honestly, I had no idea how a relationship should work. At sa mga napapanood ko naman ay nanliligaw muna ang mga lalaki sa babae.

Sa tingin ko rin ay dapat ko muna itong ipaalam 'to sa aking mga magulang. I was only turning seventeen. May mga kaedad ako o mas bata pang may mga relasyon na, ngunit hindi ibig sabihin no'n ay makikigaya agad ako.

Jirro broke into laughter while nodding. "Fair enough," he agreed. "I'll court you."

Like playing a game against each other, both of us suddenly felt competitive. However, I already knew how it's going to end. I was sure that Jirro would win me over, even before the game started.