#NewClassicNRO

Chapter 38
Engaged

It was eight in the evening by the time I finished cooking and preparing for the surprise. I had time to clean myself up before Jirro arrived from his schedules.

His eyes went wide open as soon as he saw me at the dining room of his flat. It was as if he saw a ghost. But after the shock had melted from his face, the corners of his lips rose into a very charming smile―and it was exactly what I wanted to see after being away from him for a week.

Kita kong nawala rin ang pagod sa kanyang mga mata. Mabilis siyang naglakad palapit sa akin. He pulled me into a tight embrace, positioned his hand on my back and pressed me more to his body. Dama ko ang kanyang paghinga nang malalim. He seemed to relax after taking a deep breath and kissing the top of my head.

"I missed you so much..." he whispered sincerely.

A smile broke out from my lips as I laid my head on his chest. "I missed you, too..."

Jirro didn't let go of me for a few minutes. It was like he was trying to charge himself by holding me in his arms. Hindi rin ako nagreklamo. I also needed the comfort and strength that I could get from his touch and warmth. It was safe to say that we both benefited from his clinginess.

After a while, he cupped my face with his huge and warm hands for him to see clearly. His eyes focused on me, still wearing a small smile.

"Why didn't you tell me that you're coming back today?" His voice was attractively husky that it added to his appeal. "I could've arranged a driver for you. Nagcommute ka lang ba?"

Tumango ako at hindi ko mapigilan ang matawa dahil sa kanyang maliit na problema. "Ayos lang. Sanay naman ako magcommute," sabi ko sa kanya. "And I wanted to surprise you as well..."

His smile brightened up once again while letting go of my face. He was obviously liking the simple surprise I did.

Silence dawned upon us as Jirro's gaze grew deeper. Doing the same thing, I also couldn't find it in me to look away. The way he stared at me was so inviting. The look on his eyes made me hope for something.

Fortunately, before his face completely leaned over for a kiss on my lips, I put my finger in between our lips and smiled. "Let's eat first, please..." I told him, even though I wasn't sure if I still wanted that. However, I promised myself that I wouldn't let my feelings sweep me away and spoil the surprise. "Pinaghirapan kong lutuin ang mga ito."

He gave me a full-bellied laugh. "What are you thinking?" he asked, sounding so scandalous yet innocent at the same time. "I'm just going to give you a short and brief kiss for working hard."

Naningkit ang aking mga mata. Hindi ako naniniwala sa kanya kaya naman tinalikuran ko na lamang siya. I sat on the dining chair before he successfully lures me in to his trap.

Jirro didn't make it hard for me. He cooperated with what I wanted to happen. He quietly sat in front of me and scanned the dining table. Kita kong nagtagal ang tingin niya sa pesto bago napangiti at nag-angat muli ng tingin sa akin.

"You really can't wait for me to taste your cooking of my favorite pasta, huh?" He sounded a bit teasing but I just let it pass because it was true anyway.

I was filled with anticipation as I watched him put pesto pasta on his plate. I even leaned forward just to make sure that I'd be able to see a real and genuine reaction from him.

Kita kong pinipigilan niya ang kanyang pagtawa dahil sa aking panonood sa kanya. And before he took a taste of it, he gave me one last glance. His eyes were fixed on me while he was savouring the taste of my version of his favorite pasta.

"Hmm... It actually tastes good," he casually said and smiled like he didn't mean it.

Medyo napasimangot ako. I didn't get the reaction I expected from him. However, it seemed like Jirro was enjoying teasing me. Ngiting-ngiti siya habang tinitingnan akong nakasimangot.

Making up for his apathetic reaction, Jirro almost cleared the pesto pasta on his own. I stopped frowning when I saw him enjoying the food I cooked. He was eating with gusto. I just wanted to watch him eat instead of finishing my meal. It gave me so much joy that I forgot something very important until he opened up a serious conversation.

Habang umiinom ng wine ay nag-angat sa akin ng tingin si Jirro. "Anong oras ka pala nakarating ng Manila?"

"Uhm, mga alas-otso ay nakarating na ako sa Top Star. Pumasok pa ako para magtrabaho," sagot ko at naalala ang pag-uusap namin ni Mr. Joel patungkol sa relasyon naming dalawa ni Jirro.

I remembered Mr. Joel telling me that he would inform Jirro about our pictures once he was done with work. Napaisip tuloy ako kung talagang alam na nga ba ni Jirro ang tungkol doon. But while watching him act and move without any hint of worry, I doubted if he already knew. O baka gaya nga ng sabi ni Mr. Joel ay walang pakialam si Jirro kahit na malaman man niya ang problema.

It wouldn't be a problem to him even if our relationship get exposed in public. Knowing Jirro, it would be his pleasure to tell the world about us. Siguro ay naiisip niyang ayos lang 'yon dahil hindi na namin kakailanganin pang magtago.

"Pero babalik ako ulit sa Talavera sa makalawa..." nag-aalangan kong sabi.

Jirro got distracted a bit. I saw it in his eyes which fell on the wine before slowly looking up at me. "You're not staying here?"

Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi habang inaayos sa aking isipan ang mga naisip kong rason upang bumalik muna sa Talavera.

Breaking up with Jirro wasn't part of the choices I had to choose from when deciding the best thing I should do. I immediately disregarded that thought. I didn't want that anymore. I knew that both of us would suffer if it was the choice I'd take. I couldn't afford to end my relationship with him and break both our hearts. Kung 'yan ang gagawin ko, alam kong wala ng paraan upang gawing buo ulit ang aking puso. I would forever be miserable and broken.

And so, after those considerations that I had to take account into, it led me to choosing the safest path―the road back to Talavera. I needed to avoid being seen with him, especially here in Manila, while he was being preyed by the media.

"Hmm... I will pass an immediate resignation tomorrow," I introduced him to my plans. "Nakausap ko na si Sir Rick kanina sa plano ko. Gusto kong makatulong sa pag-aalalaga kay daddy hanggang sa tuluyan nang gumaling ang tahi sa kanya. Baka rin kasi hindi kayanin ni mommy mag-isa."

I briefed Mr. Joel of the plans I had in mind to address the problem during our talk. He told me that he'd lend a hand to process my resignation faster. He was doing everything he could to handle the situation.

Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko na rin nabilang kung ilang beses siyang humihingi ng pasensya sa akin dahil sa mga hakbang na kailangan kong gawin para kay Jirro at sa banda. He sympathized with me, but he also had to do his job as the band's head manager.

Muling bumagsak ang tingin ni Jirro. His thoughts were very transparent. He wasn't trying to hide it. I knew he was conflicted just by looking at his face. Mukhang malalim din ang kanyang iniisip.

"I realized that I wouldn't be able to concentrate on my job here, while thinking about my parents in Talavera," paliwanag ko. "At dahil ipagpapatuloy ko rin naman ang pag-aaral ko, sa tingin ko ay hindi ko rin kakayanin na magtrabaho full-time sa Top Star. I'll try to get a part-time job instead. Baka kausapin ko ulit si Nico na kuhanin ako sa café niya."

Once I was done stating my reasons, I also fell silent like him. I cautiously stared at Jirro while he was still in dilemma. And after a while, he looked up to me.

The intensity of his gaze made me feel anxious. Although I wasn't asking for his permission, whatever his opinion about my plan might affect my decision, especially if he was against it. Kung dati ay sigurado akong hindi niya kayang baguhin ang mga desisyon ko, alam kong iba na ang sitwasyon ngayon. I learned how to take his words into consideration.

Iyon ang naging mali ko noon sa aming relasyon. It's not wrong to be independent. However, I always tend to get influenced by my independence when it comes to making decisions for our relationship, when it should be managed by the both of us.

It takes two people for a relationship to work.

Handling a relationship is like trying to put a balance scale in a state of equilibrium. We won't be able to see each other's eyes if only one will load the scale, or if one's words weigh heavier than the other one. We should always try to be equal in order to have a better understanding.

I reminded myself of those reflections throughout the whole time that I was making my decision, especially because we both decided to take our relationship to the next level.

And to my surprise, opposite to my expectation, I saw Jirro loosened up as a smile touched his lips. The heavy emotion in his eyes which was trying to weigh my decisions down was long gone.

He nodded his head, still wearing a smile. "I understand..."

With my lips slightly parted, I stared at the man I love in awe. I couldn't believe that he wasn't trying to make me reconsider. Instead, he supported me right away.

"I understand why you want to go back to Talavera for now... Your family needs you," he said, showing me how much he understood my reasons. "And I don't think I can stand seeing you filled with worries every single day that you're away from them. Baka ako na mismo ang maghatid sa 'yo pauwi ulit sa Talavera upang makasama sila at mapanatag ang loob mo."

Hearing how much Jirro thought of my feelings and respected my decisions, guilt was creeping into my veins. Mas lalo akong nakasigurado na hindi niya iniisip ang tungkol sa mga litrato namin na hawak ng media. Ako lamang at ang nararamdaman ko ang iniisip niya.

Tears started to well in my eyes. I thought I had reached the deepest part of his heart, but I realized that there were some areas I had not explored yet. Mas lalo lamang lumalim ang aking pagmamahal sa kanya at wala na akong pakialam kung hindi na ako makaahon pang muli.

Maingat na inabot ni Jirro ang aking kaliwang kamay na nakapatong sa ibabaw ng lamesa. I felt him caressing the engagement ring he put on my finger. I was fascinated to see how his smile overflowed with sincerity and genuine happiness.

"You are engaged to me now," he whispered, like he was consoling himself by being reminded of the new status of our relationship. "You are going to be my wife someday..."

I bit my lower lip, watching his fingers played with the ring which symbolized our commitment to spend the rest of our life with each other.

"I know I'd be lying if I say that I'm already contented being engaged to you because I know that I want more... I want you to bear my name... I want you to have my children..." he admitted his feelings while leaning over the table to bring my hand closer to his lips. "But I can assure you that I'm happy, Cloe. I have never been this happy."

I inhaled sharply, trying to keep myself relaxed and composed while my heart was being chaotic inside my chest.

"I don't mind being away from you for a few days if I can be with you for the rest of lifetime..."

"Jirro..." I could only utter his name after his heartfelt speech.

Unti-unti kong binawi ang aking kamay kay Jirro. I saw his eyes shook a bit because of fear. Kaya naman mabilis akong umikot sa lamesa upang makalapit. Sinundan ako ng kanyang mga matang punong-puno ng takot na itinatago ang pag-asa. Hindi pa ako nakakalapit nang maayos ngunit agad na niya akong hinila upang mayakap.

At dahil nakatayo ako habang siya naman ay nakaupo, ibinaba ko ang aking tingin sa kanya. His face was buried on my stomach as he embraced me tightly. He was like a child longing to be cradled by his mother.

Knowing how much clingy he can be―and how much he feared getting left behind again―I couldn't help but admire his courage to loose the strings he used to tie me close to him. It must be hard for him to let me go back without him but he did. It only meant that I've finally earned his trust back.

And in order to reassure the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I bent down and rested my chin on top of his head while I also wrapped my arms around him. Naramdaman kong mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang kanyang pagkakayakap sa akin.

Through the peaceful night, the comforting silence, and the warmth and touch we shared, no words were needed to be said. It was enough to proclaim the feelings we have for each other.