My legs shake as he lowers my dress and my underwear to my ankles and patiently waits for me to step out of them. I place my hands on his shoulders for support as he grips my hips and guides me down to his lap when he lays back onto the mattress.

I am delightfully titillated by his touch. His fingers feel so good and rugged on me. I kiss him again, coaxing his hair and jamming our torsos together, scoring him with rose-clasp shaped marks. He obliges me and duels my tongue with his own without abandoning his feverish search of my body.

It’s astounding how much my body wants his. I’m undulating myself on top of him and squeezing internally in anticipation while he grunts, driving me wild. He slides his index and middle fingers up and down my vulva while breathing in my ear.

I start losing it. I am delirious in his delicious embrace. His lips are succulent when I take them with mine again and again – moaning. I am saying anything and everything. I tell him to go faster, I tell him to love me harder, I tell him he’s making me feel so good inside and how I love when he caresses my butt cheeks softly while rubbing away my ache.

I feel open and soon I am. I’m blooming, exposed to the elements, slamming into all barriers, any borders, boldly proclaiming that I am here in all my glory – do to me what you will. I’ll take it and then some.

I come in spurts and that’s when the overwhelming storm of boundless love crashes down onto me, leaving me to ask myself if I was even born to be anything other than the tatters that I have become. Aden plants a kiss on my neck, bringing me back to reality where I am no longer like a burgeoning rose. I’m just me – McKay. And I have just given myself, body and soul, to my first love.

“Aden, please touch me again. Make me come again.”

“I thought I felt you come just now.”

The confusion in his voice is endearing.

“I know, but I need more. Please, I–”

“Okay.” he shushes me.

Loosening his grip, he touches me anew and it’s rough. I’m quivering, and my body is saying that it’s had enough; but my mind is not even close to accepting that. It craves Aden more than it craves reprieve.

Aden’s fingers curl inside of me and I jump upwards on his lap, gripping the sheets. His other hand deliciously snakes onto my hip and grips me hard to hold me still while I squirm in equal amounts of pain and delight. I claw at his back whilst my hips push onto him. I am a trembling contradiction, and as my orgasm approaches, I feel the emptiness of it all.

If I come, I’ll just ask for more – I’ll need more because it’s not his body I’m after. And it’s only when I come to terms with that fact that I can finally say the words.

“Aden, please stop. I’m good now.”

I call out to him, but that only causes him to pull me firmly against his palm and lick further down my neckline. I gulp back a moan and shout as loud as I can.

“Aden!” He stops and looks up in confusion. “That’s enough.” I say, out of breath.

He is back to frowning.

“Now I’m sure you didn’t orgasm.”

“I’m fine; I promise. Just hold me.”

As he stares at me, I force myself to think that that’s enough for me – that what we have shared so far has been enough.

“Thank you.” I say and mean it.

Aden lets me lie atop his chest to catch my breath as he caresses my matted braid.
He did that for me, and I couldn’t be anymore grateful. But the irony of my desperation is not lost on me.

I got mad at Danatha for not believing in my relationship, but do I? I say so, but my body grips his as if we’re on borrowed time. But then again, aren’t we? Maybe my decision to leave him in New York should’ve never changed. Aden’s not perfect. He almost hit that guy Elio yesterday.

Sure, he showed restraint, but what about remorse? Does he even care what I think? Because lately he hasn’t been acting like it. He seems to not care about us at all. He’s eager to let me go. Is that really the guy I say I love? The guy who says he loves me?

When I return from school the next day, I slink in the covers immediately. Since Aden was in the bathroom when I came in, he checks up on me once he’s out.

He snuggles with me when I tell him how sick I feel. I think it’s because I haven’t been eating right lately; or it might be because I’ve been in a hamster-wheel of negative thoughts. Either way, it’s making me physically ill.
I’m almost asleep when my phone rings between us.

“Should I get it?” Aden asks. I shrug, burying my face in his neck, inhaling his soothing scent. “Hello?”

He waits a moment before speaking again.

“She’s not feeling well, so maybe another day.”

I frown, sitting up. Aden strokes my hair, listening then replying.

“We’re not doing that.”

I finally snatch the phone from him and press it to my ear.

“What?”

“Come to my house; now.” insists a clearly angry Tonya.

I hang up without answering.

“She says she needs to ask you about something, but by her tone, I don’t think it’s anything pleasant.”

I scratch at my nose.

“I should probably see what it’s about before she comes over here.”

“She wouldn’t dare.”

I quirk my brow.

“No, I won’t let her.”

“It’s alright. I can handle her.”

I slide off the bed and slip my shoes back on.

“As sick as you’re feeling?”

I turn back and kiss him sweetly.

“Lying in your arms helped a great deal.”

“This is not a good idea, Princess. I know it.”

“I’m going.”

“Fine, then I’m coming with you.”

“Aden.”

“Not up for discussion.”

He grabs his jacket and heads for the door, opening it for me. I don’t want to fight, so I let him tag along. When we get to Tonya’s place, the first person I see is Danatha, bag in hand. She probably came to get any clothes she might have left behind since she is wearing clothes I recognise as Tonya’s.

I knock and let myself in. I can tell Tonya is fuming away, while Danatha looks tired. I didn’t even bother to talk to her at school today. I had been so busy trying to not throw up, I hadn’t been there for my best friend.

“Danny.” I hug her. “You feeling better?”

“So, today you care?” Tonya snorts, prompting me to glare at her.
Danatha nods unconvincingly.

“I’ll be fine. I’m going to talk to John now. I’m just trying to keep my spirits up. I’m sure we can work this out.”

“You will.” I squeeze her hand.

“Bitch if you don’t stop–” Tonya bites her tongue and clenches her fists.

“What is your problem?” I ask, annoyed and feeling slightly nauseated.

Aden’s hands press my shoulders before he installs himself in the corner of the hall, allowing us space to interact between friends, but still close enough in case I need anything.

“I should be the one asking that.” Tonya mutters.

“Say what you want to say.”

“You don’t want Ken and Christie here for this.”

“I don’t care. Say it!”

“I’m telling you! Let’s go–”

“SPIT IT OUT!” I bark, tired of her threats.

I just want to go home which means I can’t let her drag this out more than she has. She dons a stony expression.

“Why did you call London?”

A shiver travels down my spine. Shit. Something went wrong, didn’t it?