I wake, wrapped up in Aden’s limbs and thank the heavens that we remembered to put our shirts on before we went to sleep. I’m staring straight at Callisto’s sleeping figure while my bra is lying innocently on the ground next to his bed. I can only pray that the guys and Danatha were too drunk to see it when they headed back.

Danatha is sharing the top bunk opposite me with Jude. She looks so angelic with her lengthy lashes floating above her cheekbones. She’s sleeping on her own side, but Jude’s arm is slung over her midriff as if in afterthought. It doesn’t look like Danatha is allowing Jude any intimacies, so I relax.

I turn in Aden’s arms which makes him stir awake. He is so dreamy when rousing. His soft lashes flutter as his eyes blink open and circle down to my face. His features instantly change as a soft smile arrives at his mouth and a dim sparkle kindles in his striking emerald irises.

“You know it’s a good day when the girl of your dreams is the same one to wake you up.”

I scrunch up my nose.

“So much cheese.”

He chuckles as I press myself to him.

“Can it be like this every morning?”

“If you want it to be then yes, with time it can.”

He kisses my cheek with his morning breath that is more present than it is a nuisance to me. We get out of bed and when Aden goes to shower, I quickly warn him.

“I’m going to shower at home.”

“You can shower here.”

“No, I want to be home.”

“Can I come with?”

“On a Sunday? Sure, what could go wrong?” I answer sarcastically.

“It’s still early. Surely your parents are still in bed.”

My head pings with an idea.

“You’re right. Come on, you’re not showering. We’re going now. I can sneak you in.”

When we get there, I put him in my room where he’s only glad to wander around my things. I shower and get dressed in the bathroom before returning to Aden.

“I didn’t know you were such a big fan of quilts.” he says, eyeing the big stack at the base of my closet.

“My mother is. Now, let’s get out of here. Let me check that the coast is clear.”

But Aden pulls my arm until I sit on his lap.

“I see the braided ponytail is making a comeback.” He teases. “You look stunning.”

I smile at him. I’m happy that he noticed that I dressed myself in my best. I chose to wear high-waisted dark jeans, a long-sleeve crop top with my hair tied up as usual.

I laugh when he pulls me to lie back with him on the bed. As I splay my hand on his chest, I feel his torso tense. I open my eyes to see a photo taken of us a moment ago on his phone screen. I don’t even mind. If he wants that moment for himself, I’m more than happy to let him have it.

That’s when I hear movement outside.

“Uh-oh. We need to go.”

I open the door and slip out to check the corridor only to be hit in the face with a blanket of bright red hair.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were at Tonya’s house.”

“I am,” I spit out her hair. “But I forgot to take a change of clothes for today.”

“Okay,” She yawns. “Oliver says hi.” She throws over her shoulder as she strolls to the bathroom.

“EXCUSE ME?! You went to see Oliver without me?”

“You weren’t home, Sweetcakes.”

“You could have called! Hell, you could have texted.”

“Olive and Dad are still asleep. Keep it down.”

I tear up rather quickly.

“You know how much I miss him, and you left me behind.”

“Stop being dramatic.”

“Out of all of you here, I’m the one who misses him the most and you had the courage to–”

“Yes, I did. Deal with it. You’ve been so distracted lately. That’s not my fault.” Nancy walks away. “If you aren’t here to do your chores then you’d better be on your way.”

When Nancy shuts the door, I want to run to her and demand an explanation, but it won’t change anything at this point. She won’t be going to see Oliver for a long time.

Aden sees my face when I go get him. He probably heard the screaming too. He hugs me close as we wait for the Uber to arrive. I’m still seething in anger when we get in.

“Tell me what I can do.”

“Does it look like there’s anything you can do?!” I retort harshly.

Even the driver looks up at his rear-view mirror.

“Sorry. She always does this to me.”

“Look down from heaven.”

“What?”

“That’s what my mum always says to me. In heaven there is nothing but love and forgiveness for the ones below.”

I close my eyes as tears threaten to come rolling down.

“Tell me something beautiful.”

“Whatever it is, she makes it alright.”

The lyrics warm my heart. I squeeze myself against him.

“Sing it, please.” I ask.

“And I wanna hold her for the rest of my life. And all of my nights, she could give my heart peace. I wish she could be here with me.”

“Thank you.”

It’s when I croak that I feel the wet fabric under my fingers.

“Sorry about your shirt.”

Aden kisses the top of my head in response.

“I’m just glad that for once, I get to be here for you.”

“Don’t make me cry.” I rub my eye. “It feels amazing to have you here. I’ve never felt so protected.”

Aden hugs me tighter as I look up at him in gratitude.

“You know what? Even with sadness in my heart, my world feels like it’s upright. I think you’re holding it up.”

“I didn’t know I was that strong for you.”

“You are.”

When we arrive, I avoid everyone’s gazes, but of course, Danatha isn’t about to be fooled.
She instantly follows me to the crates.

“You disappeared. You okay?”  She holds my hand.

“They all went to see Oliver without me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“She had the audacity to keep calling me Sweetcakes. I wanted to punch her.”

“Maybe she doesn’t realise how much you miss Oliver.”

“Do you really believe the words coming out of your mouth?”

“Somebody has to.” She shrugs.

Aden appears in the corner and leans there, letting me and Danatha have our space, but still offering his support with his presence.

“I know that he’s in pain. It’s like I can feel it too. And I know he’s upset that I didn’t show up. What if he thinks it’s a choice?”

“Wasn’t it?”

We both look over at Aden. To his credit, he doesn’t even flinch. His jaw moves rigidly as if he knows what Danatha’s implying about him.

“They could have called me.”

“Kay…”

“I refuse to blame Aden. I have waited months that felt like an eternity to see him. I see Oliver every single month. I can’t put this on Aden. We deserve this time together.”

“You’re right. But at the end of the day, it was still a choice.”

“I would make it him again.”

“I see.” I turn to her. “I’m not judging.”

“You shouldn’t. I don’t think JD would approve of your choice of accommodation last night.”

“Oh, so we’re judging me now?”

“I’m warning you: at this rate, you’re going to lose JD.”

“I won’t lose him. I don’t love Jude.”

“No?”

“McKay, honestly now! You’re getting on my nerves.”

“The truth tends to do that to people.”

“I can’t believe you. You know me better than that. Do you really think I could hurt JD like that?”

“You’re here posing as Jude’s girlfriend–”

“Hold on one fucking minute now. I never did that. You can ask any of the guys. I never did anything with Jude. I never even kissed him. I broke my promise. Even when he attempted to hold my hand, I told him off and threatened to leave if he didn’t behave. I am not going to cheat on JD because I don’t believe in that. So, I ask again; do you really think I would do that to him?”

“No,” I answer after a while. “At least not physically.”

Danatha goes quiet.

“What? No comeback?”

“I don’t want to stay away from Jude, even if I can’t touch him.”

“Oh, Danatha.” I caress her braids then hug her. “What is it about him?”

“I’ve been asking myself that since I met him. I told myself it’s the fame, the good looks, the clear-sky eyes, the danger, the attraction, but nothing fits. It’s everything all at once. All my senses are being ambushed simultaneously.”

“Maybe you should talk to JD about this.”

“And say what? That I have the hots for another guy? Not just any guy, but quite possibly one of the hottest and most famous boyband members out right now?
“No. I’m sure this is a crush; a distraction. Once they’re gone, I won’t have to worry anymore.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“It has to be true this time.”
“You didn’t even speak to him this whole time but as soon as you see each other, it’s like you never stopped speaking.”

“I said I don’t know what it is about him, Kay. I don’t want this drama in my life.”

“Oh, come on. At least admit to that much. Of course, you do – otherwise you wouldn’t be here.”

“Can I interrupt, ladies? I have rehearsals soon. I’d like a quick word.”

Danatha nods and leaves to go after Jude.

“I’ve thought about your situation with your brother. I think you should talk to your mother.”

“And say what?”

“Tell her how you feel. There’s no other way. You can’t visit Oliver without her help. You have to make her understand.”

“But how can you say that?”

“Do it for his sake. He deserves this and so do you. You guys deserve to see each other. And since he can’t fight for you, you should fight for the both of you. It’s the only way.”

“Aden…”

“Think about it.”

He kisses my forehead briefly then runs off.

Once he’s gone, I’m left with my demons. Is he right? I love Oliver and I always say that I would do anything for him. But when push comes to shove, am I doing anything for him right now?
I’m not as confused about the issue as I thought I would be. I need to face Nancy – the way I should have faced off our original demon. Had I faced it, Oliver would never have become sick.

He would still be living at home with us and would never have ended up at a sanatorium or hurt me the way he did.
I watch the guys rehearse on stage after they’ve exercised and showered.

That’s when I spot Danatha on the phone with JD. I have no clue how she pulls off lying to both JD and Jude. Her ace might be the fact that she really believes that nothing is happening between her and Jude that could be considered cheating.

As soon as rehearsal is over, Aden beckons me to go on stage. I make excuses but ultimately wind up at his side.

“You see the speaker?” He points to one of the speakers about half a metre away from the edge of the stage. “Jump with me.”

“That seems dangerous.”

Half a metre is not a large distance, but the height of the humongous speakers is not anything to sneeze at. If we jump from here and miss the speakers, we might get seriously hurt.

“Come on, Princess.” Before I can complain even more, he leaps onto the speaker in front of us making me squeak in momentary horror. “I’ll catch you.”

“I don’t want to need to be caught.” I mutter more to myself and hop off the stage onto the speaker.

It isn’t as terrifying as I first assumed it would be. I crouch down and swing one leg over each edge like Aden has done opposite me. The speakers aren’t towers, but they still are high enough for wind to whistle by us, lifting Aden’s hair slightly and making my ponytail swing from time to time.

“Did you think about what I said?”

“I don’t really want to talk about that right now.”

Aden squints, watching me for a moment.

“At least tell me what you’ve decided.”

“I said–”

“Telling me what your decision is does not equate to a valid discussion.”

“Alright, fine. I think you’re right. I’ll talk to Nancy.”

He looks away. I wait, eventually opting to speak despite knowing he’s pissed off.

“So, your next tour is in England?”

I already know that it is. I saw the poster for it online.
He nods.

“When will I see you again?”

“I don’t know. I feel distant from you either way.”

“Don’t be mad at me.”

“You can’t expect me to not be angered with you. You’re deliberately hiding things from me.”

“Ever think that maybe none of it is about you? Ever think that maybe it hurts me to think about it all?”

“You think I like thinking about my problems? No one does.”

“People deal with things differently, okay? Let’s leave it at that.”

“Let’s not. While people deal differently, they often try to be different too.”

“For the sake of whom exactly?”

“You don’t even take your own advice! Do you even ever ask yourself what you can do about the things you’ve experienced? Because all I ever see is you wallowing in your–”

“You don’t know anything about what I went through!”

“And we arrive at the core of the problem.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to leave you in the dark. I promise you. One day, you’ll know everything.”

“Someday over the rainbow.”

“No, Aden. I want to tell you everything – more than I’ve ever wanted to tell anyone – and I will. But it tends to be a very emotionally draining experience. Maybe ask me one thing per day.”

I scoot closer to him and sling my thighs over his, leaning back onto my hands and squinting at him.

“Can I ask you something then?”

I nod.

“Why do you have all those scars on the back of your body?”

I only realise I had been smiling when it falls off my face.