Me: What the hell is this?

Danny: I don't know. Hot Tea Line posted it on Insta

Danny: It's also on TMZ.

Me: Thanks

But what a slap in the face. I've been yearning to have him near and he's off somewhere with some influencer? She gets to touch him, hold his hand, inhale his scent while I try to recall it from a vague memory from six months ago? Wow.

Me: Do you think it's true

I ask, but I sure as hell already know what I think.

Danny: I think you should give it some time. I know it's a lot but try to focus on Sybil. It'll keep your mind off him for tonight.

Danatha's right. Her situation is worse than mine. I'll deal with this shit later. I listen to her for most of the evening, assessing her intensely. Sybil is the farthest thing from conventionally beautiful - at least according to what's in these days.

Her Brazilian heritage is most prominent in her limbs which mimic driftwood in shade and languid motion. Her thin black hair is long enough to cover her shoulder blades, which only elongates her face and highlights her much-hated cheekbones. It's in them that she sees the masculinity she's often teased for.

I don't like antagonising Sybil since she can be quite sensitive about these things, but I think it's her androgynous clothes that get people believing she's less than girly. And the fact that she's taller than all of us does her no favours either.

But even as I admit those things, I'm still not going to allow her to think she's not pretty, because that is most definitely not true either. But only after we brush our teeth do I finally say something.

"You know what? That shit simply isn't true. You don't look like a boy and you're not ugly. I've told you so many times and you never listen."

"I know that, but it's different for you guys. You know me; you love me. You don't see me the way they do."

"Why do their opinions matter more than ours though?"

"Beats me," she shrugs.

I completely understand her. There's something about the perception that strangers have of us that gets to us. I'm not sure if it's vanity, insecurity or the basic rules of socialization. Whatever it is, it's incredibly toxic.

Going to school the next day is beyond difficult. People are whispering, giggling and bursting out into laughter at the very sight of Sybil. She continues hanging her head and watching her feet walk.

In class, she forces herself to focus as people regularly glance at her and sometimes titter. I'm drained by the time it's lunch and am unbelievably relieved to have Danatha be more protective of Sybil while we're eating.

When things don't seem like they could get any worse, I spot blonde bangs and a teal topknot in the sea of heads belonging to the last two people I want to see right now: Cassidy and Amanda, in that order. I knew they were bound to show up.

They head straight for our table, loving the attention they always get - Cassidy for what the guys call her Lara Croft D-cups, and Amanda for her wide hips (which she swears is common for Indian girls), but otherwise athletic physique.

"Hey Billy." Cassidy puts her hand on Sybil's shoulder. Danatha and I don't react, not wanting to aggravate the situation. "Didn't you hear? You're internet famous now. Aren't you excited?"

I glance at Danatha. I am ready to cuss Cassidy and her makeup-manic side-kick out; fuck the consequences. But Danatha's glare is clear: not now.

"I've always thought you'd make a stellar male model; you know, the ones with the unconventional beauty thing going on. After all, you can't just have girls like me up there - gender equality and all."

She roars at her own joke, before her malicious steel blue gaze(almost reminiscent of Jude's funnily enough)centres on Sybil again.

"Anyway, I'd love to stay and chat, but other losers in this hall need my charity."

"Are you okay?" I reach out to hold Sybil's trembling hand as soon as Cassidy's out of earshot. "I'm so..."

I trail off as someone screams. I look up to find Cassidy's hair being pulled.

"LET GO!"

Tonya fists the hair she's grabbed and pulls harder, making Cassidy lean all the way back until they can make eye contact.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"LET GO YOU STUPID SLUT! I'M GOING TO-!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO WHAT?! I'm in charge here and don't you fucking forget it!"

She tugs the hair even more. Cassidy yells at the top of her lungs, but no one lifts a finger to help her - not even Amanda. Her eyes are wide in fear. Her hair is not as thick as Cassidy's (especially since she shaved the sides then triple dyed it), and she knows it.

Mrs Carrigan comes into the hall, prompting Tonya to work faster.

"You better leave my friends alone or next time, this nice dense head of hair will become a nice dense bundle of extensions; got it?!"

Cassidy nods immediately, struggling to not fall over from being bent so much, while pulling down her short pink dress that's threatening to expose a thong I'm sure.

"Hey!" comes Mrs Carrigan's voice.

"Don't you dare say a word." Tonya warns and pulls her up, only to smooth her hair.

"What is going on here?"

"Nothing." smiles Cassidy. She's a damn good actress too. I mean, that's what she's mostly paid to do in most of the commercials coming out of Cleveland. "Tonya was removing a twig from my hair, but you know, she can be a bit rough sometimes."

I knew Cassidy wouldn't say anything. She would never want to be the girl who cried wolf. Mrs Carrigan eyes them as Tonya gives her an innocent look, still moving her fingers through Cassidy's tresses, drawing attention to the shoddy tattoos on her back.

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, Mrs Carrigan. Why? What did you think was happening?"

Ladies and gentlemen, Cassidy's gaslighting at its finest!

"Seems like it doesn't matter. Carry on."
She looks them up and down before turning to go.

"Good girl." mutters Tonya.

Once Carrigan's out of the hall, Tonya caresses Cassidy's hair once before pulling at it again.

"GOT IT?!"

"Ow! Yes, flip!"

Tonya tosses her away, making her fall forward onto Amanda.

"Anybody else want to go? HUH?! IF ANYONE ELSE WANTS TO MAKE FUN OF SYBIL DILLARD, STEP UP NOW!"

The hall is silent except for a single last-minute giggle. Tonya's head whips around. She spots Devin and starts towards him.

"Whoa!" He backs away. "I didn't mean anything by it."

"That better be the case."

"I thought we were friends?!" Devin laughs. "I literally fucked-"

"Oh, we are..."

Tonya gives him a crazy look and jumps forward to bunch up his shirt, holding her other fist by her head as a threat.

"TRY THAT SHIT AGAIN WITH ME! The minute you do: friendship over!"

"Fine." grumbles Devin.

Tonya lets him go at the sound of a tray clattering behind her.

"Only now? Only for your friends?!"

"Fuck off, London." Tonya dismisses her and walks towards our table.

Danatha and I exchange looks as London storms out of the cafeteria. And just when I think it's over, Tonya turns.

"ANYONE ELSE?!" Silence pervades the hall. "Alright, you can all go back to being useless now!"

She spins and makes her way to us, plopping down next to Sybil.

"Are you okay?" she asks Sybil, placing her arm around her.

Sybil latches onto her and nods. While I don't agree with Tonya's methods, she did make Sybil feel protected and that's more important to me than respectability politics in this stupid school. Plus, I can't act like Cassidy didn't deserve it.

"Sorry, I only went online this morning. I came as soon as I could."

She looks up at Danatha who nods at her. I stare at my lap, pretending like my nails are the most enthralling thing in the world.

"I'm going to get food. McKay, can I talk to you?"

I lift my head. She seems sincere. I get up and she follows me as we go stand in the line to get food, even though I already got my lunch.

"I know you're probably not ready to hear my apology, but I'm going to offer it anyway."

"No worries. It's not like I ever expected anything beyond your trademark selfishness."

"I'm trying to play nice here." She scowls.

"You shouldn't have to play nice, Tonya. I'm supposed to be your friend."

"Oh, come on. You know I would wipe the floor with Cassidy for you too."

"Friendship isn't only about defending your friends. This might come as a shock to you, but it also involves being good to said friends."

"I'm being good now."

I shake my head.

"At all times, Tonya."

"I'm sorry."

"You can't be that sorry if you keep repeating it."

"Like I said, I know you're not ready to hear an apology from me. I don't expect you to forgive me yet. I'm even surprised you're still talking to me at all."

"Yeah, we both know if you were in my place, you wouldn't be speaking to me."

"That's why I'm glad for a world where other people aren't even half as messed up as I am."

"Now? Two days ago, you didn't know what you did to deserve a supposed friend like me."

"I'm a bitch; what's new?"

"That's not an excuse anymore."

She takes her full tray and stops before we get to our table.

"Fine, you can hate me; I'll understand. But let me stay here - for Sybil."

I roll my eyes and go sit down. When she looks at me expectantly, I gesticulate for her to sit next to Sybil.

Sybil seems much happier in Tonya's presence so I choose to settle down. I need to think of my friend right now. That meme is so much worse than a bunch of meaningless words could ever be.

Even though it feels like I could never forgive Tonya, I'm not surprised three weeks later to find myself laughing, holding onto her arm that's slung around my neck. That's how our friendship works. I can't stay mad at Tonya. Plus, it's not often that she slights me.

She does usually try her best to hold back. She only ever blows up when the drama between London and her is heightened. I'm already resolved to stay as far as possible from them if they ever clash again.

I don't even mind as I begin to count down the days until Lune Quartz comes to Cleveland. Everyone else in school is buzzing because they're all doing everything in their power to buy tickets to the show since the last show they did was awesome and was the talk of the city.

Meanwhile, I'm bouncing off the walls because my boyfriend is finally coming to town. I know I never addressed the rumours of him and that Youtuber, but I haven't seen him in months.

I don't care anymore. I'll ask him when I see him and this time, I'll take full advantage of the access I have to those full lead-singer-of-the-most-popular-boy-band-in-the-world lips.

The more I stare at his poster on my wall and sniff at Fondue, the more I crave him. The day before Lune Quartz arrives in town feels like the longest on record for the year. The hours seem to be a century, but the more I wait, the more alive I feel.

In the afternoon, I'm all smiles at the study group I attend. By the time the evening is about to roll in, I'm beyond ecstatic. I don't think I can get any more excited to see Aden. I rush to call Nancy and tell her that I'll be spending the whole weekend at Tonya's house. Just as I hang up, I see Aden's call.

"Hey!"

"Hi Princess."

My god, I can't wait to make him say that to me repeatedly until I forget my own name.

"The anticipation is too much for me." I twirl around in the small corridor of my house.

"Trust me; I know."

"What are you doing?"

"Watching the sun set here in Cincinnati."

"Is it beautiful?"

I picture him in my mind's eye and smile at the gorgeous image of his hair, golden in the orange light.

"Watch it with me. The sun sets in Cleveland too, right?"

I open my door and go to the backyard.

"Well, I actually have company. I'm in my backyard with some chickens as my plus... eight?"

"What?"

"Yeah, you only really need a one-word explanation."

"Olive?"

We laugh together. I sit cross-legged on the grass and watch the sunset with Aden on speaker.

"I want to watch this sunset with you tomorrow."

"I can't wait. What time are you guys getting here?"

"Before noon."

The next day is easy. It's like waiting to go to heaven. At ten o'clock, I say goodbye to my friends before leaving Tonya's front lawn. I hug Sybil first, shoving on my favourite blue and yellow sweater, then turn to Danatha. But she stops me.

"I'm coming with you."

"You are?" I ask quietly after Sybil has walked away.

"She's what?" Tonya butts in, taking a huge bite of her green apple.

"None of your business." "Going to see Jude." we say simultaneously.

Danatha's eyes widen as she glares at me.

"Sorry." I cringe.

"You should go," Tonya sneers slyly. Danatha raises a brow at her. "If only to babysit.
"No one's judging you honey. Might as well live your life as if no one's looking - well, except JD. But I can take care of that for you."

Her grin is so sinister; it even gives me pause. Danatha frowns.

"Relax! I'll tell him I got you and McKay special tickets to go see Lune Quartz."

"For the whole weekend?" snorts Danatha.

"Oh, it's the whole weekend? Just kidding then. I'll say you're at my house."

"I told Nancy I'm helping you plan a surprise party for your mother." I remember.

"Fine, whatever. That's the story we're all running with. Concert, then you guys come to my house to help me the whole of Saturday and attend the party on Sunday."

"Why're you being so nice?"

Ever the sceptic, Danatha side-eyes her.

"Can I come on Sunday? I have things to do this weekend, but I'm free then."

"We'll see." Danatha says.

"It's all I ask in return." Tonya reminds her as she goes inside to get our purses.

As we head out, I call Aden to confirm that Yves will come get us in the parking lot. When we get there, someone steps out from the obscure entrance laughing.

"It's not that cold out here."

I shake my head as I grin.

"Yves, my ass!"