This isn't about a scholarship. The only reason I would have for letting him near me is that I'm attracted to him, but that's not enough for me.

Sure, it seemed like enough when I first met him, but now I'd feel dirty kissing him, even if I'm no longer after the funding. Plus, I can't bypass my own morals to have a piece of Aden Arrington. I refuse to.

"Don't kiss me." I say.

But I stay in his arms and trace his skin from the hairline right above his ear, delineating his jaw until I get to the edge of it. He's looking down at me, his eyes hooded as I search for confirmation. His heart thuds heavily against my upper arm. He wants this - he wants me. I kiss the spot my finger has abandoned in the most sensuous of ways.

Aden exhales, his body quavering.

"Don't tempt me any further then."

"I'm not tempting you; I'm teaching you."

"Teaching me what?"

"What's good for you."

"Are you trying to get me to kiss you? Be honest."

"Not anymore. I meant what I said - I'm done. In fact, let's make it a rule."

"I'm not a fan."

"Not to be petty, but you refused me not once, but twice."

"You were trying to seduce me."

"No, I wasn't. But hypothetically, if I were trying to, did it work?"

I grin widely when he grumbles. I nod, getting on my knees and crawling forward, so I can sit on his lap. I'm relieved when he allows me to. His arms go around to my back and his fingers trace vertical paths up and down, pressing my chest into his neck.

Our collective panting, the heat of his breath on my chest coupled with the cold of his icy fingers and rings cause moisture to nest between my thighs.

He grabs the back of them and encourages me to straddle him completely. I hesitantly climb on only to jump in surprise to how delightful it is to sit on him like that, soaked as I am. I back off, out of breath.

"Let's not do this, alright?"

Aden yawns in response, nodding and threading his fingers in the largest braid on the crown of my head.

"Tell me about yourself then."

"Am I your bedtime story?"

"No way; you're my midnight snack."

He smooches the nape of my neck. The gesture is both comforting and sensual to me, lending a smile to my features. How did we even get here? We're acting like a couple for fuck's sake

"I don't know what to say."

"Talk about the things or people you love in your life."

I finally respond to his yawn with my own.

"I love to eat and read - not simultaneously."

"McKenzie."

He pats the floor between his legs as he reproaches me. I sink in between them and cuddle his warm torso.

"I love my family. I love my aunt and sometimes I love my cousin. I love my best friends and my other not so close friends."

"Are we going to play this game of chicken all night?"

We don't. Instead, we fall asleep going back and forth about how much detail I should be putting in my answers.

I jump awake at the sound of tins clanking against the concrete. I look around and see that a man behind us is dragging a white sack full of what sounds like soda cans while talking on the phone. I have no idea how he's able to hear anything over the noise he's making. Aden is above me, hissing.

"Why the hell is he moving so slow?"

I can't help laughing at his drowsy scowl; he looks positively old-man-yelling-at-the-kids-to-get-off-his-lawn like. I get up and offer my hand to him.

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

"The sun's not even out."

"Precisely. Let's go watch it."

I pull him and we go into the sparse collection of trees a few metres from the carnival perimeter. The sky's blue gradient hints to where the sun will first appear from.

We follow it, still holding on to each other. The fabric of his shirt shifts beneath my palm as his back muscles move beneath it.

"I like your shirt, it's so soft to touch."

He smiles facing ahead, thinking I can't see him.

"Carry on."

I'm gently massaging the area I'm holding when his eyes lock with mine. I didn't even know we'd stopped walking.

I'm so mesmerized by his beauty that my voice catches when I try to speak. I want to ask him to kiss me, but I can't - I shouldn't.

Yet, the more he stares me down, the more the lines blur and I'm hazy as to why I'm not kissing him already.

"I'm not very sure of what I'm feeling, but I want you to know that I do have feelings for you and right now, I'm more than okay feeling them."

"So, yesterday you weren't?"

"Stay in this moment, McKay."

"I don't think so. Maybe you're taking me for granted." I move out of his arms and jog forward before turning to face him. "Maybe you need some distance to really figure out how you feel."

"Why are you rushing me?"

"Because you're clearly behind, so when you're tired of watching mine, you can catch up to me."

"You'll be waiting a while. I really have a new affinity for that dress of yours."

I look back to catch his eyes lowered to my ass, so I pull a finger under the hem and inch the dress up slowly as I watch Aden. When he makes a start for me, I squeal and run away from him.

Of course, a few seconds later he's gotten me in his arms. I try to kick away, but he's having none of it even though he's laughing right along with me. When he lets me go, I spin in surprise, only for him to scoop me up again. I twist in his grip, cackling, but it's no good.

When I finally stop, all I hear are our breaths together in the air. I look down at him as he watches my face, his body pressed to mine. He begins to lower me, and I know what he wants. It's so obvious to me because I'm desperate for the very same outcome.

I want to let him kiss me now. I know it's not right at all. But I can't help myself. I want him so much. I can already sense how delicious his lips will feel.

"Christ, McKay. Tell me once will be enough."

His words are a bucket of cold water. What he's hoping for is the last thing I want.

I'm surprised. For once in my life, I'm not letting a guy touch me when he has no intention of doing it again. He won't want more, which is the one thing I've never been able to keep myself from wanting. I doubt I'll start now.

"Please don't."

I push him away. His lull backwards mimics the slow confusion overtaking his features.

"I know we said no kissing on the lips-"

"Aden, please." I say, trying to calm myself. "I can't."

"Why not? You don't need to stick to your initial choice."

"I know. I just..." I sigh. "I should probably tell you why I made that decision. Maybe then you'll understand me."

"That wasn't a seduction tactic then?"

"No, it wasn't." I pick up the pumps that fell when Aden had gripped me so roughly. "You have to understand something about me. Actually, you'd already guessed it."

We stroll onwards as I explain myself.

"The truth is, after everything I went through with... someone, I promised myself that I'd only ever kiss or have sex with someone I really care about - if not love. Don't think for a moment that I'm asking that of you after one day, because I'm not. I was going to make an exception for you before because, well, you're Aden Arrington and you were so good to me.

"But I've had some time to think it over and I shouldn't - for my own sanity." I look up at him. He doesn't seem angry or even upset for that matter. "We can touch and hug and all else, except those two. I can't give you my lips.
"I hope I didn't lead you on too much."

"No, I overstepped. I said I wanted to talk to you, so that's what we should do."

A glint in the corner of my eye catches my attention. I turn and am momentarily blinded by the glare of something.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't know." I start towards where I can see the glinting coming from.

"There's something over there."

"We'll miss the sunrise." he says, gesturing to the end of the trees ahead which faces out to a gorgeous cliff.

But I need to know what was winking at me.

"Now you care? Come, don't make me go alone."

I pull his arm and march forward. Aden concedes, and we approach the source of the peculiar lights. I could never have imagined what I find in front of me.

A single low-hanging weeping willow sits amongst a collection of other trees. It's ornamented with beautiful colourful pieces of glass, small candleholders, ribbons flying free, ribbons tied to pieces of paper, swaths of cloth, bead necklaces, paint brushes, pictures, origamis, paper and plastic flowers - there's no end to the different objects present.

"A shrine." I gasp, stepping into the flimsy curtains.