"McKay?"

Only when he calls my name do I realise that I zoned out.

When I thought of a quip to his comment, I got stuck in the past. I don't like to think about why my siblings have such similar names. It's never a pleasant experience to remember how replaceable my brother seemed to be to my parents.

"Sorry... Yes, it is odd. Uhm, so you were going to singing competitions at six years old?"

"Tap dancing competitions actually."

"What?"

"Believe it or not; that was my dream as a kid - my original dream; that's why we moved to London. The classes were endless and so were the rejections, but my heart told me to keep holding on to hope that I'd get discovered by Nigel Lythgoe or someone."

"Are you serious? You really thought you were going to be a tap-dancing star?"

"Are you mocking me?"

"That depends. Would you dance for me if I asked you to?"

"Of course!"

He pulls himself up and begins tapping softly against the ground - his movements light.

"I really want to make fun of you." I say as he's sitting back down.

"But?"

"I like watching you move." I smile down at my lap. "I like watching you move, period."

Aden, relaxed, grabs my arms to set them back in place on his knees.

"Well, I like watching you breathe, so I guess we're even."

"Oh, no!" I start coughing. "Are you trying to choke me? Why are you stuffing all that cheese down my throat?!"

He joins in my laughter.

"You started it."

"Sorry, I'm not into that sort of thing." I lean back.

"What? Bondage, dominance, sadism, masochism or choking... on cheese?" he retorts, making me snort heavily.

"I won't ask how you know that."

"Blame the Spy Kids franchise."

I fall onto my back, with my stomach hurting and my eyes watering. I'm surprised that we like the same brand of humour, but pleasantly. I move closer to him still, unable to wipe the smile off my face.

I eventually silence him to stare at the moon. It looks so handsome as it sits high in the sky. While I watch, Aden pulls himself towards me.

You have tiny moons and miniscule stars in your eyes.

"You should take a picture and frame it."

"It would never encompass this." His thumb strokes my chin. "You - you look like you belong up there."

Fuck, he is relentless. What exactly does he expect me to think with comments like that?

"Don't I wish. No homework or exams or bad contracts." Or scholarships...

He nods but lets it go. We stay that way for a while until I complain of hunger.

Roaming around doesn't lead us to Danatha or anyone else we know, and chilli fries end up being the most affordable meal, so we munch on them back under the tree.

It's so peaceful to be with him. Even when we don't say anything, I can still feel him there - the force of his keenness cushioning me. He makes me feel good by keeping me company - telling me indirectly that I'm worth it and him.

I can't help the needling in my chest. He's good. He doesn't deserve to be used for his money or connections. Well, I guess I'll have to find another way to fund college.

After eating, I'm back to leaning on his knees and his hands swat mine around between his legs again and again, his expression contemplative.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"A dentist."

"That's all?"

"A good dentist?" I frown, confused.

"Okay, when I grow up, I want to be kind, giving, athletic, green-thumbed, unafraid of the ocean and a father not only biologically. So, I ask again-"

"Oh, how I want to be. Well, I want to be hardworking, perceptive, ambidextrous, retire with my integrity intact, careful but eighteen and the proud owner of a retirement pig farm."

"Charming."

We both laugh.

"It works out: if you do the plants, I do the poultry. I cook, you clean, I wash, you iron-"

"I'm terrible at ironing."

"Oh yeah? Then you're on kid duty."

"Do you really see me there with you?"

"You see someone else?"

"Denise."

Wow - there it is - the one thing I had been dreading. Aden's heart is taken. I can sense it. He's in love with whoever this Denise girl is.

"I like her already. She must have the superior sense of humour to still be occupying your hypothetical retirement farm."

"I left her behind." in England.

"Oh."

"It was a choice."

"Okay."

"I would have stayed for you."

"You don't need to say that."

He doesn't even mean it; he can't. He doesn't have feelings for me; especially compared to the feelings he has for her if the trembling of his voice is anything to go by.

"I'm serious. A friendly piece of advice from you would-"

"We're hardly friends."

"We're not just friends. You know we're not."

"Well, whatever we are, it's never going to matter because you still love her."

"No, it won't matter because we'll never see each other again." I pretend that his comment didn't sting as he continues.

"Your wisdom would have showed me that fame doesn't mean opportunity to make music I love."

"I was a lot younger a year ago, Aden. You wouldn't have stayed for me because I would have said nothing."

"So, we could only have met when we met which is now."

"I never would have followed you here before that and after that, maybe I would have connected to someone else."

Being here with Aden is the wildest thing I have ever done in my life. But I always knew that life would require risks from me in the name of love because after all, its second name at my age, is rebellion. I expected this - maybe not to this extent but I did.

The truth is though, I could have done this with anyone in my class. Hell, I could have done this with my best guy friend Zeke, if we were so inclined. This could have been anyone. I mean, look at Danatha and Jude's chemistry, despite the four years that she's already given to JD...

As if he's reading my thoughts, Aden whispers.

"Yes, I guess you would have."

We both speak in fear. I can feel that he wants me here as much as I want to be here, but not how I want him. I hug his knees close involuntarily and fall asleep to those thoughts.

Aden gently wakes me in the middle of the night to ask me if I want to go back to the mansion.

"Do we have to?"

"We don't have to do anything; only what we want."

I immediately know what his next move will be when his sleepy gaze moves to my lips. They tingle in response. I've finally gotten him to want to kiss me, but I can't let him do it - not anymore.