I finally got the chance to write in this...

it's been so long, I've been beaten over and over again, it's gotten to the point where I don't even bother defending myself anymore...

Worst part is, Alone brought over another person today, he seemed out of it, but was pretty nice. I feel so selfish for saying this, but I'm glad all Alone's abuse won't be directed to me, his name is Uleanra, I believe.

Now, he seems out of control, his attempts to get by the abuse is the complete opposite of mine, I try to behave has much as possible, but he rather is destructive and rebellious, at this point most of Alone's abuse is directed towards him, sometimes late at night I talk with him, Alone set us in the same cage, and when the rest of the creatures are asleep we talk.

I ask him why he does this, and he always tells me that it's to protect me, and to break lose.

He says I'm a pussy for not trying to stand up for myself, but I usually agree. Of course, he says it's a joke, to lighten the dark mood, and once even said that "If you're a pussy then Alone's a huge dick because he keeps putting his sword inside of me" which, embarrassingly, I understand.

The topics turn from thing to thing, but eventually it got to the topic of why we were going through so much trauma.

For Uleanra, it was because he stole something from Alone in the Districts, but was caught and apprehended by Alone. It honestly made perfect since, he's always been rough. And then he asked what made me get so harshly abused, even if I was doing little to nothing wrong.

I explained how I told a guy, Albert, everything.

He seemed to understand, and asked about Albert. I really couldn't say much, since I didn't know him all that well, all I knew was that he was honestly a shy but chill guy, even if at times he has outbursts almost as violent as the autistic author (kill me ;w;)

But something tells me that Alone is beating me for some other reason, because I've always felt the need to rebel. It's as if I did something horrible- nah. It can't be. If I don't remember it, then there's no point in punishing me for it, since I'll never learn.

Uleanra then began to tease me about it! I denied ever having feelings for Albert, I don't even know what love feels like, but Uleanra kept pushing until I gave up, "Fine, I like him, so what?"

He knew I did this just to shut him up, but he was pleased to know if I ever DID fall for him, which I highly doubt I will, I'd tell Uleanra.

Speaking of Albert, it's been a few months since I've seen him, I wonder where he is...

Alone said he was making a Christmas party for us next week, so maybe then I'd see him again. Uleanra just trusted that he was a good guy, so now we wait for dawn, and bare through it until I get a break for two days.

God damn, do I want this to end.

-SELOZAR