A/N: Since nothing interesting happens in the I Solemnly Swear episode, I decided to skip it and write this chapter instead.

The awkward thing was that Emily and Richard decided that it was time to meet Thea's boyfriend. It was no question that Thea took both boys with her because she might as well disappoint them even more, so Thea messed with the edge of her dress.

When Emily opened the door after Lorelai rang the doorbell, she seemed confused.

"Hi, Grandma," Rory said, with a grin. She was excited to see her grandparents' minds explode over the situation. "This is Aiden and this is Sage. They're Thea's boyfriends."

Emily looked extremely confused.

"Hi," Sage greeted with a fake smile.

"Hello," Emily greeted, looking between the two boys, before allowing them to walk in.

She took their coats to hang on the coat rack, before moving them into the living room. She asked, "What would you two like to drink?"

"The blood and tears of my enemies," Sage said.

Emily gave him a look, "I have coke."

"I'll take eight grams of it," Aiden chimed in.

Sage asked, "Are you trying to overdose on cocaine?"

"Can you overdose on cocaine?" Rory asked, confused.

"Someone died in a Sweet Valley High book after trying cocaine," Thea told Rory.

"I remember that too," Rory replied.

"I'll take some white wine," Lorelai said to Emily.

"I'll take nine grams of coke," Rory joked.

Sage and Aiden laughed at that.

"I'll take ten grams of that," Thea added.

Emily just passed out glasses of soda and handed some white wine to Lorelai.

Richard finally came into the living room and noticed Aiden and Sage.

"Richard, this is Sage and Aiden," Emily said. "They're Thea's boyfriends."

Sage and Aiden glanced at each other, before they went to shake Richard's hand.

Richard stared at the both of them as he shook their hands before he went to sit down on the couch next to Rory.

Maybe he learned his lesson from when Rory got mad at him for all those comments to Dean.

Emily sat down while Lorelai awkwardly drank her wine.

Emily asked, "So, Sage, Aiden, what do your parents do?"

"Uh, my mom is a chef at the Independence Inn," Sage replied, because Emily was there for Sookie's wedding. "And my step-dad grows and cross-breds his own fruit and vegetables. According to my half-sister, our biological dad is some corporate dude. I really don't know and I don't really care. As soon as I turned eighteen, he stopped sending child support checks." He shrugged.

Emily asked, "How about you, Aiden?"

"My dad works at Weston's Bakery," Aiden said.

"Oh, how about your mother?" asked Emily.

"My dad killed her," Aiden said. "He got out like two years ago."

Emily and Richard stared blankly at him.

"Way to ease them into it," Rory chided.

"I mean, she was sexually abusive to me when I was four up to when I was eight. She apparently went after a female cousin of mine, and then assaulted one of my friends when we were eight," Aiden explained. "My dad found out about what she did to me and that friend, so he poisoned her. I just recently found what happened to my cousin."

"Ah, well, I'm sure she's right where she belongs," Richard said, looking disgusted at the thought of a woman doing that to her own child.

Emily nodded, "So, uh, when did this thing between the three of you start?"

"Two years ago," Sage said. "I actually met you briefly. You thought I was Rory's date to that Chilton dance, actually. I told you that I was Thea's boyfriend."

Emily nodded, "I faintly recall that."

Thea nodded.

"How did this – uh, start?" asked Richard, motioning to Thea, Sage, and Aiden.

Thea awkwardly launched into an explanation.

After Thea finished explaining, Emily spotted something, "What happened to your arm?"

Aiden and Thea looked at Sage who held out his arm. There was a rather large burn mark on his forearm.

"Yikes," Lorelai said. "How did that happen?"

"I accidentally burned myself with the oven when I was helping my mom with something. She said that using butter will draw out the heat, so she started rubbing butter on my arm," Sage explained. "Then my step-dad came into the kitchen asking, 'What's for dinner?' and backed out slowly because he saw my mom rubbing butter on my arm. And no, it did not work."

For dinner they had lemon-pepper shrimp scampi pasta. Thea was sure that Emily and Richard were glad it was not mystery meat Beefaroni.

Sage and Aiden were putting shrimp on Thea's plate, because she was sitting in between them.

Emily asked, "Do you two not like shrimp?"

"Oh, we do," Aiden replied. "Thea just really loves shrimp."

Richard asked, "So, where do you two plan on going to college?"

"Richard, please don't interrogate the boys like what you did to Dean," Emily chidded.

"Well, I don't know," Sage said. "I didn't think that far ahead considering my mother's accident-proneness. How I did not die is a mystery."

Rory snickered at that.

"Ah," replied Emily.

"But truthfully, probably Yale," Sage said.

"Yeah, same," Aiden replied.

Richard asked, "How are your grades then?"

"Richard, please," Emily started.

"It's fine," Aiden said. "I enjoy getting interrogated like I'm eight-years-old back in the police station. But, I get As and Bs. Like four As and two Bs."

"Except for that D in gym," Sage said.

Aiden retorted, "What's your excuse for that C+?"

"How do you get a D and C+ in gym?" Richard said, confused, "All you basically do is show up, do some exercises, and run around in circles."

"I don't know," Sage said, "Ask Rory that question."

"That's uncalled for," Lorelai told him.

Rory snickered, "It's funny because it's true, though. I suck at athletics."

"My dad straight up got an F," Aiden said.

"How did he manage that?" asked Rory. "I got a D- in gym."

"That's slightly worse than Aiden," Sage pointed out.

"That's because you're all established nerds, even Adam's dad," Lorelai said.

Emily had taken a drink of her wine before asking, "Who's Adam?"

Lorelai pointed at Aiden, "He's Adam, Mom."

"He said his name was Aiden," Emily replied.

Lorelai looked at Aiden, "You're Adam?"

"My name's Aiden," he corrected. "I have never been an Adam."

Emily asked, "Lorelai, how can you not know his name?"

"I thought his name was Adam," Lorelai said.

"I kept telling you that his name is Aiden," replied Rory.

Lorelai asked Aiden, "Since when was your name Aiden?"

Aiden had taken a drink of his soda and looked at Lorelai, "Since the day my parents found out that I was going to be a boy."

"New topic," Lorelai said.

"Lorelai," Emily started.

"New topic, Mom," Lorelai repeated.

Emily asked, "So, what's been going on in your school?"

"Uh, some cheerleaders got expelled because they were caught snorting cocaine off the toilet seats in the locker room restroom," Thea explained.

Her grandparents, Rory, and Lorelai looked at her.

"Then we were supposed to have an assembly to discuss drugs but someone stole the display baggies that were filled with drugs that were supposed to help us identify them," Sage added.

"I doubt there were actual drugs in them," Aiden finished.

"If it were actual drugs, I wonder how that conversation went down with the chief of police," Rory said.

"Probably went something like, 'Uh, Chief, we got a problem,'" Aiden started, using a fake deep voice.

Sage added in a mock deeper voice, "'What problem is it now?'"

Aiden said, "'Someone stole the drugs that I was going to use for the display from the assembly.'" Sage didn't say anything, "'Uh, Chief?'"

"'You're fired,'" Sage told him.

"Man, Stars Hollow High really hit the rails after I transferred schools," Rory said.

"Nah, it was always weird," Sage told her. "You just were too busy reading to even notice."

Rory shrugged, like she was saying, 'Yeah, he's got a point.'

Richard asked, "So, what do you both plan on studying at Yale?"

"I was going to go into the food industry like my mom did," Sage said.

"I was thinking of chemical engineering. With photography on the side," Aiden said.

Thea was surprised by that, "Why did you change your goal?"

"I don't know if I'll even make it as a photographer and chemical engineering sounds like fun," Aiden explained.

"Oh, okay," Thea replied, because it wasn't her place to tell Aiden what career to get.

For dessert they had white chocolate lava cakes, which Richard and Emily also seemed happy for, because it wasn't Twinkies. 

Other than that, the evening seemed to go remarkably well.