There was a delivery man with a wedding gift on the front porch when Thea got downstairs. Sookie had shown up to make food for Lorelai because it was Lorelai and cooking just wasn't her speed. Sage had tagged along because seeing Thea made him happy.

Lorelai had gone to get some movies because it was a Movie Night for her and Rory. So Thea brought in the package, it was decorated with white paper, so it was a wedding gift. Although, she had a feeling that it was from Emily, who still sent the gift regardless of the fact that she knew that the wedding had been called off.

Sage had come over to peer over Thea's shoulder at the gift, "What's that?"

"It's a gift for my mother," Thea told him.

Sage grabbed at the ribbon, "It looks like a wedding gift."

"It is," Thea said, putting the gift on the table.

Rory came out of her room, "What's that?"

"A wedding gift for Mom," Thea said.

Rory went to look at the gift, "It doesn't say who it's from."

"Probably Grandma," Thea said.

"She said she was going to send it back, though," Rory said.

"It could be from Max's parents," Sage said.

Thea asked him, "Why would they send the woman, who called off the engagement with their son, a present?"

Sage asked, "You never sent gifts to your enemies just to trip them out?"

Rory was confused, "Who did you make your 'enemy'?"

"You'll be surprised," Sookie told her and Sage nodded.

Honestly, with the friends that Thea had, she probably wouldn't be surprised.

"It's also an indirect threat, 'I know where you live'," Sage added.

Rory asked, "But who did you make your enemy again?"

"I don't lose sleep over it, so you shouldn't either," Sookie told Rory as she messed with the boiler that she accidentally broke.

"It's probably for the best," Sage added.

"I'm back!" called Lorelai.

Rory called back, "Kitchen!" She and Sookie moved to stand in front of the table to hide the present behind their backs. Sage chose to lift Thea onto the counter to kiss her.

"Hello," Lorelai said, coming into the kitchen.

"Hi," Sookie greeted.

"Hi Mom," Rory said.

Lorelai looked at the couple that was currently making out, "Break it up you two."

Sage pulled away and Thea almost rolled her eyes, because of course she would. But then again, sometimes their makeouts usually lead to them wearing far less clothing.

Lorelai asked Sookie, "What'd you break?"

"Nothing," Sookie said. "Well, the broiler, but this came for you and Max." She and Rory moved apart to show the gift.

"We're thinking it's a wedding present," Rory said.

"Huh. Mmm," Lorelai went to look at the tag, "'Lorelai Gilmore and Max Medina.' Well, I guess news doesn't always travel fast."

"You gonna open it?" asked Sookie.

"No," replied Lorelai.

Sookie asked, "But aren't you curious?"

"No," replied Lorelai. "Just leave it there. I'll take it back tomorrow."

"But it doesn't have a return address," Sage pointed out.

"Well, isn't there a card?" asked Lorelai.

"I didn't see one when I got it from the delivery person," Thea said.

"Maybe there's one inside," Rory replied, eager to open the present and see what it was.

"With the return address on it," Sookie added.

"But that means you'd have to open it to find out," Rory said.

"Fine, give me a knife," Lorelai told Rory.

Sookie made an excited sound as Rory went to get a knife. "Ooh! This is so exciting! Maybe not."

"Move your butt, Thea," Rory told Thea. It wasn't said maliciously.

Thea moved to the side so Rory could get a knife.

Lorelai opened the package and the other three removed the paper.

Sage asked, "Is that an ice cream maker?"

"It's a Musso Lussino 480," Sookie said.

Lorelai joked, "Somebody sent me a fascist ice cream maker?"

"Italian design, stainless steel body, chrome finish," Sookie explained.

"And no card," Lorelai said. "Perfect."

Sookie was excited, "Jackson just got in his apple crop! We can make cider ice cream!"

"Yes, we can," Lorelai said. "Using his ice cream maker, but Il Duce here is going back."

"To where?" Rory said, "Maybe it's an orphan."

Thea got down from the counter, took Sage's hand, and led him into the living room because making out with him was better than what was going on in the kitchen.

In math class, Thea was sitting next to a guy who she was sure was one of Sage's former stoner friends who did crystal meth.

The guy was looking through his backpack for something and a baggy fell out of his backpack. The teacher went over, picked it up, and said, "Here. You dropped your oregano."

Yeah, the teacher had to have known what it really was, Thea was sure.

The only good thing was that Mr. Loughty ended up resigning from Stars Hollow High, probably because of the whole impregnating a woman who came in and shouted at him for it. However, finding a new teacher to take over the position was in the works, Mrs. Landry was the only math teacher.

So at lunch, Thea said, "Mrs. Landry handed him his weed, saying 'you dropped your oregano.' She had to have known that it was weed...right?"

"Yeah, she knows what it is, because she sells drugs on the side," Sage said.

Jess looked at Sage, "How would you know that?"

Sage started, "Coming from the fact that my former friends do drugs..."

"You used to do drugs too," Aiden said.

Jess looked at Sage, "What made you stop?"

"They were nonchalant about crystal meth and tried to trick me into smoking it," Sage explained.

"Oh," Jess replied. "Who's fine with crystal meth?"

"Them," Sage said, using his head to motion to his former friends, who were at their usual table.

It looked like the guy who set the table on fire had returned.

"Oh," Jess replied.

Georgia came over with her lunch.

"Hey, Georgia, you look gorgeous today," Jess told Georgia.

Georgia looked offended, "I looked ugly yesterday?"

"No, that's not what I meant," Jess tried. "I just meant that—"

Thea had to stomp on Jess's foot very hard to get him to stop burying himself deeper in the hole that he just dug, because Georgia would've pushed him in after hitting him over the head with the shovel that Jess was using.

Thea went to go to the Market to get more cat food for her two cats and when Rory decided to tag along because she had to Miss Patty's.

"I told Mom that Tristan and I kissed at Madeline's party," Rory said. "And I wanted to tell Dean but she told me not to tell him."

"I mean, you were broken up at the time, so you're under obligation to tell him whatever you did when broken up," Thea said.

"But I have to tell him," Rory said.

Two weeks ago, Aiden had called to see if Thea could hang out, but Dean was on the phone with Rory, and then Sage called to see if Thea could also hang out with him and Dean for some reason got irrationally angry over the situation, when Dean could've just hung up the goddamn phone...

Then there was also Dean who got irrationally angry when Rory didn't say she loved him back because she was caught off guard...

"I would say tell him, because communication is key to any relationship." Thea said, "I mean, I don't think Aiden, Sage, and I would've gotten this far without communicating with each other. Last week, Aiden told me that he felt like I was spending too much time with Sage and he hated feeling like that because he doesn't own me as a girlfriend and I'm allowed to do whatever I want and Sage is my other boyfriend."

"So, what should I do then? I feel like Tristan will tell Dean," Rory said.

"Then tell him yourself," Thea told her. "It would be worse for Dean to find out from Tristan than it coming from you. You did nothing wrong because he broke up with you. The only problem I see here is that you're not comfortable with telling him that you kissed a different guy for like three seconds while single, which sounds like a Dean Problem not a You Problem."

Rory said, "So, what should I do?"

"Tell him before Tristan does because if I was Dean, I'd rather it from my girlfriend than from the other guy and then run for the hills when Dean starts getting irrationally jealous over something that you did when you broke up because that boy needs anger management lessons and you really deserve better than that," Thea said.

"You're not funny," Rory replied.

"You're damn right I'm not. I'm hilarious," Thea said.

Rory said, "I'm going to tell him."

"Just know that you did nothing wrong because he broke up with you," Thea said.

Aiden and Sage came up to Thea and Rory took off to Miss Patty's because it looked like her group had shown up.

Paris had taken the time out of talking to Miss Patty to give Thea a small smile and a wave in greeting.

Thea awkwardly smiled and waved back because it was kind of weird, not gonna lie.

Aiden and Sage nodded their greetings at Paris too, because she was looking at them curiously, probably wondering if Thea was still dating them, so Thea nodded at her.

Paris gave a thumbs-up because she seemed glad that Thea was still in a relationship.

Aiden, Sage, and Thea continued on to the Market.

"Was that weird to you two as it was to me?" asked Sage.

"Yeah," Aiden said.

"Not really," Thea replied. "I like Paris. She's cool."

Thea, Sage, and Aiden went inside the Market together. Thea went to the pet food aisle to get some cat food while Sage and Aiden went to get condoms.

After getting the cat food, she went into an aisle where a blond guy and Dean were at.

"Well, to be honest, there's something I wanted to ask you," the blond guy said. He picked up two different bags of flour. "In your professional opinion, which one of these would make my cakes fluffier?"

Thea looked at the flours that the guy held, "I'll go with King Arthur cake flour, because it'll make the cakes fluffy and soft."

Dean looked at Thea, "He drove all the way out here just to be a jerk, Thea."

The guy looked at Thea, "We need to stop running into each other like this."

Thea really had no clue how this guy knew her name, she never saw this guy in her life, she was sure.

Dugray asked, "Where's your boyfriend?"

Dean asked, "Which one? She has two."

Aiden and Sage finally came around.

Dean looked at Sage and motioned with his other head, "That's her other boyfriend."

Tristan looked at Aiden, "There you are. Still together, I see."

Sage looked at Aiden and Thea, "Who the hell is this guy?"

"I have no clue," Thea replied.

"You wound me," Dugray said. "Am I really forgettable?"

Sage looked at him, "Well, you are a generic white guy."

"He looks like every love interest ever," Aiden added.

"Very bland and generic," Thea agreed.

Dean seemed to run out of patience and asked Dugray, "Why are you here?"

"I'm here for Rory," Tristan told him.

Dean seemed confused, "What?"

"Oh, here's here to rehearse the play for Romeo and Juliet," Thea told Dean. "I think I heard Rory mentioning that Paris, Madeline, Louise, this guy, and some other guy are here to use Miss Patty's studio."

Dugray asked, "Yeah, I'm Romeo and she's Juliet. She didn't tell you, did she? And then finding out from her own sister? Ouch."

"I'm pretty sure that she would've told you," Thea tried to reassure Dean. She may not like Dean all that much, but she at least knew that Rory would've told him.

"Look, I think you better leave," Dean told Dugray.

"I think we better leave to get away from this weird dick measuring contest," Aiden told Sage and Thea.

Thea nodded.

For breakfast, Lorelai and Rory were eating at the counter with Thea and her friends.

Well, Lorelai was eating, Rory wasn't even touching her burger.

Lorelai asked, "Taking pity on your burger?"

"Not hungry," Rory said.

It was probably nerves.

"Honey, you've got to eat. You're gonna kill yourself in a couple of hours," Lorelai told her. "You really need your strength."

"Ha ha," Rory replied.

"Maybe Dean won't even come tonight," Lorelai said hopefully.

"Oh, he'll be there," Rory said. "There aren't monster truck rallies in the world to keep him away from Miss Patty's tonight."

The door opened.

Lorelai said, "All right, that's it. This afternoon, we are going to engage in some intensive retail therapy to bring you out of this funk."

"No, thanks," Rory replied.

"I mean it," Lorelai said. "Today is the day we finally spring for the Powerpuff Girl shot glasses."

"Hmm, I can't," Rory said. "I promised Lane I'd pick out an outfit for the play tomorrow."

A guy in a hat asked, "Lorelai?"

"Yeah?" replied Lorelai.

The guy said, "Hey, it is you." To the two people behind him, he said, "This is Lorelai. She's the girl I told you about."

"Oh, Paul," Lorelai said. "I'm sorry. I didn't recognize you with the hat."

Paul? Thea was sure that Lorelai went out on one date

"Yeah," Paul said.

Lorelai asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Well, um, getting some coffee," Paul told her.

Lorelai asked, "In Stars Hollow?"

"Well, you know, you talked so much about the town the other night and especially Luke's place, so my mom's crazy for coffee, I thought I'd bring 'em up here for breakfast," Paul replied.

Rory whispered, "The other night?"

Lorelai replied back, "Uh, yes. Paul's my friend from the other night, the uh, casual Wednesday."

"Oh," replied Rory.

"Oh, Paul," Lorelai started, "I want you to meet my daughters, Rory and Thea."

Paul looked at Thea and then at Rory, "Hi, nice to meet you both." He spoke to Lorelai, "Hey, these are my parents, Dorie and Sid."

"Nice to meet you," Dorie replied.

"Pleasure, really," Sid said.

Thea ended up tuning them out because she'd rather focus on her food.

After Paul and his parents left, Lorelai and Rory spoke to each other, before Rory took off.

Luke came to the counter and Lorelai said to him, "What? You wanna say something too?"

"Nope," Luke replied.

"Please don't hold back on my account," Lorelai said.

"I wouldn't," Luke replied.

"Good," Lorelai said.

Luke spoke to Aiden, Sage, and Todd, "Would you guys mind moving down a couple of stools? It'd make me more comfortable."

Aiden, Sage, and Todd moved down a few stools. Thea smirked at that.

"This is me leaving," Lorelai said, getting up.

"Hey, I want to know what the cutoff is," Luke said.

"And no tip, I wonder why," Lorelai said.

"I mean, at least if you had one of those height bars like at amusement park rides..." Luke continued.

"Bye now," Lorelai replied, leaving.

Thea laughed.

Thea, Sookie, Lane, Sage, Dean, and Lorelai stood in the audience at the Chilton Shakespeare Festival.

For whatever reason, a group were dressed up like cavemen.

"Ooh, ooh. He jests at scars that never felt a wound," a boy said, picking up a rock and tossing it. "But, soft! What light through window breaks? It is the east and Julie is the sun."

Sookie asked, "Are you sure this is Shakespeare?"

"It's like something out of one of my acid trips," Sage told his mother, looking as confused as Thea was feeling.

Dean asked, "What's with all the grunting?"

"It's not that bad," Thea said. "It's kind of funny."

Rory walked up to them wearing her costume, "Hey."

"Oh, hey," Dena said.

"Hi," Lorelai replied.

Sookie said, "Oh, honey, look at you! You look like a princess! Doesn't she look like a princess?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "She looks beautiful."

"Mom made the dress," Rory said.

"Not to mention the girl inside it," Lorelai added.

"Hello, gross," Rory said.

"I'm just saying," Lorelai said.

"I'm getting kind of nervous," Rory said.

"Oh, you're gonna be great," Lane said.

"I think act three is starting up," Rory said.

"Henry's act," Lane said. "Um, how do I look?"

"You look great," Thea told Lane.

"Yeah, you might want to hold up to your face so he'll recognize you," Rory added.

"Okay," Lane replied, walking away.

Paris came over, grabbed Rory's arm and said, "I need you." She took off with Rory.

While Rory and Paris were gone, Act 3 came on, which was interpreted as businessmen holding briefcases and fighting with cell phones.

Thea asked, "What is happening?"

"We're watching why people don't interpret Shakespeare while on drugs," Sage said. "You get this."

Henry got 'stabbed' with a cell phone and he fell on the stage floor. He said, "I am hurt. A plague on both your houses! Oh, I am sped. What, is he gone and hath nothing?"

After Act 4 got done it was time for Rory's part, but instead of Dugray coming out, it was Paris.

"A dateless bargain to engrossing death! Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavory guide! Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on the dashing rocks, thy seasick weary bark! Here's to my love!" She drank something and pretended to gag, "Oh, true apothecary! Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die." She face-planted Rory's chest.

And for some reason, that was the end of the play.

"I was expecting more," Sage told Thea.

"Yeah, me too," Thea replied.