A/N: Saw this picture and immediately thought of Sage, Aiden, Finn and Logan having a night in.

Sage would be on top of the fridge, Aiden on the counter, Finn would be staring at the eggs, and Logan, who showed up because Rory was busy, would be sitting in the fridge thinking "Thea's boyfriends need help."

Alternatively, Jess could be the one in the fridge.

Meanwhile, Sage, Aiden, Todd, and Jess are wondering why Georgia, Thea, and Liberty go to the restroom together all the time, throwing out theories that they're checking their make up or adjusting some clothes or fixing hair.

Meanwhile, what the girls are actually doing:

Georgia is the one hanging upside down, Thea is on top of the stall doors and Liberty is posing.

That is all.

For some reason, there was an awkward silence in the living room at the grandparents' house. Thea messed with the edge of her dress. She had to wear a white shirt under it because Aiden had gotten a little too enthusiastic while having sex with Thea and left a little too many hickies that Emily would not approve of. 

So, here they were, sitting in the living room, awkward as hell.

"Well, this is nice, isn't it?" Rory said, "So, Grandma, Grandpa is traveling again, huh?"

"Yes, he is," Emily replied.

"Business must be good," Rory replied.

"Seems to be," Emily stated.

"That's great," Rory said. "Isn't that great, Thea, Mom?"

"Yeah," replied Thea.

"A jig is forthcoming," Lorelai said to Rory.

"Mom's business is great, too," Rory said. "I mean, not that it's without its problems, you know, but they're usually funny problems...like, um...oh!" To Lorelai, she said, "Mom, why don't you tell Grandma about the mouse?"

"What mouse?" asked Emily.

Rory prompted, "Mom?"

"There's a mouse at the inn," Lorelai replied.

"Is the place dirty?" asked Emily.

Lorelai clarified, "No, it's just surrounded by this thing called nature and...mice happen."

"Mice carry diseases, you know," Emily told her.

"It's a tiny little field mouse, Mom," Lorelai told her.

"I don't care how big it is, it's still a rodent," Emily said.

Thea said, "And who knew that one rat would cause the Bubonic Plague?"

"See?" replied Emily.

Lorelai said, "Let's just change the subject, shall we?"

"You should set a trap," Emily told her.

"Got it covered," replied Lorelai.

"Just make sure you don't use poison," Emily continued to suggest.

"Got it covered," Lorelai replied.

"They will eat the poison and then go into the walls and die, decompose, and the entire place will smell," Emily explained.

"I've got it covered, but thanks," Lorelai told her.

"I just have to say, I don't know why you're the one sitting here with an attitude," Emily said. "I'm the one who should be mad."

Lorelai said, "Let's not do this, okay, Mom?"

Emily continued, "After all, you're the one who just walked out of here last week without saying a word."

Lorelai defended herself, "Because I couldn't get a word in."

Emily said, "Your father and I were shocked and upset."

Lorelai said, "So what else is new?"

Emily continued, "You didn't give us five minutes to digest the news."

Lorelai said, "Please, find the off switch."

Emily said, "You simply dumped it on us and walked out. I hardly think that's fair."

Lorelai explained, "Mom, it doesn't matter. It's over. Let's just move on, okay? We came here to have a nice evening, so...come on, let's have it." She picked up the newspaper from the coffee table.

Thea was thinking that her family could really benefit from a therapist appointment. They would probably make the therapist extremely wealthy from just two sessions.

Rory said, "Something smells good."

"Braised lamb shank," Emily told her.

"Oh, braised lamb shank!" Rory said, "I love a lamb shank when it is braised."

Lorelai was looking at the paper, "oh my god."

"Reading in front of other people is extremely rude, Lorelai," Emily chided.

"Shauna Christy shot her husband," Lorelai told Emily.

"What?" replied Emily.

"Shauna Christy," Lorelai said. "You remember Shauna Christy."

"Yes, I remember Shauna Christy," Emily said. "She was a lovely girl."

"Apparently not so lovely if she murdered her husband," Thea said, taking a drink of her soda.

"Well, apparently this lovely girl came home to find her husband giving the nanny a nice little bonus package," Lorelai said "And they say good help is hard to find."

"That's just gossip," Emily said.

"Gossip?" repeated Lorelai. "The man was shot thirty-five times. He looks like a sprinkler system."

Thea wondered how Shauna reloaded the gun while it happened. Unless she had a machine gun. Just reloading the gun sounded exhausting.

"I can't believe this," Emily said. "Shauna was always such a nice girl. She was bright, cultured, well-spoken..."

"And apparently a big Annie Oakley fan," Lorelai joked.

"This is not funny, the woman committed a crime," Emily said.

"Yeah," Thea agreed. "She turned her cheating husband into Swiss cheese, Mother."

Rory snickered at that remark.

Emily gave Thea and Rory a look.

"Okay, fine," Lorelai replied.

"This is a tragedy," Emily said.

"My bad," Lorelai said. "Sorry."

"A man is dead, a young woman ruined," Emily continued.

"And the nanny's mental health is in tatters," Thea continued. "PTSD from witnessing the crime and her reputation down the drain from screwing a married man with kids, considering she was a nanny. Probably no job prospects either." She looked at Lorelai, "Unless the nanny was also murdered."

"Consider the subject dropped," Lorelai said.

"At least she had a husband to kill," Emily added.

Lorelai said, "This is nice, isn't it?"

Rory looked at Thea, "Hey, if you found Aiden and Sage cheating on you, what would you do?"

"Publically humiliate them. Let the entire know what they had done and let the townies shame them for it," Thea replied. "Death is cheap. Maybe take their money too. But publicly humiliate them. Let the other girls know what they would do. Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Jess was behind the counter at Luke's, pouring coffee for his friends (minus Georgia, who was late), while Luke and Liberty delivered food.

"Okay, so I was thinking," Todd started.

"Always a bad start," Liberty said.

Georgia came in and sat down in her spot, "Sorry. My mom lost her keys and we were trying to find them. Turns out she accidentally put them in our fridge."

Todd seemed confused, "How did she put her keys in the fridge?"

"She came home late from the hospital and just stuck them in the fridge," Georgia explained.

Her mother, Annette, worked as a nurse at the hospital.

Then Dean came in.

In the morning, Thea got dressed for the first day of school.

She put on black thigh-high socks before grabbing her messenger bag before going into the kitchen.

Rory laughed.

Lorelai said, "Stop!"

"It's funny," Rory said. She looked at Thea, "Kirk asked Mom out."

Thea snickered because it was funny. "Gotta admire the guts it took for him to do that."

"It's not funny, it's bad!" Lorelai said, "I have to see this guy. He works at every business in town, I can't get away from him!"

"Well, then you should marry him and move in with his mother," Rory replied.

"I'll handle it myself, thank you very much," Lorelai said.

"Gotta start memorizing all the names of his siblings because they're going to be your in-laws," Thea added.

"Ha!" exclaimed Rory.

"Different subject please," Lorelai said. "So you have your swearing in ceremony today."

"At three," Rory said. "Do not be late. And take Thea with you."

"I will not be late," Lorelai said.

"Okay, I have something to tell you," Rory said.

"Is it about Vince Foster?" asked Lorelai.

"It's about Grandma," Rory replied.

"Oops," Lorelai said.

"She's coming today," Rory told her.

"No!" replied Lorelai.

"Mom, I'm sorry," Rory said. "She found out about it, she called..."

Lorelai said, "And you said yes?"

"She's my grandmother," Rory pointed out.

"So?" replied Lorelai.

Rory asked, "So what am I supposed to say?"

Lorelai said, "Say 'Sorry, Grandma, but if my mother sees you, she'll run screaming down the hall.'"

Rory countered with, "You'll be sitting there listening to the ceremony, you hardly have to talk at all."

Lorelai started, "Rory."

Rory said, "Hey, we are family."

Blood makes you related. Love and loyalty makes you family, Thea thought. She considered her friends her family. She left the house to go to the diner.

Thea had gotten pulled out of school early, because Rory wanted her at the 'swearing in ceremony' since it took thirty minutes to get to Hartford.

The thing is, Thea knew that it was actually at 3:15 since that's what Rory said.

Rory was standing in the hallway when Lorelai ran up to her. "Ah, time?"

"3:01," Rory told her.

"No, oh man, not fair, stupid traffic lights," Lorelai said.

"That's okay," Rory replied. "It doesn't start 'til 3:15"

"But I so tried to – you lied to me," Lorelai said.

"Did I?" asked Rory.

"You said it was at three," Lorelai said. "And it's at 3:15."

"Well, I guess I did," Rory said.

"Ah! That's it," Lorelai warned. "I'm standing up in the middle of your speech and demanding a recount."

Rory asked, "Shall we seat you two?"

"Betrayed, lied to and humiliated," Lorelai said as they walked into the auditorium.

"Well, get used to it – I am in politics now," Rory said.

Lorelai started, "Hey, where's, uh..."

"She's not here yet," Rory said as she led them to some seats.

Lorelai asked, "You told her the real time, didn't you?"

"Well, Grandma can handle structure," Rory said. She pointed to some seats, "How's this?"

"Fine," Lorelai said.

"Okay, great," Rory said. "You and Thea can sit there and Thea can put her bag on that chair next to her to save it for Grandma."

"Nice," Thea replied. "I'm a barrier now. Although it would do some good to avoid them slap-fighting each other."

"Yeah, great idea," Lorelai said.

Thea sat in the chair in the middle and put her messenger bag next to her.

"Thank you," Rory said. "Now, I'll meet right outside afterwards, okay?"

"Okay," Lorelai said. "I just want you to remember three things while you're sitting up there: I love you, you're the greatest kid in the world, and you're in a skirt, keep your knees closed."

"Bye," Rory said.

"Hey, this is good advice," Lorelai said. "When I was in school, Linda Lee was class treasurer and she could not keep her knees closed if they were magnetized. Hanes should've given her an endorsement deal."

Rory walked away and Thea looked through her bag. 

"Lorelai! Thea!" called Emily.

"Hi, Mom," Lorelai said.

Thea took her messenger bag off the chair so Emily could sit down. Emily looked at the short skirt Thea was wearing. "And they allow skirts that are that short in school?"

"It's a new school year. I've decided to embrace my whore label," Thea told her. In history, Chuck Presby sat behind her and kept whispering, 'Whore. Slut.' at her, so Thea had turned around in her seat, and said to him, "You just hate me because I won't go down on you." And that was the end of it.

After the ceremony, they waited outside the auditorium.

"Is Rory coming out?" asked Emily.

"She said she will," Thea said. "She probably just got held up by something."

"It was a nice ceremony," Lorelai said.

"Yes, it was," Emily replied.

"Long," Lorelai added.

"Very long," Emily added.

"The longest," continued Lorelai.

Emily started, "Lorelai—"

Rory came up to them, "Hey. You're both here."

"Yeah, we're here," Lorleai said.

"Of course we're here," Emily replied. "We wouldn't have missed it for the world. You looked wonderful up there, Rory."

"Yeah, good job with the knees," Lorelai added.

"Thank you," Rory replied. "I'm gonna run to my locker and get my backpack, then we can go."

"I'll be here," Lorelai said.

"Bye Grandma," Rory said and took Thea's arm, because she knew that Lorelai and Emily needed to hash out their drama.

Thea was just glad to get away from them.

The next day at school, during lunch, Thea said, "I forgot to mention it, but Kirk had asked Lorelai out."

"Gotta admire the guts on that guy," Aiden said.

Liberty asked, "Did she spit on him?"

"As far as I know, she didn't answer him yet," Thea said.

One of the stoners proceeded to set his hands on fire, since he used lighter fluid, and started running around.

Craig put the fire out by tossing his chocolate milk onto the guy.

Thea couldn't wait to get out of this school.

Later, a naked couple fell through the ceiling tiles in the middle of Thea's government class, almost landing on the teacher. Apparently the classroom was empty and they were having sex.

Thea was sitting on the couch, in a regular sweater and skirt, because apparently it was Skirt Day at the grandparents.

Thea was listening to Lorelai complain about Emily, "I'm not going."

"You are going," Rory replied.

"She has done this to me for the last time," Lorelai said. "From now on, I'm not giving her any information about my life at all."

"As opposed to all the details you've heaped upon her in the past," Rory said.

"I can't believe she called Christopher. She has no respect for me or my feelings or my privacy," Lorelai said.

"Well, she didn't think of it that way," Rory explained. "She thought she was helping."

Lorelai joked, "You do know there isn't a Santa Claus, don't you?"

"Please just try to forget this," Rory said.

"I'm never ever going over there again," Lorelai continued.

"Not an option," Rory said.

"It should be," Lorelai said. "Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life."

That was true, Thea thought. And Thea knew who the first person she was cutting out of her life. She glanced over at Lorelai.

"She's your mother," Rory said.

"I want proof," Lorelai said. "I want tests done."

"Do you want your red purse or your blue?" asked Rory.

"Blue," Lorelai said. "Gee, I wonder who else she's calling. She's probably on the phone to Kirk right now. 'I heard through my spies you're taking my daughter out to dinner. Let's talk China patterns.' God, I'm furious!"

The phone rang and Thea considered answering the phone.

Lorelai said, "Don't get that, it might be her."

Rory said, "Well, I doubt she'd call when we're supposed to be over in half an hour."

On the answering machine, Kirk said, "Hello? Hello?" It sounded like he hung up.

Lorelai pointed out, "The answering machine confused him."

Rory said, "Yeah."

Lorelai also pointed out, "And that's the guy who likes me."

"Kirk's a nice guy," Thea said. "A little airheaded, but really nice. At least he has a job." She thought about it, "At least a lot of jobs."

Lorelai said, "My life stinks. Hey, let's look into each other's eyes and say 'I wish I were you' at exactly the same time – maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday!"

Rory said, "Or we can just pretend that we did and you can go around acting really immature. Oh wait..."

Lorelai said, "I can't believe you won't switch bodies with me."

Rory said, "Forget it. Then I'd have to date Kirk."

Lorelai looked at Thea and seemed to think about it. Thea looked at her. "Never mind on Thea."

"Why not?" asked Thea. "You don't want to be in the middle of two guys?"

Lorelai looked at Rory, electing to ignore that, "I would switch bodies with you in a heartbeat if you wanted."

The phone rang again.

Rory said, "I know, and I appreciate that."

"Lorelai, hi. I just called, I think there might be a problem with your phone," Kirk said.

Lorelai said, "Oh my God."

Kirk continued his message, "I was just wondering if I could ask you..."

Lorelai said, "Let's go."

They rushed out the door.

Lorelai rang the doorbell several times, before Emily finally answered the door.

"Hey, I don't think your doorbell's working," Lorelai said.

Emily said, "Believe me, it's not the doorbell."

Emily's new maid walked up behind them, "Oh, so it was the door."

"Yes, Sarah, once again, it was the door," Emily told her.

"Okay, so I just have to remember that the really big bell is the door and the small one is the oven," the maid, Sarah, said.

"Yes, that would be a wonderful thing to remember," Emily told her and Sarah walked away. "Okay, well, let's have a drink, shall we?"

They walked into the living room.

Rory asked, "So, Grandma, you have a new maid?"

"Yes, I do," Emily replied.

Lorelai said, "Well, good thing we're in time for happy hour."

Emily asked, "Wine, Lorelai?"

Lorelai said, "Uh, yeah, if there's any left."

Emily asked, "Rory, Thea – soda or water?

Rory said, "Uh, soda please."

"Water for me," Thea said.

Emily asked, "Rory, how about water?"

Rory said, "Water's fine, too."

Lorelai asked, "What's up, Mom?"

"Nothing," replied Eily.

"You seem tense," Lorelai said.

Emily pointed out, "You always think I seem tense."

"But tonight you seem tenser than usual," Lorleai stated.

"Well, I'm not!" exclaimed Emily, proving Lorelai's point. She passed out drinks, "Rory, Thea, tell me about school."

"Oh, okay, um..." Rory started, "School's good."

"Do you like student government?" asked Emily.

"I think so," Rory said.

Emily asked, "And your grades are still good?"

Rory replied, "Yes."

Emily asked, "Do you take any sort of physical education?"

Rory said, "Not this semester."

Emily said, "But eventually you will take some sort of physical education?'

Rory said, "I'm not sure."

Lorelai said, "But trust me – the minute she decides to run after a ball and take a public shower with thirty other girls, you are getting a call."

Emily said, "Well, thank you. How about you, Thea? What horror stories do you have?"

"A kid rubbed lighter fluid on his hands and caught them on fire," Thea said. "And two kids having sex fell through the ceiling because the classroom was empty. They almost fell on the teacher."

Sarah entered the living room, "Dinner's ready!"

"Sarah, one minute please," Emily told her.

Sarah said, "Yeah?"

Emily explained, "I told you we eat dinner at seven...and right now, it's six-thirty. Therefore, one could conclude that maybe it's just a tad early for dinner."

Sarah said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I—"

Emily said, "We want to eat at seven!"

Sarah said, "But the food's ready now."

Emily replied, "Okay, never mind, we'll eat. We're eating. Up, up, let's go." They walked toward the dining room. "It's fine. It's better – then we can all be in bed by nine. Sit down."

Lorelai said, "Mom, tell us what is up right now."

Emily asked, "What is up with what?"

Lorelai pointed out, "With you, with her, with you and her."

Emily explained, "Well, she's new, Lorelai. She's only been here three days, she's still getting the hang of things. I think it's only fair to give the woman a chance. Why are you staring at me?"

Lorelai pointed out, "Mom, you've had maids deported who were better than her."

"I have not," replied Emily.

Lorelai said, "Talk."

Emily finally explained, "Your father made a crack the other day about my not being able to keep a maid."

Lorelai replied, "Ah."

Emily said, "Of course, it's a gross exaggeration. Yes, I've had maids I haven't liked, but I've also had maids I've loved."

Lorelai challenged, "Name one."

"Daiha," replied Emily.

Lorelai asked, "Who?"

Emily said, "You remember, she took you shopping once."

Lorelai asked, "How old was I?"

Emily admitted, "I don't know."

Lorelai said, "Guess."

Emily said, "Four, five."

Lorelai said, "Mom, you haven't liked a maid since I was four or five?"

Emily said, "I have liked a maid; you asked me whom I loved. I loved Daiha."

Lorelai asked, "And whatever happened to Daiha?"

Emily replied, "Oh, how should I know? But I loved her."

Sarah came in with some plates, "Okay, so salad?"

Emily said, "Thank you, Sarah."

The doorbell rang, confusing Thea, because she was curious to the know who was at the door.

Sarah said, "Oops, big bell." She went to answer the door, taking the salad plates with her.

Emily called, "Sarah, the salad! Sarah!" To her daughter, she said, "Pass the wine, Lorelai."

Lorelai joked, "You want a straw with that?"

"Who's at the door?" asked Thea.

Emily asked Lorelai, "You're enjoying this?"

Lorelai said, "Well...yeah."

Thea almost groaned, because Christopher walked in, "Lor, I need to talk to you."

"Chris, what are you doing here?" asked Lorelai.

Thea found it funny how the first thing Christopher did was zero in on Lorelai. No 'hi, how are you doing' to Rory.

Christopher said, "You won't return my calls!"

Lorelai asked Emily, "Did you do this?"

Christopher said, "I knew you'd be here."

Emily said, "I did not do this."

Christopher said, "You gave me no choice."

Lorelai told Emily, "After I told you to just stay out of it!"

Emily said, "Lorelai, I did not do this!"

Lorelai told Christopher, "You have to go."

Christopher said, "I'm not going until you talk to me."

Lorelai and Christopher walked down the hallway to hash their issues out there.

Emily called after them, "Christopher, Lorelai, come back here!"

After a moment, Rory went after them, and Thea followed after.

"You keeping Rory from me," Christopher accused Lorelai.

"What?" asked Lorelai.

Christopher said, "I never, ever thought you'd do that."

Lorelai said, "I'm not keeping Rory from you. Or even Thea for that matter."

Christopher asked, "Oh really? Then why hasn't Rory called me back, huh? I mean, no matter where you and I have been in our lives, my daughter has always called me back – until now."

Lorelai started, "Hey, listen to me—"

"I didn't call you back because I didn't want to," Rory said. "Me – Mom had nothing to do with it." She was getting upset.

Lorelai said, "Okay, honey, calm down."

Rory said, "You promised me. You promised me at Sookie's wedding that this was going to work, that you were going to be there, you promised me."

Christopher started, "Honey, please understand—"

"No, I always understand, and I don't wanna understand!" Rory said, "I don't even really wanna talk about this right now. I've got Mom and Thea, that's all I need. Go be somebody else's dad!"

Christopher said, "Don't say that."

Rory said, "I'm going upstairs. Call me when he's gone." She went upstairs.

Thea looked at Christopher, "I hope you'll be a better dad to Sherry's kid than you ever were to me or even Rory for that matter. Because you're sure as hell weren't my father. Not even close." She followed after Rory.