There was another uneventful Friday Night Dinner. Four days prior, Lorelai had freaked out over Thea missing a period and gave her a pregnancy test. Thea figured that it was just late, because it's happened because sometimes it just didn't arrive on time, like apparently it does to Rory and Lorelai. Once, Thea missed an entire period even though she was a virgin at the time, which was kind of freaky and once, she got another one two weeks after she had hers, but it lasted three days.

Thea took the stupid pregnancy test, which came back negative. And the day after she took the test, the red river started flowing, because of course it did.

Thea never got an apology and she didn't expect one.

"Everyone's awfully quiet tonight," Emily pointed out.

"Sorry, Mom, I'm just tired," Lorelai said.

"Me too," Rory said, "School."

"Work," Lorelai said.

"Life," Rory added.

"Dig it man," Lorelai said.

"Peace out Humphrey," Rory said.

Thea didn't get the reference.

"Mystery," Emily said. "Well, this is just ridiculous. Three intelligent women sitting here in complete silence. There must be something to talk about. Do you know that every night at dinner, the Kennedy clan would sit around the table having lively debates about everything under the sun? They would quiz each other about current events, historical facts, intellectual trivia. Now the Gilmore clan is just as smart and worldly as the Kennedy's, so come on – somebody – say something."

"A girl threw a pen and it stabbed a girl in the eye," Thea said. "Her whole eye turned blue and the ink stains on the ground finally went away. She's not permanently blind that eye, thankfully. The pen thrower was one of the kids who stabbed me in the back with a sewing needle. She got expelled."

They stared at her.

"Emily!" called Richard.

"In here," Emily called back. "Just follow the sound of horror when Thea talks about what's going on in her school."

Richard came in, "I am sorry I'm late, but I come bearing wonderful news." He went to sit down.

Emily got up to tend to him and called into the kitchen, "Siri! Bring Mr. Gilmore a plate!"

"I just got off the phone," Richard said.

Emily asked, "Would you like to change first?"

"No, no, no, I'm fine," Richard said. "So I—"

"Siri!" interrupted Emily. "Mr. Gilmore is hungry!" She unfolded a napkin to place in his lap.

"Emily, I am perfectly capable of putting a napkin on my lap," Richard told her.

"All right, I'm sorry," Emily said. "You were on the phone."

"Long distance," Richard said.

"God?" asked Lorelai.

"London," corrected Richard.

"God lives in London?" joked Lorelai.

"My mother lives in London," Richard told her.

"Your mother is God?" asked Lorelai, not letting go of her bit.

"Lorelai," Richard said.

"So, God is a woman," Lorelai said.

"Lorelai," repeated Richard.

"And a relative, that's so cool," Lorelai said. "I'm gonna totally ask for favors."

Richard spoke to Rory, "Make her stop."

"Oh, that I could," Rory said.

"You spoke to your mother," Emily said.

"Yes, I did," Richard replied. "She's fine, she sends her love and...she's coming to visit."

Emily deadpanned, "What?"

"You're kidding?" asked Lorelai.

"When?" asked Emily.

Rory happily asked, "I'm gonna get to meet my great-grandma?"

"Lorelai the First," Richard said.

"When?" repeated Emily. She didn't seem happy to hear the news about her in-law visiting.

"I was named after her," Lorelai told Rory.

"I figured," Rory said.

"Richard when?" asked Emily.

"You're going to love her," Richard told Rory. "My mother is brilliant, absolutely brilliant."

"We share that also," Lorelai said.

"I'm asking a question here," Emily said. "Does no one hear me? Am I suddenly invisible?"

"Welcome to my world," Thea told Emily.

"I'm sorry," Richard said. "What was the question?"

Emily asked, "When is your mother arriving?"

"A week from today," Richard said. "Rory, Thea, I'm telling you, it's going to be such a treat."

"Excuse me," Emily said, getting up to leave.

"I still can't get over that I'm related to God," Lorelai said, really not letting go of that bit.

Thea threw her head back and groaned.

After dinner, Rory and Lorelai were talking about Lorelai the First.

"So, tell me more about her," Rory said.

"I don't really know that much," Lorelai replied.

"Well, you know more than I do," Rory said.

Lorelai said, "Well, let's see. She moved to London when Grandpa died, but she didn't like to travel, so once a year, Mom and Dad would go to visit her, usually leaving me behind, much to my relief, by the way, and that's it. The rest I know from stories just like you."

"Grandpa says I remind him of her," Rory said.

"That is the biggest compliment that can be wrenched out of Grumpy McFarlen, believe me," Lorelai replied.

"I hope she likes me and Thea," Rory said.

"She'll love you," Lorelai said.

Rory said, "I hope and Grandma get along."

Thea saw the way Emily reacted when she got the news of Lorelai the First visiting. There clearly was bad blood there.

"She'll love you," Lorelai said, using the same tone the first time she 'she'll love you.'

There was a new boy at school. His name was Craig and he was a twiggy looking, sixteen-year-old boy with bright red shoulder-length hair. He never talked, but according to Emiko and Mikayla, he had been in juvie for a few years, but they didn't know why. That's all they knew, but if he never talked, Thea wasn't sure how they knew that.

He was at least 5'6 and he did have a tattoo of a phoenix on his right arm. He just never spoke. Thea knew that, because her locker was next to his.

So, in between classes, Thea was getting a notebook out of her locker when the door to the vice principal's office opened and some wannabe gangster kid (that at least half the school were annoyed by) stomped out of the office.

The vice principal yelled, "I'm not done talking to you, you need to come back to my office!" the vice principal yelled.

The wannabe gangster yelled, "Fuck off, bitch!" over his shoulder.

Craig went up to the wannabe gangster and in the deepest voice Thea ever heard, said, "You do not disrespect a teacher!" and proceeded to punch the wannabe gangster right in the face, flooring him.

The vice principal got the biggest shit-eating grin Thea had ever seen, "You really didn't have to do that."

Craig went back to his locker, grabbed his backpack, said, "Hey," to Thea and left.

Everyone was just staring at the new kid. 

Craig and Thea ended up as partners for a history project. They had to make a newspaper that seemed like it came from the 1920s and Craig's house was out because of reasons.

Thea asked, "You want some coffee?"

"I don't like coffee," Craig said in his deeper than the ocean voice.

Thea had no idea how a guy can have that deep of a voice, "You don't?"

"It smells really good but it's really gross," Craig said, "To me at least." He looked at some pictures of Lorelai and Rory. "Do you even live here? You're only in one picture."

"Yeah," Thea said. "I'm used to it."

"It's not right," Craig replied.

They went into the kitchen together. "When you hit puberty, how pissed was your dad that your voice was deeper than his?"

"I wasn't hit by puberty. I was mugged by it," Craig said.

No wonder he didn't talk. When he first spoke in history, a boy said, 'I didn't know you could go through puberty twice.' Even Mr. Fisher looked offended because a child's voice was deeper than his and banned Craig from even talking in the classroom.

Georgia showed up, because she wanted to play with the new kitten that Thea had gotten, and possibly to check out the new guy.

So, they were sitting around, discussing stuff from the 1920s

Craig started, "I was thinking that for—"

Lorelai rushed in the kitchen and asked, "Where's the man?"

Georgia asked, "What man?"

"The man that was just talking," Lorelai said.

"There was no man," Thea said.

"I just heard him," Lorelai said.

"I get that a lot," Craig said, and Lorelai stared at him with her mouth open. "I once ordered pizza over the phone and the woman on the other end called me 'sir' when I was just thirteen."

"That voice is not allowed to come out of you," Lorelai told him. "You're not allowed to sound like you hit puberty at two-years-old."

"Oops, my bad," Craig replied.

Lorelai asked Thea, "Do you know where the hat rack is?"

Thea was confused, "Hat rack?"

"The used hat rack that your grandmother gave us for Christmas," Lorelai said. "Your great-grandmother gave it to her and your grandmother gave it to us."

"I don't know," Thea replied.

Lorelai practically rushed them out of the house, because she wanted to watch Emily squirm over Lorelai the First being there, which was just rude.

On the way to Hartford, Lorelai was laughing manically while Rory repeated 'mean'. When they finally got to the house, Lorelai and Rory got out and carried the coat rack to the door.

"God, this thing weighs like a thousand pounds," Rory said.

"I know, I know," Lorelai said. "Here, put it down."

They set the coat rack down while Rory asked, "What are we doing?"

"Well, in case Gran comes to the door, you know," Lorelai said.

"Good thinking," Rory said.

"I mean, she's eighty," Lorelai said. "The eyes have got to be gone, right?"

"Let's just try to keep her inside the house," Rory said.

"Good thinking," Lorelai said and knocked on the door.

Emily opened the door, "Do you have it?"

"We got it," Lorelai said.

"Hurry up," Emily said. "Bring it in here."

After some grunting they picked up the coat rack and carried it inside the house.

"Okay, quiet, be quiet," Emily said.

"Okay, Mom, thanks for the direction and all, but, um, we need some help," Lorelai said.

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Emily said, grabbing the top of the rack.

Lorelai spoke to Rory, "Careful honey."

"Watch it, watch your head," Emily said. "Get it over here." They set it down, "Okay, yes, yeah, I think that was about – no, I think it was maybe a little more on the left. Oh god, I should have put tape down."

Thea put her coat on the rack and went into the living room.

A woman was reading a newspaper with what looked like either a monocle or a magnifying glass on a chain.

"Hello," Thea said.

The woman looked at her, in an almost critical manner, "Ah, you must be either Rory or Thea."

"I'm Thea," the teen replied.

"Come here," Lorelai the First said. Thea went up to her, "Not very tall, but that's okay, because neither am I."

"Thanks?" replied Thea.

Lorelai the First said, "How's your health?"

"Mostly good," Thea said. "I haven't gotten sick since I had that chest infection when I was eight."

"Well, Gilmore's don't get sick," Lorelai the First replied. Richard had gone to get his mother a drink.

"Mom," said Emily. "Look who's here."

Lorelai the First didn't look away from Thea, "Who?"

"Well, look," Emily said with a forced smile.

"If I wanted to look, I would look," Lorelai the First said. "I haven't looked therefore you must draw your own conclusions." Richard passed her a drink, "Ah, thank you, dear boy."

"You're welcome, Trix," Richard told her.

Rory asked, "Trix?"

"Dad's pet name for Gran," Lorelai explained.

"Isn't it just darling?" asked Emily.

All Thea thought of was Trix Yogurt.

"Hi Gran," Lorelai said.

Trix seemed surprised, "Lorelai."

"Yes, it's so good to see you again," Lorelai said.

"Trix, this is Rory," Richard said. "You haven't met her yet."

"No, I don't believe I have," Trix said.

"Hello," Rory said.

"Come," Trix said. "I want to get a very good look at both of you. I already looked at Thea."

Thea went to sit down while Lorelai and Rory went up to her.

"They're tall," Trix said.

"Well, yes, they are," Richard said.

Trix asked, "How's your health? Almost as good as Thea's, I presume?"

"Oh, good," Lorelai said.

"Very healthy," Rory said and Lorelai hummed in agreement.

"Good," Trix said. "That means the majority of your blood is Gilmore blood. Like I told Thea, Gilmore's don't get sick. Am I right, Richard?"

"Oh, we wouldn't dare, Trix," Richard said.

"That's right," Trix said. To Lorelai, she said, "Your mother is always sick."

"I'm hardly always sick," Emily said.

"You're sick right now," Trix replied.

Thea looked at Emily. She seemed fine to her.

Lorelai asked, "Are you sick now, Mom?"

"Headache," Emily said.

"Gilmore's don't have headaches," Trix said. "Our heads are perfect." To Lorelai, "You don't drink?"

"Uh, well..." started Lorelai.

"Emily, get this woman a drink," Trix said.

"Oh, I'll do it," Richard said.

"Oh, thanks, Dad." Lorelai said, "White wine."

"I'm going to go get the hors d'ouevres," Emily said, going to get the kitchen.

"So, you're Rory and you're Thea," Trix said.

"Yes, ma'am," Rory said. She and Lorelai had taken the couch opposite of Thea.

"My son speaks of you two constantly," Trix said. "He seems very fond of you both."

"Oh, well, I'm very fond of him too," Rory said and Thea nodded in agreement.

Richard passed Lorelai a glass of white wine, "These two little girls are as smart as a whip, Mom." Richard sat down, "I think they have a great deal of you in them."

Trix asked, "Really?" Richard hummed in agreement, "How nice." Emily came with a tray and Trix sounded offended, "Is this cheese?"

"Yes it is," Emily said.

"Am I supposed to eat that cheese?" asked Trix.

"Well, only if you like," Emily replied.

Richard asked, "Emily, where are those spiced nuts that Trix likes so much?"

"I'll get some," Emily said. She put the tray down on the coffee table and went to get the spiced nuts.

Thea felt sympathy for Emily.

Trix looked at Lorelai, "So, Lorelai, since I've you last, you've grown up, gotten pregnant out of wedlock, raised two children, and still haven't bothered to get married. Have I left anything out?"

"Well, sometime in between growing up and getting pregnant, I got my ears pierced," Lorelai replied.

"I've always hated a scandal," Trix replied. "However, I've always appreciated self-sufficiency. Tell, how do you support these children?"

"I run an inn and Thea works at the local bakery," Lorelai replied.

Trix asked, "Hard work?"

"Yes, it is," Lorelai replied.

Trix looked at Thea, "Is it hard work at the bakery?"

"Yes," Thea said. "It's just me, Fran, and Marjorie working there. I planned on being a physicist, but I think I'll take over the bakery one day."

"Good," Trix said. "Hard work is good for a woman – makes her stronger. I admire people who enjoy hard work and women own their own businesses."

Emily came in with a bowl filled with nuts, "Here we go; spiced nuts."

"Thank you, Emily," said Trix. She held her hands out and wiggled her fingers, "I suppose I can just put these nuts in my hand."

Thea had to look away to stifle a laugh, because her mind went straight to perverted stuff.

"I'll be right back," Emily said with a forced smile, before taking off.

Thea tuned them out and Emily returned with plates and napkins. Thea took some spiced nuts and more cheese, because it bothered that no one was eating the food, which was a waste.

"Richard, I would like to be escorted into the dining room, now," Trix said.

"Your wish is my command," Richard said, getting up to escort her to the dining room.

"Well, uh, I'm not sure that dinner is ready just yet," Emily said.

"Well, perhaps our presence in the dining room will teach your help that when one is told dinner is at seven o'clock, people often expects dinner at seven o'clock," Trix replied.

"But it's only five after, Mom," Emily said.

They stopped in the entrance between the dining room and living room.

"Only five after?" repeated Trix. To Richard, she said, "Only five after? Richard, in the event that I am kidnapped and a ransom is demanded at a certain time, I would prefer that Emily not be in charge of the drop-off."

Richard smiled before heading into the dining room with Lorelai and Rory following after.

Thea looked at Emily, "When the kidnappers call, you'll be the first to answer the phone, just so you can hang up on them, huh?"

"Yes," Emily said.

They were eating when Rory said to Emily, "Grandma, this dinner's delicious."

"Very good young lady. We all believed you," Trix cut in. "Now, let's talk about your education. Where are you two attending school?"

"I go to Stars Hollow High," Thea said. "It's the local public school."

"And I go to Chilton," Rory said.

"Rory is in the top ten percent of her class," Richard said.

"We're very proud of our Rory," Emily added. "She's going to Harvard."

Trix asked Rory, "Harvard?"

"Yes, ma'am," Rory said.

Trix looked at Thea, "And where are you going for college?"

"Well, I was thinking of going to Yale for business management," Thea said. "But there were some other choices."

Trix scoffed, "Nonsense, you're going to Yale like your grandfather and like his father before him."

"I'm not entirely sure I can afford that," Thea said.

"If you want, I will pay for it," Trix said.

Richard made a choking sound, "Now, Trix, you don't have to—"

"I want to, Richard," Trix stated firmly. "I think a girl, who wants to own her own business like her mother, should have the best."

"Okay, Grandmother Lorelai, if you want," Thea said. It was a little to much. Sure, Straub and Francine had arranged a trust fund for her for Yale, but if she planned on taking over the bakery after Fran and she planned on owning the Dragonfly Inn, she needed all the money she could get.

"That's Trix to you," Trix told her with a smile. She barely knew anything about Thea, since Richard mainly bragged about Rory. "So, Rory is going to Harvard?"

"Yes," Rory replied.

Trix asked, "Richard, you can you allow one of your granddaughters to go to Harvard?"

Richard started, "Now, Trix—"

"You're a Yale man; your father was a Yale man and Thea is on her way towards Yale!" interrupted Trix.

"Well, we want Rory to be whatever kind of man she wants to be," Lorelai cut in.

Thea found it funny that Lorelai said Rory can be whoever she wanted, but Lorelai was set on Rory going to Harvard.

"That's enough jokes for this evening, Lorelai," Trix admonished.

"Sorry," Lorelai replied, taking a sip of her wine.

Trix said, "Now if you don't mind my asking, Chilton is rather an expensive institution. I'm curious how the manager of an inn can afford such a luxury?"

Lorelai started, "Ah, well..."

"We're helping Lorelai out a little," Emily said.

"Yes, we've seen to it that Rory's education is taken care of," Richard added.

Trix asked Thea, "Now, tell me, why is Rory going to Chilton, while you're going to a local public school?"

Thea thought, Because I'm not smart enough for Chilton?

"Oh, uh, there was only one spot available," Lorelai said.

"And I didn't even both applying," Thea said. "I like Stars Hollow High."

"Where people stab you in the back with sewing needles and girls get stabbed in the eye with pens," Rory finished.

"At least there's never a boring day at Stars Hollow High," Thea said. To Trix, she said, "My GPA is at least a 3.7. I'm sure that I won't even get a scholarship to Yale."

"Nonsense, if an average man can get into Yale, you can too," Trix said.

Thea was confused, wondering if Trix just called her an average man.

"Rory's Chilton expenses are temporary," Lorelai said, trying to bring the conversation back onto Rory. "It's a loan. I plan to pay them back every cent. They know this."

Trix put her fork and knife down, "That's it. I'm done, Richard. Tomorrow Thea and Rory, I shall plan the menu. When you've lived in Europe, you learn a thing or two about food."

"Oh, I can't," Rory said. "I'm studying tomorrow. I'm in a study group and our presentation is due on Monday."

"I have to work tomorrow," Thea told Trix. "And I have a history project I have to do with Craig."

Trix asked, "What project are you doing for history, Thea?"

"We have to make a newspaper that looks like it came from the 1920s," Thea replied.

"Oh, very well," Trix said. "Your mother can tell you all about it."

"I will," Lorelai said. "I promise."

Emily asked, "Won't you have dessert?"

"I once traveled to a small village in Cambodia," Trix replied. "I did not eat dessert there either."

When Trix ended up leaving, Thea got some good news; she had a two hundred and fifty thousand dollar trust fund set up, but Rory had lost out on hers though, and Thea and Craig had gotten a B+ on their history project.