A/N: Title is borrowed from Psychostick's song Uncle Material.

Rachel and Billie did not stay secret for too long. By the next day, everyone knew that Billie was Luke's other daughter and it was like the townies, especially Miss Patty, were trying to get a glimpse of the toddler.

Luke had also signed some document that made him and Doose be business partners, which had to be a nightmare for Luke.

Lane and Todd's band also seemed to have a love for Thea's two cats, River and Phoenix. Sometimes when the band is practicing, River and Phoenix would slink in and Zach would yell, "Break time! Time to pet the cats!" and they would crowd around the cats just so they can pet them or try to give belly rubs. They even bought other cat toys for them to play with and would play with the two cats during 'break time' which became 'Play with the Band Cats Time' because they have dubbed the two cats as 'Band Cats.'

Thea found it amusing that River and Phoenix loved Lane and Todd's band, but hated Dean.

A few times, Dean came over under the guise of 'friends hanging out' River and Phoenix hissed at him.

Once or three times, Dean had come over when Sage, Aiden, Todd, and the band were over. Dean had gotten irrationally jealous a few times, especially when Sage and Aiden were talking to Rory about something that made her laugh.

Zach, who was eating blueberry cookies that Thea had made, had gotten confused and said to Dean, "Sage and Aiden are clearly madly in love with Thea. Why are you mad at them for talking to Rory?"

Of course, Brian had found a denim jacket in a thrift store and proceeded to put it on River after buying it because it was small enough for a cat to wear.

Thea wanted to tell him that the cats don't like wearing cat sweaters – but River strutted around the garage showing off her new denim jacket.

"If you can find a vest for Phoenix and a Guns N' Roses patch and Mötley Crüe patch, I'll bake you those chocolate chip cheesecake cookies," Thea said.

She shouldn't have underestimated the power of four teenage boys who love her baking, because they did. Zach even sewed the Guns N' Roses patch onto Phoenix's denim vest and sewed the Mötley Crüe patch onto River's denim jacket.

Thea wasn't sure why she underestimated them.

Rory had to go to the bookstore to get a travel guide for hers and Lorelai's backpacking trip through Europe.

Thea was sitting there, listening to Lorelai and Emily bicker about Aunt Maureen.

Lorelai was saying, "Mom, I swear, it was Aunt Maureen."

Emily said, "Aunt Maureen would never hike up her skirt in public."

Lorelai replied, "She would after half a gallon of eggnog."

"It was me," Thea said. "It was I who hiked up her skirt at the Christmas party."

Emily looked insulted, "Don't be ridiculous, Thea. You weren't even born yet." Emily turned to Richard, "Richard, who was the one who got drunk at our Christmas party and hiked up her skirt in front of the Town and Country photographer?"

Richard wiped his glasses off, "I seem to recall that it might have been Aunt Lucinda."

Lorelai looked insulted, "It was Aunt Maureen."

Rory walked, "I'm so sorry I'm late." To Emily and Richard, she said, "Hi Grandma, Hi Grandma."

Richard said, "Hello Rory. Where have you been?"

"I stopped by the bookstore on the way here," replied Rory, setting her backpack down and unzipping it.

Lorelai asked, "You got them?"

Rory took out some thick travel guidebooks, "I got 'em!"

Emily asked, "Got what?"

Rory handed the guidebooks over to Emily, while Lorelai explained, "Rory and I are starting to plan our Europe trip."

"Without Thea?" asked Richard, confused.

"Oh, Georgia's dad got a raise and he's saved up enough money to take me and my friends to Disney World for our graduation for a week," Thea said. "We're just pooling all our money together. He and Georgia's mom will chaperone. Georgia will look after me, Georgia, and Liberty, while Georgia's dad will look after the guys."

"And the day after graduation, we are gone," Rory said.

Richard said, "Well, that sounds very exciting."

Emily was looking at the guidebooks disgustedly, "Lorelai, what are these?"

Lorelai replied, "Those are guidebooks."

Emily read, "'Europe Through the Backdoor. The Rough Guide to Europe." She looked at Lorelai, "What kind of guidebooks are these?"

Lorelai was smug, "The cheap kind."

Rory explained, "They have all the good information about backpacking and staying in hostels."

Emily asked, "Backpacking and staying in hostels?"

Richard asked, "Who's backpacking and staying in hostels?"

Lorelai spoke for her and Rory, "We are."

Emily and Richard laughed.

Emily said, "No, you're not."

Richard said, "What a ridiculous thought."

"We are," Rory said. "We're going to backpack around Europe. I told you that two years ago when we went golfing together. I said that Mom and I were going to backpack through Europe and do the whole hostel thing."

Richard frowned, "I do remember you telling me that." He sounded sarcastic, "It sounds delightful. Perhaps we should join them."

Emily replied sarcastically, "That sounds wonderful. Tomorrow I'll go out and buy some cutoffs."

Richard did a fake laugh.

Lorelai said, "Guys, we're not kidding."

Emily asked, "You're telling me you're seriously going to traipse across Europe with your possessions strapped to your back and sleep in a room with thirty other people?"

Lorelai replied, "Yes."

"No," Richard stated.

Rory said, "Grandpa."

Richard replied, "It's not safe. I forbid it. Call our travel agent."

Rory explained, "But we want to be spontaneous. Jump a train to Paris, head off to Spain."

Lorelai said, "Oh no, it's raining in Spain. But since the rain in Spain stays mainly in the plain..."

Rory replied, "Looks like Italy for us!"

"Mamma mia!" replied Lorelai.

Richard said, "You can still travel around aimlessly and stay in a decent hotel."

Lorelai said, "We wanna do it cheap."

Emily said, "We'll pay."

"No," replied Lorelai.

Rory said, "Grandma, it's going to be fun, really."

Lorelai said, "Kids do this all the time."

Emily replied, "Yes, but you're not a kid, you're a grown woman. What are people going to think when they see a grown woman bunking down with a bunch of twenty-year-olds?"

Lorelai said, "Well, if the twenty-year-olds are cute, they'll probably think, 'Lucky!'"

"Grandma, don't be upset," Rory said. "It really is going to be great."

Emily opened the book to read from a page, "'What's so traumatic about a night without a bed anyway? My survey shows those who have had the opportunity to be a refugee for a night have their perspectives broaden and actually enjoy the experience.'" She spoke to her husband, "Richard, this book is encouraging them to sleep in a park like a squirrel."

Lorelai said, "It's okay, Mom."

Emily replied, "My first trip to Europe, I went to Paris and stayed at the Ritz."

Lorelai said, "Well, I tell you what, if it'll make you happy, we'll go to Paris and eat out of their dumpster."

Emily looked offended and looked at Thea, "What about you and your friends? Are you going to stay in a hostel too?"

Thea was confused, "No. We'll be staying in a motel. Libby and Jess are rooming together because they're cousins and they both snore. I'll room with Georgia, Sage and Aiden would room together, and Todd is rooming with Georgia's dad. Georgia's mom gets a room all to herself, but Lane would room with her if we can convince Lane's mom to let her go."

"Good luck with that," Rory said.

When Thea came into the diner, Liberty and Jess were at a table together, coloring with Billie. Well, Billie was scribbling all over her coloring pages.

"Try and stay inside the lines," Liberty told Billie. "Like this." She showed Billie the coloring page.

"Color outside the lines," Jess told Billie. "Be a little rebel." Billie proceeded to color all over Jess's coloring page. Jess looked extremely offended.

Liberty laughed at Jess's misfortune and then Billie colored all over Liberty's coloring page which made Liberty gasp.

Jess laughed, "You're growing on me, kid."

Thea went to sit at the counter, while Luke gave a fond smile at seeing Liberty, Jess, and Billie together, laughing.

Thea looked over at the table spotting Billie wearing a pink flannel over a Care Bears shirt. She looked at Luke, "Was putting the flannel on Billie your idea?"

"Nope," Luke replied. "According to Rachel, Billie really loves flannel."

"Definitely your kid," Thea replied.

"Yup, earlier, I had to stop Jess from trying to get Billie to butcher the alphabet," Luke said. "Jess said it was a remix version of the alphabet song."

"Once Billie starts pre-school, she's going to terrorize the teacher," Thea said.

Luke nodded and Dean walked in the diner.

Why the hell was Dean wearing a turtleneck with his leather jacket?

While Dean gave Luke an order for the construction, Rory came into the diner holding an envelope.

Thea looked at Rory, "What's that for?"

"You and I have been cordially invited for Sherry Tinsdale's C-Section," Rory said to Thea.

Luke said, "I'm sorry, you and Thea have been invited to what?"

"Sherry's C-Section," Rory said. She read from the invitation, "It's on Friday, February seventh, six o'clock p.m.."

"I heard being invited to a birthday or a wedding or a bridal shower but never to a C-Section," Luke said. He took the invitation from Rory to read, "'Join the girls for a toast, a hug, a wave to the mommy as they wheel her off, dinner at Sushi Sushi, and then back to the hospital for a formal viewing of brand-new baby Georgia. RSVP at your earliest convenience. P.S. – gifts are not necessary, but always appreciated.'" He looked disgusted, "Sounds like she needs to be locked in a padded room."

Dean seemed confused, "You can RSVP for a C-Section?"

"One, three, seven..." Billie started counting.

Rory looked over at the table. Jess was grinning maniacally. Rory shook her head and turned back to Luke, "Once Jess has his way, Billie's going to terrorize the preschool teacher."

"Corrupting the youth already," Dean replied darkly.

"So, this thing," Luke said to Rory and Thea, "Are you both going?"

"Well, I don't know. I mean, I know it's weird, but I kind of wanna see Georgia. She's sort of my sister," Rory said. "I mean, not Thea's friend, Georgia, but uh, Gigi, our sort of sister."

"And we have to bring gifts," Thea said.

"Actually, it says gift-giving is optional, but greatly appreciated," Luke said. "You don't have to give a gift."

Rory asked, "What should we give to her?"

"A straight jacket," Luke stated bluntly.

Emily had sent some guidebooks over for Rory's and Lorelai's backpacking trip, but she sent Florida: The Rough Guide which was a eleven-year-old guidebook to Florida. Thea wasn't sure how an outdated guidebook would help her, but it was the thought that counts, she guessed. 

However, at school, two pregnant girls got in a fist-fight because it turned out that it was the same guy who got them pregnant. A girl fell into the display case and went into labor, right before eight a.m..

Then during lunch someone put laxatives in the ketchup dispenser, which resulted in half of the school going home.

And two guys were fighting over a girl, and one of the guys' younger brothers, who had a knife, went over and stabbed the guy, who his brother was fighting with, in the ass.

During an assembly about violence, the office secretary came over and handed a note to the principal, who took it and looked at it, "Theodosia Gilmore, Sherry has gone into labor and wants yours and Rory's presence at the Boston Memorial hospital." He looked at his remaining students. "May I suggest you two take a train? Good luck."

Thea had to haul ass out of the assembly.

They took a train and a bus to get to the hospital. They took an elevator and when they got off, they spotted Maureen on her cell phone.

They went over to the woman, who was on the phone, "As soon as I can. All right, bye."

Rory asked, "Maureen?"

"Yes?" asked Maureen, clearly not recognizing them, though they were at the baby shower together.

Rory said, "I'm Rory and this is Thea." Maureen stared blankly at them, "We're Christopher's daughters. You called me to come down. I had to get Thea first."

"Rory, Thea yes, dears, thank God you're here," Maureen said. "Sherry's gonna be so happy to see you. She's a basketcase. Well, who wouldn't be, right?"

Thea looked around, "So, is anyone else here?"

Maureen said, "Oh, they're working."

Rory was stunned, "What?"

Maureen spoke quickly, "Well, we had all planned on next week, but Sherry screwed up, so what can you do? Thank God you're here. She'll be thrilled. She's feeling a little abandoned. Now, she's right in there. Do not mention how fat she is. For some reason, she's extremely sensitive about that today. Okay, kiss. I'll call you later to find out how everything's going." Maureen headed for the door.

"Wait, where are you going?" asked Rory.

"I've gotta get back to work," Maureen said. "I'm swamped today."

Rory asked, "You're leaving us here alone?"

Maureen said, "Believe me, I would love to stay hon – impossible. What can I say? Sherry screwed up. Anyhow, you'll be fine since you two have each other. If you need anything, call."

Rory said, "I don't have your number."

"Sherry's got it," Maureen said, walking away.

Rory and Thea went into Sherry's room.

"Sherry?" Rory said, "It's Rory and Thea."

"Rory? Thea?" Sherry said, "Oh my God, I'm so glad you're here."

Thea was confused over Sherry's newly blonde hair. She wondered if it was safe to dye your hair while pregnant.

Rory asked, "How are you?"

"This wasn't supposed to happen now," Sherry said.

"I know," Rory said.

Thea asked, "Why isn't Christopher here?"

"Christopher's out of town," Sherry explained. "I think Maureen called him and left a message but it doesn't matter because he's not here. Where's Maureen?"

"She had to go back to work," Thea said, not at all surprised that Christopher was out of town. Figures that dead-beats are always going to be a dead-beat.

"But she said she'd call later," Rory added.

Sherry asked, "She's at work?"

"Yes," Rory replied.

Sherry said, "I'm lying in a bed. God knows what's gonna happen."

"Well, you're going to have a baby," Rory said.

Sherry continued ranting, "And she goes back to work. I would love to go back to work, but I can't because I have to stay here."

Rory pointed out, "Well, yeah, because you're going to have a baby."

Sherry continued ranting, "She's not here. None of my friends are here. Christopher isn't here. No one is here. No one but you two. Thank God you're here, Rory, Thea." Rory went over to touch Sherry's shoulder, "I don't think that I could do this by myself because this wasn't supposed to happen until next week. I wrote it down. I wrote it down. I wrote it down!" It looked like Sherry had tightly gripped Rory's arm as she started sobbing.

Rory awkwardly said, "Boy, do you look thin."

Thea gave her a look before asking Sherry, "Is there anything you can do to take your mind off of this?"

"Well, I have to call Christopher and I have some appointments to rearrange," Sherry said.

"Well, I can help with that," Rory replied.

"Good, my phone's in my purse," Sherry said.

Thea handed Sherry's purse over and Sherry took her phone out and a headpiece to hand it to Rory.

"Thea, please hand me that briefcase," Sherry said.

Thea handed it over and Sherry started taking documents out and a planner.

Rory had managed to get a hold of Christopher to tell him about Sherry going into labor.

Then Sherry had Rory call the first person.

Rory finished saying, "So, we'll see you next Friday at three. And once again, sorry for the short notice. Okay, bye." She hung up.

Sherry asked, "Great, who's next?"

Thea looked at the planner, "A guy named Sheldon Harnick."

Sherry spoke to Rory, "Try and set him for Wednesday."

"Okay," Rory replied.

"Oh, and don't tell him I'm pregnant. He hates pregnancy," Sherry said.

"How does a plumbing problem sound?" asked Thea.

"Sounds good," Sherry said.

Before Rory could call Sheldon Harnick, a nurse walked in, "Okay, so how are we doing?"

"I'm not sure," Sherry replied.

"Well, don't be nervous. Everything's going to be just fine. I just wanted to check on you and to see who's going to be with you in the delivery room while it's happening," the nurse said.

"Oh, my fiancé's on his way." Sherry looked at Rory, "He's on his way, right?"

"Yes, he's on his way," Rory said, nodding.

Sherry said, "Okay, so when he gets here, he'll come in with me."

The nurse asked, "And if he doesn't get here in time?"

Sherry said, "Then we'll just have to wait."

The nurse said, "I'm afraid that's gonna be a little tough to arrange. Once it starts, that's it."

"Okay, well, then I guess it's Rory or Thea," Sherry said. "Right?"

"Uh, yeah," Thea said quickly.

Rory nodded, "And when Thea faints, I'll go in."

The nurse spoke to Thea, "Okay, then I'm gonna get you a gown and some gloves so you'll be all set in case you have to go in."

"Sounds terrific," Thea said with a fake smile.

"I'll be right back," the nurse said, before leaving.

Sherry asked Rory, "Okay, where were we?"

Rory said, "Um, listen, Sherry, Thea, I really need a cup of coffee. Would you mind if I ran out really quick?"

"Oh, no, go ahead," Sherry said. "Thea and I can make the next few calls ourselves."

"Okay," Rory said, going into the hallway.

Thea looked at Sherry, "You know, it's okay to be afraid when you're doing things alone. I remember starting kindergarten. The school put me and Rory in separate classes and I remember being scared and wanting my mom there, but she went into Rory's classroom and I had to walk in mine by myself."

Sherry took Thea's hand, "If it was possible, I wish I gave birth to you so I can show you what a real mother's love is like."

That was a little weird but Thea appreciated it, "Thanks. I know you'll be a good mother to Gigi."

Thea had to make copies of some papers, conning an ICU guy into using his copy machine, and she had trouble trying to find a fax machine, but found one in an open room, before faxing the papers over. When she finally returned to the hospital room, Sherry was sitting on her feet while talking on the phone.

When she walked in the hospital Sherry looked at Thea, "Did you get those things faxed?"

"It took a while, but I managed it," Thea said.

"Good girl," Sherry told her.

Lorelai and Rory walked in the room.

Lorelai said, "Sherry, hang up."

"No, I have to finish this call," Sherry said.

Lorelai said, " Just say goodbye."

Sherry started, "But—"

"You'll call 'em back," interrupted Lorelai.

Sherry started, "I—"

Lorelai took the phone from her and said, "Hi. Uh, Sherry's gonna have to call you back. Yeah, I promise. Okay, goodbye." She hung up.

"No, that was work," Sherry said.

"Sherry, you really shouldn't be working right now," Lorelai pointed out.

SHerry said, "I can't just stop everything because I'm..."

"Having a baby," Lorelai finished. "Admitting it is the first step, honey."

"I'm not ready. I had it planned. Christopher was supposed to be here," Sherry said.

Lorelai said, "I know."

"I don't know what to do," Sherry said.

"Well, the first thing you have to do is calm down and stop working," Lorelai told her, taking the papers of the bed.

"Okay," Sherry said.

"And the second thing is, you need to tell me why you're sitting like that," Lorelai said.

Sherry explained, "Maureen told me that Howard Stern said that if you squat, it makes the baby come out faster."

Thea didn't trust a guy who degraded women.

"Okay, as long as you have a sane reason from a reliable source," Lorelai replied sarcastically.

Sherry said, "I'm scared."

Lorelai said, "I know. It's scary, and it hurts like hell. And remember, when it comes out not to look at it too hard until they give it a good cleaning, or you'll think you gave birth to phlegm. But, um, once they give it a good scrub, it's just unbelievably cool."

"Yeah?" asked Sherry.

Lorelai said, "Well, and look how good they grow up. Not bad, huh?"

Sherry said, "I hope I get that lucky."

"I've got a good feeling," Lorelai said.

"Thank you," Sherry said. "Lorelai?"

"Yeah?" asked Lorelai.

Sherry said, "My ankles are starting to hurt."

Lorelai said, "Okay, grab an arm." Sherry grabbed one arm and Thea had Sherry take the other so Sherry could lay back down.

As they covered her, Sherry said, "I'm glad you're here."

"Well, at this moment, you probably should be," Lorelai stated.

Thea stared at the babies through a window. She found herself wondering how parents can love one child and not the other.

A man asked her, "Which one is yours? Those three right there? They're all mine." He seemed proud.

"None of them are mine but my half-sister will be joining them soon," Thea replied. "I just hope you love all three in the way my parents never loved me."

"I promised myself to show my boys affection because my dad never gave me any," the man said.

"That's nice," Thea said, looking at the three identical triplet boys. "They are cute."

"Yeah, they are," the man said. "I'll say it because you probably have never heard it before. 'I'm proud of you.'"

"Thank you," Thea told him with a smile.