Gulf's POV

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Since we got engaged I felt that we got really close, they were no limits between us, like we've become a real couple which is not right, we are getting confused by this closeness and are getting so confused since we've been together every single day for about 9 months and if this gets longer we may really fall too deep in this fake life we created.

I was trying to find a plan to make us both stop this acting like this, to at least return to how we used to be at the very beginning then my friend Panit came asking me to help him courting a girl but she was being stuck by her best friend, at first I did what he asked me to, eating dinner and talking with the girl while Panit was flirting with his now girlfriend but then I found this as a chance.

What if I truly fall in love with her? Then everything will clear up and this confusion between me and Mew will clear up, he will also start seriously thinking about finding a lover and we can call off our engagement much earlier, if he do find someone... he find someone... Mew falling in love with someone else... when that thought suddenly came to me I felt my chest tighten and feeling extremely sad, the thought itself is hurting me but I know it's because of the confusion we are having.

I started seriously trying to get to know that girl, she is cute, has a dark green eyes and long light brown hair, fashionable, she is pretty smart from the medical department studying to be a nurse, I also understood why she was sticking to her friend, it seem some accident happened before and Panit's girlfriend got kidnapped before because of her father's job that's why she wants to protect her.

We even went on double date after exams and we had fun shopping and going to all kind of places, I was enjoying myself being with her and she knows how to make me interested in the topics that she starts, however, no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I concentrate, Mew's face keeps popping up in my mind, I accidently touched her silky long hair yet all I could think of was Mew's messy funny hair and how I brush it when he lays on my lap.

She ones cooked me lunch and it was tasty yet it was nothing compared to Mew's cooking, the way he cuts the vegetables, add the spices, call for me and let me taste the food, how he even feed me... yes, my mind always travels to the same direction, the times I had with my professor.

Today too we met, had some fun then I walked her back, once I got in, Mew stood up looking so furious and angry, smth must happened, did I get seen by his parents with her? He then started yelling about me seeing the girl, he looked shocked for a minute, I tried to make him understand that we should both think of our future

"... it's you who need to understand Gulf" he said with a calm yet serious tone making me look up at him, his demeanor completely changed so suddenly making me confused but also worried, I followed him stepping closer to me, he gazed into my eyes as if he just realized smth, he slowly reached his hands gently trapping my face between his palms, his touch send a shiver throughout my whole body, a tender grin appeared

"I love you Gulf, not as my fake lover, not as a friend, but as someone I really want to stay with for the rest of my life" without noticing I held my breath, did he just say that he loves me? No, it can't be, I must be wrong, yet once my mind finished working and I understood him I quickly stepped back

"please don't say that" I desperately shook my head not wanting to hear it again, he stood watching my reaction not saying anything so I continued

"you are just confused P' Mew just like me, there is nothing romantic between us, you just think it's love because we got so close to each other" he sighed walking toward me while I kept moving back until I fell tripping by the dining table, he knelt down coming face to face

"that's what I thought first, an illusion because we've been doing couple things and there was no walls between us but I realized that it's not, if I didn't really love you I wouldn't be this jealous over a random girl who got closer to you, if I didn't love you I wouldn't be enjoying every second I spend with you, if I didn't love you I wouldn't be giving up my ideal life for you" he said with soft yet earnest tone, I felt his stares crawling inside me and It scared me, trying to make me believe him but I can't

"no, you are wrong, you're not jealous, you are angry and worried that our deal will be discovered, you are just feeling comfortable because we understand and know everything about each other and no, you did never give up your ideal life, because this current life is the perfect one you imagined to begin with, not being nagged by your parents about blind dates and your friend with the USA thing" I stated jumping up followed by him, I was expecting him to back away, to understand what I was saying , instead he kept his sweet smile and walked closer to me

"you know Gulf, Meeting you was a fate, being fake lovers and friends, was a choice. And falling in love, was bound to happen. Times changes, so did we and so did our feelings, your sudden appearance changed my life. bit by bit, I drowned in thoughts of you. I started looking for you everywhere, I can't pass a day without hearing your voice, honestly I became addicted to touching you, the thought of you leaving and finding someone else breaks my heart... I love you Gulf, I truly love you and I'll keep saying it until you believe me" as soon as he finished he pulled me closer into his embrace, it was a kind soothing hug.

Once he released me, he patted on my head showing me a genuine smile but it felt a little sad, his eyes were screaming at me to believe him but I couldn't since I was full of doubts, I felt hurt seeing him depressed and my body and heart were urging me to hold him tightly but my rational mind was stopping me telling me that's it's as fake as my life since I started living with him.

"it's fine Gulf, take your time, I will wait for you" he stepped back giving me space

"please think seriously about this but not entirely with you mind, use your heart too" I faintly nodding not finding any words.

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Everything became awkward between us, I couldn't help but hiding in my room with my brain full only of him, I already apologized to the girl, after all it was unfair for her since I couldn't even be attracted to her at all, the words 'real' and 'fake' are fighting inside me, my heart and my mind are at war, I didn't know what to do.

Mew on the other hand was normal, he did keep confessing how much he truly loves me, cooking for me and even inviting me out, how could he be that sure? He's never been in love before so how can he know that it's love that he felt for me? I'm going crazy.

After a few days of thinking none stop I decided to hear the opinions of some people so at first called my mother who was luckily free during lunch time while I was alone in the backyard as always

"hey mom"

"hello sweety, what's wrong with your voice?"

"nothing"

"no you're not, tell me are you really alright?"

"yes I am but... I kind of had a fight with Mew" I came up with a lie, she chuckled

"couple fights are so normal, I'm sure you remember how many times I fought with your father, I even left the house for two days"

"I remember, dad almost got insane and went to the police" it was a funny memory and it made me smile a bit

"having years of experience I can only advice you to talk it over with him, sitting down and discussing things is the best way to solve any problems whether it's small or big"

"mom? Haven't you doubted your love for my father during those fights?" she paused for a while

"never, no matter how much I was furious at him, no matter how much I hated the fact that we are poor and had to work, I still loved him, until this second, you know how I suddenly fell for him, and I never regretted that I did"

"yes you told me the story but how did you know it was a real love? That he was the one?"

"I didn't, I followed my heart, and after getting to know him more, I found myself falling deeper for him, he was there for me when I was happy and when I was sad, he supported me, encouraged me and respected me and mostly he stayed by my side even though I showed him all my flaws"

"you betted your whole life on what your heart told you?" she paused again

"when it comes to love you always must follow your heart dear because the mind can only accept facts but real feeling are not facts, I trusted your father with my life, he proved it for me how much he cherished me and I know that even if we are fighting or apart he will keep loving me and I will too" listening to my mother helped me calm down a lot, just hearing her delicate pure voice made me smile understanding every word she said

"thank you mom"

"Gulf, whatever happens listen to your heart and don't doubt your partner if you truly loves him, talk to him, show him how you feel and prove to him how much he means for you and I'm sure you'll be happy dear"

"I will, I'm so glad I called you, please say hi to my father"

"take care son" we hanged up, I leaned back looking up to the sky as my mother's words swam inside my head, if I follow my heart I... my phone rang, it was Earth

"hi brother!" his cheerful voice was refreshing

"Earth how are you doing?" I asked

"nothing much aside from working you?"

"studying, it's my last year after all"

"I'm sure you will be fine, Gulf I want to ask you for an idea"

"an idea?"

"Me and Mali want to arrange a surprise party for Kiet since it's his birthday, I even started buying house decorations and all but I have one problem, his birthday is this Sunday and he usually spend all day at home if we don't go out, so do you have any idea how to make him go out for couple of hours while I prepare the house?"

"umm... you can ask him to go shopping"

"he will never go without me"

"tell him to go out with his friends"

"he will get suspicious"

"you even know how he will feel, you really love him don't you?"

"of course, we've been through so much together, he listen to me and accepted me wholeheartedly, he earned my trust and understood me, and most of all I always feel comfortable and happy with him, it's smth that I've never felt with the rest that I dated, whenever I talk about him a smile form on my face immediately and I can't stop blabbering about how much I love him, well I'm sure you noticed that" I smiled

"of course I did, I almost know everything about P' Kiet thanks to you"

"I know you feel the same too about P' Mew, you can't help but smile when hearing just his name, you keep wanting to be with him every minute, missing his touch and voice and kisses, telling him about your day and memories, and listening to him too, even though you've been together for a short time compared to me but you felt a connection to him when you first met right?"

his question made me stop for a minute recalling the first day we met, as he came toward me, once I looked to him I did feel smth, smth that could never explain and I kept ignoring it, like we were meant to meet there at that time and place during my hardest part of life ready to give up my dreams...

"like we were fated to be meet and be together" I unconsciously said

"it's not 'like', you both we complete stranger but quickly got so close and soon after started dating, it was a love at first sight Gulf, it's just you, who has never been in love before, never realized until sometime later, the kind of love that makes me bet your whole life for just him"

"thank you Earth"

"for what?"

"for everything"

"I don't know what's going on but I'm glad I helped, anyway, we kept talking about love and forgot about the idea part!"

"I will think of smth and as soon as I find one I will contact you"

"alright, I'm counting on you" he hang up making letting make up my mind

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"P' Mew" I called his name after getting out of my room, he was sitting by the dining table on his laptop, he stopped glancing up to me, there was mixture of sadness and surprise into his eyes, I breathed out feeling so relaxed since I already know what I should be saying and doing

"I thought about everything up until know, our fake relationship, our different lives, your confession, and I realized that" I stopped watching him standing up facing me, he looked worried, scared, like he was ready to be heartbroken, I slowly took his right hand feeling him flinch as his eyes were still locked on me

"I'm sorry for hurting you, for making you this scared and depressed, I'm so thankful for everything you've done for me, you saved me, when I saw you for the first time, I got this weird feeling inside me, a feeling I never experienced before, you saw me at my worst condition but you told me to never give up anything and I'm glad I didn't, I'm glad that I accepted to be your fake lover and started living with you but... I'm sorry I can't keep our deal anymore, I promised to be your fake boyfriend yet I can't do it anymore" for a moment I could see him looking so shocked as tears formed in his eyes he stepped back looking away

"i-it's fine, I-I understand, you're free" he said with cracked voice turning around I quickly jumped hugging him tightly surrounding his waist from behind

"Please don't sad, don't cry, I don't want to be your fake lover anymore because I want to be your real one!!!" I blurted out burying my face into his wide back, there was complete silence for a minute, seeing him sad made me so sad to that tears started sliding down my cheek. In a swift move he turned around holding me by my shoulder

"wha-what did you say?" his eyes already red, I reached wiping away his tears showing him my most pure smile

"I love you too, Mew, as my real lover, my real fiancé, I always loved you since the first time our eyes met, I'm sorry for not realizing it earlier, I was so confused but it seem that my love for you always existed since way before" another wave of silence surrounded us, he was looking deep into my eyes, into my soul as I opened for him the door of my heart where he will find himself carved there.

Another tear fell from his eyes but this time is was tears of joys, of love with a sweet smirk forming on his face he pulled me into a tight hug, my heart was beating millions a second, now that I realize how much I love him, my whole body is acting as a conduit to show him the unlimited level of love that came out rushing after being surprised for so long.

Leaving no chance for me to react, Mew, inexorably, pressed his tender lips to mine. It's soft and gentle and chaste, I immediately felt a wave of warmth that fills me up, spilling out from my heart and the warmth of Mew's lips on mine, rushing to every corner of my body, even the tips of my hair. Every inch of me is saturated with love.

He kept showering me with chaste sweet kisses stopping every time to stare at me as I asked him with my eyes for more and he happily complied, we kissed a couple of times before but they are nothing compared to this one, it was full of feeling and adoration that we carried for each other.

Even in the farthest future, I'm sure this will be my most precious and cherished memory from my whole life.

🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸

Finally! I finished writing the confession part, believe me it took 4 hours to write it ^^"

Now it's your turn to tell me how good I did, did you enjoy it?

I want to thank you for keeping up with my story and voting, it means a lot to me to know that you are enjoying every chapter :)